Fallen angels signifying a seeker dying

[hatfullofwind]

Что если после того как Ацуши попал в Лондон, он также может переместиться в прошлое, не далёкое от своего настоящего? Примерно в то время, когда Дазай подобрал Акутагаву и обучал его.

Это выглядело бы жутко для него. Он не видел воочию тёмную сторону Дазая и когда тот будет мучить Рюноскэ всеми способами, Ацуши просто будет безмолвно сжимать кулаки, с чётким осознанием, что ему нельзя вмешиваться. Это не только может исказить будущее/его настоящее; при неосторожности Дазай и Акутагава могут запомнить его. Тому Накаджиме Ацуши, которого выгнали из приюта из-за неуправляемой способности, это не нужно. Ведь это будет значить, что Дазай помог ему намеренно, зная кто он такой, и для того, чтобы Ацуши был в поле зрения. Но если его запомнит Рюноскэ... Стакан наполовину полон или чай.

Все в курсе, что Дазай так поступал с Акутагавой для того, чтобы он выжил. Это Мафия тёмной эры, здесь можно умереть или попасться в любой момент из-за предосудительного отношения и недооценки, или наоборот, переоценки противника. Но если Ацуши будет видеть, как Дазай бьёт Рюноскэ и говорит жестокие слова по отношению к нему, он ведь может и не выдержать. И тогда Накаджима тоже включается в игру.

Будет кидать мелкие камни в сторону Дазая, палки, если найдёт, и стрелы. Потому что он хочет, чтобы Акутагава встретил его в будущем и попытался схватить и утащить для сделки. Чтобы Рюноскэ встал на его сторону в битве с Фицджеральдом, Гончаровым и Фукучи, хочет, чтобы он пожертвовал собой для побега Ацуши от капитана Ищеек. Хочет неожиданного возвращения Акутагавы, когда Ацуши уже скорбел...

Хочет, чтобы Акутагава его любил.

[hatfullofwind]

Долгий кофе по утру делает его ещё более сонным. Укутывается в шарф, осенние листья топчутся под ногами, мальчик обращает внимание на их многоцветье. Дожди смыли их с деревьев, но окрасили в яркие живые цвета.

Ацуши тянет монотонно, почти с неохотой:

— Я хочу обратно.

Рюноскэ идёт рядом, переплетает их ладони и задумывается о зиме, снежинках, падающих на плечи дешёвых пальто.

— Тебе просто холодно. Потерпи, мы скоро придём.

Ацуши расслабляется и залипает. Ему нравится быть рядом с ним. Дорога кажется такой длинной, кто-то растрепал ногами высокую траву. Чувствует тревогу за предстоящие экзамены.

— Я не сдам.

— Не верю в эту глупость.

Как и в то, что они умрут.

Прячется за повседневностью и продолжает прокручивать моменты. В какое-то время замечает, что делает так слишком долго и обращает внимание когда не занят.

Рюноскэ сидит, переписывает что-то из учебника и он наконец, осознаёт, что ему не нравилось в его монотонности жизни.

— Я хочу быть с тобой.

[hatfullofwind]

I believe that when Atsushi arrived in London, he wasn't entirely lacking in knowledge of the local language.

In the orphanage—no matter how old-fashioned or isolated it was—the children were taught school subjects, including foreign languages. Of course, we don't know the specifics of how Atsushi studied there, but in theory... he possesses a basic grasp of English and Chinese, languages that are constantly "in the air."

His two months at the Agency demonstrated that he is a quick and capable learner. Although he was considered a detective's assistant, he was capable of handling cases much more serious than minor domestic disputes. Therefore, we should view Atsushi as a multilingual individual—someone who internalized several languages in early childhood.

Even if there was a gap of two or more months, those skills wouldn't just vanish; he would recall them, especially given his current circumstances. It’s like riding a bike.

[hatfullofwind]

I think Dazai will be the only one left to witness the deaths of those for whom death came too soon.

Kyuu, the little child locked away because of his ability. He's free now, yes, but the new Guild arc is coming, and I'm sure John will do everything he can to ensure Kyusaku, with his destructive gift, is included in his plan.

Akutagawa is only 20 years old now. If we take away the fact that he's already been killed once, turned into a vampire, and then returned, he'll die of lung disease. No matter how or where, it could still happen, possibly before he's 25.

Kunikida will die for his ideals if Dazai isn't there. Because he wavers between them, overanalyzing, but not caring about his own safety. He doesn't think about it, but after his death, everyone in the Agency, Aya, Katai, and everyone he saved before, will mourn.

Atsushi, who is killed by his own ability. The real reason he can't learn to control it is truly the difference in physical strength. Tiger is strong, but Human!Atsushi is weak. Now, according to the story, he's in 19th-century London, and I assume he's no longer under the influence of Fukuzawa's ability, meaning everything could easily repeat itself. But unless he finds a way to suppress Tiger, it'll be over for him. And even if he does, it will be to his detriment as a person.

Dazai, as a man yearning for death but unable to find it, will see this. He'll probably convince himself it's not that painful; he's seen enough death, and he's killed many times himself. But it hurt.

[hatfullofwind]

After spending so much time on missions dealing with the mafia, Atsushi realizes with horror that he desperately wants to know how to drive. It’s one of those things—he wants it so badly, yet he’ll never have it because his skills don't even reach half of the bare minimum. He looks at Yosano, remembering Ranpo, and his gaze lingers on Nakahara while thinking of Dazai. As for Osamu, he’d sooner throw himself under a passing car than get behind the wheel.

Akutagawa had run out of patience, Kunikida could no longer bear to watch Atsushi constantly screw up, and Nakajima himself had lost all hope of ever learning. After all, if he had even half of Chuuya Nakahara’s skill, he’d have his license by now.

The only person offering encouragement through these hardships was Sigma, who kept telling him to find a distraction. Atsushi immediately thought of those song lyrics about sex, drugs, and the rest, but he doubted that was quite what Sigma had in mind.

Finally, after buying an art kit and furnishing his room with all the essentials, Atsushi lost himself in his new hobby.

That is, until one day, by a twist of fate while fleeing from thugs, he and Dazai hijacked someone's car. He managed to hold out long enough that the total in fines didn't exceed his salary. Kunikida chewed him out like there was no tomorrow; Akutagawa said nothing, seeing as Atsushi lives on his dime; and Dazai was proud of the boy who had started the car without hesitation and driven the gangsters to a nervous breakdown—that’s how badly Atsushi was swerving.

Because he knew: even without knowing how to drive, he could become a real problem for more than just his friends and family.

[hatfullofwind]

The real reason shin soukoku argue not only on missions but also at home is because they're the only people they can lash out at without consequences. The most they've ever done is spend two days just silently snoring at each other. Atsushi would growl in displeasure when Ryunosuke rearranged his things; Akutagawa would hiss at him when Nakajima talked too loudly on the phone.

They're a perfect example of family life: close people are supposed to snap and yell at each other. Sometimes they love, sometimes they hate, sometimes they irritate...

But they always tolerate each other, because, "A werewolf is my test!"

[hatfullofwind]

Guys... Dostoevsky stayed in London for only eight days. The place where Atsushi was transported must be close to the hotel on Orsett Terrace where Fyodor settled down. I think he was sent there as a one-way observer with minimal support. Yes, Atsushi will see him, but it’s not a given that he’ll be able to speak at all, unless Fyodor calls out to him first.

Midway through, Atsushi will take a deep breath and tell him a few key phrases—ones that trigger Atsushi himself—and then he’ll be transported a bit further into the future. Or, perhaps he’ll stay by Fyodor’s side, because he has nowhere else to go anyway, and doing this alone is much worse than walking side by side with someone.

The Dostoevsky from his own time sent Atsushi into the past for the sole purpose of having at least one person understand his actions...

[hatfullofwind]

"Hi, hello" – Atsushi doesn't know how to greet people loudly.

We are used to hearing him speak at a normal volume in the anime, and the same goes for the manga, but there we read his lines in our own heads using our own voices. In reality, when it comes to morning greeting rituals, he is only capable of croaking something out in response or simply nodding.

Atsushi isn't used to this; it’s all new to him. Even when he tries to speak as clearly as possible, he fails. Partly because he isn't a morning person, and partly because for the eighteen years prior to joining the Agency, he never once wished anyone a "good morning" in his life—he only wished they would leave him alone as quickly as possible.

However, once the clock strikes noon, he effortlessly transforms into a sweet and polite young man who will even wish you a nice day at the end of a conversation.

That is why, when Dazai assigns him and Akutagawa a mission at six in the morning, the absolute bare minimum Atsushi does is show up four hours late with the excuse: "I was choosing what to wear and got carried away" (even though he wears the exact same thing every single day).

[hatfullofwind]

The first person Atsushi would start showering with compliments would be Sigma. The first time it happens, Atsushi drops the words almost casually, mixing them in with whatever else they are discussing. Sigma doesn't notice at first, but then his cheeks flush faintly, and he gives a slight frown, glancing at Nakajima, who just keeps babbling away. The same thing happens a second, a third, and many more times, but at some point, Atsushi says—without any preamble—that Sigma looks wonderful today, just as he always does. And Sigma is simply at a loss.

It’s because our dear friend is empathetic; he can feel not only how threads snap but also when it’s time to say something kind to cheer someone up. With his emotional ups and downs, Sigma is the perfect person for this. Atsushi doesn’t even need to search for special words or speak openly about his feelings while looking him in the eye. It is enough to just walk up and say something sweet for a couple of minutes to make the day feel a little less bleak.

[hatfullofwind]

I don't want Atsushi to return to the present. Yes, Dazai would lose a student, a friend, and someone he truly cares about—someone whose opinion actually matters to him. Akutagawa would lose his challenge, his rival, his partner, his soulmate—whatever Nakajima represents to him. But I don’t mean this as a permanent loss for the rest of their lives.

The mechanics of time in BSD aren't as thoroughly explored as they are in Doctor Who, so here, time feels more like a fluid substance that can be adjusted, however difficult that may be. And someone has done just that, sending Atsushi to Victorian England.

So, what if only three or four months pass for Dazai and Akutagawa, while for Atsushi, it’s years? He would grow up, perhaps get taller, change his hair, and start wearing glasses. But when Atsushi is finally brought back to his own 'present,' all those physical changes quickly fade away. He lived through years, yet here, only months have passed; his body remains unchanged, as if he never left.

And when he finally reunites with the others, he will see in their faces the reflection of those very years he spent in the past.

[hatfullofwind]

We never truly realize how deeply a person is tied to their roots. Perspectives, habits, character, culture, temperament—all of these can be altered, much like the branches of a plant. But when a flaw emerges, you realize that this perhaps minor imperfection will stay with you until the end of life. Yet, it pales in significance before a blank page.

I believe this is why the orphanage director let Atsushi go: he wanted to give him freedom. Not that it helped much – Atsushi cannot fully feel it yet – but at the very end, Kyoka gave a vital clue: if there is no foundation beneath your feet, you can become anyone.

I hope Atsushi uses this to avoid falling into the same cycle as Dazai and the Detective Agency, as he didn't join them of his own free will. He was let down by not knowing who he was or the harm he could cause, but now, the idea is theoretically possible. And if he tries hard enough, he might enjoy seeking something for himself (provided he doesn't look for a way to return to his own time).

[hatfullofwind]

Atsushi works quite a lot at the agency and with various people, running errands, but he tries not to think about it during the day, and he does a great job at it. Until he arrives at the dormitory and is left alone with his thoughts, which are filled with the dialogues of the day, especially before bedtime. He falls asleep by two or three in the morning, and wakes up too early due to the strict schedule at the orphanage. The consequences result in stress, six cups of coffee a day, and noticeable sluggishness when communicating with others. This is because his brain is accustomed to not thinking about it and following the established routine.

And when he moves in with Akutagawa, things get even worse, because now there are way more of those phrases than before. Atsushi tries reading, stares at his phone, watches something, but even when he drags it out until 3 AM, he’s still tossing and turning in bed. Ryunosuke doesn't rush him or touch him, giving him personal space, but deep down, he hopes Atsushi will just come up and say it. But Atsushi never does.

He laughs it off, changes the subject, says everything is fine and that Ryunosuke is overthinking it. And in the end, he does ask for help—just not from him.

With bags under his eyes, looking exhausted and chronically sleep-deprived, he approaches the only person who knows his struggle. Dazai is practically crying and laughing at the same time, but he sends him back to Akutagawa, because as one wise man said: "If you two keep staying silent, you'll just grow apart, and that’ll be it—everything's gonna go to hell."

[hatfullofwind]

I feel a little sorry for Atsushi from the last chapters of Kafka-sensei, who decided that it was time to end his iconic era of audacity. Seriously, at the beginning of the manga and in the wan! stories, he was ready to kick Dazai's ass, even when everyone knew that he was a former mafia member. And if the shinsoukou had been given more time in the timeline of the main manga, Akutagawa would have heard pointed remarks about himself every five times that Atsushi said something, like how he understood why Dazai had left him (because he had repeated it!! ) After "55 minutes," he was put in his place, and only in chapter 124 was he given a chance to speak with the phrase "couldn't you come up with something smarter?"

Literally, this boy has more potential, and he could send the entire heavenly pavilion to hell, but he's too busy saving the world to be sarcastic in the company of 1000+ year.

[hatfullofwind]

When Chuuya or Akutagawa gets close to BEAST!Atsushi, he simply turns his head away and stays dead still, trying not to draw attention to his sweating palms. But when BEAST!Dasai does the same, Atsushi loses himself; he can’t take a single step back because he’s already pinned against the wall. Dasai grabs his wrists, pinning them above his head, and stares into his eyes, turning his very soul inside out. He exerts such pressure that Atsushi confesses to things he hasn’t even done—and never will. It’s because he realizes that the current Boss terrifies him; Dasai is a complete enigma, and the impossibility of predicting his next move makes it even scarier when he approaches. And perhaps Kyouka is the only person he isn't afraid to let that close...

[hatfullofwind]

After another mission in Shinsoukoku, when Atsushi went against Akutagawa's wishes and did things his own way, Akutagawa was ready to tear him apart with indignation. Atsushi claims that this is normal because he has done it many times before and has always gotten away with it, but Ryunosuke doesn't understand the meaning of "normal" in Atsushi's context. Nakajima once replied: "It corresponds to a specific type, standard, and consistent pattern!" – In his case, it is a pattern.

That day, Ryunosuke came closer to understanding another person.

[hatfullofwind]

In the Dark Age, ordinary police officers are investigating a series of murders committed by mafia associates. They are searching for clues and witnesses, as well as interviewing local residents. Upon examining each body, it becomes clear that the killer is a lone wolf who has been eliminating "unnecessary" members of the organization. Interestingly, the killer used his left hand on the last victim, while he used his right hand on the others. If he instinctively uses his left hand, it suggests that he is a left-handed individual who intentionally switches hands.

Dazai, who passes by, remarks: "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but I'm ambidextrous."

[hatfullofwind]

The moment when Akutagawa caught Atsushi in the Rasyomon and bit him in the Airport arc is 100% undeveloped. It's like they just threw him in there and left it at that, without any development or consequences, because they needed to keep the story moving forward. However, in BSD, there are multiple universes, and some of the worlds are completely different. Imagine that in one of these universes, the protagonist's body is engaged in a battle between a tiger and a vampire, with one of them emerging victorious. There would be a question of whose ability is stronger, Bram or Atsushi, and since Fukuzawa suppresses the latter, the answer is obvious. Literally, if Atsushi were made a vampire, there would be no key that could lead to the Book; it would be just a machine for carrying out small orders from guarding to killing, unable to free itself and escape. So, against Akutagawa, he will lose for the first time, because Ryunosuke is not forced to tolerate the conflict between one ability and another.

And when Bram is finally killed, all the converts will get rid of the vampirism gene, except for Atsushi, because the tiger can take on someone else's abilities (in this case, the crossbreeding of the Shin abilities played a significant role). Over time, this would have disappeared, but it left a small reminder that Atsushi had experienced this. In a series of fan stories, when he is displeased with a person's behavior, he not only hisses at them but also bites their hand, for example.