𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮 .

take me to the rooftop I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue. hazel st jude. year one. threat elimination + linguistics, culture, & assimilation

[olympain]

[hazelstjude]

@tigsousa

[hazelstjude]

whathebash​

        IT DOESN’T GO UNNOTICED that bash notices how much hazel is answering his questions about the past, telling him stories he’s never heard before, and he knows that his past is not his favorite subject. after the entire school finding out about him and his parents’ pasts, it’s comforting for the roles to be reversed, and consensual. he takes a seat beside hazel, leaning his back against the arm rest, trying to stop himself from asking a million of questions out of sheer curiosity.   “ i’ve never seen you two together, ”   he shrugs once, although he’s never really paid attention to it, either. eyebrows raise in surprise when he hears how young he had been when he robbed a bank.   “ how old was tigs ? ”   he doesn’t underestimate spy students, not even younger ones, but robbing a bank without any proper training… well, it’s impressive. scary, but impressive. glancing down at their hands, bash focuses on the feel of hazel’s finger on his palm, almost missing his question.   “ uh— i don’t know, actually, ”   he admits.   “ i just have a picture of it. ”   it’s in his wallet, but to get it now would mean to let go of hazel’s hand, which he doesn’t have much interest doing right now.

he laughs at the question. “i don’t know. honestly, i don’t even know how old he is now. it’s not really something i think about. i don’t know how old you are even, i just know when your birthday is.” as long as someone was around the same age as him, he didn’t really care much about age. “we hang out a lot, but it’s always at different times of day than when we hang out. but i think it would be weird if all three of us hung out, right? you don’t seem like you like tigs that much.” or maybe he doesn’t know him. who knows. hazel didn’t even think about bash having to let go of his hand to get the picture, he just figured it was somewhere else since he hadn’t shown him yet. “you’ll have to send it to me later. i bet i can find a bunch of information about it online.” he looks up at him for the first time. “do you have more questions?” 

[hazelstjude]

whathebash​

        “ VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES ? ”   he jokes, only to try to lighten the heaviness. that seems to be a lot of what bash is doing lately, despite how heavy his life has gotten. he’s quiet as he listens to hazel talk about his past, giving small nods to show that he’s listening. it’s hard to imagine being adopted at sixteen — mostly wondering what hazel had done for those sixteen years before.   “ i didn’t know you two knew each other, ”   he admits, thinking back to when tigs had tried to sell him weed. who knew that guy would be friends with hazel, and they’d rob a bank together ?   “ how old were you when that happened ? ”

he laughs. “my orphanage was actually connected to a church, that’s where my last name came from, and whenever new things about werewolves or vampires or any of that stuff came out we weren’t allowed to see it. so i don’t know a lot of pop culture stuff, ‘cause i never got into it growing up, and it kept feeling like it was too late to start.” this is the most he’d ever talked about his life outside of therapy, but now that the floodgates opened it was hard to hold anything back. he couldn’t look at bash as he spoke though, instead looking down at the ground, focusing on the fact that their legs were moving at the same pace at the same time. eventually, once they reached a semi-secluded place, hazel sat on a bench, and waited for bash to sit with him. he liked this weather, this season, it reminded him that the sun was going to be here soon. “a lot of people say that, i don’t know why.” when it came to tigs, it always felt like they were two pees in a pod. though hazel didn’t see how tigs acted differently around him than he did with others. “the bank or being taken away? the bank i think i was like...maybe fourteen, i was taken away two days before my sixteenth birthday.” when the information started getting to be too much for him, he took bash’s hand, and started tracing lines over his palm. it was something he did a lot with those he was close to, it helped his mind focus on his words, and on the words of the people around him. “i’ve been doing a lot of research on boats. what kind do you have?”

[hazelstjude]

whathebash​

        “ YOU MEAN STORIES ABOUT SPIES ? ”   he says with a small laugh, shaking his head. maybe to some if sounds like a cool bedtime story, but for bash it’s been his reality for as long as he could remember.   “ how old were you when you were adopted ? ”   bash asks, realizing he doesn’t actually know. mention of tigs and what was in the burn book for him makes him frown slightly, not because of what was written, but because he feels like he’s being nosy.   “ yeah, or… just anything. ”

“yeah, stories about spies. and assassins. and everything you think isn’t actually real but is.” not that they told a lot of stories about assassins in his orphanage. “i was sixteen, sent to a prep school as soon as they signed the papers.” there was a lot to fill bash in on, and some of it he probably won’t say. not until it’s time. but he can tell him about tigs. “we met in dc when we were pretty young, and i was alone. and we just kinda were attached at the hip. we did what we had to do to make money, he took me on trips outside of the city sometimes. but the bank was definitely our biggest accomplishment. it was pretty easy, we made sure to find one with shit security in a rich part of town that wouldn’t suspect two kids. and uh...yeah. i ended up getting caught for stealing a bag of chips from a gas station. and i got sent back to foster care, and then i got adopted. didn’t know what happened to tigs but i knew he’d be fine, and then we both ended up here.”

[quotethatshow]

[hazelstjude]

@whathebash

[hazelstjude]

reignregine​

“But didn’t you say you were going to put your full name on the flyer?”

“oh...did i? well i’m changing my mind. i don’t want a weirdo knowing my full name.”

[hazelstjude]

riaflicke​

“There’s enough truths in there to make people believe the bulk of it.” Ria shrugged. “Was yours true?” Had to ask! 

“i’m not telling you, you’re programmed to tell on me or something.” he was joking, though that didn’t come across much considering he didn’t smile when he said it.

[hazelstjude]

whathebash​

        BASH GLANCES UP TO SMILE BACK AT HIM, fingers running through his hair a little awkwardly. his parents probably wouldn’t like to hear that, but they probably wouldn’t like a lot of who their son has become ;   maybe keeping bash as a name is a nice way to keep this life separate from theirs. nodding a little, he wraps his arms around his body.   “ ah, yeah. they were independent spies, so they worked for a lot of different people. like the ones who… well, you know. ”   he’s referring to all the shit that has to do with julian’s sister, though really, he’s not being very clear. bash casts a sideways glance towards him.   “ you know, if you ever want to talk about your stuff… ”   doesn’t elaborate, because he’s sure hazel has a lot of stuff.

he nods, trying to imagine if bash would be different if his parents were still alive. if he would be like the other robots his parents had churned out in their years recruiting future spies and assassins. “you know...sometimes i hear stuff like that and i wonder if i told childhood me this would be my life, if i would have believed it then.” he wants to make bash smile again, it feels good to think that even in the darkest of times they can always find some happiness within each other. “you mean me and tigs?”

[hazelstjude]

tigsousa​

“ not exactly best mates with him either, mate, ” he shrugs. “ didn’t realise you cared about this bash bloke this much. ”

“i care about him a lot,” he tries to be nonchalant in saying this, but god knows hazel is awful at controlling his tone. “do you know him? you should if you don’t.”

[hazelstjude]

whathebash​

        HE GLANCES AT HAZEL FOR A MOMENT, not sure why he feels so surprised about all of this. it’s not like he wasn’t expecting conversations like this after reading the book, but it’s all still so new to him.   “ let’s stick with bash, ”   he says after a moment, a soft smile on his lips. he’s grown fond of the name, despite everything.   “ you pretty much know everything, honestly. except the name. ”   which now he does know.   “ um, one of my sisters is actually my cousin — summer, although she was raised alongside me since i was like ten. other than that… i haven’t lied about anything. but you can ask me anything, if you want. ”   there’s a lot being thrown out publicly, but bash wants hazel to know exactly who he is, before anyone else.

“it suits you better,” he says honestly, smiling a bit at his friend. trying to lighten the mood, as if he hadn’t just made a plan to break both of julian’s legs with tigs. oh shit, he needed to text him to abort the mission. he took out his phone and sent him a quick text so he wasn’t waiting for him all night, then went back to focusing on bash. he thinks back to the things he knows about bash, and to be honest, he doesn’t have much left to fill in. “that stuff about your parents, that was all true, right?”

[hazelstjude]

riaflicke​

Hazel had more allies than Ria, in her mind. People loved watching an empire fall… Maybe empire was dramatic, but she didn’t think she’d have many people there to help her pick up the pieces. “I’d rather have known that was what I was being raised to do instead of being blindsided.” Instead of chasing after a love it turns out she never would have gotten. “Should I be offended?”

“how do you even know the book is telling the truth anyway? i heard some people say there were lies in there.”

[hazelstjude]

whathebash​

        BASH BITES HIS LIP FOR A MOMENT, the question more awkward and uncomfortable than hazel realizes. he doesn’t blame him for it – many others will probably ask him the same thing – but it’s the first time he’s really recognizing how bash and james are two different people.   “ ah, yeah, you can. if you want. either works. ”   it’d be awfully weird to hear hazel call him james, though. the last person to call him that had been jack.   “ do you want to— let’s go for a walk, maybe ? ”   it’d be easier to tell him everything then, if hazel wants to hear it.

“but which do you prefer,” hazel is serious in this question. knowing too well how sometimes a name from the past might not work with a name from the present. he nods at the question, putting down the things he’d brought for julian, and starting to walk with him down the hall. “you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he said, looking up at him as they walk. “just ‘cause some book outed your secret, it doesn’t mean you owe anyone an explanation.” 

[hazelstjude]

tigsousa​

“ and i thought you wanted to hurt him. ” death is too easy. “ could always break his other leg but i really don’t think he’ll give a fuck. ” turn juju into an #acl guy.

“i don’t know him well enough to know what’ll hurt.”

[hazelstjude]

reignregine​

“Your last name is scarf?”

“no, but i don’t want them knowing my real last name. that feels invasive.”

[hazelstjude]

whathebash​

        BASH RUNS HIS FINGERS THROUGH HIS HAIR, uncomfortable at the mere suggestions of people knowing, even if he knows that’s the case.   “ i mean… it sucks, honestly. it’s more embarrassing than anything. ”   he mostly means about the julian stuff, though everyone now knowing he’s been lying about his identity isn’t exactly fun either. bash glances at hazel hesitantly, wondering how he feels about it.   “ did you read… everything ? ”   he glances at the other a little anxiously, not sure how to really bring up the witness protection elephant in the room.

“i did.” hazel wasn’t one to pry when it came to information about people’s pasts. he knew better than to force anything out of anyone, or to even ask about it, because he didn’t like to talk about it himself. “do you still want me to call you bash?” truth be told, he was curious. he wanted to know his story, all of it. but he was cautious in his questioning.

[hazelstjude]

reignregine​

“Typically with a yes or no.” Rei’s black and white like that, is or it isn’t. “You don’t want it to seem fake or sketchy. I would do a variation of your name and an initial, a few random numbers.” 

“[email protected]? does that sound good?”

[hazelstjude]

riaflicke​

“Because people don’t like me and now they know I’m made to be that way, a robot.” A bit of an exaggeration, but she was in a mood! “They’d think you were getting rid of a threat.”

this all felt a bit dramatic to hazel, who grew up in a similar situation to her. “that’s kind of dramatic,” why do i even bother narrating his inner world when he just says everything out loud. “a lot of people here were raised to kill. that’s like, part of the bullshit of spy school i guess.” not something he’d ever thought he’d say. “don’t worry, i don’t think anyone sees you as a threat.”