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Warnings: Spiders :3 Jack calls himself dad but its not a sexual thing, more of like its a very dad thing to deal with bugs.
When Jack heard the scream from where he stood in the kitchen echoing all the way from the spare bedroom, he came running- and forgot to turn off the stove.
"baby? You okay?"
When he opened the cracked door, Jack was surprised to see that no, you weren't on the floor dead and dying. You were, infact, standing on top of the bed and crying.
"KILL IT!" You screamed, pointing to the, admittedly large, spider on the floor.
"Dayum, she's huge..." He steps closer and the spider scurries a little more towards the bed, and you scream as if its coming to attack you.
"JACK!"
He didn't mean to laugh, because you were obviously upset, but it was amusing. He put his hands on his hips and looked up at where you wobbled on the spring mattress. "Now, what are you doing all the way up here."
You frown. "I was trying to get a stain out because ROBBY got his greasy ass biker boots on my white sheets even though I TOLD HIM to take off his boots, and then THIS FUCKER!" You point at the spider, "CRAWLED ON MY ARM!"
Okay, he did feel bad for you, because that might even scare him.
"Alright, alright now, relax, dads coming to your rescue." He walks over, hoping that you're in enough of a tizzy to not notice he's got his boots on in the house, and just happy your going to kill it. Jack steps, boot casting a shadow over the spider-
"WAAAAIT!"
Jack puts his boot down and for a moment the spider is safe. "What now? Another one after you?"
"Don't." You deadpan. "Done even fucking joke, Jack Abbot. No, I mean you can't kill it! that's cruel!"
"You just told me to kill it!"
"Not literally! Spiders are an important part of the ecosystem and they keep other bugs are bay, acting like natural pesticides!"
All Jack could do was blink at you. Sometimes, it was hard to follow your train of thought and right now, you sounded like an info sheet spread around by a pro-spider super PAC to endorse a spider candidate.
"So... you want me too."
"Pick up the spider, and move it somewhere else!"
So Jack did just that. Letting the creepy little thing crawl on his hand, Jack walked out the room and to the balcony where he placed him gently on the railing. "Some day, I'm going to need help and you're going to come and rescue me, right? Right."
When he came back, he reached a hand to you and you screamed again.
"IS THE SPIDER IN YOUR HAND"
"No! God damn! I tease you but I'm not going to do that shit to you. Get your ass over here." Hesitant, you step forward and jack puts his hands around your wastes, helping you down from the bed.
"There. Happy ending. Everyone made it out alive."
Just then, the fire alarm went off. "AH SHIT MY HAMBERHELPER!"
The hamburger helper did not make it out alive. Jack took you out to dinner to make up for teasing you.
I love love loved this. Unfortunately Iâm a cunt and WOULD have made him kill it. Thereâs a spider in my utility room thatâs been there for the past 2 weeks and I still havenât plucked up the courage to kill it yet.
I loved this though. Why donât I have a Jack Abbott to get rid of my spiders???
coming up behind him in the kitchen and just wrapping your arms around his waist, a firm set of abs covered by a soft lil tummy.
laying your head on his stomach while watching an 80âs movie that has a great soundtrack but definitely didnât age well, head bouncing and vibrating every time he talks or laughs.
his stomach pressing into yours when heâs fucking you missionary, flushed and freckled because his irish skin will always always always give him away.
his warm, soft tummy squished up against your back when he has you in a lethal cuddle in bed (more like a headlock, youâre not going anywhere) your skin sticking together
the lil peek of tummy when he lifts his arms to stretch or grab something that you definitely try to bite if youâre in the comfort of your own home. even better if you can see one of your old bite marks fading.
