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heartcreep

sinners 101

cut

these are not battle scars they don’t represent bravery or tragedy there was no battle no scars these cuts are shallow you sang while you did it you smiled while you grazed the knife over your skin how could you smile if it mattered? your feelings are shallow as the cuts no reason or rhyme with them you pretend to cry as you pretend you want to die if you really want to die, then why aren’t you dead? live you live on out of fear you live on out of hypocrisy you live on out of horrible, horrible self preservation why would you cut your skin if you don’t want to hurt? why would you cut your wrists if you don’t want to die? why are you you cut where you won’t bleed you cut where you won’t hurt you cut where you won’t die so why cut at all? i don’t like it is that why? to spite me? do you hurt yourself just to upset me? shake your head all you want, but i can’t imagine any other reason do you hate me? do you want me gone? do you want me dead? you’re silent that’s answer enough i won’t let you die i won’t let you indulge in this pleasure i won’t let you happily hurt yourself i won’t let you disobey me anymore don’t speak don’t cut don’t die barely live but, still, live

dreamscreep-moved

//what you know and what you don’t//

you can’t hold the things i hold you can’t love the things i love i’m stained and dirty and you’re trying to stay clean if i tell you what i think, then i think it’ll ruin you

you wanted to play in my garden so you reached your soft fleshy fingers into my rose bush to pick a flower you said you’d be fine you said you knew about thorns and how to avoid them but in those petals was a spider waiting to bite you couldn’t have known

but i could have told you

we heard whispers through the air and when we couldn’t tell where they came from we decided that it was a ghost you couldn’t sleep for a week it wasn’t your fault for being scared

but i never told you that i was me whispering to you when you had your back turned

if i told you what i thought then i doubt you’d still be here and if i tell you what i think now i doubt you’ll stay much longer

how much do you already know? have you been secretly keeping track or are you really that naïve do you know what i won’t tell you? do you think you have a clue? do you think you’ve got me all figured out?

when you place your fragile palms onto my sickly skin i can see an infection spreading within you do you see it too? or do you trust me so blindly that you think i’d warn you if i was contagious?