He paused, thinking about his answer.
... There's no point lying.
"You... uh... said something about Gorotama players being- being mean, so... you... wanted to make them not want to play with- with a leech."
"I- ... I mean I- ... don't really blame you for- for that, but..."
He held his tongue a little. Just speaking these words made his tama start to act up again. He could manage for now, but... not for long.
"... okay f- first of all, ... that- one that got Falco, I..." He struggled to get the words out. Remembering it felt... wrong. "I saw it; he... he started attacking people, and- ... a... a lot of people got hurt."
He explained. He was shaking much more than he was at all aware of, and wasn't even looking at any of them.
... This was the first time he was properly talking to anyone about it. And to Ri, of all people. Of course others were there, but...
"... it... it was really bad."
His voice cracked at the memory. But he shook it off, and tried to sit up tall once more.
"and- ... and yeah, I- ... I know a lot of Gorotama players are- ... mean, and- that... 'evil toxic part of Gorotama' is... uh... w- well on display, but..."
He was trying so hard to be brave. Like he should have been when he was here last.
"... not... not all of them are like that. Have... have you met any of the Knights?" He asked, sounding quite genuine. "I- I met Milo the other day- M- Milo Stonegarden. And..."
"He- ... He wanted to include ME in- in some practice games! Like- ... w- without tamas, with... a loser like me."
His voice quaked, and tears were forming at the edges of his eyes.
"... the... the problem isn't Gorotama. I- ... I don't know what it is, but..."
"I- I don't know, what am I saying?"
He said, the memories of that fateful night replaying over.