Agent Melinda May @hapamyheart - Tumblr Blog

Good morning, I miss 2ne1

I just logged in to rant sadly.

I know tumblr isn’t the place it used to be, where there was a lot of moral and emotional support between blogs, and you could post a rant and someone was always there to care. I guess, in a way, I miss that.

I’m very sad, and I don’t have anyone who cares. Or, who can help, really. I went to therapy to maybe get counseling for this, and instead the therapist shoe horned me into a group therapy session, which would not and could not help, because I’m not about to sit in a group of people and tell them that I feel ugly and unloveable, because none of them can help me. And, part of the reason I believe that is because I believe I have no right to feel ugly and unlovable. Like, on some level, I believe that I’m pretty, I guess. But I think that mostly stems from being thin, and having hazel eyes and light skin. Like, every time I’ve expressed insecurity to a friend, they have always almost been angry with me for suggesting that something is wrong with my appearance, not like “No, honey, you’re beautiful!” but like “Stop pretending you think you’re ugly, bitch.” As if I’m fishing for compliments or something.

And I realize my self-perception should NOT be in whether or not someone finds me hot, sexy, or beautiful in terms of wanting to date me.

But, I guess, here I am in my mid-20s, and I have not dated.

No, hear me: I HAVE NOT DATED. I had a boyfriend when I was 19. That was the last time I dated or anything, really. I think I went on a couple of dates when I was around 21.

So, obviously something is wrong with me. I used to think maybe I WAS pretty, but just intimidating, so no guys asked me out for that reason... (And listen, I’m bisexual so I would be open to girls, but I imagine that girls kind of proceed with caution with other girls, anyway. IDK that that’s true. And, also, I think this is some sort of pathology, like, unconsciously, I want guys to want me?)

But after years, and years, and yearrrrrs of NO GUYS ASKING ME OUT (well, besides those “yell at you on the street” types) I’m like actually wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. Like, everyone is getting married, now. Everyone has husbands and babies and what not. I’m just some ugly thing that nobody wants.

When I was a kid, I thought I’d be married by 25. Too late.

Also, the longer it takes, the weirder and harder dating is going to be, for me. I’m not pretty enough- like, I look 12 (well, okay, maybe 15.) So, standing next to a woman my age, I look like her baby sister. No non-pedo man is gung-ho to have me. I also have a wide nose and a big-ass forehead. IDK. And I don’t know how to be sexy. Like, I’m an actor, and even when I’m acting, if a director asks me to kind of be sexy and flirt with a guy in a scene, I don’t?? know?? what I’m doing??? And they’re like “No, be sexy!” and I’m like “?????” and they’re like “Flirt, like, how you flirt with a guy you like!” and I’m like “???? :) ???”

So, yeah, imagine me with a real man. It goes about like that. Like, okay, I’m a grown adult woman, yeah? So, there’s this guy I sorta liked. Like? I dunno. And, like, the whole time we were around each other constantly because of a show we were both working on, I was like awkwardly chatting with him, and like goofily giggling, and just being a straight up 12-year-old. And! I honestly think he was sort of into me? But, like, I don’t understand how to be a woman, and flirt and not be weird? Long story short, he has a girlfriend now. Like, sort of looks like a hotter version of me, like actually symmetrical features, long, styled hair, looks about 24, like ACTUALLY 24 and not 12 as fuck like me.

And, like... I’m just shitty. Like, I don’t have prospects. I’m ugly and lame and kind of weird, too. I embraced being nerdy and liking nerdy things, because the internet made it cool, but IRL I’m that weird chick that likes Marvel.

Like, I try and try and try to keep my head up and think shit like “there are other fish in the sea” and “I’ll find someone someday.” But I don’t think it’s true. Anymore. I think I’m ugly and weird. And nobody wants to be with me, because why would you? I really feel that I have nothing to offer anyone except my looks and those aren’t great.

thingstolovefor

“A woman was standing calmly, her long dress the only thing moving in the breeze, as two police officers in full riot gear confronted her in the middle of a roadway to arrest her. She had no facial expression at all. She just stood there.” ~ Jonathan Bachman, photographer

arrest-my-skin

I only saw that one still before… This progression is so much more powerful.

swiftyyy

They look so foolish in this full riot gear.

Potential Rapist: Guillermo Heredia

Lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Ladies and men alike, please beware. Spends time online harassing rape victims and making rape jokes, especially about male rape victims.

Goes by willprogresivo and samus88 online.

#rapist #rape #warning #buenos aires #argentina #guillermo heredia #willprogresivo #samus88

dangercupcaake

“It’s crazy how intelligent kids can be at a very young age and how they know what they know. I came out of the womb drawing on everything; I used to draw on my mother’s white furniture and her white walls with her red lipstick and my pencils.” -Aldis Hodge for Interview Magazine, 2016 [x]

irdefka

linrenzo

BITCH OK…. First of all

ultr4viol3tnim

Yes.

the-rashad-chronicles-deactivat

Miss Jackson if ya nasty!

onlyblackgirl

Just take all my edges.

joessence

She ain’t have to do me like that 😭

#ok

starfishandcoffee

If I was your girlfriend.

K, so...

Y’all know I’m not the strictest of Winner fans. Honestly, I’m only a little into them, and I’ve done my fair share of criticizing their fans (the band itself doesn’t need much criticism. They’re really good, better than most K-pop groups.)

But whenever people come for them, for some reason, I feel the need to attack. Honestly, they’re such good people and they work so hard and have created a style that’s pretty much unique to them. Sure, i think they’re a lot like BIGBANG in some ways, but it’s less of a “clone” situation, and more of a “reminds me of them” thing. Like, the good things about BIGBANG. Like the fact that each member brings something different to the table. Or the fact that they share things in common with my BB members. Winner aren’t a BIGBANG clone. They’re more like what they really are: a younger sibling. The things they share in common are because they’re from the same family.

So, imagine my rage when I had to look at some dumbass Armys dare to suggest that Winner copied BTS. Look, I don’t hate BTS. In fact, I’ve enjoyed some of their songs. They’re a good boy band... they have some interesting members. Worth liking.

But Winner copy BTS?

No shade, but BTS is one of the many groups that studies BIGBANG so hard they all but perform covers. A lot of their styles, a lot of the things they do, BIGBANG did before, and probably innovated, at least in K-pop. Nothing is new, sure, but many of the looks, sounds, clothing styles, etc, that you see in K-pop today, BIGBANG did first.

So, how can Winner have been copying BTS? I looked at the videos in question; Winners teaser and BTS’s Run.

Come on. COME ON.

If you’re going to say Winner copied BTS< you gotta admit that BTS took that style from BIGBANG.

Furthermore, Winner’s MV isn’t at all very copied. In fact, it’s a concept that seems pretty unique to Winner. The closest thing to another group is that their clothing styles and hair styles remind me of their big brothers, BIGBANG. But that’s it. And that’s not even a bad thing- they don’t look like clones. They look like they have similar tastes to BIGBANG. The video reads as if this is Winner’s concept.

Honestly, you can tell. You can tell when a group has been given a concept to perform, and when that group has come up with a concept that they feel represents them and their project. Winner’s video looks like it represents them. It looks authentic.

And I am so annoyed and sort of pissed off that some random ass group of fans could dare to come for these boys, with some obvious BS, when they’ve worked so hard to create something that represents them.

Winner are well on their way to becoming an iconic group, and by their own merits alone.

I am not saying BTS doesn’t work hard or doesn’t try to be creative.

But I am going to go ahead and be honest and say that they are not on Winner’s level. Winner is rare, in K-pop. They’re a group that is fighting for their spot, using nothing but their own merits. They are not even a typical YG group (although they definitely feel like YG family.)

Anyway, don’t step to Winner over some BS. Let them boys shine. Nobody copied your lower-level faves. Honestly. I really don’t want to be mean, but nothing about Winner suggests they would bother to copy anything from BTS.

I’m alive. Yay?

pearfacts

…………………………..

orange-catsidy

the tables have turned

#lol i remember this

d3dans

OK IDK IF ANYONE KNOWS THIS OR NOT BUT Y’ALL KNOW ABOUT THE SPAM BOTS, RIGHT?

YKNOW

These things littering the tags right now?? There’s a way to get rid of most of them (if not all)

see that?

Slap that shit to your xkit’s blacklist extension and it blocks all the spam bots with goo.gl links in the tags

Please signal boost in case ppl don’t know about this

b/c there are some really nasty photo’s being posted and untagged in popular tumblr tags and I highly doubt staff is going to do anything about this

nightlustrous

THANK

m1chon-deactivated20161022

Sneezing After I Wash My Hair

Hey, I was wondering does this happen to anyone else? I’ve started sneezing and I get a runny nose every time after I wash my hair. I wonder if it has something to do with the amount of time that I’m in the shower or if I could be allergic to a certain product. It’s very annoying and the runny nose can last up to two days :(

hapamyheart

I've noticed this, as well. Any ideas?

shoutingouttotheworld

I really hate that more people don’t know about how CL saved Dara during an earthquake. They were in Japan when the earthquake hit and Dara was on the 34th floor and was terrified. She couldn’t move out of fear so she called CL. I can’t find a translated video of it but here are pictures and gifs of them talking about it:

Even after that Dara was so freaked out she couldn’t sleep. She was afraid another earthquake would happen or aftershocks so she literately tied herself and CL together