It was so hard. Living with the memory of him was so difficult. It was like having your heart torn to pieces, being unable to breathe.
Everything reminded you of him. The scent of antiseptic. The Pembroke Hospital, casting it's shadow on the city. His coat folded neatly in your bedroom.
Staying in the house was a nightmare, going outside was worse.
Your mom started to get worried about you, but you couldn't care less. He was gone, and he took your hapiness with him. A part of you.
Sitting on a chair inside the kitchen of your apartment, you remember the last day you saw him.
'' Jonathan will it really be alright ? ''
The man, who was previously standing in front of the door, ready to leave, come to kneel in front of you.
He is silent for a while, he just took your hand in his, bringing them to his lips for a kiss. Then Jonathan looks at you, his eyes glowing red in the darkness.
'' I assure you, I will be fine. ''
You want to cry, just at the idea of him putting himself in danger willingly, to save the innocent people of London, what was the lost of one life right ?
But Jonathan was so important to you. He brought light into your life, witty exchange and discussion that could last hours. Jonathan was so ahead of his time, and you found a similar soul to you, you weren't alone anymore.
And now he wanted to leave, maybe facing his own death.
''Y/N I know you worry of what is going to happen. But I will be fine. '' Jonathan look you in the eyes, serious. '' I will come back to you. ''
You nod your head, unable to speak, choking down a sob. You look at Jonathan, the embodiment of pride and good will.
'' See you soon then. ''
Jonathan gets up. You stay sit on the sofa. You don't want to watch him leave. You hear his footsteps anyway. He's crossing the living room, and then He's gone.
You waited for hours, Jonathan was going to save evryone and get back home safe, he told you so.
So Why did you have this sick feeling, like you were about to lose him ?
'' Y/N ! ''
You rush at the door, despite the unfamiliar tone of the voice, and open it.
You look at the small man, he was wearing a doctor's white coat and glasses were perched on his nose. You saw him once at the Pembroke Hospital.
'' Dr Swansea ? ''
The man nod his head, and not wasting time, grab your arm and rush you towards the staircase.
'' We must hurry. '' he sounds breathless like he ran to your apartment. You stop walking, already sensing what was going on.
'' It's Jonathan isn't it ? Is He alright ? ''
Dr Swansea look a you with hesitation before answering. '' I'm afraid he doesn't have much time left. ''
The word seemed to slow down. For a second you tought you were going to hit the around, if not for De Swansea catching you.
Without saying a word, you rush to the car Dr Swansea came with, the ride to the Hospital is short, yet it seems like an eternity to you.
Your mind is filled with Jonathan when you get inside the Hospital.
'' He's in his office. ''
You don't question the Doctor about Why Jonathan would be there, you run until you get inside his office, and you see him.
Jonathan is lying on a bed, his eyes are closed and he is paler than usual. His hands are gripping the sheets thightly, visibly in pain. He was covered in blood, several open wounds gushing the precious liquid out of his body.
'' Oh Jonathan...- ''
You quickly go next to him, taking one of his hand in yours. He open his eyes when he hears your voice and smile.
'' My dear Y/N, you made it in time. ''
Tears start to run down your cheeks as you nod your head, saying while crying.
'' I'm so sorry, Jonathan, don't leave me please, don't. ''
He smile at you, a gentle, and weak smile.
'' I'm afraid I have no choice. '' He seem lucid enough to talk, but the increasing amount of blood tell you otherwise.
'' I can't lose you, I can't...- ''
You kneel next to his bed, still gripping his hand. Jonathan closes his eyes for a second and your heart almost stop.
'' It's alright. I'm fine, I'm going to see Mary now. '' You sob when Jonathan say that, you knew he was going to die, but you didn't want to say good-bye, not now. Not ever.
'' Please don't...- I love you, please. ''
Jonathan put his hand on your cheek, whispering '' From the moment I first laid my eyes on you, I knew I was going to love you. You made me human again Y/N, made me stay from the dark path I forged upon myself. ''
Jonathan's eyes are closed when he finally says :
'' Thank You. ''
The hand that was resting on your cheek fall down on the bed, and you frantically take it back, seeking his warmth, his voice.
'' Jonathan ? ''
You voice crack, and more tears start to fall when you ask again '' Jonathan ? ''
He's not answering and you can see that he's gone. He looked peaceful.
You scream in sorrow, tears still falling. Your soulmate was gone. You could never saw him smile again, argue with him about who snore at night.
He was gone.
Month after that, you were still just a shell of who you used to be. You couldn't live without him, everything was so dull and out of place.
You get up from the sofa, and pull out a picture of you and Jonathan you took month ago.
He was worried that he wouldn't be in the picture because of him being a vampyr, you wanted him to forget his worry so you made him laugh.
The photographer took the picture at the same time.
You were smiling, looking at Jonathan laughing whole heartedly.
You trace the picture with your fingertips.
'' I love you so much. But I'm so sad now. ''
