words mean more than what is set down on paper

the caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but longed for still and her tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom but a caged bird stands on the grave of her dreams ● ● ● ● ●

[byulbams]

older & wiser. ( ara + yuna )

[byulbams]

                                                      [ . . . ]

"Oh, right—" (— She laughs as she grabs her friend by the wrist and unceremoniously pulls them inside the apartment. ) “Sorry about that, where have my manners gone!” (—She continues to laugh, quite obviously in a good mood, and helps her friend out as Ara takes her coat off. ) “Sorry, it’s a little chilly here.” (— She smiles apologetically, stepping to the side while waiting for Ara to take her shoes off; the heater was working, but Yuna was pretty sure that something was wrong with it—she just keeps forgetting to drop by the superintendent’s door so she can have it checked because everything was so busy, and now that she had a bit of time off, it was her own special day and she really didn’t want to deal with that; for some reason, the chillier temperature didn’t bother her quite that much anyway, but she thought she should warn her friend of it anyway. )

“The soup just got done around the time you got here actually;” (— She leads the way to the kitchen-slash-dining area, socked feet padding across the small distance between the front door and her destination; She smiles and just motions for her friend to take a seat anywhere she wanted—not a hard decision considering Yuna had just a corner table with three chairs surrounding it—before going off and grabbing some bowls and necessary utensils so she can set the table. ) “Where did you come from before you got here? Oh, and—” (— She points at the fridge where she’d earlier placed the box containing her small birthday cake—flavored mangoes and cream, because for some reason she was really on that craving recently. ) “You can fix those nice candles you got onto the cake, please and thank you!”

[hdxara-blog]

( — ; A soft chuckle escaped her reddish lips, followed by a gentle shake of her head in a silent response towards the other’s apologetic words; after all, there was absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Birthdays are the only excuse for enjoyment without resentment, therefore, Ara made a small mental note to sustain her friend’s good mood; it had indeed been the headlight for her day.) “Comparing to the snow on the street is a warm safe haven, dear!”

( — ; Delicate hands slid towards the zipper on the side of her caramel colored high heels boots, pulling it out with ease as she straightened up her posture, shoulders being raised in a comfortable shrug. The brunette peeled the thicker layer of leather that hover her shoulders and gently placed the jacket alongside with her friends’ winter wear, even with the slight chilly breeze accompanying her inside the apartment; it was a relief to have the weight of her clothes retrieved from her shoulders.)

“Although I know I shouldn’t be complaining, once I’m indeed going to miss the snow once summer arrives again, I would have cold over hot any time of the year.” ( — ; The brunette followed the younger across the environment and towards the kitchen, slender hands being pressed together in congratulatory claps in a childish display of excitement at the mention of the other’s cooking recipe. To say Ara adored Yuna’s cooking was an understatement, it always tasted like home, like a gentle stir of past memories that would always come to live in the midst of a dinner conversation; the best kind of nostalgia.)

“From a mysterious part of Seoul, actually, it never fails to amuse me how it seems that I don’t know the city, despite of how long I have been living here. “ ( — ; She shrugged her shoulders elegantly, sliding one of the chairs to take a sit across the other, in order to be able to properly gaze upon her friend as they spoke)” I went to buy a frame for the picture we took during Christmas, I accidently printed it a lot bigger to fit it in between the other ones, so I’m hanging it in somewhere within the apartment.” ( — ; A gentle smile danced across her reddish lips as she was rapidly pushed back onto her own two feet, hands succeed in opening the fridge as her hazel orbs gazed upon the interior, her eyebrow being arched in a playful manner) “You are really into Mangos nowadays, right? It does seems really delicious, though!”

[hdxara-blog]

aftermath.

[byulbams]

"Thank you." (— She can only repeatedly say the two grateful words as she continues to nod at her friend’s words, careful to listen and take everything into consideration even though her stubborn side keeps fending off the sensibility of the advice; The idea of a warm and relaxing shower perks her up—better than rehashing the night in her head, and trying to rationalise thoughts that seemed to constantly switch back and forth two opposite ends of the spectrum regarding Jonghyun. ) “A shower sounds nice—” (— She turns and smiles gratefully at her friend, arms wrapping around Ara’s frame and giving her a squeeze. ) “I’ll be out of your hair early in the morning, I promise. But I’ll make sure to make you breakfast first, okay?”

(— Pulling away, she straightens her clothes, and stretches her limbs, letting her friend go so the other can prepare what she’d been promised; It was late but at least she didn’t have to be alone with her thoughts—little mercies that she knew she had to be at least grateful for. )

■ ᴇɴᴅ

[hdxara-blog]

▒▒ ♛ ——- thread finale;

[ara-jjang-blog]

[♡]

[hdxara-blog]

consonance;

[byulbams]

                                                [ . . . ]

(— She smiles and nods, looking forward to Christmas just a bit more now that she was earlier; she wouldn’t able to be prepare a lot, but company over meant she was at least not going to be alone, and with Ara, even watching Home Alone seemed to be a decent prospect. ) “I’ll make us a simple lunch, if you buy other holiday treats?” (— She grins at her friend, leaning back against her seat and stretching her legs, which were beginning to feel cramped, under the table. ) “Hopefully other Christmas movies will be on that day, at least. Love, Actually, maybe.Hopefully.” (— She laughs as she adds the last part. )

“They ship in dried mangoes all year round!” (— She points out with a chuckle, now craving more of it as she talks of it. ) “From the Philippines or something. It’s just a little more costly, but—” (— She shrugs; It was true, the little pack of dried mangoes she’d had the other night cost her quite a bit more than she would have hoped, but she couldn’t stop herself from wanting, and she’d given in eventually. ) “Should we go now? Let me get you lunch, okay?” (— She stands up, starting to clear away the table of the used containers; she points at her friend’s drink. ) “Are you done with this?’

[hdxara-blog]

               “Cookies, gingerbread and peanut butter fudge! Am I forgetting something? Or at least the right amounts of Christmas treats that can fit my arms on my way back here,             because I trust you don’t exactly fancy having me to attempt to make them,                                                            now do you, dear?”

( —  ; Her laughter echoed timidly at her own statement, delicate hands being raised towards her forehead in a classic military greeting of concordance and obligation in a rather playful manner, although solitude was preferred over loneliness, the ghost of a smile couldn’t be refrained from waltzing across her reddish lips as a wordless gratitude for her friend’s invitation, consoled her to acknowledge someone was lovely enough to rather spend a family holiday in her company rather than by their own relatives, even if Yuna was far away from home, pretty much as herself.)

                 “Even if the movie selection disappoints us, Netflix never will, dear!”

( —  ; Velvet voice was decorated with a light pitch and a joke as she brought the edges of her coffee cup to meet her reddish lips for a sip and two, the lightly gentle raise of her shoulders in an elegant shrug was an indication of her undivided attention to her friend’s explanation, a mental note to herself as to where to find such nice tropical treats in the middle of a blizzard cold winter. The miracles of pregnancy, she mused, to find such rarities in every day routine.)

                   “Yes, let’s go! Do you already have in mind everything we need to buy?   Or do you need my aid with anything else? What do you plan on getting us for lunch, dear?”

( —  ; Slender hands moved rapidly to scoop the remains of their breakfast away from her friend’s hand, replacing it by the cup previously in her hold as she made her way to the sink and the trash can. The head shake she offer the younger was a silent indication for calmness and stillness, as they would be indeed in their feet for a while longer as soon as they crossed the entrance door.)

[byulbams]

older & wiser. ( ara + yuna )

                                          [ . . . ]

“Anyway, have you had dinner? My mother—” (— She chuckles as she recalls the conversation she’d had with her mother earlier that day, just a little marred by the niggling knowledge that she had big secrets she was keeping from her family—but that was a problem for another day that wasn’t her special day. ) “She called me up earlier today asking if I made myself seaweed soup because it was a staple, and all that and..” (— She smiles softly and just shrugs; the phone call had ended with her ending straight to the grocery after to get some ingredients, and here she was now. ) “So I have that, and some rice and meat too. I’m sure there’s enough for both of us—you’ll stay here with me for dinner, right?”

[hdxara-blog]

            “Yes, it really does suit you! It brings out your features, I like it very much! And you surely changed it for the best possible, brunette Yuna will bring you luck next year.”

( — ; Words were pronounced in a light pitch, an indication of a soft joke as her fingertips trailed the edges of her friend’s hair strands in order to soother it back in place as she nodded her head in approval, the ghost of a small smile danced through her reddish lips in response to the other’s own smile, it was exhilarating to be able to witness the other smiling again in the midst of such a storming end of the year. It was her day, after all, and Ara wouldn’t want the other to have to deal with an emotional quake on her birthday.)

      “Honestly, I haven’t even thought about eating before leaving home, I was far too   preoccupied in another crosswords puzzle that I almost lost myself as clock tickled by.”

( — ; Soft chuckle escaped her reddish lips at the childishness in her actions, head being shaken in both amusement and disappointment as to herself in a self-reprehension before she diverted her gaze from the shopping bag within her slender hands towards the younger’s features, a light head shake being the final response to her previous question.)

                   “Your mother surely has a great taste for food recommendation,   I haven’t had seaweed soup in a while, it will fit completely with the weather, and as you      know I can never say no to meat! How is everyone back at your hometown, though?   Of course I will be staying if you’d like me to, dear, you can’t spend the glorious hours of    your birthday on your own, besides I brought this to fit the cake you treated yourself.”

( — ; The ghost of a gentle smile was a soft reassurance of her words as he delicate hands shifted inside the present box in order to retrieve two colorful birthday candles, the letters that composed her name in bright red color as the older waved the package in a playful manner as to display the childish ornament. A teasing grin curled the corners of her reddish lips playful as she muttered lightly her next statement.)

                  “Will you let me in or shall we celebrate your birthday half away between                                                                         snow and warmth?”

[hdxara-blog]

aftermath.

[byulbams]

                                                   [ . . . ]

(— She takes in another deep breath, choking back a sob and just turning her head so that she can nuzzle against her friend’s shoulder. It was all too much, really. She had thought she was ready to have him out of her life, but that night had been a major setback. ) “Can I stay here tonight?” (— The words come out mumbled; she’d have to leave early in the morning because she did have a job she needed to get to, and it wasn’t like she had any change of clothes at Ara’s—but she didn’t want to be alone for the night either. Besides, she was beyond exhausted. ) “Thank you for everything, Ara.”

[hdxara-blog]

                                                “It will be, dear, eventually that is.         But as for now, you need to considerate the implications on telling or not telling him                                             to your and the baby’s life in the future.      I know it seems too much and it is happening all too soon, but sometimes, just because                                 something is easy it doesn’t mean it is the right thing to do.”

( — ; Velvet voice resounded in a soothing tune, delicate hands traveling the entire length of her blonde colored strands gently in a wordless reassurance that the other didn’t had to refrain herself from feeling or saying anything, she could always confess her thoughts to a pillar of strength into the form of a friend. A soft sigh escape her reddish lips, being close to both parts only made her position as a natural hemisphere more controversial, but weeks had passed and she still thought both parents and the baby’s well being should come before anything else in order of importance.)

  “Then, if he chooses to take a part in this children’s life he got himself more month’s time                                                           to accustom himself to the idea. Jonghyun can be a bit self-centered and self-assured, yes, but give both of you some space to                                       familiarize with the entire situation after and if you talk, dear.             You shouldn’t be stressing yourself like this; it is not healthy for you or the baby.”

( — ; The response to the other’s inquire came in the form of a small hum, head being tilted gently so her arms could tightened around the younger’s shoulders to accommodate Yuna in her grip, slender fingertips tangled in between the edges of her blonde strands in order to offer her a quiet comfort.)

                                   “Would you rather to take a long and hot shower, dear?                                      I will have the bed and a warm pajama waiting for you, I think you could use some relaxing time to take a bit of the weight of the world out of your                              shoulders. And you know you don’t need to thank me, it’s what friends do.”

[hdxara-blog]

elysian;

[foelgen-deactivated20150514]

                                                       [ . . . ]

Table for two, and it had been so long since last, his heart lighter in his chest as he allowed to drown in what was every possibilities he had lost. Was this the promised date he had been murmuring about at two o’clock in the night, amidst his studious life in Qingdao?

“The menu—“ he smiled, pressing a kiss against her cheek as he started talking with a slight excitement pressing inside himself, “There’s so much I wanted to prepare, but my kitchen is so small and it would have taken hours, still though I have some treats in the fridge from home. Mother helped with sending it, said that I should not be without it. Currently, though, the things that I am cooking are Wonton soup and roasted squid, so… does sound good?” he gave her a hesitant smile, hand warm in hers.

[hdxara-blog]

Hazel orbs remained closed for a lingering second as the soothing absence of his lips pressuring hers tasted like longing in a sweet temptation for more and more and every sensation he could provide her, the unknown was no longer greeted with the spread of beautiful wings readily for a solo flight for she craved the things that had never been, the complete conjuncture of what ifs that were not entirely hazed by the depths of her subconscious, which had her admitting for the first time, even if to herself only, that being moved by someone else wasn’t as frightening as it used to be once passing him by shouldn’t be an option this time around.

There was a childish curiosity, anxiousness and hope displayed evidently in her irises as she opened her orbs to the sound of his quite voice, a faint smile danced across her reddish lips in a wordless response to his grin as timid was her gaze that still refused to divert from his definite features. Remembrances of their past felt so lively and yet foreign in her mind, as if the scars left by time weren’t fully cicatrized and didn’t ached as much as weeks before colliding against him within the darkness of a closet, time wasn’t the best medicine as people said, and yet, Zitao appeared to be. The peculiar musing had a found smile tease its way pass her lips unwittingly, spreading hues of crimson and coral against her pale skin too gently to be a silent mocking of fate.

“Perhaps, we should make a tradition out of it then.” Slender shoulders were raised in an elegant shrug as her velvet voice carried the suggestion with hesitation in a murmur. “We’re still far away from home and family, after all.” Thumb slid gently against the back of his hand, a soft and affectionate reassurance of stillness, a wordless manner to inform him she would follow his lead and not let go of his hand if it was what he wished for.

                                                                Touché.                              One more way learned to stir her own pulse within his.

Her soft laughter reverberated through the environment despite of her efforts on refraining it, an outburst of both nervousness and joy regarding his words and every gesture so foreign to her own ears that verged bewilderment. “In my defense, I have to argue that it was not an attempt of a ‘goodbye’ but rather a sad, miserable performance of a new version for the terrific classic ‘nightmare before Christmas.’” She rested her head against his arm, a childish reaction to her own statement. “If you’re kind enough to guide me around this kitchen, Zitao, then I’m more than willing to use my creativeness for good to ensure us safety.” The gentle kiss planted on his skin was a silent agreement beyond her words for his suggestion of setting their dining table.

“Yes!” Velvet voice echoed a pitch higher in excitement at his choice of dishes for the evening, nodding her head in an embodiment of her word. The present box still within her hold was nestled against the surface of one of the chairs’ sits before her now free slender hand encircled his waist in a timid response to the small kiss upon her warm skin. “I don’t have Wonton since-…” Hesitation trailed her words as she allowed a soft sigh to escape her lips, carefully choosing the words to complete her sentence.

“Well, since I met you in my last trip to China.” The sweet smile that brightened up her delicate features appeared to be much more honest as she continued with the revelation of a found memory. “It always reminded me a lot of the gyoza Mother used to cook me when I was younger.” Slender fingertips drummed against his skin in a playful but gentle manner as she tilted her head slightly to gaze upon his darker orbs. “It sounds more than delicious, although, I’m indeed curious to experiment all of your cooking and your Mother’s recommendations as well.”

[hdxara-blog]

DEATH BEFORE DECAF | Ara & Stephanie

[hdxstephanie]

                                                            [ . . . ] 

Stephanie weaved through the tables to make her way to the counter, disappearing behind it to enter the staff room. In front of the wall of staff lockers, she dug out her key to unlock her own, reaching into her bag to fish out her phone charger. She bowed apologetically to the co-worker she passed on her way back to where Ara sat.

"Here you go," she said, setting the charger down on the table. Seeing Ara’s empty cup, Stephanie picked it up with the intent of clearing it away. "Do you want another one before I get to work? Or have you got enough caffeine in your system to last you the week?" she said, laughing.

[hdxara-blog]

Nodding her head ever so gently, she attempted to refrain a second wave of upcoming migraines to morph and escalate into a hazardous tsunami, overflowing ache stirred into hazed remembrances of kaleidoscopic lights from the night before was a lot more than what she could afford for. Chocolate strands cascaded down her shoulders in a resonance of her movements, almost canvassing the faint smile that decorated her reddish lips and illuminated her delicate features, a wordless reassurance of concordance before the younger’s words. Twenty-two winters of living should have lectured her in how pathetic it was to suffer earlier than any terrific occurrences.

                                                   Little bird was still so young,            and living too fast as she did only resulted in tired wings and aching bones.

A soft chuckle escaped pass her reddish lips, velvet voice carried by and amusing tone as she rose on eyebrow inquisitively to the younger female, Stephanie could be so clumsy sometimes that it humored the older in a slight remembrance of herself, perhaps, that was the main reason behind why they seemed to had grow closer so rapidly; after all, they were similar in a few aspects.

“Go back to work, dear, before one of your co-workers come fish you by the hair again.” Delicate hand curled around the other’s wrist, a completing effort to soothing the younger out of her anxiety outburst. “It won’t be the first hangover I will face partly by myself, there is no need to be concerned, besides, I will be glued to this chair until it’s time for my classes to start.” She offered the other a faint smile, leaning her back closer against the supporter of the chair she sat.

Hazel orbs diverted from the path the other trailed towards the phone nestled carefully on top of her purse on the edge of the table, thumb brushed softly against the side of the device, only to be greeted with the irritating warning of low battery and the 5% glittering in crimson by the corner of the screen. Istagram was opened regardless, fingertips quickly to tap the screen to complete the letters for the hashtag concerning the party on the night before, because it was never bad to be sure of anything.

“Thank you, dear! I will have us cover as for I cannot bear another headache.” She chuckled softly, shifting her phone towards the other so she could have a clear view of her doings, USB cable being neatly plugged against the outlet. “And honestly, I could never have enough of coffee to last me for so long! For as long as I breathe my answer will always be ‘yes, please.’” Teasing words were pronounced with ease, a clear preference for said beverage obvious in her pitch. “It won’t be a bother, will it, Steph?”

[hdxara-blog]

consonance;

[byulbams]

                                                [ . . . ]

(— She finishes her drink ad gives up all pretense of still enjoying the last bit of cake left on her plate; the question Ara posed to her had made her think, about cravings and such. It was still a little early in her pregnancy, and she hadn’t had any yet—at least, she realises, until the night before, when— ) “Well, admittedly last night..” (— She suddenly laughs, knowing how absurd she’s going to sound. ) “I kind of went out in the middle of the night, went to the nearest store that was still open to get some fudge and dried mangoes….” (— She wrinkles her nose, knowing that the evidence of this, an empty tell-tale pack of dried mangoes, was peeking out of her rubbish bin, while a now half-empty bottle of fudge sat inside her otherwise empty fridge. ) “It was midnight, but I just needed to have it!” )

[hdxara-blog]

                                                         “Fair enough, dear!             Although, if you promise to take care of yourself I will stay faithful to my word             and not surprise you with any presents when I come over on the twenty-fifth,       would lunch be okay? We could always have a Christmas movie marathon afterwards,                              it will be pleasant to watch home alone accompanied.”

(  — ; Head being tilted slightly into a nod motion was a wordless reassurance of her presence in the environment for the upcoming weekend, the ghost of a small smile that danced across her reddish lips were enlarged slightly as it brightened up her delicate features, relief glittered in glimpses of display on her hazel orbs. Ara felt slightly comforted to acknowledge how Yuna was saving her holidays, the bittersweet taste left by loneliness in such epoch being a faint remembrance in the midst of a sip on her hot chocolate.)

                            “Wait, you managed to find dried mangos in this season?                                                     I congratulate you on that, dear!             Every dried fruit in the city seems to only be found in panettone nowadays,                                  if I had know beforehand, I’d had brought you one!”

(  — ; A soft chuckle escape her reddish lips, velvet voice carried a teasing pitch to escort such playful words as she shook her head slightly, it was still very foreign and amusing to be able to accompany a pregnancy from the earlier months in someone so dear close to her heart. Her heart was swoon into an erratic heartbeat at the thought of a dimply little baby to dote on; the musing almost had her reddish lips betraying her as they curled into a larger smile. Ara promised herself to be there for the other as a supporter pillar, as the good friend she deserved to have in such an important moment of her life.)

         “If there is anything I can do or get for you, do not hesitate in inquiring for it, dear!       You’re on your feet the entire day, it is only natural to want to have some rest when you     get home in the evening, and I don’t mind the slightest bit to come make you company or         drop by a food you crave. We’re both living by ourselves now, and although it has the                   greatest benefices, it is lonely from time to time. I’m a call away if anything."

[hdxara-blog]

harmony in D minor;

[sevenisms-deactivated20170604]

                                         [ . . . ]

      « Don’t say like that —singing with you, my dear, is always a pleasure. As much as I may love solos and playing instrumentals, I can’t help but be glad to be enjoying some company from time to time. And don’t worry for the late —it happens. »

And consolation he was delivering, a click of his tongue acting like a pause, lips puckered and brows quirking in a reflective move.

      « Class was okay —I delivered the last terms for the finals to my students, hoping they will follow the instructions and contact my assistant as soon as they will end up having doubts. I know them, and sometimes I’m baffled of how they seem to do the same mistakes no matter how many times I tell them how to do the application form. How about yours, dear? »

[hdxara-blog]

Slender shoulders were raised in an elegant gesture as her posture was straightened into an impeccable parallel towards the instrument, a proper mannerism cultivated years ago, during the auspicious twilight of her life that irradiate coral and amber lights in the form of remembrances whenever her longing fancied nostalgia in the bewitching hour she had fell onto. Time was the cruelest aspect of life, a hellfire that consumed even the memories as the clock ticked by, leaving nothing more than ashes and dusts behind.

Gentle words carried by a deep baritone refrained her musings to trespass the safety zone that segregated healthy, from the hurricane prone area that raged above her subconscious so freely that often managed to fright even the brunette. Oh, poor darling, twenty two winters have you witnessed and the horrid truth still appeared anew? One cannot control everything, not even a pretentious little bird, no, no.

Delicate fingertips were pressed against the cold surface of the polished woodened surface that supported the keys of the piano, a rapid elongation and a moment to convey the accurate sequences of notes before her fingers moved past his, decorating the opposite ending of the piano in order to complement the beautiful melody he crated. The ghost of a small smile danced across her reddish lips unwittingly, music was still a saving grace and a moment in heaven was appreciated when accompanied by one who allocated the same passion.

“Likewise, although I still refrain myself from playing and singing, I do cherish your company.” Velvet voice contained a light pitch, a soft indication of humor in more sentimental words that were still so private, even for the ones dear close to her heart, such as the older male beside her. “You will still have to apologize the fact I will never be able to accompany you properly, regardless of how routinely our encounters are, I really do believe I can’t live up a natural talent as yourself.”

Head was tilted, a wordless reassurance of her undivided attention even when her hazel orbs concentrated their gaze in the contrasting hue of ebony and ivory beautifully played before them, his words caused a soft chuckle to escape through her reddish lips as she shook her head amusingly.

“That is because final period has every single student reacting an apocalypse movie, Seunghyun-ah. I’m positive that in the midst of so many sleepless nights they are sure to forget an information or two, as irritating as it can be, don’t hold it against them.” The younger commented, playfulness reflected in her gentle voice tone as she defended the ones of her kind. “I’ve only become better organized regarding this matter when I became lecturing.” Her confession was muttered in a soft whisper, that although Ara was sure he had heard it, she still preferred to pretend that it was for herself only.

“As for today I had a meeting with my mentor in order to present the first few chapters of my thesis for his analyzes, almost thirty pages for a single compliment and thousand of critics for rewriting.” Teeth sunk deep into the flash of her reddish lips, a soft groan escaping in her distraction. “I honestly don’t know if the situation inquires for my laughter or my tears, and yet, my students managed to brighten up my mood with their own experiences in the end of the semester. I think it will be wise to take them all for dinner whenever the final period is over, don’t you think?”

[gayeongu-deactivated20160402]

GAR & SDH

[gayeongu-deactivated20160402]

                                                   [ . . . ]

"Well, social classes can link to poverty and corruption. Social issues lead to war. Society norms can lead to disorders so you tell me." She commented plainly, her shoulders raised in a shrug that could either say ‘Tell me something I don’t know.’ or ‘Sort of why I hate society sometimes.’. "I don’t even know if this can be considered an issue but hey it can lead to stress right? Boys and romantic relationships?" Dahye inquired, playing along with Ara’s little game of poking her forehead. 

If this night turns into a sleepless one, at least it’s not a stressful one.

[hdxara-blog]

A soft chuckle bubbled in her throat escaped before she managed to press her reddish lips in a refraining tenuous line at the younger’s antics, the mischievous naivety that emanated from the other in waves often reminded the brunette of herself in what felt like an entire life time from where she stood, it made Ara feel warmer regarding the weather or the coldness that accompanied the nostalgia in her memories. At the age of 21, the petite girl had been a lost paradox compelled by the shades of blues that were left within her heart as she replicated what she had been educated with her mother’s death; leave before being left, after all, it was not worth untangle the threads and tenuous webs of lies and half truths that surrounded her heavy heart.

Guidance was something that through provided by another appeared to had been at fault as for her solace regarded comfort better than instruction, perhaps, because Ara had always been the perfect reflection of the older female and the consciousness over the matter made a queen more vain.

          Thus, what is there to criticize in another when one possessed the same traits?

And Dahye was so different from herself, so much more innocent and so much sweeter, something deep inside the brunette’s heavy heart wanted to protect the other’s untainted heart from the darkness that surrounded the world they inhabited, even if well aware of such an impossible wish. A bubble wasn’t the ideal place for a young lady to live within, it took a few bruises and falls to sharpen the edges of one’s personality, fortify their bones against exterior natural disasters.

“You’re very welcome indeed, just remember that studying doesn’t need to consume your entire day, it will end up making you fall ill by the time the evening arrive.” She shook her head, allowing it to fall backwards into the soothing surface of the leather couch; chocolate colored strands cascaded down the quilted supporter gently. “You’re doing nothing more than your obligation, dear! I actually fear for what would happen if you didn’t, perhaps, the sanitation team would have you in quarantine.” Velvet voice teased pass her reddish lips enveloped in playfulness, the corner of her lips being curled into a small grin in a light indication of a joke.

“Human nature is prone to conflicts, darling, almost as if a contradiction of compelled morality and hedonism carried their every gesture, it is indeed a fascinating thing to be studied, though it often reminds me of a chess game.” Ara shrugged her shoulders elegantly, tilting her head to face the younger red-haired with an arched eyebrow. “Oh! Those are surely stressing, boys and relationships sometimes makes us feel as if living a cold war, isn’t it? I’m not sure if I’m the most indicated person to aid you once I don’t exactly fancy romance, but what has been bothering you, dear?”

A mischievous glint decorated her hazel orbs in a wordless promise of physical threatening if any one of those little brats decided to play her dongsaeng, a small joke that perhaps should not be take so slightly. “Perhaps it is easier to start from the beginning? Who is he? And where did you first meet him?”

[hdxjonghyun]

The Day After // Jonghyun & Ara

[hdxjonghyun]

                                                              [ . . . ]

Fetching one of the bowls from the high up shelf, he gathers a spoon and then goes for the milk before pouring the contents of the cereal into his bowl, not even giving his friend eye contact. It was all too much - and despite the girl who was previously here not meaning much to him, still - what does it look like in his case to have his ‘sister’ show up. He’ll have to make a note to not contact her for a while. Digging into the contents of his bowl, he munches loudly on the still crunchy kernels and finally looked up at her. “Did you come for breakfast? Want some?” He asks as he grips the box and shakes the cereal to create noise from within the box. “Or maybe you want to tag along to the gym? I have to go after this” He was just being a brat now - aware that his nonchalant attitude was most likely irking him as he seemed to bypass her scolding.

[hdxara-blog]

Delicate hands pressed rapidly against the bridge of her nose, a harsh massage to refrain the upcoming migraines to incapacitate her nervous system as every word pronounced in such a laodicean manner contributed to boil her raging temper, and yet the mere thought of slapping some sense into the older in the most literal way possible tempted her to the very core, one could say that losing her temper was a sad admission of inadequacy in controlling her thoughts and Ara agreed wholeheartedly. It almost despaired the younger to have her self control evaporating too fast for any water circle, and as he disappeared into the kitchen, she allowed a heavy sigh to escape her lips.

                          She didn’t have enough time for a drizzle let alone an entire hurricane.                           Especially when it meant she should be the one gathering the shattered                                                                glass pieces in the aftermath.

“You’re such a little brat! How come do you still have friends?” Velvet voice pronounced keen words an octave louder than her usual voice tone, face being buried tiredly against the icy cold skin of her palms, a futile and yet hopeful attempt to regain some control over the situation. “The correct question is why am I still your friend! I bet that your door would follow my advices and listen to my words more attentively.” Complaints were carried away in the echoes of a hiss, it didn’t reassured the fact of not acknowledging her own words as directed to herself or the other at this point of the morning. It was a way too earlier for the entire mayhem.

Hazel orbs diverted her gaze towards the foolish older male standing across the room from herself, an eyebrow was slowly arched in disbelief as her eyes dilated at the childish manner his cheeks would expand to accommodate his cereal in such a ridiculous manner, it reminded her too much of a little puppy who didn’t quite got what he wanted or a young boy being scolded for not being allowed to have cookies before dinner. And regardless of how her lips were pressed into a tenuous line, a chuckle escaped it softly as she shook her head in a disapproving manner, who was the older one in their relationship once again?

“You’re such a ridiculous wispy little brat, Jonghyun!” She cried, gentle steps took her towards the kitchen as both her index and middle fingertips were pressed against his forehead, a common gesture to act upon a little kid. “I don’t want you to end up with a broken heart, someone needs to be concerned about either or not you have a conscience to hunt you afterwards.” Ara shook her head slightly, delicate hands circling his bowl in an attempt to abduct it as she took a sit across from the older male.

“And to proper respond your pointless ramble, no, I didn’t have breakfast yet and my original goal was indeed to have breakfast with you.” The brunette shrugged her shoulders elegantly to the resounding of her own words. “You have been pestering me for weeks to have a proper meal together anyways.”Her voice was lightening slightly in pitch, a soft indication of a teasing past her still irritated voice tone. “You don’t happen to have any coffee here, do you? I still find it a necessity to have at least two cups before following anyone, anywhere.”

[hdxara-blog]

aftermath.

[byulbams]

                                                   [ . . .]

“What am I going to do…?” (— Sighs and looks up at the ceiling, trying not to let tears fall out; she’s been really emotional recently as well, and she keeps trying to hold back the stupid tears—she was never such a crybaby before. ) “I know I said before that I’ll keep it from him—do you think?” (— She looks at her friend, hoping to find some clarity in Ara’s face. ) “You never agreed I should, did you? I mean you never really said anything…” (— Sighs once more as she trails off. ) “Why am I so hung up on him? I knew it was no big deal the entire time we were… hooking up.” (— She can’t even say it without feeling like filth now, when all along before she played it cool, no big deal—he was attracted to her, and she the same towards him. No complications—at least until one test flipped it all inside-out, upside-down. ) “I don’t even know what I want from him! I think that’s part of why I’m so unsure about telling him—that and I’m scared about what he’ll say. Do I want him in my life for this? It’s so confusing…!” (— Groans and shakes her head. ) “What was I thinking, just jumping into bed with him again like that!”

[hdxara-blog]

( —  ; Delicate fingertips trailed the entire length of the blonde colored strands that cascaded down her shoulders in waves in an affectionate manner, a soothing and comforting gesture so foreign displayed by the stoic brunette, however it appeared to her that the other would fall shattered into a million of pieces if she didn’t offered her a pillar of support and understanding. Perhaps it was her overprotective nature regarding the ones dear close to her heart, perhaps; she should blame it on her tenderness, after all.)

                           “I’ve felt like that my entire life, and mistakes are part of it, dear. Don’t blame your distress on wrong choices, you cannot change what has been and done.”

( —  ; Velvet voice was murmured in a lighter pitch, a soft reassurance of such words in both tune and syntax, slender shoulders were shrugged elegantly as the petite girl stirred in the couch as a silent invitation for the other to rely on her, through further hugs if necessary, in order to steady her emotional balance out of the hurricane prone zone she was in. As much as the older wanted to press her hands to her friend’s shoulder in order to share a bit of the burden carried by them, she was well aware it was an impossible wish, although it didn’t made her feel any less frustrated in not being able to do anything more to aid the younger.)

                                                           "What do you want to do, Yuna-yah?                                  Honestly, my opinion isn’t much of an important matter right now.                                   Do what feels right for you and the baby, but if you wish to know,                                   I do think he has the right to be aware of your situation, after all,                    the baby will need a father and as much as I think you’ll be a great mother,                                                   you can’t avoid him for the rest of your life.                                              But at the end of the day, is your choice to make."

( —  ; The ghost of a small smile danced across her reddish lips as she diverted her gaze to meet Yuna’s darker orbs, companionship rather than sympathy were evident in her hazel orbs, as for she wanted the other to be completely positive of her intentions of sticking by her side, like a best friend and a caring unnie. Shaking her head slightly at the younger’s statement; Ara gently tapped her shoulder in an attempt to reasoning the other.)

                                          "I’m completely positive I might not be the correct person                                            to offer you an advice on this matter, dear,                                            but there is always something involving the lovers                                            that still hold their place even when we leave them."

( —  ; The comment slid her reddish lips carrying the taste of bitterness drowned in long forgotten memories within, she should know better than anyone else how one could be attached to someone to the point of searching for shadows of him in every person she met, though Ara had never been able to convey her own feelings into words or comprehend them, she hoped Yuna would be the lucky one out of their duo.)

                 "Just because you tell him the truth, it doesn’t mean you two need to be an item,                you two could play parental roles into the baby’s life without being an actual couple.                           It is truth he will be always an important part of your life by association,                                                              but there are things that cannot be helped."

[k-stars]

[hdxara-blog]

elysian;

[foelgen-deactivated20150514]

                                                          [ . . . ]

To her, standing there with sunsets brushing across her cheeks, in hues of blooming cherry trees. He wondered, briefly, as her lips moved in a stutter of words—if she had been lonely too. His fingers trembled, his neck felt warm with a rising blush pressing into his cheeks, hidden away inside the dusk that were him. With light laughter, a hand opening the door slightly more ajar, he spoke out to her, “You are allowed to join me, if you want to. I have set food on the oven and would love the company of you.”

He allowed her inside, ushered her in with his hand on the small of her back, closing the door behind them. Because two were always better than one, he knew that much, and because Ara was better than none on a day such as this. With his hand sliding off, he tentatively looked up at the innocence that hung there in the ceiling of the entryway, lips bowing into smiles as a quiet voice came out to say—“Oh, look—a mistletoe.” He allowed himself to drag into her world, into their shared world of intoxication and silent communication.

[hdxara-blog]

Hazel orbs greeted his darker ones with the aftermath of a gentle glittering of contentedness stirred in the midst of a timid anxiousness, her gaze felt lively in a certain way that had been previously long forgotten in the depths of her subconscious, a rare sight that accompanied every single pleasant aspect of their relationship. Fingertips felt the resonances of the temperature dropping in such a especial winter night as they became just as icy as the snow that decorated the streets of Hongdae, or at least it was what she made herself believe, because the slight trembles that toured her spine and spread rapidly through her veins denounced the irrevocable truth;

Her presence there, at his apartment for the first time in what felt like a lifelong, seemed exactly like a first date and something deep inside of her made it a goal to make his night more enjoyable than the days they spent together.

“I’d love to accompany you for the night; no one should be spending Christmas having a shadow as a company.” Reddish lips curved into a small smile, brightening up her delicate features in the echoes of her warm words as she allowed the older to lead their way through the entrance of the apartment, warmth compelled by the familiarity of his touch. “How Grinch stole Christmas would seem a lot more bitter that way.” Velvet voice was carried by a light pitch, a gentle indication of a joke as her preoccupied fingertips drummed against the present box in their hold.

Curiosity glittered evidently in her irises, although the entire apartment complex had the same standard architecture for the studio apartment, it was exhilarating and pleasing to learn how much of Zitao’s personality reflected in the decoration of the environment, charming and sophisticated, if she had to carefully choose specific words to characterize it. Quiet voice claimed Ara’s undivided attention away from her musings as for her gaze trailed after his momentarily in an instinctively gesture, delicate eyebrow being arched amusingly at the almost strategic placement of the Christmas ornament.

“Oh! I guess you can never disregard a tradition, don’t you think?” Playfulness teased her voice tone, accompanied by a timid soft laugh that up to this very day was still such a rare sight as her slender arms gently circled his neck, head being buried onto his board shoulder for a glimpse of a second in order to stead her balance. Ara raised her frame to the very tip of her toes; high heels aided the petite girl slightly in decreasing their height difference.

Reddish lips caressed his lightly, a chaste gesture slowly pressed into a sweet kiss that diverged completely from the bruises of longing and desire she had trailed against his lips weeks previously in such a passionate manner, delicate hands tangled in between his raven colored strands as she deepened the kiss gradually and almost amorously. She had almost forgotten how his warmth emanated in waves, and how much she craved the saving grace assured by the feeling of his arms surrounding her.

                            It was okay to allow someone else to melt the fortress                             she constructed to guard her heavy heart.                             And even if only for today, she’d secretively                             press onto his lips every word she had meant to pronounce,                             but hesitation and pride had refrained her from doing so.

Nibbling his bottom lip playfully, she pulled away briefly, only to untangle the older from her hold before a delicate hand slid in between his bigger one, intertwining their fingers tightly, a timid reassurance from a little bird who was too accustomed in relying solemnly on words in the form of a simple gesture.

“Do you need my aid with anything, Zitao? I might not be close to becoming a master chief, but I think I could behave in the kitchen if supervised?” A soft chuckle echoed at the realization her statement resounded a lot more similar to an inquire than a comment. “I’m curious as for what are we having for the menu tonight, the smell is indeed delicious!”

[hdxjonghyun]

The Day After // Jonghyun & Ara

[hdxjonghyun]

                                                  [ . . . ]

When she mentions his age though, his shoulders narrow, her intentions not really clear and doing nothing but confusing the tall fit male. “Okay im sorry - fill me in on why this is so wrong again? Im not forcing these girls into anything - nor am I lying to them about love and relaitonships. These girls are hooking up with me just as I am with them. They probably have other guys out there as well! Chill out - ” And again his brows raise; unaware of her true intentions of being upset. “Im not hurting anyone- “

[hdxara-blog]

Hazel orbs narrowed dangerously at the taller male, an unpropitious promise of terror if the rushed false story carried by her velvet voice wasn’t continued accordingly, it was the least Jonghyun could to after her attempt of disentangling him from the cobweb of lies and half truths he had intertwined on his own. Reddish lips parted slightly with purpose to address verbally an emphasis on her intimidation, however, words seized bottled in the depths of her throat before his reception of the situation. It was implausible, almost to the point o bewilderment how much of a tactless person the older male was.

Delicate hands toured the entire length of her chocolate colored strands in a futile expectation of smooth her ragging temper into the collect façade Ara displayed daily towards the strangers that crossed her path, the icy cold expression that combined perfectly with the pale complex of her porcelain skin and the acumen of her hazel orbs. And yet, every single one of her attempts appeared to drown in a ten-foot deep ocean of gasoline that sustained further her wildfire of a personality.

“How is it that you don’t see what is wrong in this picture, Jonghyun?” She hissed, reddish lips being pressed together into a thin line of disappointment and disregard as she shook her head. “You don’t know a thing about love and yet, you’re perfectly fine in that way!” The rhetorical exclamation was a soft enlightenment of a response to his question, a subtle impeachment worded as gently as her discredit permitted, a bittersweet concern towards a fraternal figure in her life.

Ara was glad it was her that entered his apartment that morning, once after the occurrences unfolded in the place in the glorious hours of the night resulted in a very shattered blonde to invade her apartment, her friend didn’t need to affront the aftermath of their situation once any more stress would be harmful for the baby.

                                                      Inhale, Exhale, repeat.

It was an automatic motion to refrain such precious piece of information to escape her lips in a poisonous voice tone, perhaps, if the other was aware of the truth that surrounded her friend, his behavior could be altered slightly for the better. It was once again what ifs and could had beens that she didn’t had the power to deem them real, as frustrating as it was to herself. Friendship came with boundaries that as close as they were to her heart, as hard it was to trespass in the name of loyalty.

“Don’t apologize for something you’re not even regretful of, it’s ridiculous.” Words were accompanied by a soft grunt as she rolled her eyes towards his words, it was not his fault – at least not entirely – for being as clueless as the next door in the room, but it still irritated her to the fullest to hear his half-hearted responses. “Affectionate love isn’t always necessary; you know I agree with you wholeheartedly, but just because it’s easier, it doesn’t mean it’s right!” Slender hands came to rest against the curve of her hips, an authoritarian composure overflowing from her delicate frame as she scoffed slightly at his comment. “That is what you made yourself believe, however, you’re completely clueless as for how many hearts you’re harming regarding this stupid game of yours.” Sharpness displayed in glimpses on her hazel irises as Ara shook her head slightly.

[hdxara-blog]

melomania;

[xljoexc-deactivated20160108]

                                                 [ . . . ]

The more he thought about it, the more it came down to him, the more wary he got while strumming and plucking at the guitar’s strings so maybe her words did it for him. A correct answer was all it took for him to stop and then breathe, a second later. And he shook his head then “Relieved.” He caught himself saying, nose sniffling once as he feels the slight breeze from before a little more cold, the air rubbing at his cheeks to make them a little pink. So he pulled his scarf a little, trying to hide half of his face in it and lifted his eyes to look at the girl once more. “So… I gave you an easy song and you got it. I think it’s a tie, right?” Leave it to him to get his reasoning all twisted up, of course “What do we do now?”

[hdxara-blog]

An eyebrow was arched inquisitively at his words in both amusement and confusion as for the meaning behind such statement, reddish lips were pressed firmly in a soft line in order to refrain any upcoming offspring of a laugh to escape once again, and it wasn’t polite to allow her amusement to display so freely, considering it might be erroneously labeled as a mocking rather than a genuine gesture. Head bowed slightly in a wordless demonstration of gratitude, the guitarist standing beside her was indeed a very peculiar person, interesting regardless.

“How is chess complicated, Joey?” She shook her head slightly in a disapproving manner as her fingertips drummed against the box of cookies in their hold harmoniously. “Every game is exactly a variation of the same thing! Aggressive opening, patience and an eventual check mate, there isn’t a big variety of possibilities, though the moves might alter.” Slender shoulders were shrugged elegantly in order to reaffirm her statement. “I could teach you how to play if you’re interested, it is no big deal.”

Head was tilted slightly in contemplating of his words, although Ara had indeed watched one or two episodes of variety shows known for the presence of many idols in the guest list, they never had her undivided attention as for only their music and sometimes their performances stroke her fancy every now and again.

“I shall take your word for it; I’m not quite familiar with the idol scene, the music perhaps, whenever it is catchy, but not the idols alone.” Velvet voice was enveloped in a playful bashfulness regarding her own statement, head nodding as to reassure her agreement before his words. “I think mostly of the music scene in general is not dependable, lucky plays a great role in success as well.”

Lucky was what she had been at the age of seventeen, velvet voice echoing silkily in upraising volume accompanied by the roar of guitars, the echoes of the drums and the rhythm of a bass in front of soundly crowd. The beginning of a caged dream too high for even a pretentious mockingbird as herself to follow blindly, a pathway she did not dared to trail again, neither alone or accompanied.

“My apologizes, guitar man, however your name is not that easily turned into an acronym of some sort.” A chuckled escaped her reddish lips despite of her efforts, nostalgia drowned her heart into a ten-foot deep ocean of long forgotten feelings, the same words had left her lips years before, during the formation of her former band. Hinara, though her real name, was disregarded and disliked by the petite girl since a very young age and not quite suitable for a musician.

                     Therefore, she named herself Ara, after a constellation, a star in which its light of sixth degree magnitude could be seen proudly in a clear night sky.

“I hardly think of it as a tie, though, is more like I won because you’re a gentleman.” The ghost of a smile graced her reddish lips as her delicate fingertips pried the box of cookie free from the hello kitty ribbon that surrounded it, scooping one in her palm before offering him it. “It’s my way to thank you for the song; it was indeed a lovely performance.” Head nodded softly in agreement to her words as she tilted it to the left, a wordless invitation hidden in such a simple gesture. “Now, we could go get you some coffee before you freeze at this street! My treat as the-… How older are you, anyways?” Ara inquired softly, being always the younger in her group of friends, it was only a natural inquire.