lgbtq ramblings

various lgbtq opinions - he/him - minor - queer

[hayden-thelizard69]

Blocklist

i know a lot of people see blocking other people online as a sign of weakness, but here are my reasons why it’s not

1. some people can’t mentally handle people saying shitty stuff to them, so it’s better for their mental health to just block and move on

2. even if it was a sign of weakness, why does that matter? not everyone is able to deal with harsh criticism online

3. some people can get really hateful comments (ie misgendering, racism, homophobia) that don’t deserve to be engaged with

people don’t need a reason to block someone

you can block me, i can block you, the world isn’t going to change

[hayden-thelizard69]

stop

i had a post up about my problem with terfs within the lesbian community and a lot of people took it as an opportunity to misgender me

i took it down since it was obviously controversial and i don’t want to offend people

i said some things that definitely didn’t come across how i meant them to, and i sincerely apologize to anyone i hurt

but please don’t misgender me? i’m not a straight girl, i have gender dysphoria

someone called me non-passing, which i don’t really care about but that person has never seen a picture of me, so they don’t know if i pass (which i do, so)

if you’re going to disagree with what i’m saying, go ahead and make your argument, but you can do that without misgendering me and making me feel like shit

[hayden-thelizard69]

Bisexuality vs Pansexuality

there’s a lot of debate over the sexuality ‘pansexual’

people say it’s biphobic, transphobic, etc.

HOWEVER coming from a trans man who has previously identified as both bi and pan

i’m going to see pansexuality is neither biphobic nor transphobic

pansexuality is an attraction to all genders

bisexuality is generally an attraction to men and women (but some people do use the label bisexual for themselves when they’re attracted to people regardless of gender)

bisexuality has always included trans people, since trans men/women are still men/women

bisexuality doesn’t necessarily include nonbinary people or people of other genders, but that is FINE! people are allowed to not be attracted to nb people

pansexual isn’t biphobic, it’s another term that people use when they don’t like the term bi for themselves

that was very weirdly written so i hope you guys understand the point i’m trying to make lol

[hayden-thelizard69]

PSA

i’m aware that since I post discourse/controversial stuff, a lot of people aren’t going to agree with me

that’s totally fine, i don’t want to make everyone agree with me

you’re allowed to have different beliefs than me, but this doesn’t mean that i’m going to want to be your friend and have a lovely conversation

often when i’m debating with someone i can get easily fired up, and i’d like to avoid that so i’m not rude to too many people

[hayden-thelizard69]

Slurs

so i’m going to be discussing lgbtq related slurs in this post, so if that makes you uncomfy dont read!

there are obviously a lot of slurs used against people in the lgbtq community

lots of people will say things like ‘can i say *insert slur* if I’m *insert gender/sexuality*

the bottom line is don’t say the slur unless it applies to you, and even then, make sure you’re reading the room because some people do have legitimate trauma surrounding certain slurs

Q*eer - this is a slur that has been used against the lgbtq+ community, specifically non hetero people - most people don’t see this as a slur, but some do so it should still be treated as a slur just in case

D**e - a slur against lesbians, this has been mostly reclaimed within the lesbian community

F*g - this slur has been used against the whole community, gay men in particular - this slur comes from the british term for cigarette and refers to rolling gay men in carpets and setting them on fire - some people have reclaimed this slur, but many haven’t, this slur is probably one to avoid no matter what

tr*nny - used against trans people, often referring to trans women - this slur is not reclaimed by most of the community and can be a very sensitive word for many trans people

tr*p - refers to how trans women supposedly try to ‘trap’ straight men into dating them - i’m not 100% sure but i’m fairly sure that most trans women have not reclaimed this slur

h*mo - obviously homosexual isn’t a slur, but ‘homo’ is often used by straight people as a slur to gay men and lesbian women

sh*male - another one that generally refers to trans women

transtrender - not quite a slur, but is used in an offensive way from some trans people to other trans people

gay - again, not a slur, but cishets do tend to use this in a deragatory way

[hayden-thelizard69]

Ace Discourse

so in case you don’t know, asexual is when someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction, and aromantic is when someone doesn’t experience romantic attraction

i myself am somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum, which definitely makes me qualified to discuss this

there’s some discussion among the lgbtq community whether ace/aro people are really part of the lgbtq community - opinions range from yes no matter what to only if they are also some other part of the community (trans, homoromantic, etc)

my personal opinion is that any person who identifies as asexual and heteroromantic (and cisgender) isn’t technically part of the lgbtq, but they’re still valid in their ace identity

obviously if someone is ace and het, but trans/nb, they’re part of the community

i would say that someone who identifies as asexual AND aromantic (and cisgender) is part of the community, since they aren’t straight in any capacity

thanks for reading my dumb opinions on this 

[hayden-thelizard69]

Neopronouns?

i know that there’s a lot of debate on the validity of neopronouns

(note: when i say neopronouns, i’m talking about everything from xe/xim to doll/dollself)

a common argument is that neopronouns will make the trans community look like a joke, but if someone’s going to be transphobic, they’re going to do that whether or not someone uses frog/frogself pronouns

another thing to note is that many neurodivergent people use neopronouns because they don’t associate with so called ‘normal’ pronouns

finally, i really don’t understand why people are so against neopronouns. if you don’t like them, you don’t have to use them. it’s not hurting anyone for someone to use whatever pronouns make them most comfortable

[hayden-thelizard69]

my LGBTQ journey

apparently I’m discussing the different lgbtq labels i’ve used and stuff

when I was 12 i discovered the lgbtq community and i decided i was bisexual 

for the next year i kept shifting labels. i went from bi and cis, to demigirl, to agenderflux, to genderfluid

finally i settled on bi and cis, and i came out to my parents as bi

maybe a year and a half later i stopped identifying as bi and just called myself cishet

almost IMMEDIATELY after that i rapid fire went through about 6 labels before settling on pan and gender fluid

i identified as genderfluid for a few months, then realized i was just transmasc

i questioned my sexuality a lot, and every few days i’d think i was straight, then gay, then bi, etc

i finally settled on queer but i thought i was technically pan

i starting questioning whether i was a trans guy or nonbinary, but ending up sticking with trans guy

now i identify as a gay trans guy whos also somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum

[hayden-thelizard69]

basics

just a starter post to remind everyone the basic things you should know before following/interacting with me

hayden oliver - he/him - minor - trans masc, gay, somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum

i definitely lean more tucute, so if you don’t agree just don’t be an ass about it