Fai_Ryy
noise dept.
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The Bright Sessions
tannertan36
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Color Me Curious
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bliss lane
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Jimmy Eat World
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@theartofmadeline
#extradirty
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
Today's Document
if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver
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@headhighheartopen-blog
It's kinda hard to be too mad at life when,
you just overdosed about 5 days ago. I could've killed myself, I could've been under the ground, I could've afflicted everyone who loves me with pain, I could've been a vegetable, I could've been gone... But I'm still here. Still here, tryna live. Things do feel different, in a bright way, after a near-death experience. I still cry every night but at least I know I'm alive and I can still be with the ones I love.
Shit, I'm turning 23 next month.
what the fuck. Should I get fucked up?
I don't think I wanna be well. I think I just wanna be on drugs. At least until I lose my mind and finally end myself.
I've been missing days, idk where this week went. I've been smoking weed, playing video games and roaming the this area at night. I wake up pissed off almost everyday with my body aching in different ways. I'm not sick, I just saw my doctor a few days ago. It's just me. I'm not happy. Like no matter what I do, I hate myself. I can't stand being inside this shitty body, controlled by this stupid brain. I don't even know what to believe. My mind tells me that I'm worthless and everyone hates me. I guess it makes sense. I'm not doing shit with my life, worthless. Second part is just in my head, I know it, but my mind keeps grabbing pieces of reality and creating this weird false reality that I can't help but believe. Eh, I need drugs.
Deep down, im a bitter old man. Everything is stupid and pisses me off.
Zhoop voop doop. Sook ma fookin cook
I just wanna roll over the top of a hill, and explode into many bloody pieces
"Your problems are so small compared to mine."
Hearing that sentence, over and over, and in different wording, is exactly why I don't give a fuck about anyone's problems anymore.
ive been isolating myself again. Pretty sure it's because I'm off Etiz. Who woulda thunk'd (ew, what an ugly fake-word) my life is better with drugs. If I had money... =,= I'm not entirely sure if my life is crashing and burning or if it's just all in my head. Eh, who am I kiddin. I'm all fucked up rn.
Just hit lv23. I'm definitely falling behind, in levels. When the game first started, I got to lv20 in like 3 days I believe. The main way to get XP was to sit at lures and evolve with a lucky egg on. It was hella boring to me tbh. I love to hunt down pkmn, finish up my pokedex and gym fights. I gave up a while ago cuz I was burnt out, but I wanna go back and become a master
So.. It's been an eventful past few days in my Mobile Strike state. Besides my personal goals, there's finally a cease fire on tile hits.. WE CAN FINALLY FARM IN PEACE
Yawwwnnnn.. --,o/
First day without Etizolam. Good job me on tapering down to less than a pill a day before going cold turkey. I don't think my withdrawals are gonna be bad, but still, the reason I was using to get over my anxiety and get out of the house. That's still gonna be a struggle, especially being out here in Cali. My life isn't really intertwined with anyone here, I don't really have motivation to leave the house most days. But anyways, I gotta get the Etiz out of my system. I'm getting poor. Once I get money I'm going back on it tbh.
Yaaaaayyyyy!
I gots me some cocaine
I feel like I should look at everything positively right now,
but it's kinda hard. Idk. wtf, fuck. I feel like so much shit. Fuck man, my mind and body are super fuckin stunned rn. But, you know what dude? Idk.. I just wanna murder someone right now. It feels like a switch turned on inside me, idk.. I have bad scatter brain rn.
Living in Cali sucks ass.
I got fired on National Best Friend day
But I don't have a friend to hang out with. So I guess I'll cry to myself until I can get my hands on some good drugs.
Sigh,
I forgot anti-anxiety withdrawals include insomnia. I think I gotta kick this habit before it gets worse. 2 days free before work, we have recovery time.