The Overseer is the Hermitcraft Citizen Newspaper, created by the hermitcitizens themselves on the Hermitcitizen Hub Discord Server.
The Hermitcitizen Hub provides a space for all of us to geek out about Hermitcraft and our own newly-minted Hermitcitizens. Since its debut on Tumblr on April 12th and subsequent spread to Twitter on April 13th, the Hub has grown to a staggering 500 citizens in a week!
Here is the original invite to the Hermitcitizen Hub
We also have a Twitter account if you wish to get your daily newspaper via the bird app!
Issue Masterpost
Current Overseer Staff:
Arcade, He/They/Its - Editor
Azure They/Xe/Fate - Gamemaker
Cheer, Any/All - Graphic Designer, Twitter Moderator
Welcome, one and all, to the second season of the Hermitcitizen Overseer and the tenth of Hermitcraft itself! There are scenanigans aplenty waiting for us in the upcoming season, so let's not hesitate to get going!
Bookwatch
Written by AzureClouds
This season, in an attempt to not use trading systems, Grian has decided to try and fish up a book of mending to use for enchanting.
Until recently, he has had little luck catching the elusive mending books, although he had caught several other enchanted books. Additionally, (as of writing) Grian has managed to catch roughly 6500 fish-the majority of which have been cod-, Nautilus shells, fishing rods and bows with various enchantments, and saddles, all to various degrees of usefulness.
Statistically, there is generally a 1.9% chance of catching an Enchanted book while fishing, with a 0.015% chance of catching a mending book! Meaning that, supposedly for every 100 times Grian casts his line, he should catch 2 books, and if he catches 127 books, he should be able to find two mending books.
In addition, Grian built a Cod Dungeon, complete with a secret entrance, and statues decorating the walls, even a special painting by Hoffen in an attempt to raise his chances of catching a mending book, officially named the Chamber of Sea Critters.
Finally, after over nine thousand attempts, Grian was able to fish up a mending book, specifically with Piercing 3 and mending, and he has decided to instead trade for the rest of the books he needs.
Now on to other news below the cut!
Hermit Permits
By AzureClouds
This season, shops, and what you will be selling has been decided by various permits, distributed randomly. Each hermit has received six permits, of various value. The three tiers are iron, gold, and diamond, with each hermit receiving three iron permits, two gold, and one diamond permit. This means that only one Hermit is able to sell any given item (that there is an existing permit for).
For some items, such as wood, glass or wool, hermits are required to build a shop with those who received a permit in the same category as them (for example, all hermits who received a permit for wood will be building a shop together), with these shops being either collaborative, competitive or anything in between!
Additionally, as the winner of demise, False Symmetry was awarded a Joker permit, giving her the ability to pick an item to sell at any time. This special permit can only be used once, and has not yet been put into play.
A Small(Ishbeans) Introduction!
By Roo
This season, we welcomed another two hermits- Skizzleman, and Smallishbeans. While an article for Skizz is anticipated and hoped for, this one is about none other than Joel Smallishbeans.
First, let’s get you acquainted, shall we?
Joel Smallishbeans- often called Joel Beans, Bean, Big Man, or just plain Joel- is a British YouTuber who, other than the green streak in the hair of his minecraft skin, can be recognized as “That One Guy Who Used To Be Shrek”*. A former member of both of the seasons of Empires SMP, as well as other servers such as the life series (he won Last Life in our hearts), or KingdomCraft, way back when, Joel is renowned for making buildings and areas that take immense amounts of time, effort, and skill, as well as the absolute beast he is at PVP. (Yes, we are aware this article would boost his ego immensely. That’s alright.) From the giant spires of the Mazalean Palace to the looming castles of his hardcore world, to the beginnings of his Hermitcraft base, it’s easy to say that Joel is a legendary builder that’ll be at home on Hermitcraft.
As for how his Hermitcraft is going- other than the multitude of failed attempts to kill XBCrafted, and the one successful attempt (yes, that took 74 TNT), everything seems to be going well for our favorite bean man. He already has a glow squid farm that works- well, it works- in addition to a lovely road, four buildings, and his first Hermitcraft diamond hanging proudly on the wall. His build style, a mixture of traditional Japanese architecture and a modern-cyberpunk-ish-vibe, seems to involve an astounding level of detail, which is impressive in and of itself, and also in the lag that is generated. Those glowing signs may have to decrease sometime through the season.
Of course, seeing as it’s Hermitcraft, shenanigans are bound to ensue, and from the past, we know Joel is one who will never back down from a good shenanigan. Those twelve kills in Last Life didn’t get themselves, after all. His neighbors, whom he has dubbed the Magic Mountaineers- Grian, Mumbo, Scar, Gem, Impulse, Skizz, and himself- are all settled around one big cherry blossom mountain (hence the name), and with Hermits that close together, we know that mischief is already brewing, pranks are being planned, and friendly rivalries formed.
No matter where the season goes for him, Joel seems to have an amazing start to this season, and for any of you who are considering giving him a watch, we would highly recommend- his sarcasm, skill, and hatred for Minecraft chickens and horses are hard to forget, and many a good time is had over on the Smallishbeans channel.
Look out, Hermitcraft Season 10!
Skizzleman, the man, the myth the legend.
By Winter.
Skizzleman is one of the new members of Hermitcraft Season 10. As you saw Mr Beans introduced in another article it is now Skizzleman’s turn. Now most people may not know what Skizzleman has done before Hermitcraft, so here is a run down.
Skizzleman is part of the Z.I.T.S, aka Zedaph. Impulse. Tango. Skizzleman. These four have been creating videos together for a while. The first series that Impulse and Skizzleman created together is “Naked and Scared” which was and continues to be a unique spin on the genre of Hardcore.
For the wider audience, you may know Skizzleman from the hit series “The Life Series”. While Skizzleman has never won any series he has always left a resounding echo within each character he has portrayed. This often creates a very emotional ending to each series. He always commits to the bit, even to the character's demise.
Another place you may know Skizzleman from is the GIGS Phasmophobia streams, or the 2020 Assorted Hermits(and Skizzleman) Among Us Streams. Both of the streams are different in the dynamics that they invoke. The streams are memorable and cemented in the viewer's hearts that Skizzleman was already a Hermit way before his invite.
In other endeavours he runs a podcast with ImpulseSV called the “Imp and Skizz podcast”. Within this podcast, they discuss a variety of topics such as: how they became friends, parenting, what makes a great leader, and other big philosophical topics. They also have special guests such as Geminitay, Xisumavoid, Evan and Kate, and others. On this podcast, Impulse also proposed to Skizzleman about joining Hermitcraft.
They now have started the season and with that new connections are being formed. As of current Skizzleman has a starter base which is lovingly called “Skizz’s Crack”. He is staying in the area with fellow hermits Grian, SmallishBeans, GoodTimesWithScar, ImpulseSV, Mumbo Jumbo, and GeminiTay. He is currently creating a pyramid. We at the Overseer wish him well on his journey to creating joy within people's hearts.
Lost + Found
Collected by Roo
-
lost item:
a blue crochet squid on a crochet piece of sushi.
it has large eyes and is wrapped around the crochet sushi.
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lost item(s)
5 boxes of cod.
i doubt whoever lost it actually wants to find it again.
...but i dont really want this either.
-
lost item:
ive found another one. the cursed enchanted items.
a luck of the sea, lure,unbreaking, and.
multishot...
fishing rod.
you can. assume what it does.
That's all for this week! Tune in next time to hear about the endeavors of the Citizens and the Hermits themselves!
As Hermitcraft Season 9 has come to a close last week, our citizens are also wrapping up their business in preparation to the move to a new world. We have seen many of the Hermits already leave to take a hiatus before the new Season and the new year (aside from Impulse, the mad lad). Thus, we have brought a couple of recaps of the amazing creations brought on by the Hermits this season. Hope you enjoy!
The Wondrous World of Scarland
By Azure
This year, we saw the construction of Scarland, thanks to the creative mind of Goodtimeswithscar. For him, Scarland has been a longtime dream, and it’s amazing to see his vision take place. After completing his Elven Village, he soon began construction on the theme park. Opening to the public on August 25th 2023, Scarland is one of the most magical places on Hermitcraft.
Starting on June 20th 2022, Main Street was the first area to be completed. As you enter, you’ll see a statue of Goodtimeswithscar himself and Queen Jellie, holding hands and standing proudly as they welcome visitors into Scarland. The Main Street also serves as the first stop for Scarland’s trolley system, and is home to stunning shops and carts where visitors may purchase snacks, posters and even their very own pair of Jellie ears, amongst other things. Most notably, it is home to the Scarland Hotel, and the official hOtguY HQ! Many of the buildings were inspired by different styles of architecture, and the final stores were completed.
Continuing down Main Street, we arrive at the Castle of Scarland. This magical castle is where Scarlands nightly firework shows take place in a dazzling display of color. During the day, it’s just as magical, with its towers on full display, reaching for the sky! It is truly a sight to behold, reminiscent of a fairy tale come to life.
Most recently, Adventureland cleared its vines to welcome its first visitors! Featuring an awe-inspiring volcano that towers over even the Scarland Castle, the jungle is home to the beloved Ellie the Elephant, beautiful jungle landscapes and more.
Scarland truly is a magical place, and though it will never truly be complete, we are amazed by how far it’s come.
Now onto other news under the cut!
Geminitay, Geminislay, Gem the Great
By Roo
Gem Geminitay is wrapping up this season with a total of 34 videos as of the writing of this article, and every single one is a joy from beginning to end.
She began the season with her house in a tree, sparking the elven vibe for the season. She continued this with an archer statue, before taking on the large project of draining an ocean monument and turning this into a farm.
However, we must mention the iconic trio of this season- or, at least, one of them. In the very first episode, Pearl, Impulse, and Gem grouped up to raid a woodland mansion first thing, armed only with shoddy tools and nothing to eat but soup, earning their name- Soup Group.
Soup Group quickly became inseparable, building their megabases as close as hermitly possible, which is to say, with Gem on top of a mountain and Impulse inside it, Pearl across the river. Of course, with the rise of Ren the King, Soup Group took an entirely different approach, quickly becoming anarchists.
This entire time, Gem’s megabase was quickly growing. With the completion of her prismarine farm, Gem could continue her plans, even going so far as to work a mob farm into her base.
Said base quickly shifted from its original elven plans, with the addition of a head room in Gem’s basement, which gave Geminislay a chance to shine. Geminislay got yet another chance to shine at the challenge of Grian’s frog, Champ, who she defeated easily.
Her neighbors contributed to the building of her megabase as well, from proposing messaging systems, to building a redstone smiley face (quickly dubbed McKenzie) in the side of her wall.
The Soup Group did other things, though- Gem participated in the breaking and entering of King Ren’s vault, contributing her amazing PvP skills, no doubt collecting heads for her head room.
After the excitement of all that, Gem completed her megabase, and added a custom taiga biome to the surrounding area, adding countless details and custom trees.
The biome wasn’t the only tree in Gem’s plans- the top of her elven megabase was given a magnificent cherry tree, surpassing her starter treehouse by approximately 284* times its size.
With the addition of the tree, Gem moved on to the inside of the megabase, adding cozy libraries, sitting rooms, and dining rooms, which were quickly house warmed by a visit from Gem’s neighbors, and they broke in the new dining room with a round of soup.
Of course, Geminislay made yet another visit, absolutely demolishing Etho in countless rounds of PvP, making Gem the official holder of the most Etho heads ever.**
And then Decked Out started- giving Gem a lovely opportunity to use her PvP skills against ravagers, wardens, and- wait, the dungeon itself? Please don’t fight the dungeon, the dungeon master will not be happy.
Gem also spent time working on her village down by the sea, redoing many houses, making docks, and building statues. In most circumstances, Gem’s elven village would be voted safest place to live on Hermitcraft, but given the *ahem* murderous tendencies of the local Hermit, it may not be safe if you challenge Gem to a duel.
This article cannot sum up how truly impressive the things that Gem has built and accomplished are, and we at the news office can’t recommend that you all go check out Gem’s videos for yourselves. Despite this only being her second season, it’s impossible to imagine a Hermitcraft without her.
Grian Summed Up
by: Mateo!
Grian’s Hermitcraft Season 9 was established in the very beginning as a season rooted in nostalgia— evidenced by references to prior seasons through things like the designs on Dwayne, Grian’s megabase, the return of Grumbot, or a Hippie Bit.
The season started out with the creation of The Entity, which used the idea that everything sold at The Entity would have a visible indicator on the exterior of the shop like wood (a tree) and copper (stolen half of a water wheel from Grian’s starter base). Next there was a large farm dedicated to trading with villagers, then the creation of the Rift, established earlier as having tasted like grapes and battery acid. The Diamond Ore Race occured, then the Entity grew legs and moved, preparing the way for the megabase
Dwayne, Grian’s megabase of giant rocks both balanced against each other on the ground and floating in the air, had several buildings on it that resembled the architecture and color palette of his Season 8 megabase, as well as farms in several floating rocks, a broken bridge leading to Mumbo Jumbo’s vault, the entrance to the Rift and eventually, a rock dedicated to Resisting Creating A Resistance when Ren took over as king of the server.
Next came the reappearance of everyone's favorite Hermitcraft Robot. Grumbot was a big help in generating content, although he did seem to have a concerning habit of threatening the world if Mumbo wasn’t there.
More buildings were added to Dwayne, with the back of the base unfinished as per the norm, more content was generated by Grumbot (a prank involving the one and only GoodTimesWithScar, his obstacle course, and a charged creeper), and Grian assisted Gem and Impulse in their resistance against King Ren, therefore not directly creating a resistance.
Then… the Rift allowed many of the hermits, including Grian, as well as Grumbot, to visit their friends in the Empires SMP. Grian and Cub collaborated to create a machine that shrunk the Hermits to ‘hermit-sized’, and the entire hermit ensemble created Hermitopia as their temporary home in the other server. Fun was had, like a tea party under the bedrock while sitting on llamas, and LORE! was dropped. Eventually, the hermits made their way back to Hermitcraft but not before several of the Empires players came through the Rift.
The Secret Santa occured, giving Pearl the chance to organize Grian’s chest monster on a time limit, and the Empires friends had to return to their server. A new development with the water highways made transportation faster and led to the iconic Grian Cackles™ as the chaos unfolded.
The Incident, however, was a large change in pace. Grian and Scar messed up Doc’s world eater in a fabulous moment of miscommunication and double clicking a button, which led to the subsequent ban of the two from the Perimeter and the retaliation to the ban as Poultry Man and Hot Guy filled the Perimeter with chickens and created Lag Central. Hippies returned after this, as Mumbo, Scar, and Grian decided that Doc’s daily and nightly messages that ‘This is Doc’s world, you just live in it’ were annoying and needed changing.
The Buttercups, the hippies, created a camp on the edge of the Perimeter and several lovely design elements— ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ in yellow cursive on the side of the wall and a lovely cherry bonsai in a large pot that housed some giant robots that battled Doc and Ren’s robots, which generally caused destruction and chaos and laughter. The Buttercups also completed a monumental task in which they covered the entire surface of the perimeter AND terraformed it, which is a lot of time and a lot of blocks.
There were moments of hilarity strewn throughout the season as with the continuous back-and-forth of hermits messing with each other's copper as it aged, leading to instances like ‘sub[scribe to] scar’ and a large amogus, as well as the secret fools day that had Grian bringing back the infinity room to prank Impulse and Doc unleashing an unholy amount of ghasts upon the main starter base area and Grian and Scar, who were present at the time. The challenge of opening Mumbo’s vault, the trap of which Grian fell for every time and ultimately led to nothing; the episode where sand, gravel, concrete powder, or anvils falling all kicked Grian off of Minecraft; the chaos of Ren’s final day as King and hermits had to face Grian’s challenge, a very easy quiz; Hermits staging an intervention to get Grian to finish the back of his base; The Incident; the return of Decked Out, Grian’s iron golem experimentation room, and every Hermit’s addiction to playing the game.
The season ended with a long episode in which Grian wrapped up loose ends and left lovely messages to each individual hermit, including the sorely-missed TFC. We hope he returns again next season, and hope Season 10 is as fun as every season before has been.
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are brought to you by Rookie! We have a wonderfully cute Scar coloring page for the festive season!
Yet again, we do not have enough articles for a full issue. If any of you all want to contribute, please do! Our doors are always open. We will see you next week with a full issue, hopefully!
There has been a lot of activity in the Shopping District as of late, with shops getting busier likely due to the time of year, so I’ve decided to make a little recap of the past few weeks!
Several newer citizens have been taking the time to tour around the shopping district to explore and meet potential friends, and many citizens are seeing familiar faces in nearby shops. There are people that may or may not be going on dates, and others learning that they have more freedom to be who they are and enjoy life more, and yet more who are just visiting their shopkeeper friends.
Our own Roo has been venturing around, meeting new people and making friends, and we are all very proud because socialization is difficult.
Open Mic Night at Get Vexed Diner, run by citizen Atelo, is always an amazing option if you want to sing to your favorite song without getting judged. Citizen Stitches, a plushie shop, is temporarily closed so that co-owner Jax can have a day off. Nox, of Nox’s Flowers (and Sculk Clearing), could probably use some positivity in these trying times.
There are several shops open dedicated to clothing, a few bookshops with mysterious owners, places where art drives the entire shop, several bakeries, and the well known Overseer Headquarters, among others like the pirate ship off in the distance that sells various treasures and trinkets.
There are so many talented shopkeepers that if we were to name all of them, the list would be longer than the wait for someone to get home so you can see their response to your latest message.
Not everything is fun and games, however. A shop has had to close down in the past few weeks due to a shift in management and repairing damage done to various parts of it. The Pharmacy™, formerly run by citizen Ender, has been taken over by citizens Avid and Cordelia (a new addition to the server) because of an incident last week involving sculk catalysts, a frying pan, several unsuspecting bystanders, and a mooshroom island. The two have been giving their best efforts to de-sculkify the shop and fix it up so it can get up and running again, but it is a slow process.
Other places have been affected by sculk spread, with several shops, including The Pharmacy™ and Nox’s Flowers (and Sculk Clearing), being visited by a citizen by the name of Mos, who is having a midlife crisis at the ripe old age of seventeen, but that is about par for the course of the Hermitcitizen Lifestyle™. If anyone sees them, just be careful.
I also write bearing a suggestion from Raidne of Raidne’s: Tailoring and Outfits for All Occasions and a newcomer, a skeleton named Roman with a pretty cool cape and active hatred of the sun. Please consider, if you haven’t already, that there are a lot of people on the server who can’t be out during the day due to the lack of shade and being partially or fully mob. If you can, if you have a shop, it might be a nice idea to have covered walkways in the shopping district so that people who are hurt by the sun can still come around and say hello.
Now onto other news below the cut!
Affiliate Summaries
By Mateo
Mumbo: Send help they're making the Josh Hutcherson whistle edit with irl Mumbo and it's scary, and also they're luring British people with tea— OH GREAT HEAVENS
Pearl: Soup (in the soup bowl)! And Wet Cat Wednesday!
Scar: The Scarland art book has been released and affiliates are celebrating! Go check it out— it's full of very talented artists.
Grian: A chandelier with birds on it. Don't ask, it's just majestic.
Joe Hills: Joe Hills (Joevember has ended).
Anyways that's all that news! See y'all next week!
Weekly Weather Report
by: Mateo
These are in Celsius! Apologies, fellow Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach highs of -1° and lows of -12°. Light snow is expected with little wind.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach highs of 0° and lows of -9°. Skies will be cloudy with wind speed of 20 miles per hour
Friday: Temperatures will reach highs of -3° and lows of -11°. Expected flurries and wind speeds of up to 30 miles an hour.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach highs of 2° and lows of -4°. Skies will be partially cloudy with little wind, but about a 50% chance for light rain later in the day.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach highs of -1° and lows of -8°. Expected thunderstorms early in the day but clearing up in the afternoon. Wind speeds from 10 to 15 miles per hour.
Monday: Temperatures will reach highs of 0° and lows of -7°. Skies will be clear with little to no wind.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach highs of -4° and lows of -12°. Skies will be clear with higher wind speeds of 15 miles per hour.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach highs of 3° and lows of -10°. Skies will be cloudy with wind speeds of up to 30 miles per hour, with chances of snow later in the evening.
Scarland Volcano ready for action!
By Azurecake16
Following the recent opening of Scarland, work has begun on the park's next area, Adventureland! Alongside stunning gardens, and Ellie the Elephant, this area will feature the long awaited Volcano of Scarland! Made using almost 50 000 blocks, this attraction towers over even the main castle, and is surrounded by seemingly charred forests, and is buried deep in the jungle! Wander through Adventureland to see it for yourself, it’s impossible to miss!
With many rides, plenty more secrets to come and more areas being built up, we here at the Overseer can’t wait to see where Scarland will take us next!
ADVERTISEMENTS
By Jamie
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Greetings to all citizens! As you all very well know, Scarland is one of the fastest growing places of fun on the server, with dozens of our friends and fellow hermits working there! This past week the official Scarland Art Book was published and is open for FREE download. Please go check it out at the link!
60+ artists gathered together to conceptualize Scarland as a real theme park. The result is 181 pages full of care and detail, to show appre
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To all Garden members : This Friday there shall be a meeting in the sculk bolder amongst Dwayne (Grian's Base). Please bring a mandatory daisy for entry, as well as any other florals you deem fit. Do not be late.
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CALLING ALL AVIANS! There shall be a council meeting held at the treehouse in two weeks time to discuss the possibility of a flying (elytra) course! If you have any ideas on the theme or how the trials should be set up please be prepared to present them on the 20th.
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Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are brought to you by Azure and Rookie!
Brain Teasers by Azure
Coloring page by Rookie
And that's all for this week folks! Big thank you to our new writers and contributors and thank you to you all for reading!
you all may be thinking that this is an abnormal news issue, and I will have to agree.
you see, the overseer has been, as much as I hate to say it, slowly dying. issue after issue has been only a handful of people writing at least two articles each, and while I deeply appreciate them and what they've done for the newspaper, the newspaper is a group thing, and I think we really just need more people.
this being said! please, please, please, if you are interested in writing for the newspaper, drawing for the newspaper, anything, and are in the hchchchc discord, you are very welcome to join!
no matter where the newspaper goes from here- I am so thankful for everyone who has helped, and thank you all for being along for the ride!
I promise to be with the Overseer until the very last issue, and I hope you guys will too
-Roo
JoeHills: Joe Hills (The day i stop this is the day I die. I'm not a Joe affiliate, but I hope I am in your heart.)
Pearlescentmoon: Happy wet cat Wednesday to all, and I hope all your soup is the best it can be.
That's all the affiliate summaries for this week! See y'all in a little <3
Now onto other news below the cut!
Weekly Weather Report
By Lydia
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of -4 degrees and a low of -8 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy with winds of 18 miles per hour.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of -5 degrees and a low of -10 degrees. Skies will be sunny but windy, with winds of 36 miles per hour.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of -2 degrees and a low of -12 degrees. Skies will be snowy throughout the day with little to no wind.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of -3 degrees and a low of -9 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy with snow in the early to late afternoon going into the evening.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of -4 degrees and a low of -11 degrees. Skies will continue to be snowy throughout the entire day.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 6 degrees and a low of -3 degrees. Skies will be cloudy with high chances of snow throughout the afternoon once again.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 2 degrees and a low of -7 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with low chances of precipitation throughout the day.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 4 degrees and a low of -6 degrees. Skies will continue to be cloudy with very low winds and high chances of snow throughout the evening and overnight hours.
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A flier depicting a traveling exhibit
This flier is an advertisement stating that a traveling exhibit featuring historical replications (but no real artifacts) and set designs resembling that of ancient Egypt will be passing through very soon, particularly on the next several weeks on rotating weekends. The exhibit features a walking tour and hired actors playing the parts of famous historical figures.
Item 2: A case of water bottles
This case of water bottles appears to have never been opened, though each bottle is flavored with various food dyes. A note attached assures that there is nothing unusual about these water bottles despite the occasional black smoke seen surrounding them. The staff is failing to resist the temptation to drink them immediately, so please claim them soon.
Item 3: A list of Decked Out strategies
This list of strategies is written in thick green marker with handwriting that is quite difficult to read aside from the title. The paper’s edges appear to have been chewed off as well, and there are various doodles of ravagers littering the piece. It is uncertain as to whether these strategies are successful as the staff is unable to read them.
Item 4: A bag of marshmallows
This bag of jumbo-sized marshmallows was found near Mumbo’s base and appears to have been eaten about halfway through. Next to it is a list of notes exchanged between three people arguing about the best way to make S’mores.
Item 5: A bag of marbles
This bag of marbles was found near Joe’s arcade and contains marbles of a variety of different sizes and colors. They come with instructions for different games that can be played with said marbles, though the staff has taken to using them to spread all throughout the shopping district to make people trip.
Item 6: A staff made of glass
This staff has the names of its previous owners written on it and has an inscription listing elements from the periodic table. It glows in the dark and feels very cold to the touch. The staff plans to have a field day with it to see if it can control every element on the periodic table if it is not claimed within the next two days, so be wary!
Fun and Games
By Lydia
And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 8 degrees and a low of 0 degrees. Skies will be cloudy today with a very, very low chance of snow in the early afternoon.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of -4 degrees. Skies will be cloudy with snow coming during the early morning and passing by the late afternoon.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 5 degrees and a low of -9 degrees. Snow will persist throughout the entire day. Laugh tracks may play at random times throughout the day. Using earplugs is highly advised by the staff of The Overseer.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 2 degrees and a low of -13 degrees. Skies will be clear but very windy today at approximately 45 miles per hour.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 4 degrees and a low of -8 degrees. Skies will be overcast and winds will continue at approximately 30 miles per hour.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 7 degrees and a low of -2 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout most of the day until later in the afternoon. Snow is possible.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 6 degrees and a low of -9 degrees. Skies will be heavily cloudy throughout the day with occasional bouts of snow.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 3 degrees and a low of -11 degrees. Skies will continue to stay overcast and snow will fall heavily, reaching approximately 15 inches by the end of the week.
Now onto other news under the cut!
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A picture frame
This picture frame is made with a gold border with intricate leaf designs, appropriate for the fall season. It was found near Gem’s Elven Village and hums when placed in direct sunlight. Anything placed inside has been mysteriously disintegrated within the next five minutes. The staff has used this as an opportunity to rid their office of all citations given to them from the Office of Unofficial Documentation for being a general public nuisance over the past several months.
Item 2: A bottle of bird medication
A bottle of Psittamune APV was found among Grian’s large rocks with a small syringe for administering to presumably very small birds such as parakeets. The bottle has never been opened and sits with the syringe in a plastic bag.
Item 3: A sympathy card
This sympathy card has an unknown intended recipient, but the official printed message inside expresses condolences for the passing of one’s grandmother. Inside, several people have signed the card expressing further condolences, with the exception of one person who did not sign their name, who wrote, “Happy Birthday!” instead, in thick letters.
Item 4: A letter from a professor of animation
This letter, addressed to a group of college students taking an unknown class, is written by a professor unknown to the staff, signed, “Prof. Lansbury” and delves into the subject of re-animating corpses, rather than focusing on the medium of artistic cartoon animation. The letter expresses caution towards the practice and implores the students to mind their steps carefully. It also asks the students to precede the rituals with the following sentence: “Will a re-animated corpse enjoy the artistic work I have to offer?”
Item 5: A copy of Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate, M.D.
This book, centering on the origins and treatment of ADHD, written by Gabor Mate, who himself has ADHD, was found in a Shulker box in Pearl’s alien forest. It is suspected to be an unsuccessful delivery, as delivery instructions are attached, but the name and address label has fallen off. The delivery instructions state, “Please take buttercream pie at the doorstep after dropping off our package. Enjoy!” Though its contents are unharmed, the shulker box was found splattered with alien viscera and human blood.
Item 6: Sixteen birthday candles that do not light
These candles do not light despite the staff’s best efforts. They are in assorted colors and appear to have been taken from the local arcade. While there is no record of the server hosting parties for small children, it is nonetheless seemingly evident that a children’s birthday party was held near Joe’s pinball arcade, judging by the party hats and smatterings of children’s toys in the area.
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!
And that's all for this week folks! Have a wonderful week!
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be cloudy and windy.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 3 degrees. Skies will be mostly sunny, though there is a chance of passing light showers later this afternoon.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 6 degrees. Rain will be prevalent throughout the entire day.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 11 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. Skies will be persistently cloudy and rainy until the early evening, in which stars may be visible after 8:00.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 16 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be hazy with no precipitation today.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 14 degrees and a low of 6 degrees. Skies will be mostly rainy with occasional passing thunder, but Bdubs will promptly sleep it away.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 5 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear today with occasional haze.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 8 degrees and a low of 0 degrees. Skies will be cloudy today with a very, very low chance of snow in the early afternoon.
Now onto other news under the cut!
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A recording of a musical performance
This recording of a musical performance appears to have been made in a modern theater of an amateur singer accompanied by a very small orchestra. She is a mezzo-soprano and sings a song from an unknown cartoon show. Audience members are heard applauding raucously and join in singing with her towards the end of the four and a half minute recording. Although there is a cartoon listed on the disc, it is not one that contains any music resembling that of the recording.
Item 2: A map of a discount department store
This department store, modeled off of a common American version, holds a majority of unusual items according to the map, covered in copious scribbled notes. Sections listed include: cleaning supplies for extraterrestrial bugs, medicine for those undergoing mutations, large plush items of undiscovered creatures, living mannequins, Knick-knacks and display items of insufferably round shapes, DVDs of mildly crude mutant media, and muscle strengtheners for fatigued legs.
Item 3: A personal essay about living alone in old age
This treatise appears to have been written by an elderly denizen of a highly populated town in the grasslands, and states the pros and cons of living alone in old age, and the societal changes that have performatively reduced the stigma of elders not being married. The author states that although progress has been made to support unmarried citizens, it is not enough on a substantial level to prevent countless others from bombarding them with pitying and sometimes hostile statements regarding her lifestyle as an unmarried and childless elder, with no one to call their grandchild nor younger relatives to ensure their health is overseen at ninety-six. The author has noted that they have many relatives and friends who ensure that they are not living in a lonely state, but these companions still struggle to comprehend their staunch independent lifestyle.
Item 4: A copy of Charles Addams: A Cartoonist’s Life
This copy of a biography of Charles Addams, creator of the newspaper cartoon that would later become the famed fictional Addams Family, delves into heavy details about the cartoonist’s early life, dating history, artistic passion, and career history. While it focuses heavily on his personal romantic relationships, it also offers observations upon who he must have been among friends and colleagues, with personal accounts from these figures in his life. Noted to be easy-going, jovial, and passive in his marriages (one of which became abusive towards him due to his spouse’s enactments of psychological and physical abuse), he was beloved by many people as one who took interest in each person he met. He was stated to have had a way of making them feel important and listened to, regardless of if others would brush them off due to gender expectations at the time.
Item 5: A list of insults
This list is handwritten in heavy pencil and records several insults taken from various video games according to the note on the top. Whether all of these games are real is unknown. The listed insults include the following:
You were never burdened with intelligence, but your load seems especially light, today.
Your ass is jealous of your mouth because of how much shit comes out of them.
You make shit look like Beyoncé.
I could bash your head in with a sledgehammer and you’d be so high you wouldn’t even feel it.
Oh, look, it’s mommy’s eldest mistake!
Think you’re a person because you’re walking on two feet?
You’re running your mouth because your lymphedema-ridden legs are too useless to get you anywhere! (Under breath) Useless whale of flesh.
If you tasted anything with even a hint of spice, you would have a heart attack and die!
I heard your reaper refused to take you. Your soul is so rancid, they threw up upon looking at you!
You have more earwax than brain matter!
Why would your gods love you when no one else does?
Think you’ve won the genetic lottery? Cute. You’re suffering delusions of adequacy because your ears are longer than your dick. (Alternatively) You’re suffering delusions of adequacy because your ears are larger than your brain.
Item 6: A can of raviolis
This Chef Boyardee can of raviolis was found unopened near Tango’s Deep Frost Citadel, Pictures of crabs have been placed on the can and are depicted raising their claws in the air. The miniature raviolis inside have already been eaten by the staff, but if you would like to reclaim your can, please feel free to do so, and thank you for the free snack!
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia!
That's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful November!
As many of you may know, a new life series started last Friday! For those of you who do not know, now you do. This season of the life series is the fifth, and we see many returning players and one new one!
The spoilers lying ahead will only detail the premise and the players that will be featured. If any of you want to hear about what happened in each person’s episode, go give it a watch!
Now, there have been a lot of theories about what this season’s name, theme, and who would be in it- and the time for the big reveal has finally come!
This season is called Secret Life, and boy, oh boy, are there secrets! The life system this time is interesting, having returned to the three life rule, but each life has 30 hearts that do not regenerate. The only ways to regen hearts, with the exception of golden apples, is to complete secret tasks from the Secret Keeper, an ominous stone deity that is near the server’s spawn.
The majority of the life series rules have been changed- there is no boogeyman this time around, and hats have been allowed for only one player, the one player being Scar.
Speaking of players, who is around this time? Our usual group of players are back, including Grian, Smallishbeans, Smajor, BigB, Etho, BDoubleO, PearlescentMoon, InTheLittleWood, GoodTimesWithScar, ImpulseSV, TangoTek, ZombieCleo, SolidarityGaming, and Skizzleman!
However, this season we have not one but two returning players, and, to everyone’s delight, one new player! LDShadowLady and MumboJumbo are both back for their second season, having participated in Last Life but none of the other seasons, and GeminiTay has joined the ranks, perhaps deciding that during her brief stint on Limited Life she didn’t kill Etho enough.
In the first session, many tasks were completed, many hearts lost, and many alliances formed (and broken!), and I think we all are looking forward to next Friday when we follow where everyone goes next. Happy life series, and happy watching!
Now onto other news below the cut!
This Week at The Overseer HQ: The Life Series, Murder Mystery Dinner Theater, and Halloween Preparations
By Lydia
The debut of the fifth season of The Life Series has seen a significant rise in activity among The Overseer staff in both their writing as well as their social lives. All of the staff members have been partaking in designing and buying different forms of Life Series merchandise and have made several predictions for who will be out first and who will end in the top seven left standing. Wanting to step outside of the office to participate in the server-wide ardor, the staff decided to try their hands at construction. Setting up makeshift outdoor movie theaters was not something originally part of this year’s plan, but the staff wasted no time in undertaking this project as quickly as possible. The staff was happy to spend the funds they’ve collected from their pickpocketing cats and rats to build digital screens near each neighborhood, as well as providing popcorn, pretzels, and a large variety of assorted candy for each one. The rats even offered to provide new pizzas to attendees who are willing to tip a few diamonds to The Overseer.
A murder mystery dinner theater was held last week by the staff to show off their acting chops and their practical effects skills, complete with a full set and gourmet food. Although the attempt seemed to be their shot to stardom, the reviews of the performances and special effects afterwards lampooned the show as “presented by actors that read their script with all the elegance of barely-literate, glue-eating seven-year-olds,” and “a spectacle that one simply cannot help but laugh at and throw the slop served to them directly at the stage.” Though the reviewers had expected the staff to give up the performance completely in a disheartened fashion, the staff instead decided to increase the number of their performances and make their tickets free to the public, believing that a big break must be coming for them eventually.
With Halloween approaching next week, the staff have finished designing their costumes and have decorated the office with an abundance of skeletons and the heads of various mobs. The staff has also been playing movies ranging from Halloween favorites from the staff’s childhood to new slashers to more avant garde horror movies. Someone had recommended the movie Beau Is Afraid and received mixed responses after the staff had finished it, many of them stating that they felt unnerved, fascinated, and deeply puzzled afterwards. The Halloween preparations have not remained contained merely to the office, and staff members who have taken an interest in the occult have gathered temporary clubs among the Citizens who are experts in summonings, ouija boards, raising the dead, and switching bodies with others. Some staff members have noted that this has been a riveting way to bond with their fellow Citizens, though others had found the processes too confusing, and stuck to making candy apples with them instead.
The Overseer staff hopes that you all have a very happy Halloween and thanks all of their readers for their ongoing support. Have an excellent holiday!
Affiliate Happenings
By Roo
DocM: He’s a glowstick now, so if you see a glowing vaguely humanoid figure during the night, it is either Doc or something you should be only slightly less afraid of.
Grian: Please do not forget to feed your Grian during these trying times. Death game enrichment is enrichment, but Grians cannot survive off of that alone, so please remember to mix in some chaos daily.
JoeHills: Joe Hills (PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS REAL). (I love you, Joe Affiliates.)
Pearlescentmoon: Here is your reminder to make soup. Happy Wet Cat Wednesday to all that celebrate.
ZombieCleo: Please keep all small items and limbs secured. Enjoy your flight on Overseer Airlines. Cleo, I’m talking to you. Put your arm back on.
Weekly Weather Report
By Lydia
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 18 degrees and a low of 9 degrees. Skies will remain hazy as this condition intensifies.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. The haze will partially dissipate during the early evening hours.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 13 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Expect the haze to dissipate completely by the late morning hours and brief rain to follow for several hours.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 6 degrees. The rain will continue today with scattered winds and occasional whirlpools.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 11 degrees and a low of 3 degrees. Skies will be clear, but dust storms throughout all deserts will be prevalent today.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 14 degrees and a low of 5 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy today with occasional spiderweb clouds during the early afternoon.
Tuesday: Happy Halloween! Temperatures will reach a high of 16 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear with very low winds. A meteor shower will be visible during the evening hours, so bring your lawn chairs out and enjoy the sight!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be cloudy and windy.
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A treatise regarding the strengths and weaknesses of each Life Series
This treatise covers the comprehensive summary of each Life Series thus far and contains statistics in regards to Player deaths and the lengths of each season, as well as analytical details of viewership and audience engagement. The majority of the treatise covers the strength and weaknesses of each theme and how it affected each Player’s strategies and time management throughout each session, based of course upon what the writer sees as a mere viewer of the series.
Item 2: A script for a comedy sketch
This comedy sketch appears to have been written by someone from an amateur vaudeville troupe, though the content of the sketch is rather modern, lampooning a new video game that came out just last month. The sketch features lines that insult the game’s stiff facial animations as well as its quests. A specific section highlighting the stringent lawfully aligned attitudes of the game’s characters.
Item 3: A group of Mason Jar Halloween-themed snow globes
These snow globes contain depictions of popular Halloween movies, including Jason from Friday the 13th, Sally and Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas, Jigsaw from the Saw movies, Michael Myers from the Halloween franchise, and Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise.
Item 4: A collection of props from a carnival haunted house
These props include a fake knife that squirts strawberry jelly out of its handle, a replica of the Freddy Krueger gloves using plastic, three fake machetes splattered with red paint, several dismembered fingers made from rubber and paint, and an amateurly-made puppet resembling Tango Tek dressed as a mad scientist made from papier mache.
Item 5: A jigsaw puzzle depicting Hermitcraft during the autumn
This jigsaw puzzle comprises several screenshots of different Hermitcraft bases from this season in a wall of picture frames, all repainted with an autumnal palette. The puzzle itself has 750 pieces and staff members have noted that multiple copies of it have been sold in the Shopping District.
Item 6: An old jazz album
This jazz album, Alleycat by Nucleus, came out in 1975 and was found just outside of Stress’s base. The cover depicts either a leopard or a cheetah running through a dilapidated apartment alley into a sliver of a desert depicted in a diagonal section at the bottom right of the cover with several small pools of water.
ADVERTISEMENTS
By Roo
—----------------------
LIFE SERIES MERCH? THAT IS RIGHT, YOU CAN FIND IT AT YOUR LOCAL iBUY TODAY, FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF HALF OF YOUR SOUL! BUY TWO GET A FREE SOULMATE! No, this deal is not optional.
—--------------------------
Hi, um. Is this thing on? Yeah, the Lost and Found is overflowing. Please, people, come pick up your items. They don’t have to be your items, just please take them. Twinkly Trash doesn’t want to take the cursed items and honestly, we’re scared not to.
—------------------------
MISSING PERSONS: THE SEERS OF THE OVERSEER
Last seen in Issue 10. Favorite food is noted to be asks. If found, please contact Anon In the 14th Barrel to the Left on the Third Floor of iBuy. This is the floor where the sea lanterns are located. Please contact The Overseer as well, as they have also been searching for The Seers since Issue 10.
—------------------------
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia!
And that's all for this week folks! Happy Life Series!
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 10 degrees and a low of -4 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny throughout the day with high winds up to 27 miles per hour.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 13 degrees and a low of -2 degrees. Skies will be cloudy for most of the day and will occasionally change colors throughout the early to late morning.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 3 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the next few days.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 5 degrees. Skies will continue to be rainy with heavy downpours throughout the mid to late afternoon.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 22 degrees and a low of 11 degrees. Skies will continue to be rainy with occasional pop-up thunderstorms. Expect them to pass quickly if Bdubs is present.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees with a low of 2 degrees. Skies will begin to clear up in the late afternoon and a haze will follow for the rest of the week.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 6 degrees. Skies will become significantly more hazy and difficult to see through.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 18 degrees and a low of 9 degrees. Skies will remain hazy as this condition intensifies.
Now onto other news below the cut!
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: Eight discarded journals
Each of these journals appear to have been written by a member of a group chasing down a series of mobs, including a Warden, an Ender Dragon, a group of Polar Bears, and six dolphins. The journals delve into the interpersonal drama of the group, noting an authority system similar to the television show Survivor on multiple occasions. The staff has been treating these journals as their own personal source of entertainment, as if they are sitting on the couch watching a soap opera at home and eating buttery popcorn.
Item 2: A CD-ROM of an old video game
This video game is labeled Star Catcher 2600 and took the staff a day and a half to acquire a device with a disc drive. With help from stragglers around Etho’s base, they were able to see their curiosity realized with this point and click adventure game. The plot of the game, according to our staff members, involves a hapless, eclectic group of spacefarers attempting to stop several stars from exploding. Despite its blatant scientific inaccuracies, the staff has noted that the game’s 1990s neon-themed aesthetic choices and campy dialogue has made the endeavor of searching for a disk drive worth it.
Item 3: The memoir of a deceased singer
This memoir, titled Unremarkable In Hindsight, details the life of Oliver Ophelia Vidi, a secondary member of a boy band from the early 2010s. The cover shows a pale, curly-haired teenager with a nose ring and pointed ears. The singer, who describes himself as less than talented but valued for his photogenic cherubic face, holds great disdain for himself and all of his band members, noting that the bubblegum pop they created could not hold a candle up to other singing groups within the genre that happened to skyrocket at the right moment. Oliver notes a hardy grudge he held against the lead of the band, who seemed to revel in the spotlight of being a teenage idol, because Oliver believed that the band was composed of complete hacks who saw a way to make a quick buck after being featured on an MTV reality show. Oliver also notes that his own taste in music was so diametrically opposed to the group’s own that the songs they performed made him want to fly into a rage on multiple occasions. One of his greatest gripes with the group is that they all “Absolutely refused to learn how to play any musical instruments. It is as if they were allergic to even touching one.” He details the agony of having his middle name revealed to the world in a joke told by one of the older members of the band who was six years his senior and saw the others as immature by comparison. A few months after his memoir was written, Oliver died during a confrontation during a hiking trip, having been stabbed with a knife by his traveling companion.
Item 4: An EMDR Manual and a notebook
This book was found near one of Pearl’s alien trees, seemingly recently bought. The manual describes in great detail the preparation, processing, and evaluation of the practice, as well as a collection of studies in which examples of the practice are given. Words of caution litter the manual, and it is heavily emphasized that the practice should not be taken lightly nor performed by someone who is not professionally trained. A dark blue quill was found in a notebook next to the manual, filled to the brim with notes written in small and practically illegible cursive. A note was found inside of the book requiring the manual and notebook be turned in to The Overseer office as promptly as possible if ever lost so that they may pick it up, and for the staff not to add any notes to the notebook’s blank pages. The staff, while happy to keep the book in safekeeping, has not followed these instructions and has doodled a clowder of cats on the first blank page they found.
Item 5: A box of LEGO blocks
This box of LEGO blocks was found in one of the Scarland hotels, though they all appear to have been glued together in a strange amalgamation resembling a modern art abstract sculpture. The blocks are all sizes and colors, and the staff has noted that they would not be surprised if an inebriated person had assembled all of them in this strange array during a vacation, though the staff did note that they enjoy the sculpture and will likely keep it for themselves if no one would like to claim in.
Item 6: Four Jack-O’Lanterns
These pumpkins are quite large and have all been carved to carry faces on all sides resembling a cluster of Hermits making different expressions. The faces include those of Cleo, Zedaph, Tango Tek, Scar, Cubfan, Gem, Iskall, and xBCrafted. They have also all been donned witch hats that appear to have been bought from a costume shop. The staff has placed them all around the office in preparation for Halloween.
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia!
And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week!
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 11 degrees and a low of -2 degrees. Skies will be sunny throughout the day with patches of pink and orange hues tinting all areas during the late morning.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 6 degrees with a low of -4 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy throughout the day with hints of mysterious haze.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 8 degrees and a low of 0 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout the morning with showers throughout the afternoon and evening.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny and windy throughout the day with wind speeds up to 31 miles per hour.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 3 degrees and a low of -9 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy throughout the day.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 13 degrees and a low of 5 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear throughout the day with occasional flashes of spider web clouds.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day with constant downpours.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 10 degrees and a low of -4 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny throughout the day with high winds up to 27 miles per hour.
Now onto other news below the cut!
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A collection of Modigliani paintings
These long-faced paintings, reproduced for commercialism in the Shopping District, were found scattered throughout Scarland. They depict various men and women in sitting poses with relatively uninterested expressions and exaggeratedly long necks.
Item 2: A beard shaving kit
This kit was found in Etho’s ruins and includes a double edge safety razor, pre-shaving oil, after-shave balm, a badger brush, and a beard trimmer. This kit was taken out of a shulker box and left near Impulse’s Dwarven Keep.
Item 3: Three hotel luggage carts
These luggage carts were found with several empty unused trash bags piled on them near Hypno’s base. It is unknown what the intended purpose was for these luggage carts, and they are on the brink of falling apart.
Item 4: A book about keeping iguanas
This reptile pet-care book was found in Pearl’s tree house and was published in 2022. There are illustrations on each page and the book appears to have been very well-loved over the past year. The illustrations are fully colored and appear to be as detailed as humanly possible.
Item 5: A headband with three skulls
This headband has three plastic skulls attached to them and is covered in glitter. The headband itself is black and the skulls are bright orange, purple, and green.
Item 6: A group of miniature pumpkin stress balls
These stress balls in the shape of miniature pumpkins were found near xBCrafted’s base and have been painted with various geometric patterns using a rainbow color palette. They glow in the dark and appear to have been ordered from a very old magazine catalog.
Item 7: A cursed box
This box, fused shut with an intricate golden vine pattern on the lid loop around the front, has launched its finder into a wall upon them attempting to open it. The finder suggests burying it if opening it is not possible.
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia!
And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!
Joe Hills: (Nearly said Joe Hills and I think that says a lot about me.) Joe Hills.
Mumbo Jumbo: Mumbo Mug… I now know what to get everyone I know for their birthdays.
Pearlescentmoon: Happy Wet Cat Wednesday to all those who celebrate.
ZombieCleo: Everyone, go check out Cleo's clock tower game! It is very cool and not inspired by Life SMP Mafia in any way, shape, or form.
Now onto other news under the cut!
Weekly Weather Report
By Lydia
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of -5 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day without any unusual effects. Temperatures are expected to become significantly cooler this week.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 8 degrees and a low of -3 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy throughout the day with spider web patterns during the sunnier patches.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 6 degrees and a low of -2 degrees. Skies will continue to be cloudy with light winds of 10 miles per hour.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 10 degrees and a low of 2 degrees. Skies will be sunny all day with minor skyquakes during the early afternoon.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of 3 degrees. Skies will be partly sunny with whispering winds throughout the entire day.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 7 degrees and a low of -4 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day, with the rain variation being prismatic: falling in rainbow-hued drops.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 13 degrees and a low of 0 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout most of the day with a chance of thunderstorms in the early morning. Expect them to clear quickly if Bdubs is present.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 11 degrees and a low of -2 degrees. Skies will be sunny throughout the day with patches of pink and orange hues tinting all areas during the late morning.
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A guidebook on couple’s therapy
This guidebook, titled So, You’ve Gotten Married In Vegas was found near Welsknight’s cathedral and appears to have been written in the early 2000s. The binding is well worn and notes are scrawled in the margins of most of the pages. The advice inside appears to have been written by a person who absolutely despises their spouse and desperately wants to divorce them. It reads as less of a guidebook and more as an angrily written diary of someone with an on-and-off relationship with their spouse over the course of 5 years. Staff members have noted feeling ill at ease when reading this book and have the strong urge to pawn it off to the nearest shop that will take it.
Item 2: A baseball card of Honus Wagner
Perhaps the most confusing object dropped at the lost and found, this card was found near Impulse’s base and appears to be autographed by the late baseball player himself. It glows in the dark and has been said to whisper prices to anyone who holds it, seemingly random high numbers with no other context other than perhaps what the card could be sold for in another place.
Item 3: A painting of three women asleep at a table
This painting appears to have been created sometime between 1982 and 1991, and depicts three women at a 1950s restaurant snoozing away at a colorful table filled with hamburgers, french fries, milk shakes, and waffles. The painting itself is drawn to mimic the cubist art style, and contains vivid colorations of the food more so than the people in the painting.
Item 4: A key ring full of ornate keys
This key ring contains approximately 40 keys that are all designed in the style of 1400s French decor. It is unknown what they open or how they were acquired, but staff members have been using them to attempt to open everything that they are able to get their hands on.
Item 5: A kitschy cat wall clock
This black cat wall clock has two eyes that tick back and forth in keeping time, as well as a swaying tail. Staff members have noted occasional meowing coming from the clock as well, and the office cats have plotted to see it destroyed over the next few days. If you would like to take this off of our hands, please do so quickly!
Item 6: Two bottles of hand sanitizer
These large bottles of hand sanitizer were found near Pearl’s base, each filled half way. They have no unusual qualities and staff members have been using it as well, noting that it has a pleasant perfume mixed in as well.
Fun and Games
This weeks fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!
Word Search and Crossword by Lydia
Brain Teasers by Azure
And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week!
Wedding bells chime out over the emerald rolling hills of Hermitcraft Season 9 as the Newspaper team and many other individuals come together to celebrate Nes, Alistair, and Roo getting married. There was a flurry of emotions in that chapel, some were understandable like Thorne preparing to crash the wedding photos and break every bone in his body, just for the bit. The sound of chatter was a cheerful murmur which could be heard for kilometers (sorry, Americans) around. The sounds of this wedding drifted through the Autumn evening. The evening’s events kicked off with The Overseer leading the guests into the cathedral and making sure everyone was seated and comfortable. The officiant of the wedding, Mr. Xisumavoid himself, looked slightly nervous. This reporter can only assume that it has been a hot minute since he officiated a citizen wedding. There was a slight wind and chill in the air. It was a brisk 19 degrees celsius outside with a slightly warmer 20 degrees celsius inside the cathedral. Once all of the guests were seated, the announcer Joe Hills themselves stepped up to the Microphone and gave a short Haiku welcoming everyone to the venue. As the Hermitcraft orchestra played the song “Exhale” from Sky Children Of The Light, The entire body of The Overseer minus Roo of course because y’know Roo’s the one getting married. Roo’s dress with a suit jacket was a deep midnight blue. If you looked closely you could see the stars from above glinting ever so slightly. Inside the jacket were the star maps of Hermitcraft as well as a paw print of one of the rats from the office.
As is my understanding the colour theme was blues. So rather monochromatic. As the gaggle of a wedding party glided down the isle coloured light filtering down upon them. Nes and Alistair. Nes wore a stunning white to blue gown which in the coloured light glittered. The dress was like fairy floss with how floofy and puffy it was. Alistair’s suit complimented Nes' dress nicely. The wedding party all wore prismarine blue suits/dresses and carried blue bouquets. Azure walked down the aisle infornt of Nes and Alistair Variety throwing deep blue flowers. As the party walked up to the altar and peeled off to sit in the front row Roo, Nes and Alistair hugged each other.
Next came the vows. They were all heart felt, some more comedic than others.
And then they were married. In this moment of happiness it felt peaceful.
When the wedding party went outside to take photos the wind picked up slightly to add to the atmosphere. The photos turned out great mostly and then there was one which ended up wonderful.
… That was the one that Thorne photobombed. Thorne committed to the bit so much that if it wasn’t as hilarious and that he didn’t immediately respawn that this author would have been writing another obituary.
The newlyweds gave each guest a small flower to keep in their bases.
From the whole office, the server, the watchers, listeners and those in between we wish you three an amazing marriage.
Now onto other news under the cut!
This Week At The Overseer HQ: Decked Out Schemes
By Lydia
After the wedding, the staff of The Overseer returned to their newfound temporary pastime of eagerly watching and making bets on their favorite Hermits’ runs of Decked Out. The betting pool began shortly before the debut of Decked Out, with the staff planning on keeping the scores in shifts so that they would all have time to partake in running the ostentatious obstacle course themselves. While the cats have decided to abstain from participating in the betting pool, the rats leapt at the chance to make their predictions known. The staff has wasted no time at all in their pursuit of both game victories and the bragging rights of predicting the Hermits’ results after each long session.
The Overseer staff’s runs of Decked Out have ranged from dying two minutes into the run to completing several games in a variety of methods, almost all of them involving them trying and failing to break the redstone, hiding in corners, and using sticky tack to attempt to climb the walls and ceilings. Citizens have noted their surprise that the staff has not yet been banned from the game, but the Decked Out Crew has stated that they find the staff “incompetently entertaining,” and “A hilarious display of a freakshow running through a dungeon.” Some staff members took this as a compliment and hatched an idea: charging citizens to watch them run recklessly through the course without a care to be seen. This idea was enthusiastically received with several tomatoes to their faces and boos from their fellow players. Undeterred, the staff continued to play the game with a considerably smaller audience watching them be hurled into the walls by Ravagers and psionically split in half by Wardens.
While the staff has been solely focused on Decked Out for the past few weeks, the rats of The Overseer testing their craftsmanship, creating a collection of Overseer merchandise and attempting to sell it for an exorbitant amount of diamonds to any passing Citizens. A few staff members who have caught wind of this have decided to fully invest in this scheme, adding their own embellishments and claiming that all of their merchandise has magical properties, though this is far from the case, as anyone who can detect magic would be able to tell unwitting citizens. Following suit to those who responded to the attempt to offer paid showings to audiences to watch the staff run Decked Out, those who had realized that the merchandise is not magical in nature took to throwing eggs at the building and staff members who had attempted to dupe them.
Dividing time between the ceaseless entertainment of Decked Out and the book keeping of The Overseer’s paper sales and merchandise has since resulted in an ever-revolving schedule based almost entirely on a Chore Wheel, with all of the recurring weekly article categories, cleaning days, and snack lists written in crayon on construction paper. It would be remiss to overlook the involvement of the rats in this endeavor, as they have been utmostly stringent in keeping the office space in its most polished condition. The staff noted how impressive it is that so many tiny paws could turn a cluttered miniature maze of offices (many without any walls) into a pristine, air-freshened, and perfectly uncluttered structure. The rats are paid handsomely with both diamonds and pizza, though they appear to only care for the guarantee of incoming pizza on a weekly basis.
Although the required volunteering stint at The Office of Unofficial Hermitcraft Documentation has ended for The Overseer staff, a few members of the newspaper had realized that they had taken a liking to working a second day job and had decided to stay, though they were encouraged by those in the office to be aware of their work-life balance and not to spend too much time hunched over their keyboards and creating communication devices. Some of the staff members who chose to take the extra endeavor noted staying because they enjoyed seeing the reactions of new citizens when asked a series of unrelated questions in particular, including but not limited to inquiries about the level of acid one could shoot from their fingertips, the potential reshaping of their wings should the Watchers desire it, whether they believe the Sculk infection will ever be cured, whether they have played that new video game everyone’s been raving about, and what their favorite biome delicacies are. Other staff members who have stayed have noted enjoying the benefits of the near daily doughnut breakfasts and have been stealing all of the extra doughnuts and special drinks to bring back to The Overseer Headquarters.
As the staff reaches the end of its update for this brief view into its members' lives, The Overseer would like to thank all of our readers for continuing to support our newspaper each week. We hope that you have a wonderful time reading our recurring issues and with Decked Out!
Weekly Weather Report
By Lydia
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 22 degrees. Skies will remain sunny throughout the entire day with low wind speeds. Clouds in the shape of spiderwebs will be scattered throughout the sky.
Thursday: Temperatures will become cooler throughout the rest of the week, reaching a high of 20 degrees and a low of 8 degrees today. Skies will remain fairly clear with a slight chance of more spiderweb clouds.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 22 degrees and a low of 10 degrees. Skies will have scattered showers throughout the afternoon, with a very high chance of raining amethyst shards throughout the day. Make sure to keep your head covered.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 19 degrees and a low of 7 degrees. Skies will be mostly sunny throughout the day with high winds.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 11 degrees. Skies will be mostly rainy today with low winds.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 17 degrees and a low of 9 degrees. Skies will remain mostly rainy with a very high frequency of psionic screeches throughout all areas coming from other dimensions. This is a good time to get some earplugs!
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 15 degrees and a low of 4 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear throughout the day, but whirlpools will be very frequent in all oceans.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 12 degrees and a low of -5 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day without any unusual effects.
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: Lost Cats
These small gremlins may have escaped a laboratory. They are two Maine Coons that have been shrunken down to the size of two peas. They bite frequently and were found fighting off two rats, becoming the victors. They are in a tupperware terrarium the size of an average drawing tablet with air holes and chopped up cat food.
Item 2: A book of Hermitcraft landmarks
This book seems to have been compiled to record materials and the building time spans for all of the large bases of Hermitcraft from Seasons 2 through 7. This book has a teal and green cover with a crude illustration of the Hermitcraft logo on the front.
Item 3: A knitted sweater
This sweater says “Eat Your Cake” and has a depiction of a knife cutting a piece of strawberry shortcake with blood coming from it. There are two eyeballs depicted on the top of the piece. The rest of the sweater is a beige color with pastel stitching scattered throughout the base.
Item 4: A collection of old boots
These pairs of boots come in all kinds, including working boots, hiking boots, leather boots, stiletto boots, snow boots, dress boots, rain boots, and horse riding boots. They come in an array of colors, including red, orange, blue, brown, black, green, and yellow.
Item 5: A jukebox disc that plays a series of different laughs
This disc includes the laughs of hyenas, drunken partygoers, elated musicians, Decked Out Wardens, and of victorious players in MCC. Far from the mere stock laughter played in sitcoms, these laugh tracks sound as if they were recorded and edited in the style of The OKeh Laughing Record, which was recorded in Germany by Beka Records in 1920. Listeners report the disc giving them an eerie but not unpleasant feeling upon listening to it.
Item 6: A class schedule of nonsensical courses
This class schedule contains a series of courses that do not appear to be based in any traceable science, arithmetic, literature, or language, nor do they appear to be rooted in any previously established form of Hermitcraft records. No name was found on the class schedule, although it appears to have been printed rather recently. No academic institution was found associated with the schedule, either. The courses include the following:
11:15 The Phainey System of the Brain
12:30 Digestive Studies of Owl Rats
1:15 Lunch
2:30 Rudimentary Math of Insectoid Brains
3:15 Advanced Literature of Imelda’s Pocket Dimension
4:30 Introduction to Helium Language
5:15 Dinner
6:30 Advanced Theatrical Memory Recollection
Item 7: A collection of Overseer Merchandise
A collection of sweatshirts, watches, snow globes, sunglasses, socks, and tote bags with The Overseer logo was found in a large shopping bag just outside of Scarland.
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!
Word Search and Crossword by Lydia
Brain Teasers by Azure
And that's all for this week folks! Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week!
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 21 degrees and a low of 15 degrees. It will be slightly windy and mostly sunny, with wind speeds of 15 miles per hour.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 24 degrees and a low of 13 degrees. Winds will be slow with a speed of 2 miles per hour. It will be mostly cloudy with occasional shockwaves tearing through the sky, causing clouds to be torn apart and scattered.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 20 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with expectations to clear up in the afternoon.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 32 degrees and a low of 23 degrees. Skies will be mostly clear with windy conditions reaching 25 miles per hour.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 27 degrees and a low of 18 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the afternoon but clear up quickly. Gusts of hot air will blow through the server, accompanied by occasional wisps of flames.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 29 degrees and a low of 16 degrees. Skies will be cloudy throughout the entire day with higher humidity today than throughout the rest of the week, making the air feel more like 35 degrees most of the day.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 32 degrees and a low of 25 degrees. Dust storms will be prevalent throughout the day and skies will be sunny.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 22 degrees. Skies will remain sunny throughout the entire day with low wind speeds. Clouds in the shape of spiderwebs will be scattered throughout the sky.
Now onto other news under the cut!
Astrology Corner: DeckedOutScopes
By Corundumcat
Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday, look up your star sign, and wonder, “Will I immediately be eaten by Tango’s Cough or Pumpkin” “Am I going to embrace my inner Ethoslab Season 1?” Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.*
Aries: You will max out clank and dance around all of the problems and chaos in the ✨dungeon✨.
Taurus: You are an unpaid worker who has found some great friends, and while this will look great on your resume, it’s not the same as volunteering at music festival, is it?
Gemini: You, like your namesake, are really excited to play. HOWEVER, unlike your namesake, you do not venture in as you like the waiting room.
Cancer: You got to meet Mrs. Tango in your last run… let’s just say she didn’t like you.
Leo: You are in charge of naming pet ravagers and you were asked if you could name it Tango’s Hug. You were confused, so you did. (They paid in frost embers).
Virgo: You are the actor in the dark room who gets to congratulate the successful runners.
Libra: You are trying to adopt Pumpkin.
Scorpio: You are there as the person who hugs the friends who were unsuccessful and got taken by Tango’s Cough.
Sagittarius: You have a custom Decked Outfit and are trying to win the fashion contest.
Capricorn: You are the mad lads who are doing the spreadsheet analysing everyone’s scores
Aquarius: You listen to “Better When I’m Dancing” whilst running the dungeon.
Pisces: You are going to end up on the news channel for starting with the hardest difficulty and doing really well.
All star signs: come by my cryptids corner if you have the chance.
*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you. You just may get a tad lost
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A heavy backpack full of amethyst
This backpack is dyed a bright orange with blue accents and is filled with two stacks of amethyst. Basic diamond mining tools were also found inside the pack, along with three stacks of torches.
Item 2: A necklace of animal teeth
This necklace appears to be made out of the teeth of several Ravagers and is painted with intricate spiraled patterns.
Item 3: A pile of shoelaces with frayed ends
These shoelaces appear to have been made a few years ago and were found in a small pouch. They come in several bright colors and are very short, as if they were made for children’s sneakers. There were no aglets on these shoelaces and the ends are very frayed.
Item 4: A box of pavement chalk
This box of chalk was found in the Shopping District next to a series of chalk drawings lining the paths. These drawings resemble large chasms, out of which are bursting colorful lightning bolts. There are also several circles, inside of which are written, “Bad Luck Spot.”
Item 5: A pack of playing cards
This pack of cards was found near Grian’s rocks and is designed with characters from several 1980s arcade games. They were found scattered in the area.
Item 6: A necklace with a locket
This was found in the woods and gave the finder an electric shock when they attempted to open it. There is a distant ticking sound coming from it and an engraving on the back, written in galactic. Half of the engraving is scratched off. The finder suggests taking it as far as possible or finding a way to destroy it completely.
Item 7: A set of tools and weapons in an overgrown box
This set includes a sword with Riptide 3, an axe with Feather Falling 2, a pickaxe with Blast Protection 3, a bow with Thorns 5, a shovel with Aqua Affinity, a fishing rod with Flame, and shears with Swift Sneak 3 and Soul Speed 2.
Item 8: A life-sized crocheted office printer plush
Stuffed with cotton, it is scented like that of a fresh book. The finder believes whoever made this took “Your workplace is your home,” quite literally.
Item 9: A shipment of merchandise to be released
This was found via a motorcycle delivery driver crashing into someone’s garden. The items include subtly designed Warden hoodies, frosty mugs resembling frozen shards, Collector’s Edition Decked Out 2 Cards, relic charms, and two dozen shirts that say, “I survived the burning dark and all I got was this lousy t-shirt,” with one of the dozen being colored to resemble a Ravager and the other colored like that of a Warden. The apparels are made with moderately thick fabric, making them ideal for both warm and cool weather.
Item 10: An indestructible 25-ounce goose-shaped mug
This goose-shaped mug depicts the goose’s neck as the handle. It says, “FLIGHT, FRIGHT, FIGHT!” in the font of Another Danger by The Branded Quotes, written in vibrant red letters. It has Unbreaking 5 and Mending. It has been dropped eight times on the finder’s way to the office and not a single chip or dent has formed.
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!
Word Search and Crossword by Lydia
Brain Teasers by Azure
And that's all for this week folks! Have a wonderful week y'all!
When asked for who you would want on your team in anything at all, picking the staff of The Overseer may be a poor choice. This is not because we might not be good at the game, but because, in the most positive way possible, the news staff are the most uncoordinated mess you may come across. So, when given the opportunity to take a shot at Decked Out 2, the news staff would—well, let’s get into what they* would do.**
*they being only 5 members of the News Crew for now, but more may come soon as the rest of the staff at The Overseer explore DO2 :]
**all of these are observations and things that Roo thinks they would do. In reality, most staff members would probably do a trillion times better than this, and the knowledge that Roo has of decked out is about 2 months behind due to forgetting everything 30 seconds after hearing it
Lydia’s first run:
Having planned for approximately half a minute before entering, Lydia would immediately find ways to befriend the ravagers but only for a little bit, until they would be able to make it safely down to the final level, only to be killed by a warden immediately. All in all, a solid run! Definitely further than some other staff members would make it, regardless of the impromptu ravager befriending.
Corundumcat’s first run:
Despite never having seen Decked Out in her life, Corundumcat would somehow find a way into the back passages, and decide to take up work in Decked Out, scaring players who were already on edge, and becoming the local cryptid. It doesn’t pay, but it may be a better option in comparison to the newspaper.
Roo’s first run:
Having known they were going to die within 30 seconds, Roo would be extra careful, and extremely meticulous about finding artifacts, but the first time he caught sight of a ravager, would scream loud enough to be heard at Gem’s base, and hide in a little nook in the walls for two hours before somehow finding his way out (although not the intended way).
Coffee’s first run:
Coffee would, like Lydia, attempt to make friends with the ravagers, this time with berries, a better offer, but one that the ravagers wouldn’t like. Relics would be collected simply for the fact that they’re shiny, and not for points, but relics would be quickly forgotten when Coffee would find his way out of the actual gameplay section and into the walkways full of redstone and be instead infinitely interested in the blinky lights and noises.
Morph’s first run:
Morph, like Lydia, would head into the game with a plan, but instead of hunting for relics, she would instead pick up a variety of pretty rocks, infinitely frozen ice, mushrooms, and skulk, and she would somehow not see a single ravager, warden or otherwise hostile mob. She died when she fell into a lava pool while distracted by her collection.
Z’s first run:
Is it counted as a run if Z simply set up base in the pirate ship on the first level? Probably not, but they’re there regardless, and having a lovely time playing pirates. The skeletons may be an issue, but isn’t everything. After dying a few times to them, Z bribed them with their arts and crafts to be left alone.
Now onto other news under the cut!
Affiliate Happenings
By Roo
Mumbo Jumbo: It won't be long before realistic Mumbo starts haunting me in person. I fear the day. (/j I hope he's not gonna haunt me irl. Please.)
Pearlescentmoon: Pearl affiliates, you'll be thrilled to hear I am a pointed cat. :]
Xisumavoid: One hermillion tickets to the Hermovie, please!
Weekly Weather Report
By Lydia
Temperatures are represented in Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 27 degrees and a low of 18 degrees. Downpours are expected to begin today and last throughout the entire week.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 33 degrees and a low of 26 degrees. Downpours will continue, with high humidity throughout the entire day.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 38 degrees and a low of 29 degrees. Thunderstorms will appear early in the day but will likely be eviscerated by Bdubs sleeping.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 40 degrees and a low of 31 degrees. Rain will start overnight and last until the early evening.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 44 degrees and a low of 36 degrees. Rain will begin in the late morning and continue until very late evening.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 42 degrees and a low of 33 degrees. Thunderstorms will reappear throughout the entire day but will likely be quickly dissipated by Bdubs.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 37 degrees and a low of 25 degrees. Brief patches of sun will be visible throughout the morning but conditions will become cloudy from the early afternoon onward. Rain showers will occur on and off.
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 35 degrees and a low of 23 degrees. Light rain is expected throughout the entire day and might clear up by Thursday, however, this is not certain and may continue onwards.
Astrology Corner: Cookbook Scopes
By Corundumcat
Have you been feeling without guidance? Do you look at your birthday, look up your star sign, and wonder, “Will I feel feel like baking?” “Am I going to embrace my inner Mary Berry?” Don’t worry, here at The Overseer, we can help you.*
Aries: “The Sourdough School” by Vanessa Kimbell
Taurus: “The Basic Cookbook” by Thermomix
Gemini: “Greece” by Susana Tee
Cancer: “The Plain Cake Appreciation Society” by Tilly Pamment
Leo: “Maggie’s Harvest” by Maggie Beer
Virgo: “Now To Eat” by Nigella Lawson
Libra: “Lune” by Kate Ried
Scorpio: “Artisan Cheese Making At Home” by Mary Karlin
Sagittarius: “The Fat Duck Cookbook” by Heston Blumenthal
Capricorn: “The Comfort Bake” - Sally Wise
Aquarius: “The Village” by Matt and Lentil
Pisces: “The Little Library Cookbook” by Kate Young
All star signs: “The Cooks Companion” by Stephanie Alexander.
*Ignore how blatantly specific these are. Nothing bad will happen to you. This writer has all of these books if you have any suggestions reblog them to us.
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]*. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A dice set of 7
This dice set has words and runes inscribed on each die. They have been designed to resemble a galaxy in their paint job, with each galaxy appearing to be moving as well. This set looks expensive to make and buy, and upon rolling any die, a spell seems to be casted.
Item 2: A perfumed note
This note is addressed to the large pinball machine in Joe’s arcade and begs the apparatus to grant them luck in the writer’s name, as they have made a very high bet with their friends that rests on the result of a long-standing game of pinball. It is not signed.
Item 3: A book about owls
This book, stated to have been written within this year, gives and overview of what an owl is as well as the species history and more about each variation. The writing is slightly dry, but comprehensive and quite easy to understand, even for young children. An illustration on the front depicts a Great Horned Owl, a Barn Owl, a Northern Pygmy Owl, and a Northern Saw Whet Owl.
Item 4: A set of lightbulbs
These lightbulbs appear to be 120-Watt bulbs with a flattened head, giving them a more triangular shape. They are brand new and have not been taken out of their box.
Item 5: A spiral notebook with song lyrics inside
This green spiral notebook has several stickers of someone’s original creature designs, in the style of an early 2000s website such as Neopets or Webkinz. Inside, it appears that the owner was attempting to write original songs, and both the handwriting and lyrics themselves seem to reflect that of someone in their very early teenage years.
Item 6: A set of painted canvases
These small canvases are 6 inches in length and 4 inches in width, with painted illustrations in acrylic depicting different types of trees, including baobab trees, juniper trees, pine trees, birch trees, oak trees, and dragon blood trees.
Item 7: An electric setup kit for a hot pot and grill
This kit is for a hot pot and grill that can be made at home, with enough ingredients for lunch in an office. It appears to have been sent to the wrong address. It contains a variety of broths from chicken collagen, tom yum, creamy cheese, and sukiyaki. It also includes noodle varieties, meats, vegetables, and things you would find in a steamboat. A 30% off coupon for a future transaction was also found hidden in the kit. The person suggests the meal contents be consumed if not picked up within two days.
Item 8: “Spuds Galore,” a scrapbook cookbook
This handmade scrapbook cookbook contains recipes that all use potatoes in every kind one can imagine. It is the main ingredient to but not limiting the recipes to fries, stuffed fries, potato donuts, potato cakes, potato pancakes, potato nuggets, potato sauce, potato smoothies, potato accordion, potato steaks, and potato paste.
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia!
And that's all for this week folks! Have a wonderful time with the opening of Decked Out 2 and try not to die!
Citizens are preparing throughout the entire server to watch their favored Hermits test their parkour, survival, strategy, and navigational skills at the debut of Decked Out, the extensive second edition of the Hermitcraft dungeon crawler created by Redstone engineering and digital architectural mastermind Tango Tek. The game is scheduled to make its grand debut on Saturday, September 9th, and has garnered the public’s attention since the announcement of its early creation over a year ago. Citizens who enjoyed the first edition of Decked Out and who have made a point to be there to play the second are eagerly gathering outside of the venue in hopes of being the first Citizen players in this underground game of wonders. Many of them have been tuning in to Tango Tek’s construction-centered broadcasts to watch him build his brainchild block by block, even giving suggestions when he turns to his audience for a myriad of minds to brainstorm together.
One of the first Citizen Affiliations, the Decked Out Crew, is ebullient in its anticipation to see the game’s opening day. Complete with Redstone engineers, laboratory assistants, maintenance workers, Ravager and Warden Keepers, medics, actors, set designers, landscapers, sound technicians, a stage manager, and a Citadel terrorizer, the Decked Out Crew is brimming with revelry and raucous hyperactivity. Despite the frequent complaints from the Crew that no one gets paid, they also stated that they chose to stay for the long haul of their own volition and haven’t asked for payment, spending much of their time enjoying the game and its features instead. It is still thought that Tango Tek is not aware of most of them frequenting his vicinity due to focusing only on the monumental task in front of him and being reluctant to even think of asking for assistance. Members of the Decked Out Crew who are of age were seen gathering bottles of champagne while others decorated both inside and outside of the break room as well as the Citadel itself to the sound of booming music ranging from rock to metal and even to Halloween-themed songs. A large countdown sign has been placed in the break room to track the hours to the opening day as well, among a large supply of junk food. To the Decked Out Crew, The Overseer wishes you the best of luck in the coming months!
Located directly under the Deep Frost Citadel, this new version of Decked Out takes everything tested in the first edition and rewires it to suit the current season, using every new feature Minecraft offers that can be incorporated into the experience. Tango Tek has dedicated over thirteen months of his life to improving upon these concepts and building new ones. While the goal of the escape room-like venture for each player to retrieve an artifact within the dungeon from one of four capacious levels remains the same, enhancements built as cornerstones to this year’s edition to the game’s internal mechanics, overall environmental ambience, maze-like pathways, new creatures, and sound system among many others will make this dungeon crawler a perfectly blood-curdling and exhilarating new experience, both for those who are brand new to Decked Out and those who have played its first edition. A tutorial of how to play Decked Out will also be released on Tango Tek’s YouTube channel.
The Overseer would like to wish a well-deserved, hearty congratulations to Tango Tek for the debut of his most elaborate project yet and hopes that all of our fellow Citizens enjoy its opening day!
Now onto other news below the cut!
Weekly Weather Report
By Lydia
Temperatures are represented using Celsius. Sorry, Americans!
Wednesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 42 degrees and a low of 28 degrees. Skies will be cloudy throughout the day with a high chance of scattered showers throughout the morning.
Thursday: Temperatures will reach a high of 38 degrees and a low of 27 degrees. Skies will be mostly cloudy with high winds.
Friday: Temperatures will reach a high of 26 degrees and a low of 21 degrees. Skies will be rainy throughout the entire day with all precipitation being very light.
Saturday: Temperatures will reach a high of 30 degrees and a low of 22 degrees. Skies will be clear throughout the day with a chance of rip currents in the ocean being very likely. Be careful if you are going swimming.
Sunday: Temperatures will reach a high of 40 degrees and a low of 32 degrees. Humidity will be particularly high with a chance of passing thunderstorms in the afternoon, however, expect them to dissipate quickly due to Bdubs sleeping them away.
Monday: Temperatures will reach a high of 38 degrees and a low of 29 degrees. Skies will be partly cloudy with an increased chance of Server-wide confusion passing through. Be prepared to forget most of your plans today.
Tuesday: Temperatures will reach a high of 35 degrees and a low of 26 degrees. Skies will be sunny and humid throughout the entire day. Rip currents will continue to pose a threat to those going swimming.
Wednesday; Temperatures will reach a high of 42 degrees and a low of 35 degrees. Skies will continue to be sunny and humid throughout the day.
Lost and Found
By Lydia
All of the following items have been brought to The Overseer staff’s office for safekeeping until they are claimed. If you recognize one of these items as yours, please visit us to receive your items, or contact us at [email protected]*. Lost items will be sent to Twinkly Trash if not picked up after two weeks. Thank you!
*Not a real email address.
Item 1: A brand new leather couch
This two-person dark-chocolate leather couch appears to have been made within the past month and has no markings or specific design notes attached. It was found near one of the buildings in the Scarland town square.
Item 2: A very ugly large rug
This rug has a very garish design reminiscent of 1980s couches catering to the elderly population. Staff members have noted feeling disgusted and nauseous when looking at the rug and have debated sending it to Twinkly Trash just to get it out of the office.
Item 3: A metal sculpture depicting a thin angry person
This metal sculpture depicts a very angry person wearing a long black dress, with long, straight hair and incredibly bloodthirsty eyebrows. The expression on their face is one the staff suspects holds the rage of a thousand suns. A tag on the sculpture reads, “The Aluminum Monster.”
Item 4: A pair of binoculars
This pair of binoculars was found near Grian’s base, along with several notes related to birdwatching.
Item 5: A field guide to Nether mobs
This field guide was found near Jevin’s base and contains a very basic overview for new players regarding exactly what it says on the cover. Several notes have been made in the margins of this book, presumably from someone who may be very new to the game.
Item 6: Six large bowling pins
These bowling pins were found near Joe’s arcade but are not part of his entertainment center. They were found with splatters of paint and haphazardly thrown together in an open Shulker box.
Item 7: A set of drawings of aliens
These drawings depict aliens presumably formerly occupying Pearl’s alien biome, with notes scrawled on them regarding different species evolutions. Some of them are drawn to be as harmless-looking as possible while others are drawn to be imposing and inherently eye-catching.
Item 8: A baby Warden
Found before it learned to Shriek, this Warden was found making clanking sounds in the sewer and had a name tag written in an ancient indeterminable language. Believed to be harmless, it is in its very early cognitive development stages.
Item 9: An axe guitar
This axe acoustic guitar has strings coated in gold and finely tuned, and has an axe edge equivalent to that of Sharpness 5.
Note: Items that are unclaimed after two weeks will be sent to Twinkly Trash Trade or kept at Overseer HQ for our own use.
Fun and Games
This week's fun and games are once again brought to you by Lydia and Azure!
Word Search and Crossword by Lydia
Brain Teasers by Azure
And that's all for this week folks! Hope you have a wonderful time at Decked Out 2's grand opening and have a great week!
