I never wanted this

bpd / ptsd / mdd / gad / adhd? / vent blog / triggerwarning

[bpd-bitchy]

and for my next trick, i will feel absolutely everything and absolutely nothing at the exact same time and maintain a perfectly straight face

[highschoolhandjobs]

i used to think i was anxious and depressed for no reason but turns out it's the trauma and i have to practice "healthy behavior" ugh fucking annoying

[dykeselfcest]

[adhighdefinition]

using daydreaming as a coping mechanism is fun until you realize that none of it will ever be remotely real and you end up more depressed than before

[thisisyourcaptain]

An autobiography

[nisaexploresadhd]

adhd is: getting really excited about the idea of things.. but never getting around to them

[aftersnap]

My ADHD brain: you forgot something.

Me: what?

Brain: what?

[cosmiccatherder]

Neurotypical person: If you really cared you would have remembered

Me: I have adhd I literally have a neurotransmitter deficit that prevents me from remembering things

Also me: I’ve had this condition my entire life and I’ve gotten in the habit of writing everything down to compensate for my shit memory but I did not write what you said down because I do not, in fact, care

[abcsofadhd]

*checks time, 1 am*: “I’ll go to sleep in 5 minutes”

*checks time again, 2:41 am”: “I’ll go to sleep at 3″

*checks time again, 4 am*: “Fuck it, I’ll just stay up, I need to get up at 8 anyways”

*wakes up, checks time, 11 am*: “ARGHHHHHH, not again!”

[anachronistic-cat]

I put the fun in executive dysfunction

[abcsofadhd]

Learning to cope is all about figuring out how you tick and working around your difficulties.

For example, the hardest part of cooking for me is preparing the ingredients… So to get around that, buy pre chopped and frozen vegetables. Or do it yourself in bulk when you have the spoons for it.

I usually get frozen onions and peppers cause if I buy them fresh, I end up throwing em away. But frozen stuff keeps for much longer.

Another example is that I found myself delaying going out to buy groceries cause putting on socks and shoes is an effort (I know its odd). So now I just wear sandals and so it’s much easier.

It’s the little things that make a difference. And little stuff can add up to living easier.

[honey-sunny-bee]

Me on my meds: functional, decent human being, remembers to shower and do laundry

Me off my meds for literally one (1) day: trash goblin, always hungry, freaks out about losing my wallet while it’s literally still in my hand

[ghost--lights]

Me: hey brain could we maybe do something

Brain: No. It is now time for Sit In The Bathroom and stare at Wall for an hour

Me: oh okay

[juzt-peachy]

ADHD brain be like:

[adhd-asd]

ADHD test: asks if I experience a symptom

Me, who has spent 20 years masking symptoms and struggling to form a consistent identity: ………..maybe?

[qhronophobia]

adhd gothic

you want to watch a movie. you put it on. two hours have passed. you haven’t watched the movie. there are five new tasks in front of you. you want to watch a different movie.

there is an object in your hand. it is extremely important you don’t lose it. you look down. there is nothing in your hand.

you don’t know your friend’s name. you’ve been friends for months. they just told you their name. you do not know their name.

your friend doesn’t laugh at your joke. why didn’t they laugh? do they hate you? they assure you otherwise. you know they are lying. did they ever like you?

someone asks you what you just said. did you say something? you said so many things. you said nothing. you said everything.

there is something you’re forgetting. you check. you check again. there is nothing you’re forgetting. there is something you’re forgetting.

you had something to say. you can’t remember. it was important. wasn’t it? you can’t remember. 

there is a task that needs to be done. it should take ten minutes. you check the clock. it’s been five minutes. you check the clock. it’s been two days.

[borderlinepdfeels]

[100493503004422]

*panics but in a super chill & casual way*