I just realized that “homeowner” has “meow” in the middle of it and now I can’t stop reading it as “ho-meow-ner”.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@heatrays
I just realized that “homeowner” has “meow” in the middle of it and now I can’t stop reading it as “ho-meow-ner”.
A single piece of corn is technically a unicorn
Dick pics are literally junk mail.
have i told you guys about the time that i classically conditioned my kindergarten class
I got like 4 anons asking about this so I guess I didn’t:
omg. okay, so basically, I was a “gifted kid” which was code for fucken nerd ass bitch, so i would constantly just stare off into space during class while everyone else was tryna figure out what the fuck our teacher was tryna say. Anyway, I was learning about chemistry and biology outside of school(i know what a fucking nerd amirite ladies), and my dad got me a book that talked about all these famous psychological experiments.
So chapter one was, would you have guessed it, Pavlov’s dog. I thought it my be fun to try something to that extent with my classmates. Now, keep in mind, being a nerdy ass brown kid in a school full of white ppl meant that I wasn’t exactly popular, and no one really talked to me in class or cared what I was doing.
Everyday, at 9:45 am, our teacher would announce that it was snacktime, and everyone would fucking sprint to their cubbies to grab their lunchboxes like it was the goddamn hunger games. Kindergarten kids didn’t really have a concept of time, so i used this to my advantage. At 9:45 as my teacher would walk up to announce snacktime, I would knock on my desk really quickly three times. It was rly subtle, and I wasn’t sure that it would work.
So after two or three weeks, I decided to have some fun. Thirty minutes after school began at like 8:30 or something, I tapped knocked on the desk. Half the class turned their heads and looked straight at the cubbies. 3 boys got up and were about to run to get their lunchbox. One girls stomach started growling REALLY loudly. The teacher had to take 5 minutes to get everyone to calm down and one kid started crying because he thought it was snacktime and he was so shocked and destroyed.
Realizing that I had basically dog trained the whole class, I burst out laughing so hard I fell out of my chair and cut my head on the tile floor and got sent home early because I was laughing so hard they thought I had a concussion or something. When I explained what happened to my dad he left the room, but I could hear him losing it in the hallway.
So everytime now that I learn about classical conditioning in my Neuroscience classes, I have to fight to keep a straight face
{I love bloggers} @ohareeba is my favorite creative blogger in the game. She is pioneering this. Her blog mag #bloglanders features other amazing bloggers. But to me her art is what rockets her to the top of the game. So inspiring. Makes me miss mixed media art so much. (I’ll get back into it this summer.) 😍 #younglifeguide
I want a “just checking in” kind of love.
a “baby did you eat today?” kind of love.
a “you’re the first person I told” kind of love.
an “I gotta kiss you before you leave” kind of love
an “I love you” before we say bye kind of love.
an “I noticed that you need this so I got it for you” kind of love.
a “we’re not going to bed til we’ve made up” kind of love.
a wipe my tears away kind of love.
a nonstop joke fest until I smile again kind of love.
a goofy smile when I walk in the room kind of love.
a hold me until my panic attack passes kind of love.
a rub my back after work kind of love.
I just want to feel completely, totally, truly loved.
Luckily I have this ✌️
this is totally what adulthood feels like tho
you’re really cute and its ruining my life because i think about kissing you all the time
i’m the type of person which makes direct eye contact and pays extra attention to you when you’re telling a story and everyone’s talking over you so that you don’t get discouraged
modern day romeo and juliet
Fucking traitors
A Friendly Reminder
- Deadpool is insecure - Deadpool has chronic pain - Deadpool is submissive in bed - Deadpool is pansexual - Deadpool lifts up his mask so Hawkeye can read his lips - Deadpool is a blonde - Deadpool’s initials are WWW - Deadpool had an abusive father - Deadpool’s mother died from cancer - Deadpool fell in love with a teenager - Deadpool left her because he didn’t want to hurt her - Deadpool had a daughter - Deadpool didn’t believe she was his because she was too beautiful - Deadpool had to be dragged away from his daughter’s dead body by Cap and Wolverine - Deadpool carries Hello Kitty band aids - Deadpool is good with kids - Deadpool can’t be killed by Ghost Rider because he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong - Deadpool hates himself - Deadpool used to curl up in a ball and mumble about his skin hurting - Deadpool is married to the queen of the undead - Deadpool reads his own comics
Conclusion: Wade Winston Wilson is a beautiful man who must be protected.
Let’s not forget: - Deadpool knows sign language - Deadpool took a bullet for Hawkeye because Clint can’t regenerate but he can - Deadpool has tried to kill himself numerous times before - Deadpool turned his back on DEATH ITSELF to help his fellow inmates escape The Farm - Deadpool spent months trying to save Cable - Deadpool was in turn saved by Cable numerous times - Seriously, freaking Jesus-messiah-complex Cable saw something in Deadpool worth saving - Deadpool is a beautiful, wonderfully complex character that I will fight to protect
- Deadpool and Cable refer to the end of their friendship as “our divorce” - Deadpool bought diapers for Hope - Deadpool has a dog - Deadpool didn’t become like his dad - Deadpool is a good person
- Deadpool spends all his money on ammo and pain meds
- Deadpool is broke 75% of the time
- Deadpool tells kids that he’s Spider-Man
- Deadpool refused to look at Spider-Man’s face when he swapped costumes with him because “bros don’t out bros” - Deadpool did work in the Spider-Man suit, but REFUSED TO KILL while wearing the Spider-Man suit because Peter wouldn’t have killed and he didn’t want Peter’s rep to be linked to murder.
Deadpool!
I LOVE DEADPOOL!!
Or how much have you learned from a short wise man?
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@carefullyshameless
We’ll figure it out.
“Who’s your favourite Disney Princess?”
THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST
Legit me