“Is it that obvious?” Annie laughed halfheartedly, extremely embarrassed. She was the new girl that cried on the job, and now a guest was consoling her, when she should be the one who had the answers. “No, you’ve all been great so far! How has your stay been?” She asked, kick starting her customer service voice back up.
henri smiled, “it’s been great here. all the staff are super nice, and i’m appreciative of all of them. sorry if i embarrased you, that wasn’t my intention. just trying to help.”
in which henri writes his mother a belated mother’s day letter. (tw: drug mention, neglect mention)
mom,
happy (late) mother’s day. i don’t know if you’ll ever see this. really, if i wanted to, maybe i could just hand this to you. i mean, we’re in the same city. would you recognize me? i don’t look that different, really, but i don’t think i’ve ever been the son on the forefront of your mind, to be fair. or maybe you’d be too high to care, although i hope not. i’m not gonna lie, the twelve years with you were hell, but in my heart, you are my mother and i hope you recover and find peace.
i should start with a thank you for trying. at times in those 12 years, things were alright. i know that you were really only trying to get back kennedy... but still. speaking of kennedy, i found him. i don’t think he likes me much, but we’re in contact now. it’s kind of awkward, i guess. we sorta had different lives...
after you, i did get adopted. really nice parents who couldn’t have kids on their own. they teach at the university of chicago, lived a really nice lifestyle. ended up funding my soccer playing. did you ever pay attention to soccer? i got to play for the us team, which was nice. we did pretty good. i’m at stanford now, though. i’m studying environmental engineering and playing soccer there.
did you expect that? did you ever expect anything for me? i know i said thank you and i hope you recover and dear lord i want to forgive you so bad and just let it leave and be done with it all but i cannot help but wonder whether you even saw me as a child or not. was i? was i your child or a device to get back kennedy, who you considered your real child.
do you know what that does to somebody, mom? constantly feeling like you’re unworthy of even basic needs? i have objectively a great life now but i feel awful. like i don’t deserve any of it and like i’ll always be somebody who doesn’t matter. i’m trying, it’s just so hard.
my life now is great, but i would trade it in a heartbeat to grow up with a mom who cared and saw me as her child.
i’m sorry. i really didn’t want to be this negative, it just kind of happened... i doubt you’ll ever reply, but if you ever want to, i’ll be here.
task 1 / playlist / some of henri’s favorite songs
the paper kites - bloom (bonus track) / alt-j - breezeblocks / hozier - cherry wine (live) / bon iver - faith / the paper kites - featherstone / vance joy - fire and the flood / bon iver - flume / edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros - home / of monsters and men - little talks / the lumineers - ophelia / the paper kites - paint / of monsters and men - six weeks / the neighbourhood - sweater weather / cage the elephant - trouble / hozier - work song
“tutoring huh? i did some in high school.” as kennedy slipped inside the guest suite, he quickly became slightly overwhelmed and annoyed with his brother. he hid it well, through a soft chuckle and shaking his head. “uh, one thing at a time please. i um, don’t have a reusable cup so if you don’t want to see me ‘destroy the environment’ or whatever, i’ll take a hot cup.” seriously who was this kid? kennedy could only roll his eyes playfully as he listened to his brother talk about his environmental shit. “listen, i don’t actually know any of that. i don’t know if they have soy milk or almond or whatever the fuck. i just know they have coffee.”
“ oh, i’m sorry... “ henri bit his lip and froze a bit, sensing the annoyance in his brother’s voice near the end. “ school and california done that to me, i think, uh, sorry. i-i’ll figure it out, it can just be hard to find vegan options, sorry. uh, here’s your cup. “ he smiled weakly as he handed it to him.
“I really don’t want to be this guy but– I’ve had a long day, hell, I’ve had a long month– and there was meant to be a bottle of Dom in my room. Any chance you’d know who I have to bribe to get it delivered?”
henri pursed his lips, shaking his head with an apologetic look, “really sorry dude, but i’m just a guest, and don’t really know who you’re looking for. uh, sorry it’s been a long day though?”
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