the inner patchwork of my youth

the incessant need to document

[happylizardsurfer]

Not to be cliche, but I think my dog is my best friend

[happylizardsurfer]

I am a normal human person who can interact with people in a normal human way and communicate in a normal human way with normal human sentences that a normal human can understand

[and no, I don't struggle to make eye contact with people when I'm talking to them. Why do you ask]

[happylizardsurfer]

[When you have spent so long in panic mode your body doesn't trust feeling fine]

[when it is more unnatural to you to feel okay than it is to feel like absolute shit]

[healing your mental health feels like learning to live again, and it is so scary not constantly being scared]

[my mind is heavily medicated, but my body still remembers.]

[happylizardsurfer]

The masses I would murder in cold blood to get my hands on classic Winnie the Pooh items ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[happylizardsurfer]

*Rubbing my hands together like a little gremlin*

He he he I will subject you to my interests against your will

[happylizardsurfer]

On THE MANUAL OF CREATION - FINAL EDITION

Time said to God, "So this is your grand plan"

quizzically eyeing the worn instruction manual,

stuffed to the brim with notes

seams struggling to bind pages slippery with use

God effortlessly hefted the tome,

absentmindedly flipping through the pages

in the manner of one not only well-acquainted

with the object

but deeply connected to its very being

"YES" - His Voice - final.

"THE MANUAL OF CREATION - FINAL EDITION"

At that instant Time knew, was knowing, and would know

the detailed steps of God's prized manual.

A dissatisfied frown muddied Time's features

"You wish for me to be linear."

"YES" - final.

"Continual and irreversible...yet

relative."

"YES" - final.

Resigned to the conditions

Time returned The Manual of Creation - Final Edition

to God's patient palm.

A final inquiry:

"And I am to work alongside...him?"

Time gestured to the figure

seated in every position

facing in every direction

Reaching out an all-encompassing hand

Space made acquaintance with Time

"It is a pleasure to be working with you"

The briefest hesitation,  then

"Likewise"

Palm connected to plam

And with a handshake reality commenced

[happylizardsurfer]

So incredibly tempted to go for a walk by myself and just never return

[call of the void but the void is the forrest]

[happylizardsurfer]

Yeah no I have a completely normal infatuation with:

Dinosaurs

NASA

Winnie the Pooh

Jungle Oats

Peanut butter

Skeletons

And...

Germany

[happylizardsurfer]

When the fit makes you feel like someone's decrepit OC

[I sewed patches on a jacket and feeling ready to fist fight god]

[happylizardsurfer]

Serious question: what drugs did they put in kpop demon hunters

Because they definitely put something in it and I am ADDICTED

[happylizardsurfer]

Damn my ice coffee is yummy

(I am such a gay stereotype sitting here with my cinnamon, vanilla and honey iced latte)

[happylizardsurfer]

I should be legally classified as a Hobbit

[I was born to live in a cozy hole in the ground]

[I love yapping]

[little]

[happylizardsurfer]

Ultimate lord of the rings duos:

- Sam and Frodo

- Sam and Bill

-Sam and his rope

- Gimli and Legolas

- Merry, Pippin and Treebeard

- Gandalf and disappearing with no explanation

- everybody and lembas

[happylizardsurfer]

Out here mentally chain-smoking a pack of cigarettes as breathing excersises

[happylizardsurfer]

At the event failing at social interactions

[visibly cringing as after each sentence I say the negative friendship signs from the Sims slap me in the face]

[happylizardsurfer]

White boy (gender neutral)

[happylizardsurfer]

Oh to run away to a farm and grow look after your little vegetable garden and take long walks and brew fanciful teas and bake homemade bread and sit under the trees in the early morning sunlight

And you are breathing in life

And the kitchen is warm from making fresh food with your homegrown produce and all your neighbours who are your best friends pop in for tea and come over for dinner

The days are slow and full of love

Take my hand, let us run away to a farm cottage together, please.