ハザードのテイマー

WORTHLESS people will always be WORTHLESS.

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

[darktwintamers]

She bit her lip but glanced down at her watch. “It’s 3:15. Uh…” This was not something Ai had ever had to deal with before, and she wasn’t sure how to handle it. Still, she would try.

"You’re real. And I’m real." Maybe those two things weren’t the best to start with. "The snow, that’s real. And so is that bench. This whole park around us, that’s real too." Did she dare say Guilmon was real? Maybe moving beyond the visible things in front of him would be too much. She decided against speaking further, waiting instead for some sign that Takato was more grounded now.

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

“My head hurts,” he murmured, holding it in one hand. “I can’t really tell what’s real and what’s not. Am I actually real?”

He stood quickly and whirled to face her, grabbing onto her wrist harshly. Moments later, he calmed. “You are real. So I’m real too. But what about everything else? It’s cold. I can’t feel anything.”

[professorsparklepants]

So I have this weird headcanon that the tamers all get tattoos reminiscent of their partners when they get older. It started out with Ruki, and then kinda spread through the rest of them.

So Ruki has the most. She got the thigh swirlies when she was 16, without her mom’s consent (needless to say she was grounded, and the fake ID she’d used to get the tattoo confiscated and cut to pieces). When she turned 18 she got the symbol on her stomach, which was taken from Taomon’s design. Takato and Jen went with her that time and got their tattoos. Ruki decided to get yin-yang symbols on her hands last, but it’s very difficult to find tattoo artists who will ink visible parts of your skin like the hands and face. Ryo bet her she wouldn’t find one within 2 months, but when she did he had to go get his tattoo along with her.

Okay wow that was long.

Jen’s tattoos are on his biceps, and are modeled after the faces on SaintGalgomon’s missiles.Takato’s is Guilmon’s hazard symbol. It’s a little off center from his stomach, so when his arm is down it covers at least half of it.

Shaochung’s is really just sharpie, but she plans on getting it done! It’s the chinese character for Rabbit, which I assumed was the emblem on Antylamon’s chest, because the wiki pictures wouldn’t give me a very good view.

Juri’s are Leomon’s scars, to represent that she’s been wounded and healed (or something, I don’t really know). Hirokazu’s is that weird wheely thing that was on Guardromon’s chest. Kenta’s is just a heart. You can kinda tell I had no ideas for these three

Pretty Boy Ryo’s tattoo is of Cyberdramon’s wings, which here are poorly drawn and not raggedy at all because weird perspective pose.

And the scribbled thing on the side was GOING to be Ryo before I realized his tattoo was going to be on his back.

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Friends or Enemies? || bitterfacade

[bitterfacade-blog]

Jenrya stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged bringing his head down momentarily to look at the ground. He lightly kicked at it, causing a few pebbles to scatter here and there, then shifted his gaze from the ground to Terriermon, then back to the brunet.

"But it can’t be everyone, right?" he inquired, wanting to force the other to consider some positive aspects to his life, if there were any. "There are definitely still people who believe in the Takato from back then. It’s not like you’re a national criminal running on an insanity defense. You’re still you."

Terriermon, who was atop Guilmon’s head, looked over at Takato and happily cheered, “Momentai! Everything will be fine!”

Jenrya couldn’t help but smile at his Digimon’s response to the conversation at hand. His carefree and lax nature was a stark contrasting personality to his own, but the pair miraculously served as perfect complements to one another.

"But yeah, life does suck."

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

“You might be logical, but you’re still so, so stupid. You hope and believe and what has that done for you?” Takato shook his head rapidly and then stopped, rubbing at his forehead again. “You’re smart, Jenrya, but you’ve still got some morals in there, don’t you? A gentle nature.”

“You’re over here…what do they call it? Courting chaos? Yeah. You’re over here courting chaos, treating it like a normal conversation.”

He snorted. “But what’s life without a little chaos? It’s just boring. Kind of like Kudou. He’s boring without a little chaos mixed in. Do you know Kudou? Probably not. Some prodigy or something. At least he’s a ‘gogglehead’ with a brain. That’s what they call us, the so called ‘leaders.’ Apparently we all fucking wore goggles, except for one of the idiots who doesn’t even have a team.”

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Friends or Enemies? || bitterfacade

[bitterfacade-blog]

It was true. Jenrya had somewhat heard about Takato’s condition from Ruki, but she had painted him such a negative light that provided no justice for how he actually was, or at least seemed to be. It was definitely the annoying ethical and emotional side of himself he never completely erased that was taking over, but he couldn’t help but feel bad for his fellow Tamer. His shift in personality - if there was one to begin with, though he did seem a bit off - wasn’t voluntary, was it?

"Guess you can say that," he finally said after collecting his thoughts, crossing his arms across his chest. "But me being calm doesn’t have anything to do with your mental state."

Jenrya tried his best to hold back a slight chuckle at the other’s accusations, ultimately letting out a small smile. “I’d like to think you give me a bit more credit than that. You said so yourself, I’m calm because I can logically think about things.”

As far as Jenrya was concerned, this relationship could still prove to be useful in the end. He may still be able to profit from pretending, from “caring,” from exploiting a small vulnerability he saw in the Tamer. He just needed to capitalize on it.

Holding out his hand again, Jenrya answered with a smile, “You really think I’d do that? We were close friends at one point, there’s no way I wouldn’t trust you.”

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

“We were,” Takato mused, as if the mound of memories was lost to him and was just now trickling back. “But that was a different time, wasn’t it? When we were younger and didn’t know how fucked up things could be. Back when Guilmon didn’t have nightmares.”

He looked over at Guilmon, frowning. He remembered when Guilmon would wake in tears, wrestling at his blankets, whimpering over the things he’d done as Megidramon. Takato could do little to comfort each and every time.

“Always the logical one, hm?” he replied, smiling, albeit softly. “Those were better times. Things weren’t so complicated and my head didn’t hurt all the time. I was somewhat happy; too bad they’re long gone. Now it’s just Guilmon and headaches and the constant accusations of being crazy. Life is bullshit.”

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Friends or Enemies? || bitterfacade

[bitterfacade-blog]

Jenrya slowly withdrew his hand when it became evident that the brunet was not going to take it. Not that he had much of an issue with it - he seldom took offense from petty things like being rejected, especially with something small like a handshake offer. Still, coming to a realization that Takato was entirely different was a bit disconcerting. It would take a while to get used to it.

The blue-haired male scratched the back of his head when Takato began rambling, unable to decipher what he was trying to convey. The guy clearly wasn’t sane mentally, which was made even more obvious by his sudden shortness of breath.

Awkwardly staring at Takato, Jenrya responded, “Uhh, physically… How’s your health? You sick?”

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Takato rubbed a fist at his forehead until he calmed down. He didn’t feel right at all, and he wasn’t sure Jenrya was the cause of it. Maybe he’d relapsed a little. Who knew?

“Sick physically, not so much. Eating a lot more.” He didn’t seem bothered. “Although everyone else says my brain’s taken a road trip. You must’ve heard or you wouldn’t be so calm—but that’s you, isn’t it? Calm. Always calm.” He shook his head.

He eyed Guilmon, who had happily gone back to playing and talking with Terriermon, though his attention span was as short as ever. Takato sighed. “Are you going to think I’m insane, too? Everyone else does. Why shouldn’t you? Go ahead; I don’t care. Why should I?”

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Friends or Enemies? || bitterfacade

[bitterfacade-blog]

"You, uhh… Look good yourself," he replied, not knowing what to say in response.

Leaving the two Digimon to catch up on their own, Jenrya began approaching the other Tamer, albeit reluctantly. It would be socially deemed as rude for him not to. Upon reaching the brunet, he held out his right hand for a handshake, much preferring that over an awkward hug.

"It’s been a while," he began, keeping in mind some of the changes that Ruki mentioned when they had talked. There was definitely something off about Takato, but Jenrya couldn’t quite put his finger on it. "Is everything alright with you?"

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Takato didn’t take his hand. If anything, the chance of contact made him wary. He didn’t recall why he didn’t like being touched, but he knew he didn’t. He was like that a lot; he didn’t remember a lot of things, but he knew. It was unsettling.

“Nothing’s ever alright with me,” he answered, as if Jenrya should already know that. He shook his head. “I don’t know. That’s weird, huh? I don’t know. Usually I know. I don’t remember but I know. Now I don’t remember and I don’t know. Where’s all this led to?”

“’Katomon, deep breaths,” Guilmon reminded, breaking his conversation with Terriermon in concern for his Tamer. “Deep breaths.”

[darktwintamers]

"I…" I don’t understand, she wanted to say. But the words wouldn’t come. She just stared, trying to comprehend what he was saying. But it can’t be reset, she almost said. She refrained, not wanting to upset him further.

"Okay. You never have to see him again. But please get out of the cold… If you don’t have anywhere to go right now, my offer still stands…" She was beginning to shiver, and she’d only been standing there a few minutes. How cold must Takato be by now?

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

“No. No. Guilmon needs me.” Now that he thought about it, he didn’t quite remember why he’d come outside in the first place. Guilmon was at home, right? So why did he need him…?

His head was spinning and so he sat back down. Nothing made sense in his topsy-turvy mind. “What time is it? Tell me something. Something that’s real? I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

[darktwintamers]

She flinched back, eyes wide. “I—I’m sorry… I know he messed up, and I know it’s partially my fault, and Mako’s too, b-but he knows how big of a mistake he’s made and he tried his best to fix it. Or make up for it, at least. And…isn’t that all any of us can really do?”

Her scarf was now twisted in her hands, wrapped around and around her fingers in a display of nervous energy. She hadn’t meant to upset Takato. And she hadn’t believed Mako when he’d told her just how unhinged Takato was. And Juri? Juri had seemed…mostly okay when they’d spoken.

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Takato laughed. It wasn’t a pleasant sound.

“You think I care? I don’t care about life. It can all be reset. Everything can always be reset. A clean slate, unaware of the horrible truth. Is that what he wants? A fresh start? Does he want to reset like this is a game? I’d say it’s not, but life is a game. It just happens that he’s on the wrong team.”

[unxrossedheart]

[Meme] Insanity

Albert Einstein once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Taiki was never quite sure if he agreed with that, because wasn’t normalcy, in theory, the common thing that happened over and over again? There was a very small line between those two things.

It was completely fascinating to see a person that completely embodied this idea.

Taiki watched the crimsone-eyed boy mutter to himself, something nonsensical as his eyes darted around, examining his surroundings. He’d been warned many times before about Takato, that he was too crazy, to dangerous, to insane to deal with.

He could agree with the fact that Takato, at the very least, had psychopathic tendencies, but didn’t they all? This boy just chose not to hide that side of him like the rest of them did.

After speaking to him a couple of times, Taiki couldn’t help but notice a pattern, something that he wondered if anyone else did. Takato was actually very, very much in his right mind, as in he didn’t seem to have any real mental illnesses or anything like that. Of course, without proper tests, that was impossible to tell, and Taiki doubted Takato would go to the hospital for tests just for his own curiosity.

It fascinated him how much realism there was to Takato’s words. Sure, it was best not to stray to close to him, but whenever he spoke, there was a tone of truth, acceptance. He could see people for what they really were and had no problem calling them out on that. He didn’t live in a world of material wealth or denial. He accepted what he was, he accepted his reality and who everyone else was (acceptance and liking were two very different things - after all). 

"He’s crazy." "A psychopath." "There’s something wrong with him." "Something off." "He’s evil." "Too dark." "He’s insane."

Insanity and reality were separated by a very fine line. Who was to say that he wasn’t the most real out of them all?

[darktwintamers]

Ai blinked at him, taken aback by the question. “Um…” She’d learned this in school at some point, hadn’t she? “I think…it depends on the temperature and the wind chill factor. So it varies? Sometimes as little as a half hour, though.” How long had he been sitting there? He was covered in snow…

"A-are you sure you wouldn’t like to come warm up?" She weakly thrust out her arm again, shoving the scarf closer so he would take the hint. "I…I’m sure Impmon would be happy to see you. Happier to see Guilmon, of course, but…uh…"

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

He was mostly docile, but he shot up at the mention of Impmon, a collection of memories that haunted him flashing back before his eyes. Leomon disintegrating, Beezlemon’s destruction. It all came rushing back and he struck at her, snarling.

“If I ever see that little bastard, I’ll feed him to Megidramon, but not before I’ve beat him within an inch of his life. It’s his fault, you know. You thought I was the only one a little unhinged? Look at that pathetic bitch Juri!”

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Friends or Enemies? || bitterfacade

[x]

Guilmon grinned and picked up Terriermon, hugging him close. He was just as much a gleeful child as he was before, but there was also that maturity in him that rose up when it was truly needed. It wasn’t needed right now, though, so he greeted them both with glee.

The Hazard Tamer glared, but should’ve known Jenrya, of all people, would notice him. He stepped out, and glared. He looked somewhat healthy now, unlike his months of malnutrition from before, but he was still skinnier than normal.

“Hm,” the other mused, “You haven’t changed.”

“Takatomon, you think I can come see Terriermon again sometime?”

“I don’t care.”

[darktwintamers]

"Er…" She shifted nervously from foot to foot, uncertain how to proceed. She’d expected more of a response. Still, he wasn’t dressed for the weather, and that concerned her.

Pulling off her scarf, she offered it to him with a shaky smile. “Wh-why would you be out here dressed like that? Trouble at home or something? My parents aren’t home, you could warm up at my house, if you’d like to…” Was that too forward? They had never known each other very well, after all.

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

“How long does it take to get frostbite?” the other asked, looking back out at the snowy hills of the park. He had a fair amount of snowflakes on him; he’d obviously been stationary for a long time.

He was actually curious. He’d been out here, in a short-sleeved hoodie, but he hadn’t seen any of his limbs turn towards the color of frostbite. How long could it take? Did he need to stay through the night?

[darktwintamers]

Ai was walking home from school, moving quickly due to the cold. Seeing another person out in this weather, though, made her pause. Was that…Takato?

"Um, shouldn’t you be inside on a day like today?" It was a question born out of concern for his health.

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

Takato was not a necessarily friendly person, especially not to other Chosen Children, but those of his own universe tended to get a better reception than those who were not.

So when he looked up, eyes slightly glossy, and saw Ai, he nodded. No response other than that.

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

bitterfacade replied to your post:

[ DID I MESS UP OMG I’M SORRY ]

NO I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I CAN'T BREATHE

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

did a scrEW COME LOOSE

HOLD ME I CAN'T BREATHE

[hazardousinsanity-archive]

"Today's not a good day anymore. I don't like today." Says the moron huddled up in the park while it's snowing.