
if i look back, i am lost

Kiana Khansmith
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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Keni
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@heartbreakinglyjayden
"We were many things; we were infinite, we were tormented, dysfunctional, beautiful, sweet, broken, and maybe we were never meant to be together. But we were real. I will always love Zoey, I never deserved her. But I will always love her"
Headcanon: Zoey eventually moves on and marries, Jayden watches her from a distance, as she gets the family she always dreamed off and always wanted. It was just never with him. He will always love her and cite her as the one who got away. No one will ever compare to Zoey for him.
Back to the start. | Zoey + Jay
It would of just been a standard night for Zoey. She had buried herself in a pile of Law books and files that she had to finish before she went into work the next day. She flicked her hands throw her long curls as she let a sigh pass her lips as she closed the lid of her laptop. “Tea.” Was the only words that passed her lips as she adjusted her jacket on her shoulders, leaving her office in her house as she had felt her body get shoved forward into a banister of the staircase.
The Blonde had quickly spun around on her feet before she launched a semi pathetic punch (but lets be real, Zoey wasn’t a fighter) at the person dressed in black with a mask on there face. The person who was half the size of Zoey, wrapped their large hand around her tiny throat as Zoey quickly had grabbed onto his arms before the pair had went tumbling down through the banister, a groan passing Zoey’s lips as she felt her body collide with the table.
He'd been for a run, like he had most nights for the past fews months as things had gotten more tense. He loved to run, the action of his feet pounding against pavement soothing and relaxing for him. Cleared his thoughts, cleared his mind for all important things to try and filter through for him to even attempt to process. He was broken, a broken man. He loved Zoey with all his heart, yet he felt her slowly slipping from him, further and further until he was pretty sure he had entirely lost her, that their days were numbered.
As he entered the place they shared he called out, dropping his keys on the table. "Zo? Babe... oh my god" as he saw the balaclava clad intruder looming over his girl. Adrenaline hit and he moved forward with a growl, tackling the intruder before throwing a punch that sent his head knocking backwards, a few more before he felt the man lose consciousness between his grasp.
His first thought was for Zoey, moving to the blonde huddled over by the bannister unmoving. "Zoey, Zo... baby wake up, c'mon stay with me baby" he whispered, his hands cradling her face.
I told you to run.
A Thin Line between the Truth and Destruction // Jay & Zoey
Zoey wasn’t impressed within how Jay reacted and now she was hoping, praying for the fact that the doctor would actually confirm something for her. She stood there as she watched her boyfriend before she had grabbed his car keys as she nodded her head, her blond curls loosely bobbing up and down. “We will get this sorted.” She said quietly with a gentle smile on her lips as she had turned around to make a exit out of Jayden’s dorm.
After the drive to the doctor’s office was awkward enough, Zoey sat on the bed in the doctors office with her legs crossed and her bag right beside her as she was on her phone just browsing a online fashion magazine of some things that she had been spotting up for herself - plus she didn’t really have much she wanted to say to Jay. “Alright so what brings you in today Miss Turner and company?” The doctor said as he wandered into the small doctors room.
Fidgeting. That was all he was good for. He hated doctors surgeries, he hated the smell, the feeling of death even though it was not exactly somewhere where corpses were going to be laying about or anything. Although this didn't exactly stop him from peering around as if a dead guy was about to start lurching at him any minute.
As the doctor came in he jumped, shifting forward in his seat as his panic stricken eyes darted to the doctor. "Jay-- Jayden.. Humphrey. Not... that it ...matters" he stammered, leaning a little more forward in his seat. Calm down Humphrey you got this. Be there for your girl dickhead.
I guess old habits do die hard.
A goofy smile suddenly crossed Miles’ lips. The conversation all that amusing at all but it was so hard to keep a straight face when he was finding almost everything completely hilarious; “Hmm?” He asked the other, noticing he wasn’t entirely listening.
Jay hadn't been paying attention himself, more focused on the whole Zoey and possibly baby situation to really do much more then vaguely listening to his mom and Aunt Jenny gossiping in the kitchen. At Mile's laugh his dark eyes searched Mile's face. "Your high" he smirked, knowing the tell tale signs having been that way throughout most of his St Jude years. "Dude your not even going to share with your favorite cousin?"
---Okay, so...
…That’s not very nice to say.
Would you rather I lie and say "Oh please tell me more"
Thank you my friend. I haven’t seen you in a while and you look fucking good.
Well thank you. Thank you-- I've went and saw Henry for a while. You do not look so bad your self Tommy boy.
Oh, sorry. Am I, uh…am I interrupting something? I mean—I can just…come back later or whatever, if you want.
No, not at all, just a surprise is everything okay?
A Thin Line between the Truth and Destruction // Jay & Zoey
"I know, what I want and don’t want." Zoey said firmly through her teeth before she had pressed her lips together at the mention of her bes— well friend Maddy. She still had the pit of rage just bubbling up inside of her and she felt ready to launch a slap across Jayden’s face at the mention of Maddy. However, Zoey held back her as she eyed up her boyfriend, her stare almost as violent as a glare as she listened to Jayden’s words. The blonde let out a small sarcastic laugh pass her red painted lips, her blonde hair bouncing with her head shake. "Of course, I trust my doctor. He’s been my doctor since I was little, she was my parents doctor and you saying that I can’t trust a old family friend?” She questioned him, cocking her eyebrow up. Of course she was being defensive and trying to manipulate the situation back into her concer by mentioning her parents - he mentioned Maddy, the girl, her best friend that he slept with and the wound still did not sit will with the petite blonde.
"But fine, whatever.. We will go to your mothers doctor for a second opinion. I’ll ring and cancel my appointment, which is a shame because my doctor took the time out of her busy schedule." Zoey spoke as she had turned her attention to her handbag as she had began to look through her phone. "But then it would a waste of time getting your mothers doctor involved, she or he is properly equally as busy." Zoey said, taking her phone in her fingers, flicking her dark orbs back up to her boyfriends gaze
He pursed his lips, trying not to turn this into an argument. "No don't it's fine...we'll do whatever you want, shall we leave now?" he muttered, removing his sweatpants to grab his jeans on the bed. "I'll grab my jacket, we'll get this sorted Zo" he grabbed a hoodie, his fingers shaking lightly as he did the zip up. He was fucked. Truly and completely. He wasn't ready to be a dad yet...
Grabbing his keys, he turned to face his girlfriend, "Ready?"
A Thin Line between the Truth and Destruction // Jay & Zoey
Zoey raised her eyebrow as she listened. “My usual doctor.” Zoey said simply - by meaning she was just guessing that she wasn’t late because of stress due to getting ready for the new school semester. “I haven’t known for long, why do you think that I’m here Jayden” Zoey said, the tone in her voice sharp and quick. This wasn’t what she wanted, she didn’t expect a giant freak out from him. She thought that he love her, she loved him. “How do you mean.. this can’t be happening? I thought you loved me?” Zoey asked him slowly. “This is going to be our child. We’re gonna be a family.. However, I have another doctors appointment. I would like you to come” She explained to him seriously.
Shit. Calm down Jay it has to be a mistake. "Of course I love you Zo' I just, we're not ready I mean hell this is the first time in weeks you've stayed in the same room with me longer then a few minutes since the whole Maddy-- Madeline saga" he frowned, knowing bringing Maddy up was the worst idea possible. "I do love you Zoey..but we have to be sure on this.... --" he paused again, wondering how to best handle the situation without upsetting her. He wasn't ready for fatherhood, plain and simple, yet even now he could hear his father in the back of his mind telling him he needed to man up and do the right thing by his girlfriend, by the girl he proclaimed to love. He owed her that much at least. "Don't take this the wrong way babe, we just need to be sure." he reached out, gently resting his hands upon her slim waist, trying to keep the thought of diapers and screaming brats out of his mind. "Are you sure you trust this doctor? Do you maybe want to check my Mom's doctor for a second opinion?"
"Who’s ready to celebrate the best day of the year?"
Happy Birthday Mr Baker!