You Really Are An Ugly Crier
I didn’t think I’d be crying but this pain keeps bringing back memories of your smile, of how stupidly laud you laugh at the most simple things, of how we’d talk about that ugly dress your boss always seemed to wear, or all those times you told me I was both the ugliest and yet prettiest girl you’ve ever seen and even all those times I’d mock that big crooked nose of yours, that always steals away the beauty of your cute innocent smile.
You know your mother was right. She was right about me. You were always too good for me. Both of us knew that. You were always such a genuine caring person…as for me…I’m not much more than a born villain. I’ve been feeding off you kindness and that’s what hurts me the most. Seeing you so lost, desperate, not knowing what else to do or how else to help me…just like now.
I don’t want to hurt you anymore. You are the most precious thing in me.
I’ve spent my life regretting every little thing, every other step I gave but there is not one second I regret spending with you. Not when we’d fight, not when I’d call you all I knew hurt you so much. I cannot regret you.
If you allow me to be selfish one more time. Would you please let go of my wrists? It hurts me too much seeing that ugly face you make when you cry. Please God…if I can be selfish one last time. Please make sure he doesn’t stay mad for too long, you were never meant to be anything else but happy. Please make him forget me. I don’t want to see you in my grave. I don’t want you to share more thoughts of me. Stop calling my name, please! I’d be happier if you’d forget all about me. I don’t want to be the reason for your tears, not anymore. So please just know you were the most beautiful thing in my life, even if all I did was ruin yours. - A.F