#happy

Life is real, love is real, dreams are real. Most people deny them focusing on drama. Life is so much simpler than people realize.

[happylife251]

I found the path, or the path found me.

The Universe has been guiding me to this moment all along. Today, my job problems, became my inspiration as I volunteered to help. An automated task. Which gave me time to listen and reflect to some things online.

Which lead me to think in the train, which also had delays, and watch a video again and write down some notes. And then, while I considered first going to shop, I was forced to come home by nature’s call. Which meant I would sit here, sporadically, open this blog and write down these thoughts.

A day of synchronicity. Not to mention my sore throat which made me give up on training someone allowing me to volunteer.

Taoism. I’ve heard it before but never have I been exposed to what it was, and yet it is all I’ve been living and trying to strive for. Following the effortless path. Just like typing this. An impulse, an inspiration of my mind and soul combined. I know there is more to the way I am being guided to. I just need to follow the flow and evolve in it and meet up with that which I truly am though we are never apart.

Soon I start a new life, and I worry about how it will enfold. And this, I guess, no, I trust, is the Universe’s way to say, ‘it will be ok’, as always. I just have to enjoy the ride, let go, and love, love all I do and do all I love for the sake of love. Be present in this moment and trust that the future is taken care of as long as I continue to do so. In trust lies true faith. In trust lies true love. You love because you trust. Trust is true freedom to feel as you wish to feel. The peace to embrace the moment, knowing that nothing can harm you. Just the way a child feels safe sleeping in the mother’s arm. The Universe extends it’s arms towards us and embrace us and hope we sleep and dream this wonderful dream until it is time to wake up. And we will tell about our amazing stories as a human. Because we were present, and aware and enjoying every moment of it. Like a dream, the memories won’t fade. And then, we will sleep again, and dream again this wonderful dream. And we get to play and create in a lucidity. We are the creators of this life, as long as we know we cannot control. The paradox which lies in there is hard to grasp to some. But it is the truth of all there is and all our purpose on this planet. Learn to control the impulse to control and enjoy whatever gifts the Universe wants to offer you.

As they say, follow your bliss. Therein, lies the secret to happiness.

[happylife251]

Philosophy questions

Who am I? 

I've been trying to use labels to describe myself in society's terms. This is not who I am. It is what I like, what attracts and interest me but not who I am. I am an extention of the source in a human experience and nothing has been more liberating than that understanding. I love cute things, I don't have to dress like Lolita. I love art, I don't have to act like a depressed artist and can actually work on drawing dreams the way I always wanted. I am not smart but I enjoy learning. I am not strong but I love challenging myself. I am not perfect but I enjoy the growth that comes with imperfection.

Where did I come from and where am I going?

I used to look up to the sky as a child wondering this. I was convinced I came from the stars. This was way before I had access to anything metaphysical of the sort. In a small island, no internet, just a girl with a big imagination and no internet. I knew my path before I was aware of it. I would leave to somewhere far away, fall in love and work for hotels. Make people smile with my art. I don't fight these facts anymore. I just follow them and let them become the reality they were meant to be. Following the path of least resistance is actually easy once you stop fighting.

What is my purpose?

To make people smile with my art.

I searched for the answers for these questions for a long time. I came to the conclusion that I always knew. My 8 year old self knew. I just had to remember her and listen to her. If you are lost, if you do not know, do not understand... Try to remember and understand that little pure person you once were. They always knew all the answers.

[happylife251]

Wishes for the next year

I still try to find time in my voice and find my voice in time. I want to dedicate next year to my art but at the same time, I want to dedicate time to my mind, my heart and my body. My mind through this writing and letting go of the mind of restrictive thoughts I might have. My heart through more time with my family. My body through now attempts at exercising, eating healthy and finally getting at my pre-baby weight.

But I often wonder how feasible it all is. I finally got the job I wanted. A job that allows me a routine. So I can make time for all of this. The plan is following 2 days of art , 3 of exercise (including one evening of yoga a week) , 2 of family (mainly in the weekend). I think it is feasible given that I don't feel sick or weak which is the main reason I've stopped doing any of it. But then I think, what about my mind. How do I make time to learn, grow, reflect, share?

I really don't know. I'm writing this on the phone after long two days of Christmas. Soon going to sleep hoping I can even though I have sinus congestion. Last night was horrible. Had to go to bed early in the middle of visit after a couple of visit to the bathroom to cry. I was in pain due to the congestion. I tried pushing through. I failed. Today I feel better but still crappy. I how it gets even better tomorrow. But it makes me scare to sleep again in the hotel. If it is the cause of my allergies then it will make sense. We'll see also next year once I am not working in the same place anymore. I really hope this change makes all the difference and I get better once I move.

[happylife251]

a dream

Dreamed again with the sea, a surfer beach.

It was ancient and bright and the clearest water I've seen in my life. I didn't want to leave and just wanted to float on the gentle waves. It was protected and I was lucky to be there.

PS: he woke up at 6:10! 🙌

[happylife251]

in the flow of unlimited time

Today has been amazing!

I woke up and took my son to the daycare. He actually woke up at 5:54!!!! Yes! He also woke up at 5:00 but went back to bed. Then I went to sleep until 12. However I had nasty dreams at the end. Probably because I overslept. A record of almost 10 hours.

However, I needed it, I felt great when I woke up. Forcing to go on fasting. And my body has been cleaning nonstop. Then I prepared my stuff to draw and drew, danced and sang nonstop for an hour, when I felt magical and alive and happy. The most I've felt, after the times when my son grabs my face and kisses it.

Then I still draw for another hour after a break. And then I meditated on manifesting. I was floating and floating and I felt amazing. And 15 minutes passed, which felt much much longer. I felt today, I added a big chunk of joy into the universe.  ♥

Life is beautiful and magical and the funny feeling was, when I was drawing, I had this feeling that all was flowing, and I was just liberating resistance, and all was perfect and the universe is taking care of me and my dreams. And all I have to do is dance and sing and draw. And that is how I create magic. That is how I create time.

[happylife251]

those extra hours

There is a blessing on working shifts.

Last night my son was having a bad night and was unable to sleep, keeping us up from 1:30 to almost 3 awake. My boyfriend finally settled him knowing about my injury. (I am actually scare of doing too much lifting and fighting with him until I know it is healed). But it meant I needed to get up at 6. However, after he got up at 8:30, I was able to go to sleep. They both went on a father and son day which meant I slept 3 magnificent hours and woke up as if from a long long needed sleep. It was amazing! I feel guilty of not going with them, but I also feel glad that they can have their own time together to bond. And I get to have my own time to recover my sleep. As I still have 2 more evenings to go.

I am grateful for the extra hours he gives me.

[happylife251]

And so it begins

Some basics. I'm 33. I have a 19 month old energetic sweet boy. I work in hospitality. I believe in the power of manifestation. And that everything is possible until proven otherwise. My religion is love.

I've been searching a while for real blogs. You know, the ones back in the old days where people shared their minds, not their lives, not their tips or books... Oh the endless books. Good for them. But it is out of control. I feel people are now blogging just for the money and forgot about the art of pouring one's raw soul out there into the world wide mind. I got tired of searching. So I decided to make mine. I do have my own journal, but this feeling that someone might read this feels a bit more liberating and less secretive. Though it is also an art to disguise yourself.

It is still dark outside. My toddler wakes up at 5:30 which means I'm up since then even if I let him in his crib until 6:00. I'm trying to train him. I'm a morning person so I don't mind 6. My only problem is when I do evening shifts and I only sleep 4 hours every day with broken naps here and there. I have a baby who don't like sleeping since he was born. Training was successful and necessary but it also means he still sleeps only what he needs. I have to confess my envy towards my friend who has a 11 month old who has always loved sleeping. Too much. With long 4 hours naps and 8-9 sleep time. Compared to my little boy's 1.5 hour nap and 7-5 night. But I'm happy for her. It allows her to follow her full time job ambitions. I do not have those. After having my boy I realized how much more I always wanted to work from home but I'm scared of the isolation.

I believe in manifestation. I've gotten all I want through it. So I now am manifestating a part time stable position at the company I work on. That way I can have it both ways. I love this company, hence I don't want to fully leave. We can now afford me going part time, but waiting for such a position to open now.

As I write this, my boy is on my lap watching TV. Because I'm tired. Because my leg still hurts from running with him to the doctor for his head cut. I can't play much on the floor with him. But I love cuddling. He just have too much energy to cuddle long. But I love it. I manage as I can.

Until next time, Me.