hard for npr

@hardfornpr

Sometimes it's hard for NPR to cover a topic, resulting in hilarity. From having an articulate white lady describe "making it rain" to finding a circular puzzle in Party Rock Anthem, their intellectuality shows. They try to search for greater meaning within banality—and it's hilarious. This blog is a documentation of those articles, among other things.

6,203 posts

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

not-a-space-alien

I miss my moving men they took such good care of me and they were so handsome and beautiful and strong and efficient and they wrapped all my furniture up in plastic and they loved that I got pizza for them and they knew how to safely drive the big big truck. Come back to me moving men

not-a-space-alien

Moving men please come move me in your big strong arms in a way that complies with local safety regulations and the company's values

not-a-space-alien

One of the men had a dangling earring and a stud, so I told him I liked his earrings. So he told me about how when he first got his ears pierced, he lost a stud and had to borrow an earring from his girlfriend to keep the hole from closing up. Well the only one she had to lend him was a dangling pink fuzzy duck. And everyone made fun of him for wearing it until they realized he didn't give a fuck what they thought. So now he always wears one stud and one dangling earring.

He told me this story while manhandling my entire couch. And I'm supposed to be normal about this? I'm bisexual

reallyreallyreallytrying

sorry for lashing out at you dude. in my rage i mistook you for a piece of shit

I wish I liked being alive. I’m not suicidal or anything, so don’t worry. I just can’t really think of a sustained time, like more than a few days, where I was happy to be alive, or liked it. Apparently that’s not normal.

stay-close

“If you find someone who makes you smile, who checks up on you often to see if you’re okay. Who watches out or you and wants the best for you. Who loves and respects you. Don’t let them go. People like that are hard to find.”

— Franz Kafka

remanence-of-love

needyfem

yearning for being talked through it like, one hand working between my thighs as they look into my hazy eyes and keep asking me if it feels “good?” “yeah?” “gonna cum?” “gonna give it to me?…” "doing so good for me, baby…"keep going… " & praising me when they get a dumb reply😵‍💫

the-420-siren

Where do I get this?

predat0ryfemme

you guys need to be normal about people who don't like penetration. people who don't get hard easily. people who finish quickly. people who participate in kink without having sex. people who don't like being touched. people who don't like giving head. people who only like penetration. people who (almost) always squirt. people who take a long time to cum. people who have a hard time getting wet. people who don't talk during sex or anything else that is not part of the way you think people or bodies should behave during sex

“Those were the last indignities I was willing to suffer.” Say it again, dammit.