^-^

[guerrillatech]

[theconcealedweapon]

An autistic child in their natural state will most likely be bullied on a regular basis.

They often have to actively suppress anything that makes them stand out.

Some are able to succeed at this, and people stop bullying them.

But they're then invisible. They still have no friends. They still miss out on any experiences that require friends.

When they ask how to make friends, everyone assumes that they're not even trying. Everyone assumes that they're doing nothing even though they're burning themself out just to be invisible. They're told "talk to people" or "just be yourself".

But that's what they were bullied for. They never had a chance to learn how to "talk to people" or what "just be yourself" even means.

So then, every once in a while, they take a wild guess at how to interact with others. And they get bullied again.

Then they stop doing the wild guess that caused them to be bullied. And they're back to being invisible.

[healianthuss]

Trauma responses making vulnerability weird who could've guessed

[my-heads-gonna-explode]

The moment I hear someone accuse a disabled person of faking it, I lose all respect I previously had for them. I have absolutely zero tolerance for fakeclaimers.

People have passed out on buses after being denied seats, because people thought they were faking it. People in excruciating pain have been turned away from hospitals, because people thought they were faking it. People have been publicly shamed both online and in person for their disabilities, because people thought they were faking it. People have lost their jobs after being denied accomodations, because people thought they were faking it. And I'm partially talking from my own personal experiences. I've been yelled at for having meltdowns at school after being told I wasn't allowed to wear ear plugs, because people thought I was faking it. These aren't hypothetical situations. Lots and lots of real disabled people have suffered for the entertainment of fakeclaimers.

The harm from fakeclaiming real disabled people is much, much worse than the harm from taking the few fakers there are seriously. I would rather help a hundred disabled people when one person among them is actually faking it than fakeclaim a hundred fakers when one person among them is actually disabled.

Yes, there are people who fake disabilities, and yes, that's awful and harmful. But accusing people of faking it has never done anything good for anyone, while it has harmed a lot of disabled people who needed support but were ridiculed instead. There is no net positive to fakeclaiming. All it does is serve to stigmatize, mock, and encourage the neglect of disabled people. It's sickening.

I mean this all the time. Even if they do something you assumed they shouldn't be able to do (part-time AAC users, ambulatory wheelchair users, and other people whose disabilities aren't constantly visible exist). Even if you think their accommodations are excessive or unnecessary. Even if you think they have "too many" conditions. Even if it's DID or schizophrenia or any other disability that you're uncomfy acknowledging. Even if they have dyed hair or neopronouns or anything else you've decided is "attention-seeking behavior."

The moment I hear the phrase, "they're probably faking it," leave your lips, I know not to trust you. Because you want disabled people to earn their rights, their support, their ability to live, by first meeting your arbitrary standards for what disabled people must look like.

[healianthuss]

I can't believe assuming disability being correct isn't the norm. You can hold that belief and still be a massive hater. Disabled people can be assholes who you don't like and in theory abuse their accommodations but I know I'm the last person in the world qualified to police said accommodations so I keep those thoughts to myself because I'm not an expert in disability. Disabled people are such a big minority group, you can be friends with some and enemies with others while still holding values about disability. We ain't a monolith.

[autisticspider-girl]

The RFK Jr eugenics thing is like…possibly the worst “I told you so,” feeling I’ve ever had.

I and so many in the autistic community have been advocating for years—like, a decade in my case, and even longer for others—that anti vax rhetoric is tied to eugenics and it’s not enough to say, “vaccines don’t cause autism,” we also have to be saying, “and also autistic people aren’t worse than a deadly pandemic, we shouldn’t be trying to eradicate it.”

Conspiracy theories combined with fear mongering about autism has hurt and even killed autistic kids through fad “autism cures,” adopted by terrified parents (see: chelation therapy in the 2000s). Anti vax ideology is inherently eugenic, and we need to address that part of it, not just the scientific misinformation aspect.

But no, I have almost never seen anyone outside the autistic community going beyond, “vaccines don’t cause autism,” when combatting anti-vax rhetoric. Especially not mainstream media.

And dammit I don’t want to be like “we told you so,” but also. We did. We said it over and over again. I didn’t think it’d come to a head like this, but I knew it was an issue.

And I don’t know how far RFK is going to take this or how many people will be hurt by it, but the fact that he has this kind of power at all, that we are left worrying, is bad.

To autistic and neurodivergent friends: please don’t feel hopeless or helpless. Yes it’s scary. Yes, it’s not good. But the fight isn’t over yet and it is possible to prevent the worst of this. It is. We don’t know how this will play out yet. We are not too far down the road for things to change. Please try not to fall down a doomsday hole of worst case scenarios. Turn off social media or the news if you have to for a bit. You are a valuable human being, and you deserve self care.

[theconcealedweapon]

[healianthuss]

Rude (look I stole ur word nts) I'm going back to my home planet

[starplatinumnun]

can you infodump to me? (i love you) is this overwhelming? (i love you) is this the right texture? (i love you) is it ok to touch you? (i love you) do you want the subtitles on? (i love you) do you want to go somewhere less noisy? (i love you)

[healianthuss]

Ahh I think I exude this type of love. I hope one day it's understood.

[theconcealedweapon]

You're a child. You express frustration. Not at anyone, not in a way that hurts anyone, but just in a way that makes it known that you're frustrated.

An adult gives you unsolicited advice that you either don't understand or have already tried many times.

What should you do?

If you don't respond, you get punished for ignoring.

If you respond and continue to show frustration, you get punished for raising your voice.

So you know that you must respond and you must fully calm down before you do. You also must phrase it perfectly, making sure it's accurate and has nothing that can be misinterpreted or taken as disrespect. You have to make sure you explain how inaccurate they are while being absolutely certain that you don't make them feel bad. And since you're already being misunderstood as shown by the advice they gave you, you have to put extra effort into making sure you explain clearly.

Oops, too late. In the process of trying to figure out how to do that long list of steps all at once, you took longer than the allowed 4 seconds, and the adult assumed that you're ignoring them. You're now being punished for ignoring them.

And you can't defend yourself against the punishment, because anything you say can be interpreted as "arguing". Since you were already struggling to keep up before, and you're now forced to think even faster, there's nothing you can possibly say to stop this adult from punishing you, and anything you say could just make it worse. So you just accept the punishment.

Then, realizing that punishment is going to be an inevitable fact of life for you, you decide to become a terrorist and just piss off adults as much as you can.

[healianthuss]

Aha

[theconcealedweapon]

Autistic people often struggle to follow rules without understanding the specifics of the rules or why the rules exist.

And neurotypical people often refuse to explain that. Ableism is part of the reason why, but it's also because authoritarianism relies on people not understanding the rules.

If every child was raised to understand the deep meaning of every rule and why the rule exists, then authoritarianism wouldn't stand a chance. Every child would know not only exactly how they're being abused but also they'd be able to perfectly explain why it's abusive.

Authoritarians want people to be clueless about why rules exist. They want to be allowed to do things while punishing others for doing the same thing. They never give a good reason because there isn't a good reason to give.

[healianthuss]

Whoops the government and autistic caretakers are fighting over the copyright of the blueprints! What ever shall we do? It's almost like it only takes two people to make a religion aka a cult.

[autistic-af]

Autistics often have decreased autobiographical memory.

Autobiographical memory is an individual's personal history. Things such as where you went to school, how old you were when you learnt to ride a bike, what year you graduated etc.

Autistics have more difficulty recalling these memories at all, have fewer of these memories, or find that there are disjointed episodic memories (memories of the event occurring) but bad semantic memory (the ability to store and retrieve the memories).

This can lead to a difference in how we socially share our own history and narratives and our own social identity. Autobiographical memory is important in letting an individual understand their own experiences, social ties and place in a group.

Memories may take on a third person view rather than a first person view.

This may also lead to difficulties in being able to recall any specific emotions to the events that have occurred.

[healianthuss]

CPSTD

A generalization but one I say with a lot of confidence

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

btw there statistic word for things like “research that only use autistics who lower support needs, verbal, without intellectual disability, english speaking, white / white dominant, cis boys or men, who can independently(!!) be part of (eg interview based) research that directly ask autistic people… n then draw conclusion say results represent all autistic people”

n it called extrapolation (take pattern you already have info for n then estimate/guess by go beyond what your info have) n it can be (for not have better word) dangerous n really shouldng do or at least need be very careful doing, because you assuming the same pattern keep going for the things you not measure info on, but it very much possible pattern not keep going and your estimate/guess wrong. (or this my best try on plain language, if someone have sth better)

it sound like have just listed like such hyper specific group of autistic ppl like look at how long the adjective modifiers be! but in fact this be majority of autism research

yes most likely even your [insert newest research that interview real autistic ppl that exploding in online autistic community for be affirming n thus truth]

it not mean research completely shouldn’t be used (results can still very much say bigger pattern abt group of ppl you use in your research). just that. caution. nuance.

read the methods section!!!!!!!!

[healianthuss]

Everyone needs to take a statistics class. If you don't want to fall to propaganda you need to be fluent in basic stats.

[autistic-af]

When I was a child, many of my sensory issues were used as the butt of jokes by my family. I had many phobias due to these issues, but they were laughed off as they were seen as "extreme" or over the top.

Examples would be I was terrified of pinecones as young as 3 because I thought they were visually disturbing and dangerous. So, at the age of 4/5, we were in a park and I handed my mum my jacket so I could use the public loo. She proceeded to fill the pockets, sleeves and hood with pinecones.

I had a meltdown in the middle of a forest. I screamed and collapsed and i was told I was overreacting.

Now, this isn't good behaviour for an adult for any child.

But when you're an undiagnosed autistic, you begin to learn that your sensory pain doesn't matter. It's too much, and needs to be ignored.

Holding the door closed whilst the toilet flushed, another sensory pain was one done to me "for laughs". I was told it wasn't that big of a deal and I needed to grow up.

So, is it any wonder that late diagnosed (and probably many early diagnosed) autistics ignore their own needs? We don't want to be too much. We don't want to rock the boat and endure being told that we're overreacting and to just shut up.

[healianthuss]

Huh I wonder if this affected my relationship to pain. Also this is 100% child abuse

[sadhoc]

There are so many posts on here about ableism that are really good and true, and I want to reblog them, but then op tacks on a line implying that autistic people specifically never experience ableism, or that autism is disability lite, or that autistic people are primarily aggressors and it’s just. I can’t reblog that. Even though I am visibly physically disabled as well as autistic, I know firsthand how awful people are to autistic people, including invisibly disabled autistic people with relatively lower support needs. Autistic people are targets of some of the most heinous ableism I’ve seen, and as a community, we need to stop dismissing them and excluding them on the grounds that like. A couple autistic people online are kinda annoying or ignorant. Autism is a serious disability and is extremely stigmatized, despite the weird fetishization and infantilization you see on social media

[autie-j]

Every autistic person that was ever told in the 2010s that literally anything about them is similar to Sheldon Cooper deserves financial compensation btw

[healianthuss]

Let's get the funds from RFK and have an official apology from the writers of Big bang theory

[imoved-starbitsun]

something i never see anyone talk about is how lonely autism can be. not because we don’t fit in or whatever, but because our love languages are so fundamentally different from the rest of the world.

i won’t always hear it when someone tells me they love me. i won’t always understand it when someone shares a kindness with me. sometimes it hurts to be touched. sometimes i interpret genuine care as mocking or insincere because i’ve been burnt so often, and i have no way of knowing otherwise.

when i spend time in my room engaging in interests i enjoy, but i leave the door open to let my friends come in and out and interrupt as they please, that’s love. when i send someone a long ramble about something i care about, that’s love. when i let someone hug me, that’s love. when i try a food even though it’s not a safe food, because my friend made it and is very proud of it, that’s love. when i take the time to tell you when i need space and that i’ll come back when im able, that’s love.

i don’t think people hear me when i tell them i love them. i don’t know if i can hear others when they say it either. i feel very alone most of the time, like there’s a glass barrier between me and the rest of the world. i can see them mouthing, i love you, i love you, but how can i believe them? they’re nowhere near me. no warmth and no life in it.

[healianthuss]

Family vs found family

[aw-tysm]

In case you didn't know, the term some of you are probably looking for is "lateral ableism". When a disabled person is prejudice against another disabled person.

It's not "internalised ableism" when it's against another disabled person.

It's lateral ableism.

[healianthuss]

Hopefully I'm being better at this. When people did not offer me compassion I strive to show it to those who are furthest from neurotypical sympathy.

[autie-j]

The way allistic people meme about autism nowadays, sometimes I just want to be like, can you tell me anything about autism that doesn't have to do with special interests?

[healianthuss]

Problem is they have a family member with autism and they still can't describe more than uwu. Educate yourself or give your dependant autistic a family that will actually properly take care of them.

[the-indigo-symphony]

I haven't looked at actual stats for this, so this is just based on what I've seen on Tumblr, but I'm not surprised that so many autistic people also have OCD, especially moral OCD.

When you're constantly corrected on your own actions, intentions, and interpretations of the world, taught that any sentence you think is innocent can be horrifically offensive (and that you knew that even though you didn't), scolded for the way your disability affects you and accused of lying when you struggle, fuck, why wouldn't autistic people have "I'm terrified of doing something wrong and am desperate to comfort myself" disorder? I can't say a single sentence online without checking for how it could be misinterpreted or used as evidence that I have done something wrong, hurt someone, acted like the scum of the earth – I feel the need to put a disclaimer that OCD isn't just how I described it above, because I'm afraid that someone's going to be bothered by that simplistic description – because I know people aren't going to give me grace for clumsy words, even if they know I'm autistic, even if they know part of my autism is wording things clumsily.

And I'm not surprised autistic burnout is such a common problem, either. When autistic people check over their words like this, they're expending energy to accommodate intolerance and ignorance from others. Even for fully verbal autistic people, that's going to take a toll.

That's part of why I like tone tags and just stating the tone like (genuine), I think. People will ask "Why don't you just add a sentence telling people what your tone is?" and the answer is that those sentences also get misinterpreted! Those sentences also get scanned for tone and intent to hurt that isn't there! So that's another sentence that I have to check over and over and over again so people don't read it and think I'm the scum of the earth! Just let me have my fucking tone indicators!! At least I know if someone ignores those that they're being an ableist prick and not just acting "normally" towards me, sure to get all the sympathy if I get frustrated that I can't say even a single sentence naturally without people hating or "correcting" me for it! Because yeah, it's not nice to pick on autistic people, but I'm just an asshole on the internet who didn't cover all possible nuances and sounded a little too snarky, which means it's okay to be a bitch to me!

It's always on me to watch and change my words, on me to play 3D chess in conversations to anticipate outcomes I don't understand, on me to get over my distress so I can "properly" apologize for inevitably fucking up the simplest of fucking conversations no matter how rude the other party was being, and never on others to give me any grace or apologies for my literal fucking disability. It's really no wonder that I'm always worried that I'm going to say something wrong and unforgivable – according to ableism, I am. And the only way for me to move forward from that is to accept that I am only as much of an asshole as the people who put me in this position in the first place.

Still, I'm so fucking tired. I just want to make a shitpost or point out a pattern I've seen or correct some misinformation without people calling for my head if I choose not to work overtime to make it look like I don't actually have a disability they claim to accept. For the love of fuck can I please just be allowed to chill. Please.

[healianthuss]

Oh ok I thought I had run out of space to be mentally unhealthy. Brain finds a way to fuck me over again. Not cool serotonin (simplification ik it's not just that neurotransmitter)