He hadn’t noticed he’d been holding his breathe for so long, not until he could feel the hospital bed dip and El’s arms were wrapped around him. Despite the exhaustion weighing down on him, Hop doesn’t hesitate to return the embrace. For a while he’d been in denial as if his mind had been playing some sick joke on him, making this all up to escape the horrors of The Upside Down even if for just a little bit. But this was real, he can feel how tightly she’s squeezing him and he can feel her tears staining the hospital gown. He can feel the way her body is shaking with every sob and it’s enough to spur tears of his own ; Jim Hopper has never been one to outwardly show his emotions.
Hell, for a long time he’d even forgotten what those even were. But then he’d left some eggos out in the woods.
❝ What? ❞ He questions, its enough to have him break away from the hug. ❝ Don’t ever apologize for that. It’s not your responsibility to keep me safe. As your dad I’m supposed to keep you safe. ❞ If he were faced with the same circumstances, he’d make the same decision over and over again. Anything to save El and the rest of those good kids from the dangers of The Lab. ❝ I need you to understand that. ❞ He can’t stress it enough, they were all aware that there’d be a possibility someone wouldn’t make it and Jim was willing to make that sacrifice himself. ❝ I love you too, kid. So much. ❞ Tears are rolling down his cheeks and he’s sure this is the first time she’s ever seen him cry. Placing a kiss on her head, he hugs her again with his free arm giving her another tight squeeze.
Joyce is holding onto one of his hands and it hadn’t registered in his head, he’s gone so long in the Upside Down that it almost felt foreign. He knows his skin is calloused and scarred from the constant exposure to the cold temperature down there. But Joyce’s warmth is so comforting. He wants to tell her that he tried contacting her, had gone to her house and called once and when he’d gone to visit again she was gone and so were her belongings. He has a lot to tell her, there are already pressing matters but that could wait for another day. For the moment he wanted to relish in the moment of being reunited with them. It was a bit overwhelming, but welcoming nonetheless ; he wasn’t complaining. ❝ Please tell me you’re helping me escape these stale, white walls. ❞ It comes out as a whisper as he tightens his embrace around her, with a free hand he moves a few strands of her hair away from her face.
“Sweetie –” She whispered at El’s words. They seemed to rip Joyce’s heart in two, the last thing she wanted was the girl blaming herself for not being able to save her dad. She eased one hand off of Hopper’s, laying it softly on El’s back to comfort her. She didn’t say anything, that was Hopper’s job, but … this wasn’t her fault, not in the slightest. If only Joyce could have believed that for herself, too, even now that she laid eyes on Hopper alive and so close to them, she saw his face flashing before her, his smile, the peace he’d made with dying for their children’s safety and she felt a painful stab in her chest. Never, never had Joyce thought she’d be able to do something like turning those keys.
Suddenly, her mind flashed back to a night a couple of weeks before they moved away from Hawkins. The phone call, the dead line – it couldn’t have been him. She would have heard him. Heard something, like she’d heard Will, if it had been him, she would have known it and she would have gone to find him, by herself, if necessary. Her grasp on his hand tightened, while she focused on gently caressing El’s back with her thumb. Maybe, if she held on forever, she could be sure he would never leave again. The tighter she held his hand, she more she could feel the rough, torn texture of their skin, and it made the knowledge of what he had been through so painfully true.
Joyce hardly knew where to stick her feelings – the pain of seeing El’s body shake with sobs, the sight of the man she’d thought lost and had wished to feel by her side for three long years, the thought of what he must have endured, the brief memory of that horrible place he’d spent three years in. All the things she wanted to say while still trying to uphold her composure, which was a lost cause judging from the tears that kept flooding her sight. Seeing this precious, fragile moment between father and daughter didn’t help soothe her emotions. It was rare to see Hop like this, and seeing the pain melt off of El like that was the best gift anyone could have given to Joyce.
She had so much to tell him. So much she needed to know. But for now, Joyce melted into him as she felt his arms around her tightening, taking in his familiar scent that was so unusually devoid of the smell of nicotine, closing her eyes to forget the world for a moment and just bask in this moment. It was like breathing for the first time after being underwater for a dangerously long time, and she could tell that she wasn’t the only one who felt this way. A small laugh escaped her, as she had already anticipated this question, yet she hadn’t expected it to be the first thing she’d hear from him. “What, you think I’d leave here without you?” Her voice was thin, breaking, a mere whisper as a response to his.
When she finally straightened to meet his gaze again, she hastily wiped a tear and her expression turned mischievous. “I also brought you something I thought you might crave.” She dug into the pockets of her flannel, producing (half) a pack of camels.
The conversation gave El a sick sense of deja vu, her stomach nearly dropping to her feet. Hopper’s insisting that she understand his words were all too reminiscent of the moments before they separated at Starcourt. If that didn’t get the waterworks going again, seeing Hopper cry, actually cry, sure did. She’d seen him angry, and she’d seen him happy. Actually being vulnerable enough to show his sadness in front of her, though? This was a first, one she didn’t know how to approach or handle herself. “Dad,” she whispered, letting herself sink into the hug. As much as she wanted to tell him it was okay, there was a part of her that felt like this was what they all needed. If they were starting over, being as open as possible was the key to that. “Thank you for coming back to me,” she muttered, her face still mostly pressed into the gown.
Joyce’s light touch ghosting her back acted as a way to bring her back to earth, finding herself moving out of the way for the two of them moments afterwards. Despite not being a giant part of it, watching their interactions was intriguing. They were still tiptoeing around each other slightly, as if they were hyper-aware of how fragile the moment was. Still, El’s eyes bounced between them curiously, the only movement from her side happening when she reached a hand up to wipe the dampness from her cheeks. She didn’t remember much about her parents, especially not together. The clearest memories were of her biological mother and the Lab, mostly thanks to connecting with Terry through the void and being shown. That was as much as she remembered about birth family. Watching Joyce and Hopper, though? It made it seem familiar again. Like this was where she was meant to be. Her family of choice.
She stifled a laugh once the box of cigarettes was presented, readjusting her position so that her head fit gently in the crook of Hopper’s shoulder. “You know I’m gonna bug you two about how bad smoking is for you tomorrow, right? Today is special, so...free pass.”
