the 'fun' in funeral.

GLITTER QUEEN HARLEEN The name's Harley Quinn! I'm rubber, you're glue! Whatever you say bounces off me and makes a six-inch-diameter exit wound in you. chaos & fun

[harlsquinns-blog]

Click the ♥ or reply for a starter from the Cupid of Crime! (5/5)

[harlsquinns-blog]

superbxyclxne‌:

“I can see why she likes me too,” he joked, he noticed her blush, and couldn’t help but grin a little. He felt a little more relief after they got into the building, they didn’t need to worry anymore about the criminals, unless they got inside, but that probably wouldn’t happen, as they mostly just got into the stories, where they could get money. “Don’t grin like that, we’re just friends,” it’s what what he kept on telling others and himself, but if they are just friends, then why was he blushing? “Yeah, some of the criminals were coming,” he walked to the elevator, and pressed the button, so they could go to her floor. “Well, what can I say? Zee is not the only that have a  few tricks up her sleeves, I do too.”

“Just friends, huh?” Maybe they were nothing more than friends, but she didn’t really believe him. “If ya say so,” she said, shrugging a shoulder. When he told her that criminals were nearby, she wondered how he knew. She hadn’t heard, or seen anyone close to them. “Oh? Like what?” she asked, stepping into the elevator once the doors had opened. “Are you a wizard, or a magician? Ya kinda look like Harry Potter.” She beamed at him as the elevator went up, her gaze fixed on his forehead. “All ya need is the thunderbolt scar, an’ you’d have a great cosplay. What house would ya be in, if ya went to Hogwarts? I’d probably be sorted into Slytherin, but I ain’t too sure. I don’t like the idea of livin’ in a dungeon. It’d be cold an’ creepy,” she rambled.  

[harlsquinns-blog]

riddle-me-that‌:

“I won’t deny the appeal of a good carnival.” Edward replied with a smile before clearing his throat. “But this one isn’t a good one per-say. Hey, how about a fact! Did you know that in Europe carousels turn clockwise but here in America, they turn the other way around?”  He rambled. The month he spent locked away in Arkham had left him eager to talk to someone who would actually listen. To spew the facts he’d memorized for fun when he was younger. He knew Harley wouldn’t mind it. She, unlike the majority of people, actually liked to listen to him talk. 

She reached over and took his hand and Ed eyed hers before squeezing it. “Harley, I want you to know that I’m a lot stronger than I look. If Joker hurts you again, tell me? Maybe I can do something about it?” It was a suggestion he knew wasn’t going to actually go anywhere. Harley would never allow him to fight her own battles, but he couldn’t just sit around uselessly if she was in danger. She was one of his best friends. And friendships like theirs were hard to come by. “I’m alright.” He replied. “A little tired. You know how it can be just coming out of Arkham. As soon as you’re a bit used to the screaming every night, you start being unable to properly sleep without all the noice.” 

Harley folded her arms across her chest, staring at Ed as he stated a random fact. Sometimes she wondered how his brain retained so much knowledge about useless things. He was the smartest person she’d ever met, and he always knew how to take her mind off things and get her thinking. “I wonder why they do that. D’ya think it’s ‘cause they drive on a different side of the road, too? It’s so strange, but also kinda cool, y’know?” Harley wished that she was in Europe, riding carousels that turned in a different direction. She’d be safe there, and far away from Joker and his carnival of terror. “Got any more cool carnival facts fer me, Eddie? Ya really do teach me somethin’ new every time I see ya.” 

When Ed offered to help her, if she ever needed him to, she shook her head with a smile. “I couldn’t drag ya into somethin’ so... dangerous. I’d never risk yer life ta save mine, yer my best guy. Losin’ ya would hurt more than takin’ whatever he decides ta throw at me. D’ya understand?” The thought of Joker hurting someone so close to her made her feel sick to her stomach. Her friends meant the world to her -- they were her family. They were there to pick up the pieces whenever she couldn’t cope anymore. The Rogues were a bad bunch, but to her, they were angels in disguise. “Yeah, I remember goin’ through that. White noise kinda helped me, along with Bud an’ Lou’s snorin’,” she said, chuckling. “I hope nobody gave ya too much trouble... Did ya think of any new riddles while you were there?”

[of-tamaran-deactivated20240928]

[harlsquinns-blog]

riddle-me-that‌:

@harlsquinns liked for a starter

“I must say,” Ed spoke as he finished pouring himself a glass of wine. He already had hers set up across from him. His friend seemed to be going though a rough time. With the return of Joker and all. Edward wasn’t stupid. Joker escaped around the same time he did and the man wasn’t exactly subtle about bringing a carnival into town. “I’m glad you’ve decided to come and meet with me. With everything that’s happened to you recently, Harls… I thought you’d be halfway to that carnival by now.” He didn’t mean it as a slight, Ed spoke his mind and half the time he didn’t realize when something he said was too sensitive.

He waved her over towards him with a swift gesture of his hand. “Come, sit with me.” 

Harley watched as Ed poured the wine, leaning against the wall with a small smile on her face. She’d missed him terribly, and often found that her heart felt heavy in her chest whenever she thought of him. He was one of her best friends -- he brought light and laughter to her life. Seeing him again was exciting, he made her feel a little bit safer. It wasn’t like he could do anything to help her if Joker decided to terrorise her, but she knew that he’d be there for emotional support. “Maybe in the past,” she said, making her way towards the table. “But not now. Not after everythin’. I have ta admit that I was a lil’ intrigued by the carnival, though...”

She took a seat opposite Ed, then took a sip of her wine. “Him bein’ back in the city feels... bad. I’ve always been weak when it comes ta him.” With a sigh, she reached across the table for Ed’s hand. “It’s so good ta see ya, Eddie. Better than I can put into words! How’ve ya been?” 

[harlsquinns-blog]

superbxyclxne‌:

Conner took her hand, and shook it, “Why thank you, aren’t you a charmer? It’s nice to meet you too, and I can definitely say the same about you, although you are very photogenic,” he grinned at her,  “Oh, I know, she has very magical hands,” he said it in a way that she understood he knew about her magic. “But I can at least do a good enough patch up, until you can meet with her,” he assured her. “Let’s see if Zee has, we should probably go to her place, as we are closer to it than mine, I have an extra key,” after he said the last word, he heard some criminals coming, but they weren’t close enough for her to see it, but Kon could definitely hear them, he was using his super hearing since they started talking, just in case. “And we should go right now,” he took her hand, and dragged her inside the building.

Harley looked down at the ground, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Oh, thanks! Yer a charmer, too! I can see why Zee likes ya,” she said, hoping the blush on her cheeks had faded as she looked up at him again. When he agreed that Zatanna had magical hands, she let out a sigh of relief. Now she didn’t have to worry about accidentally blabbing to him. “Extra key? Dayuuum, how close are you two?” she asked with a mischievous grin. Harley thought that her friend would never settle down with someone, but maybe she was wrong. “Oh, okay!” she said, allowing him to pull her along behind him. “Is somethin’ wrong? That’s quite the grip you’ve got there, muscle man.”

[harlsquinns-blog]

hearthecanarycry‌:

Once Harley made it to the couch, Dinah started to realize that the blood definitely wasn’t someone else’s. Harley lifted her shirt to show a dark pool of red surrounded by pale, white skin. Checking to make sure, she realized that the bullet hadn’t gone through. “Shit,” she muttered to herself. That meant the bullet was still in there somewhere, which meant she was going to have to dig it out if she was going to stitch it up. The hospitals were bound to be packed with all of the recent events, and Harley wasn’t always on the right side of the law. Then again, as of recently… Dinah hadn’t been on the right side of the law either. She’d gone AWOL at her post.

Still, Harley was awake, so that had to be a good sign. Ollie was always better at patching up than Dinah was. Something about an archer’s hands – and damn, she loved what his hands could do. He was probably out there saving people like the hero that he was, so this one was on Dinah. “Sit tight,” she said and went to the cabinets, rummaging through them for their more intensive first aid kit. “You know Ollie doesn’t usually…” Her voice trailed off when she found a bottle of vodka in the cabinet. “Never mind.”

It wasn’t something she could bring up to him. Dinah had hardly been sober as the Black Siren; she couldn’t have expected Oliver to stay away from alcohol anymore when she was half of the reason that he’d given it up in the first place. It wasn’t something she’d asked him to do; she wouldn’t have asked it of anyone. But after her father had reached the bottom of too many bottles, Dinah knew that she couldn’t go down the same path. Oliver had supported the decision in every way that he could. “Here,” she said, offering the bottle to Harley. “You might want a shot of this before I try and take a closer look, because I need to get the bullet out before we can stitch this one up… and it’s gonna hurt like hell.”

Dinah’s reaction to the wound wasn’t a good one, but it didn’t bother Harley, because she knew that she was safe now. She’d been in far worse situations before, and she had walked the thin line between life and death a few times. After falling from rooftops, being Joker’s girl, and going up against some of the toughest heroes the world had to offer, she had developed a high pain tolerance. Still, the wound hurt, and she didn’t like the idea of someone patching it up. Grimacing, she dabbed at her stomach with the sleeve of her jacket and tried not to get blood on the couch. 

“Huh?” Harley asked, focusing on the bleeding rather than what the other woman was saying. When Dinah said nevermind, she nodded her head and looked up at her. It was nice to have the ‘normal’ Dinah back. As fun as Black Siren was, she wasn’t the woman Harley had grown to love over the years. She wasn’t the person she’d shared secrets with and needed when things with Joker got rough. “It’s nice ta have ya back, birdie,” she said, giving her a small smile.

Harley took the bottle from Dinah, unscrewing the cap before downing two mouthfuls. The alcohol burnt her throat as it went down, but it was a welcome distraction from the pain in her abdomen. “Eh, I’ve always enjoyed a lil’ pain. Not so sure I’ll be sayin’ that in five minutes, though.” She took another drink, then placed the bottle on the floor, keeping it close by in case she needed it again. “Alright, Doctah Dinah, let’s go bullet huntin’! If ya get it out in under 20 seconds, ya get a prize!” 

[harlsquinns-blog]

myrtlejenkinss‌:

“Of course I do!” Myrtle exclaimed. A wide smile on her face. “Don’t you know how famous you are? You know, I’ve always thought you deserved more limelight than what Joker got, you- you’re an inspiration.” She commented. Sure, Myrtle probably preferred Harley because she looked like her. She small stature, the blonde hair. She gave Myrtle a tiny bit of hope that even though she was a woman, she could rise to the ranks that the other Rogues had reached. To stardom. Edward himself had been quite thin when she met him. Lanky, not nearly as strong as all the other men she knew. But clearly it was his intelligence that made him special. His beautiful, dangerous mind. Harley was probably the same way, only… she actually seemed to know how to fight too.

Myrtle brightened up when Harley said she’d teach her. Her eyes widened. It was like she was given another chance. Another chance to prove herself. Saving the Riddler had only taken her so far. Clearly she’d need to be able to do a bit more to get his attention again. “I mean, I have!” She giggled, “But not in a while!” 

Harley was flattered by the woman’s words, a proud grin now replacing the amused one. “Well, I can’t argue with that. He’s terrifying, so that’s why he got the limelight all the time. Nobody does evil deeds quite like Joker.” Her stomach felt unsettled at the thought of the things he’d done to the people of Gotham. Not that she was innocent, she’d done terrible things, too. Things that made them both rise to the top. “But, nobody does chaos like me. And I’d take chaos over his... shenanigans any day, wouldn’t you?” she asked, hoping that the woman would say yes. Her face was kind, and she seemed too meek to enjoy the kind of things Joker did to the world. 

Noticing how the other woman perked up at her answer, Harley rested a hand on her shoulder, kicking Lenny out of the way to stand closer to her. “Not in a while? Well, we’ve gotta fix that, huh? The best way ta learn how ta fight is ta be thrown into one! An’ there’s plenty goin’ on around here,” she said, looking over at the people she’d walked past before. They were still throwing punches. “But a lotta these goons are carryin’ knives an’ whatnot, so maybe not,” she sighed. “I wouldn’t want ya ta get killed right away -- not when I have so much ta teach!”

[harlsquinns-blog]

superbxyclxne‌:

Kon assumed that she recognized him from the pictures, Zee and him did take some, so he was not really surprised, she was her best friend after all, so he figured that she followed her on social media. “Yep, that’s me, it’s nice to officially meet you,” he may seem a little distracted, but he was paying attention to her, he was just also paying attention to their surrounds, in case anyone showed up, one of the criminals. “She isn’t at her place, I was actually going to ask you about her…” he got slightly more worried that Harley didn’t know about her too. “She is probably still out there kicking some asses,” it was what he kept on telling himself to calm down, he hoped he was right. “Maybe I could help with it somehow?”

Harley nodded her head, holding her hand out for him to take. Manners were important. “It’s nice ta meet you too! Yer more handsome than ya are in photos,” she said, smiling as she looked around, making sure no nutsos were about to sneak up on them. “Oh, she ain’t?” Her smile disappeared for a brief moment. “Yer right. Zee’s a good fighter! Strong an’ feisty. I'll catch her tomorrow or somethin' if she's around.” When Conner offered to help with her injury, she sighed softly. “I mean, it’s nothin’ major. Just a graze on my back. Zee is like... really good at patchin’ me up. It’s like she has magic hands,” she said, her eyes meeting his, wondering if he’d understand what she meant. ”But yeah, you’ll be able ta help. I got a question, though! D’ya have Hello Kitty or Batman bandaids? They’re my favourite.”   

[harlsquinns-blog]

harlequinofhate‌:

The carnival seemed to appear overnight, bright red tent tops and screaming tilt-a-whirls, and it was no coincidence that its arrival coincided with Joker’s abrupt escape from Arkham. “Sobre las Olas” blasted over various loudspeakers, creating a fantastical yet off-key soundtrack to limping carnies and grinning showmen. Its doors were thrown open–free admission, free tickets, one night only! The man stood on a makeshift stage as he called to pedestrians as they passed by, his voice friendly, lilting, and his clothes perfectly tailored. He waved a cane toward the entrance and it spun around in his hand, hypnotic. 

Inside, the lights were bright and the fleeting screams from the rides were joyous. There were funhouses, haunted houses, freak shows (a quarter a peek), and various games with stuffed prizes and plump goldfish. 

Somewhere past the ferris wheel and the popcorn stand, something changed. The scent of peanuts grew stale and rotten. The lone speaker sounded as if it had shorted out and the waltz sounded distorted. An arrow pointed toward a lone attraction, boasting of a HALL OF MIRRORS, and the cardboard facade was painted with a large, garish clown’s smile. The entrance was through his mouth, through a barrel that steadily tilted to throw anyone walking over it off-balance. At the end was a thin line of razorblades, which slid back and out of the way just before whoever approached got too close. The waltz cut off and was replaced with eerie laughter. 

“Do you have an appointment?” The voice came from everywhere and nowhere. It sounded disembodied, as if it belonged to a ghost. The rotating lights showed a number of rooms to choose from: one with a large, spinning disk, an upside-down room, a ball pit, and the promised Hall of Mirrors.

Harley stared at the cardboard smile, her heart pounding so loudly that she could hear it in her ears. She knew exactly who was inside that Hall of Mirrors. A carnival arriving in the city after Joker’s escape from Arkham wasn’t something that she could ignore. As much as she didn’t want to face him again, or even hear his voice, she knew that she had to. If she didn’t, he’d come and find her, which would be far worse. Facing him now meant that she didn’t have to live in fear, looking over her shoulder every few seconds to see if he was following or nearby. 

After taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves, Harley stepped through that stupid grin, and into the attraction. As the barrel moved to knock her off balance, she held her arms out and steadied herself, walking further inside. When her eyes caught sight of the razor blades glimmering in the light, she closed them and clenched her fists. Her nails dug into the palms of her hands, leaving crescent-shaped dents in her skin. She hadn’t even faced him yet, and she felt like she was going to throw up. 

Laughter suddenly echoed around her, and Harley felt a shiver run down her spine. It really was him. She’d know that laugh anywhere. “No,” she answered, opening her eyes and looking at the lights. She didn’t want to go inside any of the rooms -- she didn’t trust him. “I didn’t think I needed one,” she said, loud enough for him to hear her from wherever he was lurking. Hopefully, he would be in a good mood, and wouldn’t put her through anything too terrible. It had been months since they’d last seen each other, after all. It wasn’t too much to hope for a friendly reunion, was it?

“So, yer a free man again,“ she said, finally deciding on the ball pit. “Are ya gonna come out an’ face me, or is hidin’ more yer style now, Mistah J?”

[harleyquinnsquad]

♦  Harley Quinn; Clown Queen of Mischief 

[harlsquinns-blog]

@hearthecanarycry:

Dinah had been secluded to her – to Ollie’s – apartment so the news of the prison break took some time to reach her. She was itching to get out there and help, something that she hadn’t wanted in such a long time. But somehow, Dinah knew that getting out there and helping people would make her actually feel like herself. Still, a little rebar through your abs slowed you down for a few days.

There was a knock at the door and Dinah curled her fists, ready for whatever fight had come to her front door. Ollie and Sof had keys. Zee didn’t know how to use a door, and Rose would have given her the heads up. She cracked the door open slowly and then flung it open when she realized who was at the door. Harley Quinn – only clown she loved and a good friend. A good friend who was covered in blood and shaking like a leaf. Joker. If there had really been a break at Arkham, then she should have known that this was coming. She should have been there to help her friend. “Harley, come on,” she said softly, ushering her friend to the couch and looking her over to see if she could find the source of the blood. “Can you tell me what’s hurting?”

It all happened so quickly -- one second Harley was shooting at one guy, and the next there were three of them surrounding her. She was outnumbered, and her only way to escape was to put her gymnastics skills to the test. Most of their hits were dodged, but one of them had luck on his side and managed to slash her abdomen. Harley considered it a win, though, because they’d come off far worse than she had. Bullets were faster than knives, and whatever makeshift weapons they could grab. 

Dinah’s apartment was the nearest place to her, and she knew that her friend would have bandages and something to ease the discomfort. She hadn’t checked the wound yet, but she knew that it was bleeding significantly as she pressed a shaking hand against her stomach. It shouldn’t have worried her as much as it did, she’d been through way worse -- but the adrenaline rush was beginning to wear off, and Harley suddenly felt very fragile.

 After knocking on Dinah’s door, she leaned against the wall, giving the woman a forced smile when the door opened. “I’m fine, I swear,” she said, following Dinah into the apartment and taking a seat on the couch. “I just uhh...” She lifted up her shirt and looked down at the wound. “Ooh, that’s nasty,” she murmured, then looked up at her friend. “Got any bandaids an’ vodka?”  

[harlsquinns-blog]

myrtlejenkinss‌:

When Mrytle heard the familiar voice, she raised her head. Catching the sight of Harley Quinn walking towards her. Her distinctive style and clear as day accent made her hard not to recognize her from the media. Bats disturbed her stomach as the other said that she could easily take on the Arkham inmate. She could? Harley Quinn, the second hand woman to one of the most infamous criminals in the world- let alone Gotham, had faith in her. She blinked with shock as she watched the spectacle before her as Harley did her thing. Smashing in the man’s head with her bat. Without much thought, Myrtle let out an excited squeal as Lenny hit the ground. 

Admiration sparkled in the woman’s eyes as she took in Harley in front of her. “Wow! You’re so… I mean, you’re even cooler in person.” She said. Myrtle swallowed. She should probably play it cool. “You said I could have taken him, right?” Her smile curled her lips, “Would you mind maybe… showing me how? How you fight I mean.” The idea of Harley mentoring her made her heart swell with excitement, but she didn’t know if Harley would even be interested. 

As amused grin spread across Harley’s face as she heard the other woman squeal. It was an unexpected reaction, but she enjoyed it. “Y’know who I am?” she asked, wiping the blood off her baseball bat with the sleeve of her jacket. “I guess my hair an’ skin kinda gives it away, huh?” It had been a while since someone knew who she was without introduction. Perhaps this stranger was from Gotham. “Thanks, though! I love livin’ up ta my reputation,” she said with a chuckle. 

When the other asked if she’d teach her how to fight, Harley considered it for a moment, chewing her gum loudly while twirling a lock of her hair around her index finger. “Sure! Why not. I ain’t got nothin’ better ta do these days. Plus, I ain’t taught someone how ta fight before. It sounds like fun.” She shrugged her shoulders and leaned into the woman. “Y’ever punched someone before? That’s probably a good place ta start. It’s exhilaratin’!” 

[wonder-deactivated20201119]

And Batman is allowing one of his worst enemies to walk around free for what reason?

[harlsquinns-blog]

superbxyclxne‌:

@harlsquinns

Conner had just gotten out of Zatanna’s building, he went to her place, and she wasn’t there, he was trying to stay calm, she probably was just busy, still out there fighting, and protecting people, he kept telling himself that, because he had to be strong, and couldn’t freak out, he had to stay focused, but the fear of losing her was bigger. As he was heading to put his suit back on, so he could go back to the fight, he ran into someone, he recognized her quickly, from the picture. “Oh, hey, Harley,” he gave her a half smile “Glad to see that you’re okay, and that nothing happened to you in this mess.”

Harley made her way towards Zatanna’s apartment, weaving her way through crowds of people fighting on the street. She needed her friend to heal another minor injury for her, and hopefully not turn her into a bunny in the process. When someone bumped into her, she stumbled back, then looked up at them. How did he know her name? “Hey! Thanks, I guess?” Her brow furrowed, and she pursed her lips as she stared at his face. He looked vaguely familiar. “Oh! I know who ya are!” She gave him a bright, friendly smile. “Yer that guy, from Zee’s snap stories! How’s it goin’?” she asked. “Speakin’ of Zee, have ya seen her? I need her ta... stick a bandaid on somethin’ fer me.” 

[harlsquinns-blog]

ofbrucewayne‌:

Harley seemed to be in a good mood, however he still kept his guard up. “Thanks for the invitation.” He asnwered, Batman did got an invitation as Bruce however there was no way of her knowing that, maybe Batman would make a small appearance at her wedding. “Not much.” He answered seeing another prisoner walk by behind Harley without hesitation he point his gun and shot him on the arm making him sleep with the others.

“I see that yer still a top-notch conversationalist, Bats.” Batman raised his gun, and Harley turned around to see who he was shooting at. A small laugh escaped her as she looked at the prisoner on the ground, sleeping soundly. “A real bullet would keep him down fer longer,” she said, grinning as she faced her old friend again. “But I know that ain’t yer style. Say the word, though, an’ I’ll do it for ya.” She paused for a moment, then held her hands up to prove she wasn’t serious. “Just kiddin’. Please don’t sleep dart me.” 

[harlsquinns-blog]

ofselinakyles‌:

“I haven’t thought that far.” In truth, Selina tried to be the one that thought about everything. Pam was the calculated one and Harley was the heart. That’s how it worked out but right now? Selina had nothing? What would Pam do? Probably not preoccupy herself with this nonsense. “I guess we leave them chained to whatever remains, we get our records and burn them.” As if she was going to do all of this and NOT save her ass and her friends. Harley’s warning shot made her jump slightly and she began to do as she had proposed, tying one of the inmates up to the leg of a desk. Is this what hero work was like? “Yeah, we gotta be good girls now, remember? Pam would be proud.” Kinda. But saying it would help Harley realize it’s for the best. When she heard the second gunshot, Selina cringed and shook her head. The guy had been known for manipulating female inmates. He deserved it. What was she really learning or teaching here if she let the scum of the world get away with shit like that? When she finished tying up the man, she walked over to Harley and gestured toward the records room. After a few minutes of silence she whispered to her best friend. “Is he dead?” 

"Burn our records? Now yer speakin’ my language.” Harley knew that burning her records wouldn’t really make a difference -- people knew everything about her without having to read them. If someone wanted to throw her back into an asylum cell, they wouldn’t have to try too hard. Harley Quinn was notoriously bad. Still, watching them go up in flames would be fun. “I’ve tried ta be a good girl fer too long,” she drawled, dusting some dirt off her jacket. When she spotted another inmate trying to get away, she ran towards them and jumped on their back, knocking them to the ground. “Oof, good thing I had a soft landin’,” she said, patting the person on the back before rolling off them and dragging them by the leg to Selina. 

She stared down at the guard, a smile on her face as she watched him bleed out. Why hadn’t she done this sooner? It was what he deserved. Selina gestured to the records room, and Harley nodded. “Let’s go.” Is he dead? She didn’t know the answer to that question, but she really hoped that he was. He couldn’t hurt inmates ever again, while he was rotting in hell. “Hopefully,” she answered, holstering her gun. “I can check fer a pulse on our way out. If he still has one, I’m gonna be real annoyed.”