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@happyfeet2008
I post random crap here. Ask me anything. I'm 17-years-old, Filipina, ADHD, aroace, born on December 10, 2008 and a dog lover. Also big fan of "Journey to the West".
Do you think Li Jing and Erlang Shen were being assholes?
Yes
No
The air in the Jade Court was frigid, but it was not the celestial mist — it was the tension. Seven months had passed since the Song Dynasty began its earthly reign and in that time, a new golden light had appeared on Flower Fruit Mountain: Sun Taiyang.
Li Jing stood at the center of the hall, his Pagoda gleaming with a cold, metallic light. Beside him, Erlang Shen remained stoic, his third eye flickering with a judgmental spark.
Li Jing: "The child is a stone-born anomaly merged with shadow. We saw what the father did to the Pillars of Heaven. To allow a second Great Sage to grow — one with the combined power of the Macaque — is to invite a second Havoc. We must...extinguish the spark before it becomes a forest fire."
Li Nezha: (His grip tightening on his Fire-Tipped Spear until the metal groaned) "You mean murder him. Say the word, Father. You want to kill an infant."
The Third Lotus Prince’s eyes were blown wide, his breathing shallow. The suggestion had triggered a jagged, red-hot memory: the shadow of the Pagoda looming over him, the feeling of his own father’s blade, the cold rejection of his own flesh and blood.
Li Nezha: (Voice trembling with rage) "If you so much as look toward Flower Fruit Mountain with a weapon in your hand, I will tear that Pagoda from your grip and bury you under it. I am not that helpless babe anymore and Wukong is not a monk who will preach mercy to you."
Chang’e: (Gasped, clutching her robes) "He is seven months old! He has done nothing but sleep and breathe!"
Laozi: (Shaking his head in disgust) "I helped the parents of that boy learn of him. I felt his spirit. He is a marvel of the cosmos, not a weapon for you to fear, Pagoda Bearer."
The atmosphere shifted. The light in the room turned a blinding, heavy gold. The Great Buddha appeared, flanked by a stern Guanyin. The Bodhisattva’s usual serenity was replaced by a sharp, cutting disappointment.
Guanyin: "Li Jing. Erlang Shen. You speak of 'order' while plotting the slaughter of innocence. You have forgotten that the Great Sage walked the path of the Sutras. To strike his son is to strike the path itself."
The Buddha: (His voice did not rise, but the floor of the Heavens vibrated with the weight of his words) "Generals. You believe power gives you the right to dictate fate."
The Buddha leaned forward, his eyes like twin suns.
The Buddha: "Let me be clear. If either of you sets foot upon the mountain with ill intent toward Sun Taiyang, I shall not imprison you under a mountain. I shall strip the divinity from your bones and turn you into caecilians — blind, limbless creatures of the mud, destined to squirm in the dark for ten thousand kalpas. Do I make myself understood?"
The silence that followed was absolute. Li Jing turned pale, his hand trembling against his Pagoda. Erlang Shen bowed his head, the third eye snapping shut in submission.
Millions of miles below, far from the threats of kings and gods, the Water Curtain Cave was silent save for the sound of the waterfall.
The bed was a chaotic nest of silk sheets and soft fur. Sun Wukong lay on his side, his tail draped protectively over a small, golden-furred bundle in the center. Little Taiyang was fast asleep, his tiny peach-shaped birthmark twitching as he dreamed, his hand curled tightly around Wukong’s thumb.
On the other side, Liu’er Mihou was curled around them both, his six ears relaxed for the first time in days. One of his shadows flickered playfully near the baby’s feet, tucking the blanket closer.
Wukong let out a soft, huffing snore, shifting closer to Liu’er. They were blissfully unaware that the Heavens had almost declared war on their peace — and even more unaware that their son was currently being guarded by the literal word of the Buddha.
In the quiet of the mountain, Taiyang let out a tiny, contented chirp, safe between the two strongest beings he would ever know.
The small, cozy hut on Flower Fruit Mountain was filled with the familiar, chaotic energy of the pilgrims. Plates of half-eaten fruit and steam-clouded tea cups cluttered the table. Wukong sat at the head, looking slightly green around the gills, while Liu’er Mihou stood behind him, hands resting protectively on Wukong's shoulders.
The silence lasted exactly three seconds after the announcement.
Tripitaka, Zhu Bajie, Sha Wujing and Ao Lie: (In a deafening, unified roar that shook the thatched roof) "YOU’RE WHAT?!"
Zhu Bajie: (Points a greasy finger at Wukong’s midsection) "But- but I thought you were just hitting the peach wine and the steamed buns too hard! I literally told Wujing yesterday, 'Look at the Great Sage, finally letting himself go, getting a little soft in the middle!'"
Sha Wujing: (Nodding frantically, eyes wide as dinner plates) "I thought it was a bloating curse! I was looking up herbal teas for indigestion!"
Ao Lie: (In his human form, leaning forward in pure shock) "Wukong...we know you're...you know, you...but a whole child? A biological heir? I didn't think the Heavens allowed stone monkeys to be that fertile!"
Sun Wukong: (Holding up a hand, looking increasingly pale) "Look, it’s a long story involving Laozi, a lot of celestial energy, and apparently Liu’er’s shadow-magic being way more...effective...than we anticipated. It’s a boy. We’re having a-."
Wukong stopped mid-sentence. His golden fur bristled, his cheeks puffed out and he bolted from his chair with a speed that blurred the air. He scrambled out the front door and a second later, the distinct, miserable sound of the Great Sage losing his breakfast echoed from the bushes.
Liu’er Mihou: (Winced, his six ears twitching painfully at the sound) "The morning sickness is...persistent. He’s been eating for three people and then seeing it all again ten minutes later."
Zhu Bajie: (Leaning back, a wicked, lopsided grin spreading across his snout as he nudged Liu’er with his elbow) "Well, well, Shadow Meat. I guess you two really did it, huh? I mean, I knew you guys were 'meditating' in the cave, but to actually go and-."
WHACK.
Tripitaka’s hand moved with the speed of a divine strike, his palm connecting squarely with the back of Bajie’s head.
Tripitaka: (His face a mask of serene, holy indignation) "Bajie! Have you no shame? We are discussing a miracle of life, a new soul entering this world and you choose to be a gutter-dwelling swine!"
Zhu Bajie: (Rubbing his head, whining) "Ow! Master! I'm just stating the obvious! You don't get a baby from just holding hands!"
Sha Wujing: (Ignoring them, looking toward the door with concern) "Is he going to be okay? I've never seen the Great Sage look so...fragile."
Liu’er Mihou: (Sighing, looking toward the door where Wukong was currently grumbling curses at a flower bed) "He’s the strongest person I know, Wujing. But apparently, a tiny monkey-spirit is the only thing capable of knocking the Monkey King off his feet. He’s scared. I’m terrified. But..." (he looked down at his own hands) "...he’s going to be a Sun. We’re going to make sure of it."
Ao Lie: (Softly) "A Sun. I like that. The dynasty is about to get a lot brighter — and a lot louder."
The scent of burning sandalwood and ancient cosmic dust always made Wukong’s nose twitch, but today, it was making his entire stomach do somersaults.
They were in the Tushita Palace, the realm of the Great Supreme Elder, Laozi. Wukong sat perched on the edge of a mahogany bench, looking uncharacteristically pale beneath his golden fur, while Liu’er Mihou paced the floor, his six ears fanned out and trembling with every minor sound of a bubbling cauldron.
Liu’er Mihou: (Stopping his pacing to press a hand to Wukong’s forehead) "You’re cold. Or you’re hot. I can’t tell, my hands are shaking. Wukong, if that ‘immortal’ peach you ate three centuries ago was actually fermented, I am going to lose my mind."
Sun Wukong: (Groaning, leaning his head against Liu'er’s hip) "It’s not the peach, Liu. I feel like I’ve swallowed a mountain and the mountain is trying to kick its way out. Maybe I’m just...evolving? Again?"
Laozi: (Stepping out from behind a massive bronze brazier, stroking his long white beard with an expression that was halfway between clinical fascination and sheer disbelief) "Not evolving, Great Sage. And certainly not poisoned."
Liu’er Mihou: (Snarling slightly, protective instincts flaring) "Then what? He hasn't been able to look at a bowl of noodles for a week without turning green. If the Heavens are trying to curse him again-."
Laozi: (Raising a hand) "Peace, Shadow Macaque. It is no curse. I have checked the pulses of the cosmos and the flow of his golden core. It seems your union has...manifested a new life. Wukong, you are carrying a child."
The silence that followed was absolute. Even the celestial fires in the furnaces seemed to freeze.
Sun Wukong: (Blinking slowly, his jaw dropping) "I'm...I'm what?"
Liu’er Mihou: (Frozen mid-step, his ears pinned flat against his head) "A child. Like...a small, screaming monkey? Inside him? Right now?"
Laozi: (Nodding calmly) "A boy, by the strength of the spirit I sense. It is a rare occurrence for those born of stone and shadow, but it seems your Journey to the West changed more than just your titles. Your body has adapted to the desire of your heart."
Sun Wukong: (Looking down at his stomach, his hands trembling as he hovered them over his midsection) "A boy. A son? But I’m...I mean, I’m me. I’m the Great Sage. I’m-" (he lets out a shaky, breathless laugh) "I'm going to be a Baba?"
Liu’er Mihou: (Finally moving, he drops to his knees in front of Wukong, his hands covering Wukong’s on his stomach) "A son. Our son." (He looks up at Wukong, his eyes wide with a mix of terror and adoration) "Wukong, we can't even keep the mountain spirits from setting the forest on fire. How are we supposed to-."
Sun Wukong: (Grinning through the shock, his eyes shimmering) "We’ll teach him to set better fires, Liu. Higher ones."
Liu’er Mihou: (Burying his face in Wukong’s lap, his voice muffled) "We are so doomed. He’s going to be just like you. I can hear his heartbeat already...it’s fast. Like a little drum."
Sun Wukong: (Softly, stroking Liu'er's ears) "He’s a little Sun, Liu’er. Our little Sun."
Laozi: (Clearing his throat, ruining the moment) "I suggest you start by not letting him eat the charcoal. It’s a very potent spirit. Now, out. I have pills to concoct and a headache forming."
The chaos in the nursery had finally subsided. Sun Wukong had returned to the master bed, looking like he just finished a three-day duel with Erlang Shen. He collapsed onto the covers, staring blankly at the stone ceiling.
Sun Wukong: (A breathless whisper) "They’re down. Xingxing finally stopped trying to eat my tail. And for the record, that boy has a grip like a titan. He’s definitely yours."
Liu’er Mihou: (Sliding closer, his voice dropping into a smooth, hopeful purr) "Finally. The silence is deafening...and actually quite romantic, don't you think?"
Sun Wukong: (Stiffening) "Don't."
Liu’er Mihou: (Tracing a finger along Wukong’s shoulder) "Don't what? We’re finally alone. No crying, no flying peaches, no diaper changes. Just the two of us."
Sun Wukong: (Rolling away aggressively) "Liu’er, I am serious. The "factory" is closed. Bolted shut. Guarded by the Four Heavenly Kings. We are not having sex. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not until the Song Dynasty falls."
Liu’er Mihou: (Dismayed, sitting up) "What?! Wukong, we haven't even had a proper "celebration" since Xingxing was born! That was twelve months ago! I’ve been a monk — literally!"
Sun Wukong: (Sitting up, eyes blazing) "And look what happened the last three times we "celebrated"! I ended up with a literal person inside me for nine months! Do you have any idea how heavy a celestial monkey baby gets? My back still clicks when I sneeze!"
Liu’er Mihou: "But we can be careful! I can—"
Sun Wukong: "No! Remember Taiyang? Eight months in and he decided he wanted out right then. I nearly bled out on this very bed and you were crying so hard I thought the mountain was going to flood! I am not doing that again. I am not risking it. I like being alive and I like not being a human incubator."
Liu’er Mihou: (Pouting) "But that was a fluke! You’re the Great Sage! You’re indestructible!"
Sun Wukong: "My ego is indestructible, Liu’er. My internal organs are apparently very susceptible to being kicked from the inside by a premature cub! No. More. Babies."
Suddenly, a flicker of movement occured in the corner of the room. A shadowy, translucent figure — a perfect copy of Liu'er — materialized from the floorboards. It crept towards the bed with a mischievous grin.
Sun Wukong: (Eyes narrowing) "Liu’er... what is your shadow doing?"
Liu’er Mihou: (Whistling innocently) "I don’t know. Shadows have a mind of their own sometimes. Very temperamental."
The Shadow Clone reached the edge of the bed and began to rhythmically rub its hand against Wukong’s thigh, inching suggestively toward his crotch.
Sun Wukong: (Looking down at the shadow, then back at Liu’er) "You are pathetic. You’re literally using a forbidden art to try and get a hand-job by proxy?"
Liu’er Mihou: (Desperate) "He’s just expressing what I’m feeling! He’s a manifestation of my...emotional neglect!"
Sun Wukong: (Summons his staff, Ruyi Jingu Bang, just an inch long and pokes the shadow hard in the chest) "Get lost, spooky!"
The shadow poofed into a cloud of dark smoke. Wukong turned back to Liu’er and pointed a finger at his nose.
Sun Wukong: "Go to sleep. If I feel so much as a stray tail hair touch me tonight, I’m sleeping in the waterfall. And I’m taking the good blankets with me."
Liu’er Mihou: (Flopping back onto the pillow with a dramatic groan) "Fine. But if I start seeing visions of the Buddha due to my forced celibacy, it’s on your head."
Sun Wukong: (Closing his eyes) "Good. Maybe he can teach you some self-control."
The year was 963 AD. The Song Dynasty was in its infancy, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven was in his "tired dad" era and the Water Curtain Cave currently smelled less like magical peaches and more like fermented peach purée and wet diapers.
Sun Wukong: (Face-down in a silk pillow, muffled) "Liu’er. The sirens are going off. Deal with them."
Liu’er Mihou: (Eyes clamped shut, pretending to be a statue) "I am a shadow. Shadows do not possess physical forms capable of lifting toddlers. I am one with the darkness."
Sun Wukong: (Bolting upright, hair a mess) "You have six ears, Liu'er! How are you even pretending you can’t hear this? Xingxing sounds like he’s trying to summon a demon and Yueliang is definitely using her super-strength to kick the bars out of the crib."
Liu’er Mihou: (Peeking one eye open) "I did the midnight shift. I remember because Taiyang tried to eat my scarf. It’s your turn, "Great Sage". Go use some of that 72 Transformations magic to turn into a person who isn't exhausted."
Sun Wukong: (Groaning as he swings his legs out of bed) "I birthed them! I literally grew them inside my own body! I think I’ve done enough heavy lifting for this millennium. My immortality didn't prepare me for the psychological warfare of a two-year-old."
Sun Taiyang (2-years-old): (From the nursery, screaming) "PAPA! PEACH! NOW!"
Liu’er Mihou: (Sighing, finally sitting up) "See? He’s calling for you. He knows you’re the soft one."
Sun Wukong: "He’s calling for a Papa. We are both Papas! That is the fundamental flaw in our parenting structure!"
Sun Xingxing (12-months-old): (A high-pitched, glass-shattering wail joins in)
Sun Wukong: (Rubbing his temples) "That’s it. That’s the signal. I’m retiring. I’m going back to the furnace. At least in the Eight Trigrams Furnace, it was quiet and I could get a tan."
Liu’er Mihou: (Pulling Wukong back by the tail) "Oh no, you don't. We’re in this together. Remember what we said when Yueliang was born? "A beautiful addition to our legacy"?"
Sun Wukong: (Hissing) "I was high on celestial herbs! I didn't know the "legacy" involved being a human chew toy! Three is the limit, Liu’er. No more. I am closing the shop. I am sealing the mountain. If I see one more diaper, I’m going to start another war with Heaven just so I can get some "me time" in a cold cell."
Liu’er Mihou: (Smirking despite the fatigue) "Agreed. Three kids is plenty for two immortal monkeys and a thousand-year-old mountain. Now, go. If you get Taiyang back to sleep, I’ll handle the babies."
Sun Wukong: (Standing up, cracking his back) "Fine. But if Taiyang asks for a bedtime story about the Journey to the West again, I’m telling him the version where Tripitaka gets eaten. Maybe then he’ll be too scared to wake us up."
Liu’er Mihou: "You’re a terrible influence."
Sun Wukong: (Walking toward the nursery) "I’m a tired influence. There’s a difference!"
Red Boy, now a sharp-tongued teenager clad in crimson silks, arrived at Flower Fruit Mountain expecting a quiet afternoon.
What he got was a three-headed disaster of chaotic proportions.
Red Boy: (Smoothing his hair, looking around the lush forest) "Uncle Wukong! I am here to deliver the—"
He did not finish. A golden blur (Taiyang) dropped from a branch above, landing perfectly on his feet. A dark shadow (Yueliang) flickered out from the bushes and a smaller, golden puffball (Xingxing) skipped out from behind a rock.
Sun Taiyang (10-years-old): (He crosses his arms, looking Red Boy up and down with a clinical, icy side eye) "So...this is the one who tried to cook Baba in a mountain? He’s smaller than I imagined. And his hair is...loud."
Sun Yueliang (9-years-old): (She cracks her knuckles, her six ears twitching. She delivers a criminal offensive side eye) "He looks like he’d pop like a balloon if I punched him. Can I punch him, Tai-ge? Just once?"
Sun Xingxing (8-years-old): (He holds a flower and smiles, but his side eye is the most unsettling of all) "Baba says you were a very naughty boy. Do you still play with matches, Cousin?"
Red Boy: (Backing away, his hair literally igniting in a small puff of indignant fire) "I—I am the Prince of Fire! I am not a 'naughty boy'! And who are you three pint-sized menaces?!"
Sun Taiyang: "We're the reason you're going to be very, very careful with your fire while you're on our mountain."
Red Boy: (Staring at the three of them — the leader, the fighter and the 'sweet' one — all judging him with the weight of a thousand suns. He looks up at the sky, his voice a strained whisper) "Is this it? Is this my true penance? Is the Bodhisattva watching this and laughing? I survived the journey, I survived the training...only to be bullied by Wukong's literal clones?"
Sun Yueliang: (Stepping closer, sniffing the air) "You smell like burnt toast. I don't like toast."
Red Boy: (Covering his face with his hands) "Uncle Wukong! Come get your children! They’re...they’re doing the eye thing again! It’s burning my soul!"
Sun Wukong: (Strolling out from the cave, munching on a peach) "Oh, hey Red! See you’ve met the welcoming committee. They’ve been practicing their 'Judgment of the Heavens' look. How do you think it’s coming along?"
Red Boy: "It’s horrifying! They’re like a tiny, coordinated strike team of psychological warfare!"
Sun Wukong: (Grinning, ruffling Xingxing’s hair) "Good. That means the training is working."
The atmosphere in the Water Curtain Cave was significantly more triumphant this time around. After the "betrayal" of Yueliang looking exactly like Liu’er, Wukong had been bracing himself for another mini-macaque.
Ten minutes after the arrival of the second prince of the mountain, the royal trio was officially complete.
Sun Wukong: (Propped up against a mountain of soft furs, cradling the tiny, squirming bundle. His eyes are tired, but as he peels back the silk blanket, a slow, predatory smirk of victory spreads across his face) "Oh...oh, look at you. Look at this glorious sight."
Liu’er Mihou: (Leaning over with a basin of warm water, his six ears twitching nervously) "What? Is he okay? Does he have too many ears? Not enough?"
Sun Wukong: (Turning the baby toward Liu’er with a look of pure, unadulterated smugness) "He’s perfect. Because look, Liu’er...GOLD. Bright, shimmering, Sun Wukong-level golden fur! He has my nose! He has my brow! He has my everything!"
Sun Xingxing: (Only ten minutes old, he lets out a tiny, melodic yawn, his fur glowing like a soft dandelion in the cave’s bioluminescence. He reaches up with a tiny paw, grabbing Wukong’s thumb)
Sun Wukong: (Cackling softly, despite his exhaustion) "Finally! Nine months of suffering and I finally won the genetic lottery again! Take that, Liu’er! The score is two-to-one! The Great Sage's genes will not be suppressed!"
Liu’er Mihou: (Chuckling, leaning down to kiss Wukong’s forehead) "Alright, alright, you win this round, Great Sage. He’s a little golden star. A 'Xingxing' to guide us home."
Sun Taiyang (2-years-old): (Climbing onto the bed with the grace of a seasoned warrior. He peers down at his new brother, his amber eyes wide.) "He’s shiny, Baba. Like me."
Sun Yueliang (1-year-old): (Wobbling over, her six ears fanning out as she sniffs the air. She looks at the golden baby, then up at her dark-furred Papa and then back at the baby. She lets out a small, huffy noise, clearly realizing she is now the only one who looks like Liu’er)
Sun Wukong: (Nudging Yueliang playfully with his tail) "Don't look at me like that, Yueliang. You’re still Papa’s little shadow, but your new brother? He’s all me. We're going to be so loud together, it'll make the Jade Emperor's head spin."
Sun Xingxing: (As if on cue, he opens his eyes — bright, twinkling and full of mischief — and lets out a tiny, high-pitched chirp that echoes through the cave)
Liu’er Mihou: (Sighing with a smile) "He’s definitely yours, Wukong. I can already tell he’s going to be the baby of this group...the one who gets away with everything because he looks like a literal ray of sunshine."
From my "Missing Sun" AU:
Sun Wukong: (Kneeling, his golden armor replaced by heavy, silent robes) "Lord Buddha...the sutras are delivered. The journey is done. My mind is a lake without a ripple...yet there is a shadow at the bottom of it. A space shaped like a person. I feel I have left a limb behind on the Mountain of Grace, but I am whole. Why does my heart feel like an empty cage?"
Buddha: (Voice like a tolling bell) "To achieve the Void, one must let go of all attachments, Sun Wukong. What you feel is the ghost of a cord that has been cut for the sake of the Great Balance."
Wukong: (His eyes flash with a spark of his old fire) "A cord? I had no family but the stones. No brothers but the ones I made in the mud. Tell me, Lord — who did the Heavens make me forget?"
Buddha: (Sighing, a sound of cosmic pity) "The Stone was not meant to bring forth two. But as you grew in strength, so did the shadow in the rock. Sun Luzhen. Your younger brother in spirit, your equal in marrow. While you walked the path of the West, the Celestial Jade Emperors looked upon the Flower-Fruit Mountain and saw a second Sun rising. They feared a second Havoc that no mountain could pin down."
Wukong: (Gripping his knees, his knuckles white) "Luzhen...Luzhen...the name tastes like copper. Where is he? Is he in the Hells? I will tear the registers—."
Buddha: "He is nowhere, Sun Wukong. He was not killed; he was unmade. His thread was pulled from the tapestry of time. To the world, he never breathed. To the mountain, he was never born."
Wukong: (Voice trembling) "Who? Who could strike a soul from the records entirely? Not even the Yama Kings have that power."
Buddha: "It required a master of Taoist secrets. One who knew the origin of your spark."
Wukong: (A horrific realization dawning on him) "No. Not the Old Man. Not Subodhi. He...he taught us. He gave me my name!"
Buddha: "The Patriarch Subodhi wept as he drew the symbols of erasure. He knew that as long as Luzhen existed, the Heavens would never allow you to reach this hall. They gave him a choice: give up the younger brother or let the older brother burn in the furnace of Laozi forever. He chose to save the monkey he knew, by sacrificing the one the world hadn't yet met."
Wukong: (Standing up, the ground beneath his feet cracking despite the sacred soil) "So this is "victory". You let me walk five thousand miles for peace, while you burned my home and erased my blood behind me. You gave me a crown of gold to replace a brother of stone."
(He looks up at the rows of silent Arhats, his teeth bared in a snarl that has not been seen in fourteen years)
Wukong: "Tell the Jade Emperor to start hiding under his table again. I’m going to go find the pieces of a brother he thinks doesn't exist."
Out of the Pilgrims, who do you think was the most annoying?
Sun Wukong
Tripitaka
Zhu Bajie
Sha Wujing
Ao Lie
I headcanon that Tripitaka and Fahai ("Legend of the White Snake") knew each other as children, studying in the same monastery and being roommates, but they hated each other because Tripitaka hated how racist Fahai was while Fahai hated Tripitaka for protecting demons.
The truth is, Taiyang was born prematurely. He was born in the eighth month of the first year of the Song Dynasty when Wukong gave birth to him and would have died if not for the efforts of the midwives.
When Taiyang was a baby, Li Jing and Erlang Shen wanted to get rid of him because they believed he would turn out like his Baba. Thankfully, Guanyin and Buddha intervened and forbade them from doing so.
The tension on Flower Fruit Mountain was palpable as Erlang Shen made the mistake of trying to make "small talk" with the eldest son of the Great Sage. The god sat on a mossy stone, his third eye blinking in confusion as he looked down at the miniature version of his greatest rival.
Erlang Shen: (Squinting, trying to find a single trace of Liu'er Mihou in the boy's features) "It truly is uncanny. Every time I look at you, I feel like I'm back in that cursed duel among the peaks. Tell me, little one...why do you look so much like your Baba? It's like looking at a reflection in a very small, very judgmental mirror."
Sun Taiyang (3-years-old): (Does not even blink. He slowly stops peeling his peach, looks Erlang Shen up and down with a gaze that feels a thousand years old and tilts his head)
Sun Taiyang: "Why do you look like a crusty rat?"
Erlang Shen: (Choking on his own breath, his third eye widening in shock) "I beg your pardon? I am the Second True Lord of Myriad Manifestations! I am a celestial warrior of the highest order!"
Sun Taiyang: (Shrugging his small shoulders, returning to his peach) "Baba says rats live in walls and try to take things that aren't theirs. You have a pointy face and you're in our house. Crusty. Rat."
Sun Wukong: (Muffled snickering coming from behind a nearby waterfall)
Liu’er Mihou: (Walking out from the shadows, leaning against a tree with a smug grin) "Don't look at me, Erlang. I told you the boy was observant. Maybe if you didn't wear so much grey armor, you wouldn't be compared to mountain vermin."
Sun Taiyang: (Looking up at his Papa) "Can I throw the peel at the rat, Papa?"
Liu’er Mihou: "Now, Taiyang...we don't throw things at guests. We just wait for them to leave so we can talk about how weird they are behind their backs."
Erlang Shen: (Standing up, dusting off his robes with trembling hands) "I am leaving. And I am telling the Jade Emperor that your children are a menace to the celestial order."
Taiyang loves peaches. Yueliang loves plums. Xingxing loves apricots.
To be honest, I don't ship Nezha and Ao Bing. In fact, I see their relationship as brothers instead of lovers. I'm very sorry to fans who ship them.