project aloe vera

this is jbaggles. i just don't wanna spam my non-rp followers. check out the pinned message and always remember to send burnbook positive asks!

[healtheburn]

this is a sideblog of jbaggles. i just don't wanna spam my non-rp followers. feel free to continue a discussion here, but i will not respond if you choose to reply to me through burnbook. you may also submit something to this blog instead of submitting to burnbook, and i will attempt to provide a thoughtful response. i don't know everything. i don't claim to. i'm far from perfect. i'm not always nice. i make mistakes all the fucking time. frankly, i just believe i'm the better option between the two of us. that's all. others are welcome to join the discussion, but i will not accept confrontational responses. no name-dropping. no site-dropping. no asks or submissions that provide easily identifiable information (name/site-dropping without technically name/site-dropping). no overtly inflammatory or abusive language. you're absolutely allowed to have an opinion, but i won't tolerate hurtful comments made for the sake of being hurtful. i don't accept shaming. i'd like this to be productive. also, if you're reading this, send some positive asks burnbook's way. thanks!

an addition: i i will no longer respond to submissions repeating the same judgements or assumptions regarding my character or intentions. it would be one thing if i hadn't explained myself in detail, but i have. so, if you choose to repeat the same points, i will delete the message without comment. it's no longer a discussion at that point, and i am only hurting myself. additionally, if you are expecting me to respond to questions and explain myself, then i expect the same from you. if you ignore what i said in the previous message and simply pile on more criticism, i am deleting the message without comment. you are holding me to a standard that you aren't holding yourself to, and that's not going to lead to productive conversations.

i will respond to the other submissions soon. likely tomorrow or the day after that. i'm still taking it easy. but know that i appreciate your thoughts and the time you took submitting!

[healtheburn]

this is mainly a vent post for myself (sorry!). i've never been mentioned on burnbook but i still feel a lil uncomfy knowing that i could be on a site with them w/o knowing (bc yea, i 100% don't want to interact with them). it legitimately bothered me a little when they bragged about being on private sites with people who have openly opposed them. i feel like the only 1s that would be good with burnbook being apart of their site are those that are as equally as mean spirited as they are. because they have to be with some of the submissions they post. idc if it comes thru the inbox, you should know well enough not to be posting somebody complaining about so & so being annoying (for the offense of.. talking in the discord...? are we for rl rn????) or 'anybody know anything about x person? i get bad vibes' (as if that isn't trying to bait trolls that have already admitted to using the blog?? you can't interact with somebody for yourself before running to a drama blog to ask for all the dirty deetz on them???????) i've personally gone thru some heavy shit in the rpc, & i can't even begin to imagine if i had gone thru that heavy shit & then had it run thru these blogs on blast like that like it was this week's free entertainment for everyone. for the record: i don't think any of the drama blogs should exist but it feels more personal to me with burnbook solely because of their attitude with not taking ANY accountability in it.

ultimately the burnbook blog depresses me because while i'd love to run a site in the future, i doubt if i ever will while that blog actively exists because of how i've seen it tear down site after site. i'm still bitter & sad about what happened with pixel pen club (r.i.p. the sandbox site we all deserved but lost /pours one out)

you're good!! i felt a similar wave of discomfort, and i'm still unsettled by the thought. i've gotta believe that someone displaying this level of callousness will inadvertently out themselves in the end - maybe not as burnbook, but as an unsafe person in general. i have thought quite a bit about what my formative roleplay experiences would've looked like with gossip blogs in the mix, and that's not an alternate universe i'd ever want to visit. we need room to take big swings creatively and even socially. we also need room to make mistakes. if i never had that as a teenager, i don't know where i'd be now. (and that has me thinking about the average age of individuals using burnbook for their bullying campaigns. depressing.)

i can respect your decision to steer clear of site-making, because i know everyone has varying tolerances and capabilities. you gotta do what you gotta do to protect yourself. that being said, i will always encourage sticking it to these gossip blogs in any way you can. for now, that might be sending this ask, and that's okay. but i'm hoping maybe, just maybe!!! more people actively opposing gossip blog culture will reduce some of the fear in our community and open the door to new (new-old?) possibilities.

[healtheburn]

Re: Community building. I’m going to let my theatre kid jump out and say, don’t overthink the process and take a risk. I’ve been reaching out directly to folks whose vibes and ideas are similar to my own judging by their writing profiles or ideas they’ve shared on a server. But I don’t come empty handed, I basically write a short message indicating where our ideas/characters/plot inspo intersect and make offers built on those. I find that initial messages that simply say “hey, wanna plot together?” a little discouraging. I’ve gotten some results, at least enough for me to be content. Can’t say everyone will love a random dm, but it doesn’t hurt to try!

I’ll also copy and paste a comment I left in another of your posts regarding plotting:

I highly advise looking into the basics of improv theatre. Nerdy, I know! But it’s all about being a performer looking to make their scene partner shine. Cooperation and paying close attention to what the other performer is putting down are all keys to a successful narrative. Always make offers! Even silly ones! You never know what might spark your partner’s creativity. It’s all about saying “yes, and” or “no, but.” I think, in the end, we need to encourage a sense of play in plotting. No one is here to write the next best-selling novel, right? And isn’t the word “play” literally part of roleplay? Let’s bring joy back!!!!

answering this, because i don't need to add much other than a lengthy applause break. this is fantastic advice, and i'm especially vibing with the iprov piece. i think i'll often "yes, and" instinctively, but i never made the formal connection. now that you've pointed it out, i will be leaning in. thank you for this + being an absolutely gem in general!!!

[healtheburn]

dear anon lied about on burnbook: i hope you know there are those of us who stay somewhat aware of that blog but don't let it influence our own opinions of anybody mentioned there. it seems more like a shitty soundboard for petty (bored?) individuals than it does a legitimate means of keeping tabs on anybody truly horrendous in the rpc. does that make sense? idk if anybody remembers those days when we'd have those rpc wall pages (for characters to create drama) but it reminds me of that (except 10x worse bc this is with rl people w/rl feelings). people should just journal instead or reflect inwardly to see what they could be doing differently themselves instead of lashing out anonymously but.... POINT BEING there are those of us that pay that shit no mind and i hope you don't give up on the rpc entirely bc there's still some good!! i promise!!!

this is such a kind, thoughtful response, and props to you for taking the time to provide some comfort and support. this is the kind of energy i love to see!! you're absolutely right, too. while these blogs can and do cause damage, it's important to remember that not everyone is participating in the madness. it's likely a relatively small, yet very loud group of people expressing their frustrations in an unhealthy, hurtful way. that's not a reflection on anyone being name-dropped, and like this anon said - a lot of us are well-aware.

[rpcburnbook]

Was this supposed to be a gotcha? // not the same anon as before, but i think it's less a gotcha and more just spelling out the fact that you're kind of violating people's consent because you're writing with them under false pretenses. you're a creep and a fucking loser and even though i'm sure another blog would take burnbook's place if you did close your blog, i still think the community would be better without you in it. i think what you're doing is manipulative and i hope you get exposed.

😂 As an admin do *you* ask every new member to your site if they run or associate with Burnbook? No. No one is asking that question and if they were asking, don’t you think everyone would say ‘no’ anyway? It’s ridiculous to think that way.

Doesn’t that make most of the rpc “fucking losers” and “creeps” since most of the rpc use aliases instead of their government name or their irl nickname (if they have one)? Especially those who have changed/swapped aliases? Hm.

I’m a writer and a role player. I also happen to run Burnbook. It’s not a false pretence - it’s not something the wide rpc gives thought to when someone new joins their site or server.

[healtheburn]

hey, so it's abundantly clear that you're trying to muddy the waters here. make false equivocations, move the goalpost, change the subject.

i don't believe this person mentioned admins questioning members. i'm not sure anyone has. i can see why you'd want to pivot, considering you are the one who put yourself in this position to begin with. "or joining another private site and writing with the same people who publicly denounce me." those are your words. the admins didn't need to ask, because it sounds like the members (and potentially staff) already made their position on you quite clear. if you know this and continue to occupy a space in their lives, then that is a violation.

btw "well, if everyone else lies when someone is trying to set reasonable boundaries, then it's fine if i do" is not a great argument.

the criticism has nothing to do with maintaining privacy in the rpc. you're attempting to make their argument look ridiculous by generalizing to the point of absurdity. no one said aliases are bad. no one. if someone has made it clear that they do not want to associate with you, that you are an unsafe person, it is wrong to knowingly interact with them under a different identity. that is not the same thing as if my name is jake and i work at an arcade, but i go by barry and never mention the arcade. come on, you know better. and tbh, you don't have to tell them who you are, but you sure as fuck better stay away. address that. stop wriggling around, trying to escape accountability.

actually, i don't know about anyone else, but i give thought to whether or not i want bullies in my space. i would never want to write with you. i would never want to plot with you. just for the record.

now, to everyone else, please don't start any witch-hunts. while what the person running burnbook is doing might be awful, nothing is going to be gained by pointing fingers.

[healtheburn]

also!! i would love to pull from you guys? i'm absolutely fine with the venting re: burnbook, because i do believe shining a light on the harm done is necessary. at the very least, it provides a space for those targeted to have a voice and be heard. with that being said, i believe healing the burn also means choosing to be supportive, open to new ideas, and promoting positive change instead of riding a never-ending cycle of frustration. building community feels like a good place to start. that's been on my mind, and i see a lot of folks talking about it in one way or another. so: what helps you when joining a new site? are there any tips or tricks you use? how do you manage the anxieties of plotting with someone new? how do you show interest? etc. etc. try to focus on what to do vs. what not to do. try to focus on your behavior and choices vs. the behavior and choices of everyone else. that's probably going to be the most effective way of doing this.

[healtheburn]

letting my inbox sit for a second, but i wanted to swing by with some potentially relevant thoughts - maybe helpful, maybe painfully basic? gonna go for it, anyway. i don't wanna simply point out problems. i wanna offer solutions or advice or insight where i can, because i think that's where we trip up a lot of the time? yeah, we can identify something as a problem area, but recognition only goes so far.

anyway, i love receiving pins, posts, tiktoks, etc. from people i'm plotting/writing with, and i try to return the favor. however, i've noticed how intimidated i feel by the latter? after some soul-searching, i realized that it had more to do with my self-consciousness and fear of being wrong than the other person. i'm not scared of them. i'm scared of making a fool of myself by being off-base.

i've been trying to get over that fear by one: naming it. "josie, you're afraid of looking like an idiot." then i ask what's underneath that fear: "if you're not on the money at all times, you're going to get left behind. people will abandon you or not give you a chance at all if you make a mistake." when i start to dig down, i'm forced to see the cracks in my own logic. i have to think, "do i care if someone is a little off-base at times?" not really, especially if the information isn't readily available. no one is a mind-reader. most people aren't reading every thread on a site the second it drops. "would i rather receive the thing, even if it's a little off-base?" yeah, for sure. the thought counts here, i think.

this goes for plotting, as well. it's okay if i'm not always on. it's okay if the other person is on, and i'm struggling. it's okay if my idea falls flat. making mistakes and trouble-shooting and being surrounded by little crumpled-up pieces of paper is part of the creative process, and i am robbing myself of that (and robbing myself of a potentially cool friendship!!) when i submit to the anxious little gremlin in my head. but i can't shame the gremlin! i can't dismiss it entirely! for me, i've noticed that talking with the gremlin and getting on their level is the best way to soothe that particular beast.

[healtheburn]

You say you want be better than Burnbook but you’re literally following the same steps as they are, re: not answering asks, deleting them if they’re hurtful, etc. the only thing is that you’re not posting negative asks about other people … but that doesn’t make you *better* than Burnbook, you’re wearing a similar cape. Everyone can see it.

my friend, i think the part where i'm refusing to platform senseless bullying is a pretty significant difference, and i kinda can't believe you included it in your ask and still hit submit. i'm not trying to be a dick. i'm just pointing out that you built the obvious and reasonable rebuttal into your criticism. on top of that, i've provided clear reasoning as to why i'm deleting certain messages. i'm not shutting down new ideas or new points being made. i am not shutting down productive conversation. i am shutting down mindless, repetitive harassment. i am not refusing to address criticism. i am happy to engage, but not when i've already thoroughly explained myself and still face blatant disregard. i've tried to be clear regarding my boundaries and the content i am willing to post. i want to respect and engage with thoughtful, productive submissions, and i've tried to make it clear what that means. if you would like further clarity, go ahead and ask. finally, i'd like to point out my non-anonymous status, which means i'm actually opening the door to accountability. i'm not avoiding consequences.

there is a difference. i'm sorry if you cannot see that, but i will not be repeating myself.

i heavily debated on whether or not i should answer this, because the ask ignores a lot of what i've said in order to make their assumptions. however, you did sort of raise a new point, and i did want to tackle that. again, if you have something new to say on the topic, be my guest. otherwise, not engaging anymore.

i truly, truly hope that you embrace compassion for yourself and others. it is a much better way to live.

(also, i don't wear a cape. it could get stuck in a plane's engine or something, and then what?)

[healtheburn]

at the end of the day, they're the judge, jury, and executioner. they hand-pick what goes into that queue. i know of multiple instances where people have sent in very reasonable submissions that were never posted // Yes! I was being slammed so hard awhile back and I had a friend say they were so upset for me they did come to my defense. They knew what was being said wasn't true! But Burnie refused to post what my friend said about me! They never posted anything pro-me but for months continued to let anti posts about me come through. I know people were trying to defend me during all of this yet none of the posts telling my side, or people saying this wasn't okay would come through yet everything negative about me did! They're helping shape a narrative and they decide how it's going to get to come into the public rp.

so most importantly, i'm sorry you were put through that awful machine. someone choosing to anonymously drag you on a gossip blog instead of handling their issues maturely says far more about them than it could ever say about you. i'm so glad you had friends willing to back you up during that time, even if the person running burnbook chose to censor them, because a solid support system is invaluable. thank you for sharing your experience! it's important people know that they're not getting the full picturing, that someone behind the scenes could be manipulating their perceptions. i can say it sure as hell warped my brain - not because i believed what people were writing, but because there were so few glimmers of hope and light and decency. now that i've heard stories like this and interacted with more people in our community, i know for a fact that's not the reality. there are cruel people out there, sure, but there are also a lot of good people. i hope you keep making little differences through kindness and advocacy (they add up!!!), and don't let the bastards get you down.

[healtheburn]

Burnie has refused to post my concerns and upset about how my sexual abuser likes to use their platform to spread lies and misconceptions about me. I have tried numerous times to bring awareness to the fact that people can't always be trusted, and to watch as people say, "There's always some truth in what's posted" or "Just be a good person and you won't be posted about" is so harmful because it means this thought is letting my literal sexual abuser win. I have them blocked and they've used Burnie's platform on multiple occasions to continue to try to get to me. They still do to this day. I have tried multiple times to bring my abuser up and they just won't post it.

i've been staring at this submission since i received it, but i don't think i'm ever going to come up with a satisfactory response. there are no words to properly describe how sorry i am or how disgusted i feel. platforming an abuser while silencing a survivor is inexcusable. you deserve the space and time to heal + a hobby to lean into when life feels unmanageable, not continuous harassment enabled by a miserable gossip blog. you are very brave for attempting to shed light on this issue and advocating for yourself. that's true no matter the outcome. i hope you can feel how much i admire you, and i imagine many others feel the same. i am so, so grateful that you trusted me to deliver this message, and i will do everything i can to help you make the changes this community so desperately needs. you are not alone. we see you. we hear you. we know the "there's always some truth" and 'be a good person" bullshit is just that: bullshit. and if you need a listening ear, i'm here. keep it up, anon. you're amazing just for being here.

[healtheburn]

venting their experiences and playing dr. phil and dismissing their feelings as invalid all because this is a hobby?? // no matter what you say their feelings are not valid enough to essentially scream to an entire public gossip forum about how annoyed and hurt they are by a person. vent without using names. if Burnie was just using it as a venting blog without names a lot of people would be less fussed because most of us understand the need to vent. What you don't need to do is vent while name dropping a person to try to cancel them, hurt them on a huge public stand, ect. Because at this point it just is a person trying to change that person, run them off, or hurt them, it feels like revenge not just venting. Let's not pretend someone needs to vent with a name drop. People are fully capable of getting venting out, and that need to vent without a name drop. In fact it could still start discourse about you "Being right" without trying to drag a name through the mud. It can still give you that "just need to talk about this" out. There's no excuse to name drop, none in your need to vent. It's unnecessary.

soooo tbh i'm here to be your hype man and that's all, because you hit the nail on the head. name-dropping has nothing to do with the need to vent, and conflating the two is absurd and disingenuous. venting is natural. most of us do it, and there's a way to do it safely and responsibly. name-dropping is all about power and control. it's a form of punishment. it's someone believing they have the right to arbitrarily punish another person. (again, all i'm doing is hyping up your points. keep the microphone as long as you want, comrade!!)

[healtheburn]

As someone who was lied about on those blogs, thank you for this. I truly do not understand why people are acting like these blogs are valid or harmless. Personally, they made this hobby almost unbearable. I don't interact with people on sites a lot anymore; I don't trust anyone I write with cause I don't know who sent those things. No one on the site seemed to openly dislike me, and no one I wrote with seemed to dislike our things. So now I don't know who to trust. I don't know if it was one person posting over and over, or multiple people who hated me so much that they thought I deserved public humiliation. What could I possibly have done to you, for you to think I deserved that? The fact that you also can't defend yourself on those blogs makes everything worse; now a bunch of people just think these things about me, and I can't say anything cause somehow that proves them right. I just think people don't realize the damage they are doing to real people. And the lack of empathy from Burnbook pretending like they're not helping people get bullied is scary.

god, i'm so fucking sorry. my heart sincerely breaks for you, and i wish i had the answers. bullying is awful enough, but not knowing who your bully is adds another painful layer to an already painful situation. i think you described the paranoia perfectly, and that's a consequence many unfortunately overlook. "just ignore it and more on" doesn't work in this case, because now you're questioning who your friends are and who can be trusted. it's a maddening and unfair situation, and anyone unwilling to recognize that needs to fix their fucking heart.

i hope you can find some peace and trust again. i hope you don't give up looking and find a space where you can be you without that fear hanging over your head. this world sucks a lot of the time, and we deserve a little escape. we deserve a place where we can let go and practice our creativity. we deserve safety and community.

i want to thank you for sharing. i know this doesn't make the hurt go away, but your voice matters. that's what they're trying to take. they want your joy, your voice, your power. well, fuck 'em. you speak your truth, and there are gonna be folks here supporting you. if this journey has taught me anything, it's that there are a lot more good people out there than i knew. you are not alone. not at all.

my hope is that stories like this might cause someone to think twice about submitting to a gossip blog. i hope that more and more people in our community will realize that this cowardly and harmful behavior is unacceptable. because we don't have to accept this as inevitable. we shouldn't get over it. we should care. caring is fucking good, and this world needs more of it. so the fact that you give a fuck makes the world a better place. you being you, sending this message. you are an important part of making the world a better place. we need you and your voice, okay? if you ever need a reminder, come right back on over here and i'll set you straight.

[healtheburn]

turns out i didn't need a couple days to figure my shit out. i took my own advice - asked myself a bunch of questions, talked to a friend, and decided to take care of myself by setting a boundary. since doing all that, i feel so much better. i cannot even begin to describe the relief, y'all. a couple asks sent me spiraling, and i got so upset with myself for "letting it get to me." that's when i caught myself and figuratively pointed to my own reflection in the mirror and growled, "shame won't fix this, bitch." bitch with affection, though.

going in circles with anons reminded me of damaging patterns i experienced as a child. i was having emotional flashbacks. not good!! i am only now learning to escape this cycle in my personal life, and i'm sure as hell not gonna go through another spin here on tumblr dot com. i will not accept treatment that i've deemed unacceptable. if no one else deserves it, why do i?

so to the two anons from yesterday - one of you brought up "attention" again. one of you returned to say there's no use arguing with me and went on to accuse me of behaviors that you were personally participating in - i'm not repeating myself. if you can demonstrate that you are reading to comprehend and not to attack, i will absolutely continue a conversation. otherwise, no dice.

i will say this: i was trying too hard. i kept telling myself, "if you re-phrase it just right. if you ask the right question. surely, if you're good enough, they'll understand." and that's the cycle talking!!!

so here's the boundary: i will no longer respond to submissions repeating the same judgements or assumptions regarding my character or intentions. it would be one thing if i hadn't explained myself in detail, but i have. so, if you choose to repeat the same points, i will delete the message without comment. it's no longer a discussion at that point, and i am only hurting myself. additionally, if you are expecting me to respond to questions and explain myself, then i expect the same from you. if you ignore what i said in the previous message and simply pile on more criticism, i am deleting the message without comment. you are holding me to a standard that you aren't holding yourself to, and that's not going to lead to productive conversations.

i will respond to the other submissions soon. likely tomorrow or the day after that. i'm still taking it easy. but know that i appreciate your thoughts and the time you took submitting!

for now, i'll leave you with a profound, thought-provoking quote courtesy of my mentor.

[healtheburn]

alright, i'm gonna detach and take care of me for a couple days. i've been trying to keep tabs on burnbook and reblog immediately in order to increase visibility, but reading those submissions is honestly the hardest part of this entire endeavor. it makes me really fucking sad, man. i might re-calibrate and tweak my approach going forward. we'll see. i think taking some time might give me a bit of necessary clarity. feel free to continue submitting. just know it might take a second to get a response. be kind to each other, and take this as a sign to engage in a bit of self-care of your own.

[rpcburnbook]

can josie stop tryna make you a villain like wtf lmao

~

[healtheburn]

could the individuals making comments like this have a genuine conversation with me? could the person running burnbook? i am answering every question i receive with as much detail as i can. i attempt to be respectful and thoughtful in my responses. i regularly ask for individuals to elaborate, because i would like to understand how they arrived at their conclusions. i provide detailed explanations for my critiques, and i try to ensure that i'm using verifiable evidence to inform my opinions. i am not simply relying on my personal experience. again, i am fallible. i can interpret information incorrectly. i have blind spots. i am open to feedback. the problem is that very few of the individuals attempting to criticize me are doing the same.

i believe burnbook should cease certain behaviors. i identified those behaviors. i provided my rationale. i made myself accessible. i encouraged a conversation. i put a name behind what i had to say. you are not doing the same.

i am routinely met with silence when i ask questions. at this point, i have to believe that many of you don't know the answers or aren't satisfied with whatever you came up with. if i am off-base, prove me wrong. that is a genuine request.

this will likely be the last post i reblog from rpcburnbook on this particular topic, because i've said my piece. i expect my name will be dropped again with little to no elaboration, and this will continue to be my response.

[healtheburn]

Genuinely, thank you for putting yourself on the line of fire. Not sending this anonymously because I think it can be useful to have more active voices backing you and this blog up. The owner of that gossip dumpster fire loves to play obtuse (“me, am I the drama?”) when we are all well aware, themself included, that without them playing judge and executioner, we wouldn’t be in this rotten place. Certainly, can’t say that without that blog the jcink rpc would be instantly showered in marshmallows and rainbows, there are always going to be bad actors in these spaces. But brother, is it really too much to ask that we not encourage witch hunts and the kind of shit-talking that should remain inside our heard? Not every despicable thought or opinion about someone we barely know and interact with needs to be aired out in public. Anyway, rant over. Thanks for your kindness and advocacy for a better world.

hi there!! first of all, let me say that it's incredibly cool and brave of you to come off anon and voice your opinion. pls know i'm giving you all the props in the world.

you captured a lot of my same frustrations, for sure. it's not about the negative feelings. it's about how we're handling them as a community, and you already pointed out some primary examples. the person running burnbook, unfortunately, seems content to throw gasoline on that fire and give it a platform to spread. it's depressing, and i wish it could be different. (and i will always say that i do genuinely hope that they reconsider their choices.) and tbh, i don't even need all of that to stay in people's heads. venting is totally natural. it just becomes a problem when that venting is unchecked, targeted, anonymous, and fully public.

but yes, thank you for your support and putting yourself out there!!

p.s. gotta say i vibe so heavily with your tumblr banner and handle lkasjdlfk

[healtheburn]

genuinely what is your goal here with this blog?? like what are you trying to actually accomplish?? bringing down blogs like tattler and burnbook by reblogging people venting their experiences and playing dr. phil and dismissing their feelings as invalid all because this is a hobby?? i'm all for positivity in the community but that can't happen without releasing the negativity as well and you asking people "who hurt you" when they're complaining about their personal experiences differing from yours is not positivity. i'd say it's actually more harmful than what burnbook is doing.

lbr taking down one gossip blog is going to bring up more. someone will pick the torch back up. gossip blogs have been part of rpc culture for years and no one with critical thinking takes what's posted on there seriously. the voices on burnbook are the minority who need drama in their lives compared to the majority who can behave like adults.

you can't change the rpc with novels of advice no one asked for or wanted and by telling people who've been burned by groups or sites that they're in the wrong for disagreeing with a viewpoint and implying those people are damaged goods.

you have every right to disagree with my methods and the way i am running this blog. however, i have every right to comment on the points you're making. you say that what i'm doing is invalidating feelings and personal experiences. now, i may have a slip-up here or there, but i do regularly attempt to empathize with a person's position and what they might be feeling. what i generally take issue with is the way those experiences and feelings are used to speak to others - when differing perspectives on a hobby escalates with aggression and vitriol. i also take generally take issue with personal experiences and feelings being used as an excuse to relentlessly harass others. constructive criticism, discussion, and venting are all important aspects of building and maintaining community. i'm not attempting to take any of that away. if you believe that's my goal, i could see how that might be upsetting or frustrating. but to be clear: i'm simply advocating for these things to be done in a way that is safe and effective.

if i am truly missing the mark - could you please provide a few examples of where i'm being outright invalidating without any attempt at understanding or empathy? i am absolutely fallible, and there may have been an instance where i didn't respond the best i could. (outside of my responses to the person running burnbook. while i believe they are relatively even-handed, i'll admit that i don't prioritize extending empathy or validation. there's a reason for the different approach, and i would be happy to explain if necessary.) i will absolutely hear differing perspectives, but i'm going to question them if i feel that it's necessary or i require further understanding. the issue has been, however, that i rarely get answers to my questions.

this blog also isn't entirely positivity-based. if i misrepresented myself in that, way i apologize. that's part of my goal, but there's an aspect of questioning the status quo and trying to change the way discussions are had in my own small way. and i mean, i do believe changes in communication can increase overall positivity in a community, so i suppose you could say it still comes down to that?

you say i'm more harmful than burnbook in this way. i'd also appreciate some expansion on that. if the issue is that i'm allegedly invalidating experiences and telling people that they're outright wrong - doesn't the same behavior take place on burnbook? in that case, wouldn't i be equally harmful instead of more harmful? i also have a much, much smaller following, so less influence. for these reasons, i have a hard time believing i'm more harmful than burnbook, but i would like to understand your reasoning.

there are plenty of forces in this world that have existed for a long time and perpetuate harm. does that mean we should ignore them and move on? i just can't get behind that logic. maybe another gossip blog pops up. if it does in the same form, i will be doing this in response.

you seem to be implying that burnbook doesn't have much of an effect? because most people act like adults, no one with critical thinking skills takes the blog seriously, etc.? i wish i could have that point of view, but i've seen and heard of too many examples to believe it.

i am sorry to anyone who had negative experiences with different sites or individual members. i've had my fair share, too. i don't believe anyone is damaged goods for feeling burned. that is not my issue, and i've tried to make that clear. i am attempting to understand you here, but i ask that you do the same. have been very open to answering questions on my motives, thoughts, feelings, opinions, etc., so please do not continue to project them onto me.