your tears | ryland grace
request: Imagine being with Ryland as you two are the only ones who survived and somewhere you two argue that turns into a big fight but the pressure and knowing you won't go home hits you that you start to cry midfight and Ryland feels horrible so he turns all soft and apologise eheheh
just a tad ooc because I don't think he would volunteer for any of this willingly but just think like oh he wanted to save reader and shhh 🤫 also I didn't know what you had in mind but this is like flirty!pre relationship
"well sorry if I don't want to venture off into space to retrieve some alien bomb!" you were spacing around the room right in front of the cockpit. "that's just the thing you won't be going out there I will!"
"hello? that's not any better I don't want you going out there either!" he let out a dramatic, splayed out groan and threw his hands up in exclamation. you didn't say it, would never say it but if he was gone you'd be all alone and I don't think I could handle it, as selfish as it is.
"it'll be quick I'll go out there, retrieve the darn thing and go back!" you glared sternly at him in spite of his plan knowing one little miscalculation could get him hurt or worse. "it's just not that easy though, is it?" your arms were crossed and stance looking oddly familiar to one of a teachers.
"anything could go wrong and for that ryland no ones going, eventually the ship will give up and leave, alright?" your hands trail up to your forehead, massaging the stress away. hopefully that was the end of it though, being in the cold vacuum of space didn't help either.
"well i apologize but I'm going" you can hear the sudden distance in his voice get farther away than it was before and your head snapped over with a mean scoff that didn't intend to be made out. It seemed as he prepared to go as he was already out of sight from where we were previously.
you ran after him and his long perfect, amazing, gorgeous legs. "ryland- no!" huffs of aspiration broke from your lungs as you chased him over to the airlock. it would've taken him literal years and some help to get suited up for the first time but it didn't stop anything.
you turned the corner and he was already trying to get the pants on over his own, struggling profusely. "give it up ryland your not going please." in the corner you stood next to the rest of his needed equipment and crossed your arms in anticipation.
wondering what he would do next.
he just continued on, glancing back every so often maybe feeling awkward or making sure you were still there. honestly where the hell else would I go? surprisingly he did much better than I my first time getting dressed in that suit and had almost everything done and ready.
keyword is almost he had to swing by you and grab the helmet, frankly one of the most important things he would need. hesitation could be sensed in his movements at first looking around like he would find another helmet some place else.
they were all here, in order, behind me. eventually he gave up the fight in his head and came over. all 6,0 feet and 170 pounds of him.
"move... please" he stood closer than usual, practically evading personal space and you'll know he'll beat himself up for it later.
"No" your arms are crossed and you decided a while ago that you would stand your ground no matter how intimidating he looked (in reality you knew him and he couldn't hurt a fly). he looks surprised at the bluntness but not at the response.
he let out a huff and tried to reach around me but you brought his arm back down swiftly, giving him a stern look. his other hand quickly grabbed the space helmet and as he went to put it on, completely disregarding your words you quickly snatched it away with a look of betrayal on your face.
"give it to me." you held it even farther behind your back "your not going ryland" he moved closer and even closer before backing us up into the wall. probably not on purpose but it still stuck "the ship has probably already given up by now"
as you said that you heard something clank from the outside hitting in and knew it was another message from that wretched thing out in the space where nothing normal existed. normal in our eyes.
us and the ship that houses us are the only normal things out here. no other humans to talk to or be seen forever, this was a one-way ticket into nothingness and death.
there is no possible way we could ever get back to earth, back to my house, my job, my family. I was stupid to take a responsibility like this into my grasp because now you were going to die, not knowing if your studies would get back to earth and save everyone.
you would've just died anyway so why'd you do it like this? my memory is just a little foggy, definitely not as bad as rylands but some things still don't make comprehensive sense. 'why wouldn't I leave this mission to the professionals?'
my hands grow numb before It becomes intelligible and the space helmet drops from your grasp. space. helmet. the fear is drawn across your face as you look to ryland and he looks weird. an emotion you've never seen before is plastered upon his face.
I've gotten so used to his face, because I have no one else to look or talk to. (no other reason) I'm going to die here, alone, with him. our argument will break us apart and I'll soon have no one to talk to.
"are you alright?" he looks concerned and frustrated from the prior conversation at the same time, more concern visible in his downturn features and all I can think about is how I'm going to die out here in space, alone, and without a proper meal.
the tears come on faster than I can blink, suddenly I'm hyperventilating in front of ryland. the shame of guilting him in a distressed moment hits faster than the tears and suddenly you're stepping back and trying to shake the tears away.
my foot loses balance on the helmet behind me and his hand settles on my arm to keep balance. I jerk back like I'd been burned, but I would rather the burn than the unconscious reactions. what could only be explained as a stray being picked up from the streets.
the tears are resistent even with my hands over my mouth trying to stop the noises from coming out. you look up and it makes it all worse seeing the sorrow driven onto his face and his eyebrows creased in the middle making the lines look intensely detailed.
when he trys to move closer he doesn't say anything so you put a hand out worried he'll embrace or step closer. to me that would feel even worse. I managed to choke out an apology as your breathing slowly closed in on you. I would have loved the embrace, died for the embrace but I didn't want it like this.
"Im sorry I don't m-mean to" the words come out choked and I can't bear to say anything else, worried I wouldn't be able to get it out. "you're fine, you are fine. " his arms flailed about not knowing where to put them in efficiency to help but not overwhelm.
"breath in for me- like this" he demonstrated big deep breaths, that no normal person would take, but if it helped with his kids (I assume it did) it must help for anyone?
as I began in sync with the exaggerated breaths it seemed to be working because the tears, never stopped, but plugged up to a certain extent. I could also take full breaths which was relaxing when it helped.
focusing on breathing distracted the brain from paying attention to anything else. how do I know that, ryland.
"are you feeling better?" his arms surrounded my orbit but never fully rested as to not startle. unconsciously my head shook up and down slowly avoiding eye contact "I need words please" 'yeah now I know he's definitely done this with students before'
the rest of the tears I wiped away from my face, pulling myself together to act 'professional' "yes I'm fine" reluctantly spoke fixing any discontentments in my features. when some time in the silence passed and I looked finished with distracting my hands from anything he moved in slightly to signal an embrace.
a slight nod and opening of my arms was all that he needed and leaned into the embrace. he smelt exactly like you would think baby wipes, a faint mustard scent, and something else I couldn't name. "I'm sorry" it came out mindlessly, not even thinking about it.
you just wanted all this to be better. it made your heart stutter when he pulled away so suddenly. "I'm the only one that needs to apologize alright?" he tilts your head up to his bringing a thumb to one side of your cheek and brushing any stray tears away, before doing the same for the other eye.
your breath hitched in hesitation but seeing the look in his eyes you just nodded your head slowly. "I'm sorry. we shouldn't argue especially because I'm being hard-headed." the eye contact made it harder to hear what he was saying since it felt so nice.
he was so nice. "you're a great part of this team and I would never want to lose you" I felt warm and cozy inside at his words, even if it's partly because our 'team' consists of two sleep deprived people who argue every other day.
"but I hope you understand that I have to go out there especially since they haven't stopped." the hole in your heart reappeared as the downturn on your face did as well.
"as much as it pains me to hear and see you do, I do understand why you have to go out there and I'll do you one better and ask why couldn't I go out there instead?" I didn't want to turn it into another argument but you just had to keep him safe, anyway that you can.
"because I'm already dressed" alright he got me there. "you better hurry up ryland. I mean it, if anything happens I need you to tell me immediately.
"of course I would, who else would do all the sciencey stuff if I was gone?" you laughed at the joke directed to you "definitely not me" slowly, remembering the helmet you reached down and grabbed the last thing he needed.
he muttered a small thank you and saluted me like the nerd he was. "I'll be right back" and before he put on his helmet he landed a small kiss to the top of my forehead.
ey did anyone catch the SLIGHT hunger games mockingjay reference 👀
