hannybee

Ms.worldwide

[hannahbahorski]

Indie Project

When looking for a book for my A.P. Lit final indie project, I had a really hard time. I saw that most people were choosing books that were for the most part, old. The language, setting, author and time period were all what I would consider an old book. This is partly because we needed a book that had criticism, but also because we are taught (in a very subtle way) that old books have more literary merit than more recent ones. However, I have always had a really hard time with old books. I never found them interesting. With that, I didn’t want to spend so much time working with a book that I had no interest in. However, I have always found futuristic/dystopian books so interesting. Finding a book that fit my interest but also had criticism on it was difficult. Alas, I did find one. The Uglies by Scott Westerfeld is a book I came across on a reddit website about good fiction books. For me, the concept of societal beauty standards has always garnered my attention and I’ve always had a lot to say about it. The description of the book immediately stuck out to me as something I would enjoy. As I read, I hope that I can learn something new or gain another perspective on beauty standards.

[hannahbahorski]

Like many of Poindexter’s other poems, after reading it I am left thinking “I agree but I also don’t”. Poindexter’s style of writing is special to me. He doesn’t use any fluff of fancy analogies to get to his point. He just comes out and says it. I like this about his writing, I find it more accessible to the reader. With this poem, he makes it boldly clear that he truly believes that the purpose in life is to love and be kind to others. At first read,  I thought, “this is an idea I can get behind!’ But after analyzing the poem a few more times, I kind of disagree. I don’t think the purpose of life or solution to anything can be described as “simple” or put into a one outcome equation. Life is so much more complicated than that. It is ignorant to think one idea can apply to every situation. I also disagree with all the references to nature he makes. If you actually look at the nature of humanity, we are selfish and wild. After all, we are animals. It is not natural to show unwavering compassion towards another human. Instead, I feel It is a conscious decision to use our humane qualities and advantages to help one another. Poindexter touches in such deep and complicated ideas and topics to truly test what the reader thinks about life. I really like it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsXO9brK7M

This is a link to a cool ted talk that reminded me of how Poindexter talks about life’s purpose. 

[hannahbahorski]

Poem #5

This poem hit me a little too hard. I relate so much to the very first sentence. I find myself having the mindset of  “I don’t care” and I think I have some how achieved a new level of cool or whatever. Just like Poindexter says, I wear it like a medal. Poindexter say that sometimes, that can be a good thing for you. In my case, not being so uptight about everything. But he then touches  on the negatives of this mindset. He says it can be used as an excuse. He says it is an excuse to not care about the noble things. I found it interesting that Poindexter used the word noble because it seems so subjective. What is classified as a noble thing? He goes on to list a few topics that he claims to be noble. Most of which are political issues. Just like the first line really hit me different, so did the second to last line. He says “It takes more strength to give a damn than to not.” That really made me think, what truly makes you a free person? Caring about literally everything and giving all of your energy, or letting go and not caring. This poem sounds like a cry from Poindexter saying that he isn’t surrounded by people who care about the things he dose. I can understand that craving. But at the same time, I can disagree. For some people, it can be too mentally taxing and emotionally exhausting to feel so passionately about things that it tears you down. Being noble can mean different things for different people. 

[hannahbahorski]

Poem #4

At first, I was very confused about the tequila and teal suit references. After doing some light research, it turns out that 1800 Silver is a brand of tequila that was created and became quite popular in the 1970′s. In addition, the trend of wearing brightly colored suits was a trend that peaked in the late 70′s and early 80′s. Poindexter made it clear he was craving to be a part of a different generation, and the clues to which one were hidden in his references. If he didn’t include the tequila brand, it would have been harder to figure out. Possibly a type of allusion. His reference to his grandparents also connected to a poem of his that I analyzed earlier. However, that poem was focused around the love his grandparents shared, and how he wishes to emulate that. This poem is about him emulating a different aspect of his grandparent’s generation. In his mind, there was something special about the bars, fashion and decorating about the 70′s. But, later in the poem he admits that he is “romanticizing the past”. Because I know many of Poindexter’s poetry is about social rights and political movements, I am inclined to assume part of what he means when he says the past is romanticized is about how social rights were in the 70′s. I was draw to this poem because I can relate. Sometimes I feel myself longing to be a part of a generation that had life so much simpler. But taking a step back, I see I am romanticizing a time period that also had a lot of awful things going on in it. 

Below I have a few pictures of the fashion, decorations and drinks Poindexter was referring to. 

[heblamesme]

Cheating: Poetry Blog 3

This poem here is from the poetry book called “Waiting For The Light” by Alicia Suskin Ostriker. The format of the poem was the first thing that caught my eye. Each stanza has its own position, and also each stanza has its own subject in a way. When I looked at the title of poem I assumed that poem would be about four men around a card table playing games, but that was only the first stanza. The rest of the poem is about different people but it’s still going on the same place. Which is Columbus and 97th which I interpreted as street names. I came to that conclusion when she said “Priest waiting to cross checks his wristwatch, maybe late for suicide watch”. This poem made a decent amount of sense until I reached the fifth stanza because it begins to say “you” and the text after that word seems irrelevant. For instance, when she says “your mothers packed dresses and trusted...”, like trusted what? She doesn’t finish her sentences. She goes on to try and connect each stanza together by saying “we all whip through it like blowing newspaper so many unread stories”. I follow the idea of that especially because she mentions several different people in the same place doing completely different things with completely different agendas. But overall this poem makes no sense to me and it’s frustrating because unlike my author Ostriker makes you interpret everything about her poems. Francisco says things bluntly and you get them and even is he uses metaphors that are difficult to understand, reading through several times helps you get what he’s saying. He never leaves you confused he always leaves you with a feeling of emotion whether it’s sad, happy, or shocked but never confused. Not matter how many times I read this it still doesn’t makes sense to me. She doesn’t use a lot of metaphors which seems to be the problem because everything she saying is short-ended like she doesn’t really wanna explain anything. I don’t really like this poet. She’s turning me off, I think I’m gonna stay faithful to Fransico because this ain’t it. This poem reminds me of this GIF cause I’m lost

(370)

[hannahbahorski]

I can definitely understand your frustration. The poem jumps from subject to subject, making it very hard to follow along. But In a way, I think it connects to how real life is. I got the vibe that the author was almost people watching and explaining what they saw. When you look at someone, you only know so much. The sentences are unfinished because the author doesn’t know the whole story. But I really like the part where is says, “ so many unread stories” because it is so true. There are so many people you might pass on the street daily and all you know is what you see. You don’t know their whole story. But, the last stanza makes absolutely no sense to me so I would need some help to analyze that. I can also agree that I like your poet’s, Francisco, style of writing and clarity more than this authors. Not to say it isn’t good, it’s just not the type of poetry that I enjoy the most. I wonder if the author has any comments or explanations about the last stanza?

[hannahbahorski]

Cheat Poet

Mady Sowell, I got your poet! When I first looked at the book, I was majorly confused on which way was up. After eventually figuring it out, I took a peak inside. Not knowing what to look for, I honestly just picked a poem that looked good enough. And this poem really pulled me in. In just the first few lines of the poem, I had an idea of what was going on. The pain of both the author and the friend they are writing about is so clear. The line that says “swallowing needles” immediately got to me. Is it more literal in the sense of needles that someone would do drugs with? Or are the needles they are swallowing deeper than that. It reminded me of the metaphor to “swallow a tough pill”. The image of them sitting next to each other in dark static makes me think depression. The static to me means there is something wrong and some wires aren’t connected right. Kind of like when you are depressed. They then tell a story of a boy hurting himself on a merry-go-round. At first I didn’t get the significance. But I think it’s about loosing your childhood. She says that she is surprised we all lived past childhood but the thing is we didn’t. Our childhood died when we let ourselves get hurt, the author talks about her friends hollow eyes. This takes me back to the needles and makes me think it is about drugs. Not only do the drugs make your eyes sink in and you look hollow, but it also destroys parts of your brain. The author dealt with a situation harder than most teenagers ever have to deal with. She only continued to loose her childhood. She tells us that the only thing she thinks about more than the night her friend started to hurt herself, is the fact that as children we are to busy being children that we forgot to hold onto our happiness. The author is using the example of her friend who probably lost her way in drugs to show how easy it is to loose your child-like happiness and innocence. I can relate to seeing people completely change who they are because of drug addictions. In this world, it is way to common for high school students to have easy access to drugs. An image that captures this poem is the silhouette of the girl breaking a part. She is there, but barely. She is loosing parts of herself to darkness. Depression and addiction is real; everyone needs help. The poet happened to be the support for her friend who is obviously struggling. She gives us a perspective of how it feels to love someone who is hurting. 

suicide hotline - 1-800-273-8255

[hannahbahorski]

Like all poems in this book, there are no titles for each poem. But I really wish there was. I wish that each poem could have that small summarization given to it by the author. With this poem, I want to know how Poindexter would have summarized it. What’s the most important part? The emphasis on sound? The references to nature or the part about love at the end. As the reader, the part that stuck with me the most was the very end where he says he would be “happy to die right here in the arms of the Earth.” It gave me a feeling of envy. I wish that I could have that sense of peace with myself and the world. I wonder if that was what the author wanted me to hold on to or if it was the description of sounds. His two examples of church bells and a saxaphone confuse me to be honest. Why those two things? To me, they don’t have any relation. I wonder why that was two so I ss the author found important. It makes me wonder if the author is religious or not. Another part that really stuck out to me was when he says “my throne of observation.” I think it is such an accurate metaphor for how he sees the world as a writer and how he writes about it. At the same time, I wonder why he metaphorically puts himself on a throne.

When I was reading this, I started to think of sounds that make me feel connected to the earth and at peace. My favorite sound is rain. Or really any water sounds like waves or moving water. The clearness of water is so pretty and innocent to me and the way it makes sound even though it isn’t alive is just so beautiful. Hearing rain makes me so happy and calm which is what I think Poindexter was trying to describe.

[heblamesme]

This poem is very direct. The title doesn’t need much interpretation because it is what it says. As I read the first stanza of the poem I immediately thought about “Mirrors” by Slyvia Plath. In the the poem, she refers to the mirror as a “little god” and in this poem Francisco refers to his depression as a jealous god. These techinques are identified as metaphors. His use of metaphors is great throughout the poem. This poem gave me a diary type vibe because he uses “I want to say” serval times as a transition to connect the poem entirely. This goes back to the title. When people ask him how he’s doing he wants to say these things which are the truth but instead he tell them lies which is admited at the end of the poem. His breaks within in the text make your mind wonder whether it’s there to create rhythm or not. Also, He lacks usage of commas which also bring up the thought of rhythm. Fransico makes note that “sadness is the only clean shirt he has left” and that his washing machine has been broken for some months, giving us a more clear perspective of his feelings and the duration of them. He is not himself and he’s struggling to get up everyday. He doesn’t want anyone to know so he pretends he’s okay. Which is basically the message of this photo:

He acts as is he is a pumpkin and carves this image of himself so that others can believe it’s true/real. Which makes me think how opposite both poems are because the woman in mirrors has literally brainwashed herself to think her reflection is who she is and he is forcing others to see a different image although he know what the real image of himself looks like. I’ve have put fake smiles on my face plenty of times because the things that I was going through weren’t easy to talk about and I felt no one would understand or bottom line that I just didn’t want anyone to know my business. Sometimes the things we decided to do can either make or break us. It’s not good to pretend like everything is okay all the time but also it’s not good to persuade our selves to think the worst because we’re insecure.

(391)

[hannahbahorski]

I think your connection from “mirror” to this poem is spot on. The use of god as a metaphor in both scenarios represents how a reflection and depression both have overwhelming amounts of power over people. Francisco is very direct about the message and how he feels. While reading it, it gave me an “inner dialogue” kind of vibe. Sort of like how you said it sounded like a diary entry. This poem is the cold hard truth about depression that is too hard to tell people so you hold it in. His use of “I want to say” repetitively shows you that he dosent open up to many people about this and the fact that we are reading how he feels makes the reader feel a sense of trust with the author. I hope that for everyone who reads this poem can use it as encouragement to share how they feel with other people .

[heblamesme]

Poetry Close Read 1

“Vanish” By Rudy Francisco

I decided to analyze this poem with the TPCASTT method, and also the experience, analysis, and extension method. What I interpreted from the title at first in the TPCASTT method was that something or someone was going to vanish. I came to the conclusion that vanish meant that he and the reader (if relatable) would both have a part in a disappearance. Whether they felt it from his perspective or the guilt of the second side of the story. Sometimes people push you away as a test to see how much you care about them but also sometimes others are selfish and thinking only of their feelings. Rudy uses realism by speaking from his lived experience/persective because he uses words like we, us and they which separates him from the people of topic. In the poem, Rudy states that “they will ask where you went, if you will come back and why you gave up so easily as if the didn’t own the voice they requested your disappearance”, how I paraphrased was people push you away and then get upset because you respect there wishes. In my life I have experienced this many times. I’ve also done the pushing. He also uses words/phrases like get rid, disappearance, solitude, and absence to add context and emotion to the message of the poem. Not only does he use words but specific breaks in the text which forms a rhythm which I think is meant to help us digest each piece of the poem. These elements all tie togather including the connections he makes using words (instructions vs. request/ disappearance vs. absence). It shows that the overall theme is people don’t realize that your voice is powerful and that a lot of time in the heat of the moment when can say or do things we don’t mean which results badly because some people will follow your instructions and never think twice about it.

This poem kind of reminds me of this song because in it Normani is confused on how she feels about her companion. Its a theme of confusion and sometimes she says things and she doesn’t know if she really means them. She uses the word “waves” to describe her feelings for him (up and down).

This song also shows how the poem can relate to his person life, maybe he’s talking about the bond (love) within relationships and friendships and how easily they can be damage. Not everyone is going to kiss your ass.

[hannahbahorski]

I totally get what you are saying about a person vanishing from someone else’s life. I almost wonder if the poem is referring to a relationship or metaphorical “bridge” and has vanished and can’t be rebuilt I can also relate to this topic. Which is what makes the poem so good, so many people and pull similarities to their life. Even the title is up to interpretation. Also, I think the song perfectly fits the vibe of ur poem. It’s almost as if the writer or singer doesn’t know what they want but they know they are hurt. It’s also a really good song In general. I wonder what event in Francisco’s like prompted him to write this. Are there other poems that sounds like they refer to the same event?? Really good poem.

[hannahbahorski]

Poetry close read 1

The thing they are not telling us

is that every minute of every day

we have a choice,

a daring, darling choice

to be the human we wish to be,

to do the things we have always

wanted to do,

to create the art that aches inside us,

every day, a choice. 

I hope today, 

as the sun rises from it’s temporary tomb,

we chose to love beyond measure,

without the hollow heat of labels,

without judgement, without selfishness,

without pause.

It is in love we find ourselves

staring back at us, a noble grin, realizing all that we could be

and all that we are.

And my god, are we beautiful. 

- Christopher Poindexter, “Old Soul Love”

My very first thought about this poem is that it is way too idealistic or positive for my taste. My brain automatically went to my realistic views. Making the right choice every day is interpretative and situational. You can’t always just go with your first instinct. Although I would like it to be, life isn’t that simple. But then I remembered, this is poetry. Not everything has to make sense. who am I to attack someone’s vulnerable thoughts that they chose to share with me. Poindexter doesn’t claim that this is an easy thing to do as a society. He says “ I hope today ... we chose to live beyond measure.” Poindexter shares that this loving world is a hope of his. He obviously feels that there is someone or something holding him back from being his true kind self. He says “they” but never specifies who. The truth is, “they” is different for everyone. He also pulls out the fact that we are human. He doesn’t say people he says human. Why? What about being a human gives us a special responsibility to protect each other? Thematically, Poindexter puts out this huge philosophy to tackle but at the same time, narrows it down to be specific to you and everyone what reads it. 

Aside from the theme, my favorite part of the poem is how Poindexter uses alliteration. To me, it gives it this special kind of flow. It goes together like a song but the repetition of a sound also gives it a “beat” to me if that makes sense. Although at first glance, I had a bitter view on this optimistic poem, looking deeper into it, I realize it’s not supposed to be an aggressive attack on society. It is just a hopeful dream Poindexter chose to share with us. Most importantly, it is up to the reader to decide what in their life is holding them back and what they need to change. 

So this song reminds me of the poem because all I can think when I listen to this poem is to pull myself out of society and the way it’s holding me down and be my best self. Kind of like what Poindexter is trying to get at. All you can be is your best self.

[heblamesme]

Meet My Mentor Poet:

I introduce you to Rudy Francisco. Rudy has been one of my favorite African American poets for a couple of years now. I love the way he delivers his poems and the tone he uses to deliver them. As I was scrolling down the list of poets, I didn’t really see anyone I knew, so I looked at the links provided and I chose 3 mentor poets. The 3 I chose were Elizabeth Acevado, Ari Banias and Adam Fitzgerald. I chose Elizabeth and Ari because the topics they wrote about interested me. For example, being a woman and not knowing what you want in life. Relatable. The reason I chose Adam is dumb... I just thought he was very handsome😂 After I looked at them I continued to look down the list and I seem Rudy and literally screamed. I threw the other right to the side and chose him because he’s one of the greatest poets in my eyes. He talks about real things that are happening in the world and he has no limit. He is not easily silenced.

“When you choose to be a poet,

when you choose to spill like this,

bleed like this, cry like this,

your pain becomes an exhibit.

A place for people to walk through

and then leave when they are ready.

No one ever asks a museum if it’s okay”.

-Rudy Francisco, Museum

[hannahbahorski]

I definitely agree that sir Rudy is quite handsome ;) I wonder what his poems will be all about. Possibly something about racism? What is the tone you are talking about? I am getting a strong yet very intelligent andput together tone. Sounds like something I would also like. I’m excited to see what you pull from his poems!!

[hannahbahorski]

My Mentor Poet - Christopher Poindexter

I had a hard time finding a poet. That was mostly my fault because I didn’t fully read the assignment that your poet had to be ALIVE. What I wanted from my poet was simple. I literally just wanted to read something that made me feel something. The list of living poets I was given came off as very intimidating because there were just so many poets. So, I took my own route and simply googled up and coming poets. Which, is where I stumbled upon my good friend Christopher. Christopher Poindexter is a Florida based poet who started writing poetry on a impromptu teenage getaway to California. He describes himself as  an “observer” which i thought was very fitting for the observation activities we do in class . The first poem I read of his I didn’t actually read. I listened to him read it to me on Youtube. This is what he read to me - 

My grandmother

and grandfather

had the old soul love.

It was truly your hand in mine,

until the end of time. 

I watched her hug him, 

her aging arms

wrapped around his

barley breathing body as

he took his last breaths.

“Goodbye, Jack,

I’ll never forget you.” 

I still find myself broken up

about that moment.

I wear his cologne

out every\where I go.

I like to think I am

keeping him alive

a little longer for Grandma

in this way,

ordering his favorite tequila,

embodying

his gritty charisma.

I aim for this love.

It’s somewhere out there,

and I know it.

I am the small

and quiet army

of hopeful romantics. 

The holding hands, 

deathbed kind of love. 

-Christopher Poindexter, Old Soul Love

This poem really just got me because it reminds me of my grandparents who have been together for like 55 years and are at a point where they are just holding on to each other with everything they have. It is a sad thing to relate to but it’s also hopeful to read a poem that doesn't really dwell on the sad part but makes it a kind of encouraging message to live and love wholehearted. Christopher’s poems so far give me the warm and fuzzy feelings along with that sense of longing for a love as strong as he writes about. I think I will able to read and write about these poems very enjoyably. 

[hannahbahorski]

This picture reminds me of the analogy Gay uses. Showing that everyone needs different things to be equal.

Google Image Result for http://i2.wp.com/interactioninstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/IISC_EqualityEquity.png?zoom=2&resize=730%2C547

[hannahbahorski]

So this story that Gay tells is so much more than a story. She says it herself, if is an analogy for life. That one person is not more or less important then another. In this analogy, the view. Even if there is a majority fighting against another. I think it’s really cool how she can look at a person being discriminated in a different way than herself and respect them.

[hannahbahorski]

This interview was so interesting to me. Actually seeing Roxane Gay and hearing her speak makes her story so much more real. The most interesting part to me was in the very beginning when she says “I wrote this book because I didn’t want to.” The way she recognizes that is intriguing. Why do that to yourself? But it makes sense. She knew to help herself heal she needed to expose her wounds.

[hannahbahorski]

On the right, is a passage from Hunger. In the second to last and last paragraph, Gay talks about how as a fat woman, she never felt that she deserved to be loved emotionally or sexually. The way she writes, reminds me of inner dialogue . Or the metaphor of the angle on one shoulder and the angel on the other. But in this case, Gay is only hearing the devil. Convincing her that her size means she is not enough to be loved. It reminded me of this little blog post I read from a social influencer, Dani Adriana. Adriana touches on the idea that no one deserves to settle, and there are plenty of people out there that are attracted to fat people. That it’s your right to be attracted so someone and it is not a fetish. To me, this sounded like the angel side. Speaking the truth and love. Something Gay needed at this point in her life.

[ok-tori]

This is a paragraph taken from a New York Times article titled “Restoring The Traditional Black Family”, it actually explains the separation of black families through the years in an accurate and specific way. I wanted to research what happened to black families throughout the years because in the book asante and his gang was out til the crack of dawn, respecting their mothers, and flipping off their fathers and back then that would never happen. Black families were always seen as a united front with an unbreakable bond, now they’re broken from prison sentences and greed as the article states in numerous parts.

[hannahbahorski]

I feel like this is a different version of a poverty cycle. But instead of the corrupt cycle of being in poverty, it’s a cycle that breaks a part families. The two corrupt cycles are probably highly linked. Both the prison cycle and poverty cycle are unfairly geared towards targeting people of color. It’s not fair that the actions of past generations are inevitably carried into others.!