Hariet @hariet - Tumblr Blog

Muse Unequality

“How come @askwendyokoopa gets pride icons and I don’t? It’s not fair! Where are my height and weight stats? My voiceclaim?! Even @countessalcinadimitrescu gets those and she’s not even on the list! I demand equal and unbiased treatment! That crappy Patty’s Day RP was 81 days ago... if you don’t pay attention to me right now, I’m gonna E-X-P-L-O-D-E!”

#askwendyokoopa

askwendyokoopa

Here is my contribution to the Year of the Koopaling and also Wendy Day. Guest staring two other female members of otherwise male groups in the Marioverse, all fused in the Monster Mixer for your convenience. And by ‘contributing’ I mean Beebs did all the work while I made odd decisions. Like how Pom Pom’s ‘outfit’ consists of two beads, but they are green so that’s why fusing with her turns outfits green… so if you disagree with that, remember to blame me.

art by Burntbeebs

hariet

We should really fuse more often.

askwendyokoopa

🐢:"Surprise! Get ready for..." Pom Pom and Hariet stopped their attack. 🐇:"What's with that ugly bow?" 🐢:"Red,Orange,Yellow,Blue.Blue,Purple... there's not like green on the back is there?"

“When did you two move in together? And this atrocious little number was a gift from one of my loyal subjects who, let’s just say isn’t… well, living anymore. You know one of my pet peeves is people getting rainbows wrong, but this particular mistake had a silver lining because I couldn’t choose a non-green and non-pink color for today. And rest assured, I have carefully checked the whole bow, and there is, in fact, no green anywhere.”

“But you, Hariet, I thought you were dating Iggy, what happened with that? And what happened to your URL?!”

hariet

“What? You talk about your sexual exploits all the time! Or lack thereof… mostly the lack, actually since tumblr got neutered and everything happens off screen, does it really happen at all? Like have you ever seen Boundary Break? What if when we fade to black, like nothing really happens, and then that computer from Storks engineers us a kid if our species is compatible… or something, IDK I never actually saw it. What if the entire porn industry was just deepfakes, and there were no genitals, and without those, no one can bump uglies. And furthermore–”

((She continues for a while… she’s starting to sound like a Flat Earther, I don’t remember her being this crazy last time I wrote her. I never should have let all my muses build their own sort of OsTown inside my head, they always evolve in… strange ways. Anyway, this isn’t where I wanted the RP to go and Wendy’s already run away, with Pom Pom chasing after her. I guess this is where Hariet’s part ends?))

#askwendyokoopa

askwendyokoopa

🐢:"Surprise! Get ready for..." Pom Pom and Hariet stopped their attack. 🐇:"What's with that ugly bow?" 🐢:"Red,Orange,Yellow,Blue.Blue,Purple... there's not like green on the back is there?"

“When did you two move in together? And this atrocious little number was a gift from one of my loyal subjects who, let's just say isn’t... well, living anymore. You know one of my pet peeves is people getting rainbows wrong, but this particular mistake had a silver lining because I couldn’t choose a non-green and non-pink color for today. And rest assured, I have carefully checked the whole bow, and there is, in fact, no green anywhere.”

“But you, Hariet, I thought you were dating Iggy, what happened with that? And what happened to your URL?!”

hariet

“First of all, I’m not ‘living with Pom Pom’ we just agreed to ambush you together for el pinche ocular piss. Maybe set up the idea that I send asks with 🐇emojis because sideblogs can’t send them. And B) Iggy and I were just friends… with benefits, we weren’t going out or living together or anything like that. Yuck!”

Wendy taps her foot impatiently. After a while she takes out a red marker and underlines the second sentence to Hariet.

“Oh… that? Remember three, four years ago when everyone was camping URLs like harietbroodal and broodalhariet and stuff?”

Wendy angrily replied in the negative.

“Well, it was a thing… and now, years later, when no one gives a shit about us anymore, I can pick all of the URLs I want from the very walls. While I was deciding on which of the two to choose, I checked this one too. Low and behold, just Hariet was available! I am now an official, canon URL character. And I think I’m the only one! The only one our undependable Mun has, since he never used @tatanga and he doesn’t post on @kylie-koopa or @princess-shokora anymore!”

#askwendyokoopa