RIDDICK, NO CHRONICLES. SOME PITCH BLACK, HOWEVER.
Stayed awake for the second viewing of Riddick this time (less a reflection on the film, more a reflection on my energy levels), and I can safely say that Riddick is a blast if you enjoy Vin Diesel Fanfiction. As someone who would without question, doubt, or hesitation sign on to a series of films wherein I play Me But I'm Actually A Badass Pulp Fantasy Warrior In A Scifi Universe, I can in no way begrudge Vin Diesel the whole Riddick thing. In fact, I wish we lived in a world (IN A WORLD...) where Riddick spawned the mega-franchise Twohy and Diesel envisioned. I wish the same for the James Purefoy Solomon Kane movie but that's another review.
Riddick's plot is are you fucking kidding me jesus christ. Spoiler alert, this isn't the Riddick movie where David Twohy decides to go all Louis Malle on us. There's an alien planet, there's Riddick, there's monsters, there's mercenaries. The three factions unsurprisingly cannot come to any sort of truce. You may be asking yourself "Isn't this the plot of Pitch Black?" and my answer is "You're watching the third movie in the Riddick series, you don't get to complain about plot, and anyway it's a perfectly fine plot." Including a perfunctory "Why isn't this the sequel to the King Conan ending of The Chronicles of Riddick" flashback" (featuring KARL URBAN in WACKY ARMOR so you know it's good) the beginning third of the movie is Vin Diesel Versus Nature as he struggles to survive on Planet Not-Furya (seriously that's its name) against, you know. Gooey stuff. He makes a dog friend? Anyway, Vin Diesel triumphs over nature and we advance to....
THE PART WITH THE MERCS. Two teams, one lead by Whatshisname, one lead by Otherguy. Whatshisname has DAVE BAUTISTA working for him, showcasing the deadpan humor that served Drax so well. Otherguy has STARBUCK FROM THE BSG REMAKE working for him, showcasing, er, a fairly questionable take on lesbian sexuality in all honesty. I guess the sexual politics of the film would be easier if Starbuck identified as bi but anyway...
Seriously. This is Pitch Black III. You get gruff manly man man man bullshit and gooey aliens and witty one-liners. It's Hemingway In Space. You either like it or you don't. For my part, the whole Riddick thing is so utterly the product of two single-minded individuals that I *respect* the films as much as I enjoy them. I'm glad they exist. Riddick is the definition of a B-grade sci-fi actioner and if you think that's a slam on the movie then you're part of the problem. It's a classic plot for a reason, and everyone is having so much fun with the material that it's absolutely infectious.
Plus the movie sets up a King Conan-er sequel. Here's to Riddick IV-IX.
















