RANKING: Die Mannschaft (WM14) by Someone Who Doesn’t Know Anything About Foosball
the rankings will be from… on a scale from 1 to 10. i cannot tell you what kind of scale it is, it just is a scale,,, of uuuuhhhhhhh Fußball
(i found them boys who be playing on this list)
the legitimate number 1 (literally), absolute tall ass icon, legendary Torboy, king of coca cola and head and shoulders adverts, inventor of bavaria. he is probably also what the world things a german looks like, generally. i must give the man who played all WM games by HIMSELF (torwart goals count double)…… a good and good 10/10, legendary meme icon father
no idea….whom the fuck this is? the only thing i did google was that list (linked above) and thats all i do be knew………….it LOOKS LIKE hes a Towart and also very very old for a Footballer (its not soccer). so, frankly, the only real goalie in my heart and shoulders is Manu, so….i can only give this Anonymous Man a…. like, a 2/10.,,
his fucking name oh my giodhgohiaheig…….another goalie….how many does 1 Die Mannschaft need???? 3 apparently, i think hes the last one. again….. WHOM is this GUY. fucking… Ron-Robert, my GOD. nerd ass name imma give him 1/10
I KNOW HIM,,,,, finally,,, another one. i vaguely remember an AfD asshole saying something about he wouldnt want him as his neighbour (?) and GOD … FUCK the AfD,,. on my handy dandy list it says Boateng is defense and….good on him, someone needs to be defending…. the Ball. 8/10
another “whomst” for me but i feel like…. i heard his name somewhere….anyway….Durm? Durmstrang? thats the only connection i can make, 3/10
whom…. the FUCK. Matze?????? 1/10
“damit bleibstu die komplette halbzeit mit cool” another legendary advert icon…. made relevant by german comedy Blödelduo Joko&Klaas and thus, proud owner of an Umberto Award,,, for this i must give him a wholesome 8/10
is ist just me or does this man look like hes from the north?? maybe its the last name lmaoooo anyway….. uuhhh….. i do not have strong feelings about this feller. a plain… plain ol guy. hes so plain hes probably from NRW, 4/10
now THAT is a guy ive heard of!!!!!! his name is, frankly, funny and iconic. Mats???? very northern. Hummels????? love me some bumblebees. his gf has also proven that she cant dance in germanys version of Strictly Come Dancing called Let’s Dance. im also ngl hes kinda cute…….. and looks, esp with his hair and beard, like 3 other guys i know. 8.5/10
HE!!!!!!! he was the captain right?????? the foosball leader?????? what a tiny boy. small child. shorty. shawty. when the Die Mannschafter are standing in a line next to each other (during the national anthem) and the camera glides over their heads its always TALL TALL TALL TALL tiny ass philipp lahm TALL TALL TALL, makes for….comedic fodder for a century…its a classic, 9/10 for this banter
isnt this man also a tallest man? one of the tallest lads? i think he is? also, according to his name, another nordy boy. i love when you can TELL where someones from (within germany) just by their name. nobody would read “Per Mertesacker” and assume this man is from Munich. 5/10
yes i know this guy too…. god…i feel like…. i need to throw a Gut Kick in die Runde at this point…. Fußballstudio here i come…. i know my ish, i know my footsies…. i will give this man….. 7/10 bc uuuhhhhhh
im ngl. im already exhausted. i thought this was gonna be like 11 boys but here we are at nr 13, only like HALFWAY through…….. this is the tough work my mama warned me about. anyway and furthermore….. Julian is a Boy name. sounds very young. i had a julian in my class in my time, did not care about him. 3/10
he shoot the last goal didnt he!!!! the winning goal!!!! icon!!!! also my classmates, when they were talking about Fooseball (in public??!!!) called him “pummelig” (chubby) which…….Whom is out there playing for the National Die Mannschaft and whom is NOT, Jonas Fabian????? GOD. 10/10
im….im losing content and things to say about these guys…..they be playing ball. with their feet. they get more money than they will ever need. and all of them are either midfielders or defenders, which is boring. everybody should be striker, now THAT would be interesting…anyway… 7/10
wh…who…whose……….????????? what a mystery, 0/10
another one from the north????? its only… theyre only either Bavarian or Northern, arent they…. also Toni Kroos reminds me of Toni Garn (?) which is a model i believe? im educated on all fronts………..fucking hell uh…uhm…. der toni, jaja… Kroose Krabbe… i dont know….. 5.5/10
get you a man with the most common german name of all time, who is also bavarian and a footballer. this man just might be the most german guy on this very earth…..i also thought hes a striker but the list says hes a midfielder so i dont……. i wouldnt….. 4/10
Özil!!!!!! this man has the power to see!!!! because he….. his eyes…..oahgiehrgiagh there was a Meme where people compared him to Finding Nemo and aighiawgh he reacted really sweetly and im……i did cry (i didnt) 10/10
LU LU LU LUKAS PODOLSKI EYOOOOO Poldi x Schweini bffs Forever xDD :PPp just kidding but its been like that hasnt it. now theyre selling Chips together. uhhhhh yeah. yeah. hes iconic id say, 9/10
this is a blond man. thts the only trait i know. his name sounds like he should be from the south west? which, i am too, so, i gotta give him a…. a 8/10
22) Bastian Schweinsteiger
i will say this. Poldi und Schweini are…..theyre not…listen. theyre not goodlooking but they have STANS out here, even in my very much not Footballfriendly group of people i know. Schweini is a silver fox now, apparently, which makes him even more desirable (this man has been selling me Funny Frisch Chips for the past decade now and ive HAD it).
Poldi and Schweini are an iconic twosome though, so, i gotta give Bastian a 9/10 as well, i suppose,
him!!!! Rihanna stans him, which makes him automatically cooler than he probably deserves…. he is also the oldest footballer alive, i think? and the only striker listed!!!!!!! ledge, 10/10
JOOOOGIII WIR WISSEN WO DEIN AUTO STEEEHHHTTT legend. fashion icon. hair goals. dialect and accent goals. my southern belle….. jooo, des schaffma jogiii! 100/10 ufbasse jetz!!!!
dededos
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
2087
snowghoul
stormborns
