What Ryan's Thinking @hawaiiandemigod - Tumblr Blog

Dear Diary,

They say never stick your dick in crazy. But I just shit it out and rolled around in it.

I just realized my girlfriend has tits.

#epiphany #realizations #girlfriends #boobies

I'm sorry, that last post was really obscene. I'm not like that any more, I've changed, guys.

Ya'll, I'm tryna do some card tricks and this bitch is calling me out on everything, like fuck this shit, I'm done, you ain't gonna catch me amusing yo ass again.

#card tricks #bitches #need your love

Ya'll, my doo-doo hole clogged up. There is no punch line.

#constption #no punch line

I'm watching my friend play The Last of Us and it reminds me of when I go to Wal-Mart and be pushing down ugly people on my way to the ice cream and tampon aisle like "SWERVE"

#tampons #ice cream #the last of us #walmart #ugly #uggo #uggs #white girls

Update on my life (URGENT PLEASE READ)

I pooped a few times and I‘been really horny.

#fecal matter #hiv #foodporn #regular porn #horned up #kiss me plz

I have dimples on my butt, but only one dimple on my face... WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME, GOD?

#dimples #butt #ask god #thanks obama

Charlotte was nice and all, but I was really expecting more gun-toting prostitutes and ill-mannered pimps.

#charlotte #visiting #big ass mall #pimps #ho #guns and shit

Oh, and Will fucking cuddled me in my sleep. That was some gay ass shit you did, Will. I mean I liked it... it was just gay as hell.

#gay #cuddling #black queers #sleep cuddle #sleepover #dude on dude action

So I've been seeing this girl that I really like. I've been so happy lately that it inspired me to make this. <3

#love #quotes #grafitti #ladybugs #hearts #relationships #help there's a black man that i don't know in my house

In case my followers wondered what I look like. It’s an old picture of me and my ex-boyfriend on our way to Six Flags for Arbor Day.

#six flags #tiger #selfie #gpoy

The true key to happiness is hitting the snooze button as much as possible.

#snooze #saturday #laziness

I am cuddling the fuck out of this girl... now if only Will would go away ad Tripp didn't snore.

#cuddling #chocolate chaser #black chicks #hard wiener

I have a solution for immigration:

We get a prostitute with a giant vagina to sit at the border, facing the American side, and spread her legs. Her massive vagina will immediately start sucking in all the illegals in the area, like some kind of mustache-and-Pine Sol hungry vacuum. Now when they're all tucked safely inside her snatch, we will have her turn around and face the other side of the border. With one giant queef, she will expel the illegals from her clownhole, sending them back from whence they came. The experience will have been so terrible that they'll just go ahead and stay over there until people don't care so much about illegal immigration anymore.

This solution will also help people that are feeling the recession. Imagine the entertainment value in seeing Mexicans from all over being sucked in by a giant pocket of air, holding on to lamp-posts and little white children, shouting "POR QUE????" as they go flying into a prostitute's giant fish taco.

You're welcome, Obama.

#immigration #solution #prostitution #border #mexicans #nightblogging

One big room full of bad bitches? Why can't they just behave? :(

#kreyshawn #bad bitches #pondering #why god why

Plus, my rectum fell through and it stopped being "pooping" so much as loosely formed turds running down my pant leg.

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