I was sipping raspberry iced tea on my front porch when the phone rang. Being the lazy person that I am, especially on a Sunday, I let it ring some twenty times before I decide to get up and answer it. By the time I reach it, whoever was trying to call me had given up, probably decided I am either dead or off the map. My wife fizzes past me, blue bandana around her head, dutifully scrubbing the dining table with what smelled like bleach, out of all things. Probably an inexpensive detergent that I had coerced her into buying. We were expecting guests over and she was the kind of person who always liked to give the best impression, unlike me.
“You better take those off,” my wife says, propping herself against the sofa in search of a breather. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you shouldn’t be walking around the house with white socks.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I reply, waving off her suggestion, “They were going to get dirty anyway. That’s a risk you know you ought to take when you buy white socks.”
She shrugs and says something in return, but by that time I’m already back on my porch, sipping lemonade, paying little to no attention to messages being passed along between a family of blue jays.
I had only drifted off for a minute or two when a series of loud thuds snaps me back to wakefulness. I yawn and check the time, I had actually napped for fifteen minutes.
“Honey?” I call to my wife, hoping I could convince her to play a hand of cards with me before nightfall.
When I get no answer, I drag myself back into the house. On the stairwell, a glass cup lays shattered, with tiny droplets of blood next to it. And on the ground, my wife is down on her knees, sobbing next to my own dead body.
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