Happy Hentai Captions

Hentai captions all about sex positivity and enthusiastic consent. Commentary and feedback welcome!

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[writing-prompt-s]

You rescue many different animals not knowing they are mythical creatures. That weird bird you rescued a month ago was a Phoenix. Your dog? Cerberus. That fox you impulsely got was a kitsune. They also all agree to look over you.

[happyhentaicaptions]

Shin Megami Tensei music intensifies

[writing-prompt-s]

Earth has five seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter and Obar. We forget the events of Obar as soon as it passes. But some are starting to remember…and they wish they didn’t.

[happyhentaicaptions]

Huh, lots of letters fell off the Oktoberfest sign.

[happyhentaicaptions]

Given that most of your captions are gone now. Do you have them backed up. Will they make their way to the new site?

Sadly due to bad backup practices on my part the original documents are lost to me. I can still see the posts (they're there, just flagged and hidden) so I can extract the text, but the way things copy from that view completely breaks the formatting and it's tedious to fix. I might repost some of them if enough people speak up and say they want me to, though.

[happyhentaicaptions]

A new caption by yours truly

To everyone listening on this frequency: I’ve written a new caption! Follow the link above and check it out. No need for signups, just click through the age gate. Please leave a comment over there, too; it’s the only way I know if anyone’s actually reading it!

[happyhentaicaptions]

By the way... Thank you

I should have said this sooner, but thank you to everyone who’s read and enjoyed my work. 767 followers is about 760 more than I ever thought I’d get when I started posting these. Thank you for reading my stuff, putting up with my slow and inconsistent posts, and I hope at least some of you keep reading my stuff on the new host.

[happyhentaicaptions]

Relocation!

Welcome to Happy Hentai Stories! This is my new DreamWidth-hosted hentai blog, where you can expect to find more of the same you had here before! I even have a brand new caption uploaded there, so spread the word, leave a comment, and hopefully I’ll see you all there! Since this is a new site and doesn’t work much like tumblr, I’ll answer a few questions here, but you’re at the end of the important bit.

What is DreamWidth?

A blogging platform similar to LiveJournal - it’s a fork of the same code. DW runs no ads and has no corporate commitments, paying for site maintenance through perks for paid accounts, so they have nothing to fear for hosting legal adult content.

What do I need to see you captions?

Nothing! If you access them while not logged in they’ll be masked, as I’ve marked them adult content, but just confirm you’re over 18 and everything shows up normally.

How do I get alerts when you upload something?

You’ll need to make an account - don’t worry, it’s free, you can use the same email several times (porn alts rejoice), and you don’t have to provide any info. Once you’ve done so, go to the profile page and click the “track this” link on the right. There, you can get emails when I upload anything, or just track the “writing” tag to only get the good stuff (NOT the “hentai caption” tag - you might miss out on stuff!).

I like this! How do I like and share it?

Sadly this is one area DW isn’t as robust as tumblr. There isn’t just a like button. However, you can leave comments on each piece! Just click the link to do so at the bottom of the page. Anonymous comments are turned on (for now), so feel free to leave whatever commentary you like! Seriously, not matter how inane of lewd it is, in place of notes I’d love a comment from everyone who reads. As for sharing, there are subscriptions and reading pages, but honestly you’re best served just posting the URL around.

I hope that answers everything, and I really hope all of you keep an eye on my new home!

[happyhentaicaptions]

Sooo where you gonna be when tumblr nukes you?

The short answer: I’ll probably migrate to Dreamwidth. They don’t have to best image hosting in the world but my content is too long for Twitter and relies in re-posting other people’s images which would get me banned from DeviantArt in a heartbeat. Dreamwidth registration is free, and you can just set up a dummy account to receive update alerts if that’s all you want out of it. I’ll try to save the captions I’ve already made but since the original text files were lost to me we’ll see how that goes. I won’t be deleting this account, so I’ll use it to post links to the new blog when I get it together. (And rest assure, Dreamwidth’s administration has taken to time to promise that adult content is welcome on their site.

And now, with the relevant stuff out of the way, my opinion on the tumblr purge in general:

A part of me is waiting for them to backflip on this, but deep down I know they won’t, because it’s a money issue, not a moral one. Don't listen to anyone who says otherwise. This is 100% the management wanting to hold onto their advertisers. Anything said about wanting to improve the site is total BS.

For those who don’t know, what actually happened here is the tumblr app getting pulled from the Apple app store on grounds of hosting child pornography. The lion’s share of social media access is mobile these days, so rather than a nuanced response involving so surgical tightening of the TOS and some added human oversight, they’re banning about half their content base for the sake of keeping their advertising dollars rolling in. Nevermind that Tumblr as a whole only remains relevant because adult themes could be easily posted in the open and god knows how many sex workers and R18+ artists rely on the platform to make a living, and their CPM is going to tank without that traffic. This sight just doomed itself.

If you want proof of just how much of a joke this purge is, most of my captions aren't even flagged. So despite taking a “guilty until proven innocent” stance, their bots can’t even nail down a blog that wears its adult themes in the open. Way to go, guys. You won't be missed.

[happyhentaicaptions]

DXD Caption Poll

No bullshit this time, I promise! My next caption will be High School DXD-themed, and I want opinions on who the star should be!

Vote over here!

[happyhentaicaptions]

Seeing how the poll is going while a ton of people might really like boob jobs it can’t be your only focus. It’ll get really stale really fast. That and some situations just don’t work with boob jobs. I mean even with how irregularly you post I’m sick of boobjob captions, and I think the reason that they have so much of a following is cause that feels like it’s the only thing you do. I just want some good ole dick in pussy action from time to time.

Worry not, I realized after I put the poll up that I’d overlooked a few things. Both the cart-before-horse reasoning you mentioned, and the fact the options by design lead to a biased outcome. A statistics expert I am not.

The more important thing I noticed is that you’re dead right, I have been leaning on that too much and I need to change it up. As much as I write for fun I need to challenge myself if I’m going to get any better and keep enjoying it. I’m writing something right now to that end, so keep an ear to the ground.

Lastly, thank you for speaking up about this, Anon. Sometimes the obvious needs to be pointed out, and you were perfectly polite about it. This is what constructive criticism looks like.

[happyhentaicaptions]

Quick poll

Something’s been on my mind a bit lately and I figure I should just ask my readers. My paizuri captions are among my best-received, but would it get boring if I did too many in a row? Vote over here to let me know!

This is purely a feedback thing and it won’t affect my immediate output - I maintain that I always write for fun - but I appreciate every one of you for reading and enjoying what I do and I want to know what you enjoy too!

Here’s the link again on its own for those scrolling in a hurry

[happyhentaicaptions]

I like those ideas how about combining them. How about a villain, and hero who have been doing this so long that they have a mutual agreement that whoever wins their fight gets to “rape” the other one. How about something along those lines with the Reader in the Hero’s perspective.

The two of you had done this song and dance so many times.You, a hero who protected the kingdom, and her, a schemer who sought to invadeit. She’d grand designs once, a greater goal, and maybe she still did. It didn’tchange the fact that no matter how many times she tried, you always heard ofit, and you always foiled her plans completely before facing her in person.

The duel was where the script ended. She was much moreformidable in personal combat than she was in her greater plans, and to thisday you could not best her every time. The outcome didn’t affect the kingdom,not with all her other resources dealt with, but would determine what happenednext.

Some time ago, the very first time her greater threat feltlike an afterthought, you’d manage to best her in battle and render herharmless. Then she’d torn her own clothes off, lay back with her legs wide openand asked if you were going to put her in her place. Knowing she was harmless,you’d had a moment of weakness… but your guilt had vanished hearing her moanand latch onto you as you took your prize. Just that once, she smiled as youleft, making it clear how she felt about being ‘punished’.

The next time, you’d been anticipating such a prize, enoughthat she got the advantage during the fight, and you’d ended up bound and ather mercy. Still, you had trouble objecting to the outcome, even as she toyedwith you as she pleased, denying you all through the night. Come dawn, she tookmercy, releasing you in more ways than one.

And that was what you had come to look forward to every timea village mentioned seeing her minions. She put up more of a fight these days,making you pin her down and tear her clothes off even after you bested her, buther soaking pussy always belied how she really felt, and her screams and curseswere soon replaced by wanton moans as she ‘broke’ under your punishment. Andwhile you never made it easy, she sometimes pulled out a new trick you didn’tsee coming, and you’d be her plaything until she got bored and set you free.

And here you were once more, facing her from across the hallof her latest hideout. Someone was overdue to be put in their place. It wasjust a matter of who…

-----

Such a good idea I hadto expand on it a bit! Picture is by Sciamano240. Would you guys like to see afull caption about this? Who would you like to see win? And either way, anysuggestions for specific villainesses you’d like to see? (It’s hard to find art for this one, so I’m looking for other suggestions!) I know this is a tease, but I hope you guys enjoy!

[happyhentaicaptions]

Would you ever consider doing a darker request but one that’s still morally right? Like a girl who gets off on rape play or a villain getting what they deserve by being humiliated.

I would, and you’ve actually given a good example of where the line is. A girl getting off on rape-play is fine, because that’s harmless roleplay between consenting adults - even if she got roughed up a bit, the narrative would make it clear she’d agreed beforehand and was getting off on this. On the other hand, humiliating a villain like that actually IS rape, which is a no-go for this blog.

(That said, it could still be spun into something I’d write - say a reformed villain agreeing to be “used” by the hero as penance, or the hero and his girlfriend sharing the villain to actually demonstrate this “love” thing. The important part is everyone has to say yes.)

[happyhentaicaptions]

I was curious but do you take private requests? Like sending an image and getting a private response to it, if we'd like for it to be more personalized and include our name and such?

I’ve never actually been asked about this. By all means feel free to get in touch with me about it (remember not to be anonymous, though, so I can get back to you privately) but remember, I do this as a hobby and I won’t necessarily write everything. I also reserve the right to write out any names, ect. and post a caption publicly with everything identifying removed at a later date.

[happyhentaicaptions]

An update

First of all, I’m still alive! I do apologize for the unannounced absence. You’re not here for me so I won’t go into details, but I’m doing fine!

As for writing, I haven’t actually been completely out of it. Go check out @sowiro, apart from being a great artist, I’ve been doing some captions for their art when it’s hot off the press! These will eventually be mirrored here (I can’t just reblog), but in the meantime, give him the traffic and clicks, his art more than earns it. There’s other writers there as well!

As for me, I hope to have some content up on this blog again soon, though I won’t promise a timetable. However, something that took me by surprise is a few people have asked if I’ll ever do a Q&A about myself. If this is something you’d like to see, feel free to leave me a question, and I might just make such a page (though I reserve the right to not answer anything uncomfortable, of course).

Lastly, I can’t thank you enough for having patience with me. I hope to be back to writing for you all soon!

[happyhentaicaptions]

Looking for inspiration!

As some of you have probably noticed I’ve been quiet for a while again and I’m looking for something to get the creative wheels turning again. A poll worked nicely last time but I’m doing something a bit more freeform: what do all of you want to see? I’m looking for characters, acts, scenes, anything! Use the asks link (or click here from your dashboard) and let me know! I’m just canvassing for ideas, so for this I am totally fine with one- or two-word responses. Just let me know who and what you guys want to see in some happy smut!

[happyhentaicaptions]

I wanted to know if you'll also be writing the other captions in order of probablity because I'm very interested in seeing the Ahri and D.VA captions.

It’s very likely there will be at least one caption for Ahri and D.Va each, hopefully in the not-too-distant future. I can’t put a definitive note on when or in what order, but they’re both too lovely to pass up.