What Can't Be Had
(Monkey King Reborn) Sun Wukong x Reader
(Prompt - Yearning)
(Requested by SlimyBich on AO3)
Falling in love with the Monkey King was so easy, it was practically inevitable.
He was the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, after all. Strong, fearless, confident to the point of arrogance. Always ready to jump into the fray and never willing to back down from any challenge. A warrior that demons and celestials alike both admired and feared. It was little wonder his legend was known throughout the three realms.
But what really drew you in was the secret side others rarely got to see. The stone monkey that wore the armor and infamy with pride; Sun Wukong. A mischievous prankster that liked to play pranks on his brothers. That disagreed with his master only to roll his eyes at the resulting lecture. Who teased you relentlessly as you traveled the long road west together.
He was the same monkey that threw himself into protecting his fellow pilgrims at the first sign of trouble. That fought tooth and nail to rescue his companions from those wishing to cause them harm and never gave up until everyone was safe. Who always fussed and chided over you after every close encounter, showing such concern, you had to look away to hide the blush burning across your cheeks.
Yes, it was easy to fall for Wukong. Not just for his triumphs or handsome looks, though both added to his irresistible charm, but for the monkey you had come to know. He acted indifferent and crass but his care, loyalty, and kindness always shone through. And every single one you witnessed, every gentle touch or encouraging word, only added to your growing affection.
It also broke your heart one crack at a time.
You were no fool. By Wukong’s own words, he was ancient and many times over immortal; having watched centuries pass with the time making little to no difference to him. He had rampaged through heaven, terrorized the underworld, and only now toiled in the mortal realm as a means of redemption. There was much he had seen and experienced, carrying wisdom that seemed strange to hear from the usually unserious monkey.
It made him both more alluring and more unobtainable in your love-struck eyes. For what great being, of mighty deeds and countless lifetimes, would ever consider the affections of a mere mortal?
There was little you could offer. You were no celestial being nor powerful demon like him. Not even an influential human with riches and titles to match his kingly status. Just an average mortal with an average lifespan. One his own immortality would allow him to live far beyond. Even if he did by some miracle return your affections, your short life would only bring inevitable pain. You would inevitably pass and your beloved monkey would continue on into forever with only your memory left to slowly fade away in the endless years.
Just the thought of inflicting such a burden on him was enough to fill you with overwhelming guilt. And so, you held your tongue, burying your feelings where no one would ever discover them. You still enjoyed Wukong’s company, in the cheeky jokes and quiet conversations shared next to the campfire. And all the while, you continued to tuck away pieces of him no one else got to see; of soft, caring glances and gentle, lingering touches. But you did not allow hope to grow there with them no matter how much you wished it could.
Instead, you took one of Sanzang’s teaching to your tender heart as a means of coping:
Be thankful for what you have. For dwelling on what you don’t will only lead to suffering.
It was the mantra you repeated over and over again every time your heart ached and your eyes stung for what could never be. It was bittersweet but you were forever grateful to have met Wukong, to travel westward as a fellow pilgrim and become close enough with the monkey to truly know him. And, while your love may not be returned, you considered your friendship with him an equally valued treasure. Even if you still secretly wished to caress his soft fur when he hugged you close, trace over the freckles scattered over his scrunched nose, and press a loving kiss to his pouty lips. It was a yearning you refused to give in to.
Even when his dark eyes would catch your gaze, curious but clever in their regard. And his tail would curl around your back to steady your steps. Or he would hold you close to keep you warm on cold nights. It only strengthened your resolve to stay silent. Hope couldn’t be allowed to kindle and ruin what already was. Being close to him was enough.
It had to be, for both your sakes.
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AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62162575/chapters/240938906
