It can still be abuse even if you have good memories of them.
It can still be abuse even if they've stood up for you against other threats.
It can still be abuse even if there were moments of gentleness.
It can still be abuse even if they once felt safe.
It can still be abuse even if they offer you gifts.
It can still be abuse even if they fed you, clothed you, and provided you a roof.
It can still be abuse even if you still feel love for them, even after the things they've done.
And it can still be abuse even if they love you.
Abuse isn't always an endless torment with no breaks in between. There are often moments of peace, and words of comfort, and times where they protect you.
And it's the good things they do that make it hard to leave. That make you feel guilt, or even nostalgia, at times.
But no amount of positive interaction can make up for it if your loved ones hurt you, repeatedly, for all your life.
If they beat you down, scream at you, judge you, hit you, emotionally manipulate and guilt trip you, neglect you, or any number of harmful acts that leave you wounded and scared, they are abusive.
And it's good to be mindful that both the positive and the negative can exist in the same person.
If you think abuse is just an endless stream of the negative, then you won't recognize it as abuse if your abuser isn't always cruel.
If you think abuse requires an absence of love, then you run the risk of seeing love from an abuser, and missing the harm they've caused.
And the most important step to escaping abuse is to realize you're being abused in the first place.
Abuse is still abuse, even if in the presence of positive experiences.
You shouldn't have to suffer to be loved.
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