I have to read revelation for a class im taking in grad school. this is the first time Iāve read revelation since I left the church, and the first time i'm reading it in as "secular" context.
this book was heavy for me, and sticky. i obsessed over it as a child. i feared it. i remember once, I was probably around ten years old, I decided iād look my fear in the face and read it. i remember how loud my heart pounded as I received the prophecy of what was to come, probably in my future (after all, the world was supposed to end in my lifetime, at least from multiple sources including family members, my church, and the christian media I consumed).
so i said to myself, i might as well read it so I will know exactly what to expect. i was surprised to find that there was no mention of the rapture. lots of monsters and natural disasters, yes, but I couldnāt really get the timeline straight. basically, all I wanted to know was if i would have to live through the disasters described in revelation, or if Iād be spared because God would pull me into heaven before it began. i didnāt get a clear answer.
funny, I feel the same sense of dread as i read revelation now, even though I have so much more information than I did when I was ten. the pit in my stomach, the rumbling in my guts, and the vague nausea. the bodyās a bit slower than the mind to realize it is safe, i suppose.
