Laika (Lye-KA) Mae is my name. I sometimes go by Luna online since Lunar is my last name.
I have multiple tattoos and piercings, my favorite tattoo being haku from spirited away.
20 years of age, almost 21!
I work at a nursing home currently ✨ Cna, but would like to switch to nursing at some point.
Favorite bands: Bad omens, Sleep Token, BMTH, Sabrina Carpenter, PVRIS, Maggie Lindemann, From Indiana Lakes, Too Close To Touch, Dayshell, The Dear Hunter.
Favorite Color: Blue and purple.
I love to dye my hair, its currently grey.
Addicted to candy.
Almost 21 and still an emo.
Hobbies: Drawing, reading, Hardcore gamer.
Video games: Dead By Daylight, Silent Hill, Fortnite, Resident Evil, Pokemon, Persona series, FFXIV, Harvest Moon, Honkai Impact 3rd (day one player 🥹), Genshin, Rollercoaster tycoon, Monster hunter series, Ghost Master, Left4dead, Back4blood, Tales series, Dragon Age 2, etc.
Pets: I have one dog, who is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Hes over a year old. I would love to have a jumping spider and a snake.
Love to watch anime and read manga.
Fears: Fireworks, I have Submechanophobia (animatronics in water FREAK me out), Heights, Dentists.
An: I’m gonna tell you guys a secret. Theo and I have the same dream job. 😂 Thank you guys for continuing to read. I really like this chapter. I hope you guys do too.
“Whatcha doin’ over there, beautiful?” you call over your shoulder. You’d been too caught up rinsing dishes to notice what Theo was up to. You slide the last plate into the dishwasher, wipe your hands on the towel, and walk over to her.
She’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, remote in hand, brows furrowed at the TV like she’s cracking the code. “What’s Noah’s band called?” she sighs with frustration. “It starts with a b, right?”
“Bad Omens,” you say, squatting beside her. “Do you want help?”
Theo nods, dramatic and defeated. “I was trying to find his music.”
“Okay, we gotta go to YouTube.” You point to the left side of the screen. “Use that arrow… yep, that one. Now go up. Good. Now you can spell the band name. Can you sound it out, or do you want Mom’s help?”
“Help, please,” she whines, leaning into you like the world is too heavy.
You smile and guide her finger across the letters. “Perfect. Now you get to pick which song.”
“Noah!” she squeals, jabbing her finger at one of the thumbnails.
“You want that one?” you ask, raising a brow.
“Yeah! Noah has pretty hair in that one. And Jolly’s got a ponytail.” She lifts her own hair halfway up, proudly mimicking him.
“Okay, but I don’t know if you know this version. It’s just Noah and Jolly—singing and guitar, I think.” You stand and hit play.
Theo tilts her head back, eyes glued to the screen, already mesmerized. You sink onto the couch, watching her sway side to side like she’s feeling every note.
The moment is too perfect not to share. You grab your phone, hit record, and catch the exact second Noah appears on screen.
Theo gasps, points wildly, and squeals, “It’s Noah, Mommy!” you try not to ruin the video with your giggles.
You know he’s going to melt when he sees this.
Your phone buzzes a few minutes after you send the video.
Straight to the heart.
You barely have time to smile before the typing bubbles appear again… then disappear… then come back. Classic Noah, he had too many feelings at once.
A moment later, your screen lights up with a voice message.
You press play.
There’s a soft breath first, like he wasn’t ready for what he just saw.
Then his voice, low and sincere, “Jesus… she’s so cute.”
Another pause. You can practically picture him running a hand over his face, trying to hide the smile even though no one’s there to see it.
“I wasn’t expecting her to squeal like that,” he says, and you can hear the grin creeping in. “She pointed at the screen like I was a superhero or something.”
There’s a quiet laugh, “I don’t think anyone’s ever been that excited to see my face.”
You hear rustling, like he’s shifting on his bunk, probably staring at the ceiling with that soft look he gets when he’s overwhelmed in a good way.
“She looks so happy,” he murmurs. “And she’s swaying to the music. That’s… I don’t know. That’s everything.”
Another breath. This one is deeper.
“And you…” His voice dips, softer. “You sound happy too. I miss your little giggles, I needed that.” There’s a beat where he almost says something else, something heavier…but he swallows it back. “Tell her I said hi,” he finishes, voice a little shy. “And that I miss her.” Then silence.
A second message pops up immediately after:
…and you. I miss you too. Let’s FaceTime this evening. I’ve got a little bit of time. I wanna see you two.
You smile down at the screen before typing back.
We miss you too. Tell me when and we’ll be there.
Oh and enjoy this picture of princes.
You smile at the photo, Noah’s face squished against Princess’s, his grin wide and ridiculous, the kind that makes you laugh out loud. “Theo,” you call softly, “Noah sent another picture.”
She spins around, eyes lighting up. “Ohh!” She toddles over, hopping onto the couch beside you. “Let me see!”
You hand her the phone, and she leans against you, giggling as she studies the picture. “Mommy?” she says, her voice small and thoughtful.
You glance down. “Yes?”
“I miss Noah… and Princess.”
Your heart squeezes. You wrap your arm around her, pulling her close until her head rests against your shoulder. “He misses us too, babe,” you whisper, smiling at the screen one more time before setting the phone aside. You don’t want to tell Theo about the FaceTime call, just in case something comes up with Noah. The last thing either one of you wants to do is break her heart.
She needs me too.
You stare down at the message, the words pulsing like they’re trying to crawl under your skin. Don’t overreact. Don’t lose your shit. Stay calm. He wants a reaction…he always wants a reaction. Breathe. Not today.
You set your phone down in the grass. The sun is warm on your shoulders, the air smells like summer chalk dust, and Theo is sprawled on the sidewalk beside you, happy as can be. Her arms are coated in pink and blue streaks, her shirt a full-blown abstract masterpiece.
“Look!” she announces, pointing proudly at the drawing she’s been working on with fierce concentration.
You crawl over to her, leaving your phone abandoned in the yard where it can’t touch this moment. “Ooooh, that’s so pretty, baby,” you say, letting your voice soften, letting her pull you back into the world that actually matters. “You should put a cloud at the bottom of the rainbow.”
Theo gasps like you’ve just given her the secret to the universe. “A cloud,” she repeats, already grabbing the white chalk. Her fingers move fast, determined, confident.
And as she draws, you sit there watching her, this tiny person who trusts you, who laughs with her whole body, who doesn’t know how heavy adults can make things.
You want to keep her like this forever…knees dusty, fingers stained with chalk, heart unbruised by people who don’t deserve to touch it. Safe from the world, and especially from the dad who pretends to care when it suits him.
“Theo?” you ask softly.
Her eyes flick up to you, bright and curious, pausing mid‑scribble like she’s hitting a mental save button.
“What do you wanna be when you grow up?” you ask. Not because you expect a final answer, she’s five, her dreams change with the weather, but because you want to peek inside that little mind of hers, see what colors she’s painting her future with today.
She shrugs, already returning to her rainbow. “I like animals. I think I should be a veterinarian. But I like to sing, so maybe I can be a singing veterinarian.” She says it with complete seriousness, like this is a perfectly logical career path.
A smile tugs at your mouth. “That sounds like a great plan.” You push your hair behind your ears, watching her with that familiar mix of pride and fear, pride because she’s brilliant and imaginative, fear because the world doesn’t deserve her softness.
Theo pauses again, tapping her chalk against the pavement. “Do you think animals like singing?” she asks, head tilted.
“I think the right ones would,” you say. “Especially if you’re the one singing.”
She beams at that, then she leans forward, adding a tiny cloud exactly where you suggested, humming under her breath as she works.
And for a moment, just a moment…you let yourself believe you can hold onto this. This quiet, innocent moment. This version of her that still believes every dream is possible and every goodbye is temporary.
Noah sat outside the bus, enjoying his break and getting some sun before the big show tonight. He patiently waited, phone in hand, waiting for you to answer the call, but much to his surprise, it wasn’t you who answered. It was Theo smiling back at him.
“Hi, Noah!” she squealed. “I answered ’cause Mommy’s hands are wet. We made cookies, and Mom said we made a huge mess. I don’t think it’s that messy, but I got flour all over the floor… and then I wiped my hands on my shirt.” She tilted the phone down proudly, showing off the powdered streaks across her black shirt.
Before Noah could even get a word in, she was off again, her words tumbling out in a rush. “I was listening to your band earlier! I wish I could scream like you. That would be so funny! Then we could scream together.” She giggled, then added with a shy smile, “Maybe I can get drawings on my arms too, I wanna be like you!”
Noah laughed, the sound soft, but he melted at his core. Theo saying she wanted to be like him meant so much more than he could ever express. He would try to be the best role model he could. “You’d look pretty cool with drawings on your arms,” he said, leaning back against the bus. “But maybe wait till you’re a little older, yeah?”
“YES!” You yelled from the kitchen, “No tattoos till your frontal lobe has developed.”
Theo shrugged. “I don’t know what that means.”
He grinned, changing the subject. “Hey, I bet your cookies are way better than mine. You’ll have to save me one next time.”
Her eyes lit up. “I’ll save you two!”
Noah chuckled, shaking his head. “Deal. Two cookies sound perfect, maybe you can teach me and I’ll clean up instead of mom.”
“Alright, Theo, can I talk to Noah for a minute?” you ask, drying your hands on the kitchen towel. “I think all I’ve done today is dishes—Mom deserves a reward.” You tease, flashing her a grin.
Theo’s face scrunches in protest, clearly reluctant to give up the phone. She sighs dramatically. “Bye, Noah. I miss you!” she says, handing it over before darting back to the living room, her cartoon already calling her name.
“I miss you more!” Noah calls after her.
When your face appears on the screen, his expression softens instantly. The exhaustion from tour life fades just a little. Even through the distance, you have that effect on him. “Hey, beautiful,” he says, his grin wide and toothy.
“Well, hello there.” You start toward your room, craving a bit of quiet for the conversation. “How’s everything going?”
He shrugs, leaning back against the bus. “It’s good, but I’m tired. Haven’t been sleeping much. Feeling a little down, but…” he smiles faintly, “the show must go on.”
You nod, settling onto the edge of the bed. “You always make it look easy.”
He chuckles softly, eyes flicking toward the camera. “Only because I’ve got you keeping me sane. Now, fill me in, what’s been happening since I’ve been gone these last four days?”
“Drama, I’ll spare you,” you mutter, belly-flopping onto the bed with a sigh.
“No,” Noah says, his tone gentle but firm. “Tell me all of it. Catch me up.” A small smile tugs at his lips. “I’ve got time.”
You stare at the ceiling for a moment, debating how much to share. “Jason’s been asking to see Theo more,” you begin, voice heavy with frustration. “And I don’t feel like it’s the right thing for her…but legally, I can’t hold her hostage, you know?” You exhale, rubbing your forehead. “He gets her every other weekend if he really wants to. I guess I should be happy he’s only willing to take her for a day or two.”
You glance at the screen. Noah’s expression has already hardened, his jaw tight with annoyance.
“He asked if I wanted to go with them,” you continue, “so I could see that he’s ‘trying.’”
Noah rolls his eyes, disgust clear in his voice. “Why is he trying now?”
You hesitate, then say quietly, “Theo was talking to him on the phone, rattling off words like she always does. I heard her mention how much she misses you, and that I miss you.” You close your eyes, trying not to let the anger rise again. “I think he’s jealous. Now he wants to play dad again, just so he can tell everyone he’s a good father and that there isn’t a better man helping me raise her.”
You roll onto your back, holding the phone above your face. “Then Theo got excited, she was so happy he wanted to do something with just her. It gets her hopes up, but I know later it’s gonna turn into tears and heartbreak.”
Noah’s silence stretches for a moment, his eyes softening. “You’re doing everything right, even when it’s hard. That’s what matters.”
You smile faintly, blinking back the sting in your eyes. “Yeah, well… it doesn’t always feel like it.”
He shakes his head, leaning closer to the camera. “Hey. You’re the strongest person I know. Theo’s lucky to have you, and I’m damn lucky too. I hate that I’m not there to help.”
Your chest tightens. “You help more than you think,” you whisper.
Noah smiles, soft and sincere. “Then I’ll keep doing that. Even from a thousand miles away”
You pulled up to the curb, your stomach fluttering with nerves you didn’t want to admit. The tour bus loomed ahead, gleaming in the afternoon sun, surrounded by unfamiliar faces hauling gear and pacing between the house and the bus. And then you saw him…Noah, standing, shoulders tense, brow furrowed, looking every bit the man trying to hold it together.
“You ready?” you asked, twisting in your seat to see Theo grinning ear to ear. She clapped her hands together, pure excitement bubbling out of her. You laughed, and climbed out of the car to unbuckle her.
As you rounded the car, Theo in your arms, you whispered, “Go get Noah.”
You set her down on the grass, and she didn’t hesitate, her little legs pumping as fast as they could carry her. Noah spotted her instantly, his expression softening, the stress melting away as a smile spread across his face. He crouched down, arms open wide, ready for impact.
Theo launched herself into him, and he caught her easily, lifting her off the ground and squeezing her tight. “You made it!” he said, nuzzling her nose with his, swaying her side to side.
You trailed a few steps behind, watching the two of them, the way Theo’s laughter filled the air, the way Noah’s whole body seemed to relax just holding her. When he finally looked up and saw you, his smile deepened. He shifted Theo onto his hip and opened his free arm, wordlessly inviting you in.
You stepped into him, into that familiar warmth, and he wrapped his arm around you both, pulling you close until you could feel his heartbeat against your shoulder.
“How are my girls today?” he murmured.
Theo pressed her cheek against his. “Happy, but sad…cause your leaving.”
You looked up at him, eyes catching his, and for a moment everything else… the bus, the noise, the people? It all faded away. It was just the three of you, tangled together in a goodbye that felt too big for words.
He kissed the top of Theo’s head, then leaned down just enough for his forehead to rest against yours. “Thank you for coming,” he whispered.
“Duh,” You tease, “Can’t let Theo not say goodbye.”
“Oh, and you didn’t want to say goodbye?” Noah teased, his voice soft but knowing. He gave you that look, the one that said he could read you better than you wanted him to. “Come on, I want you to meet the other two.”
He didn’t set Theo down. Instead, he shifted her higher on his hip and guided you toward the open front door, his hand resting lightly on your lower back, a quiet reassurance that even in the chaos of leaving, he still saw you.
Inside, the living room buzzed with quiet activity. Three men sat scattered around, fiddling with cords, boxes, and equipment, a tangle of wires and metal that looked more like a puzzle than instruments.
“Theo!” Jolly exclaimed, looking up from a mess of cables. “Any pop quizzes today?”
Theo scrunched her nose, shyly tucking her face into the crook of Noah’s neck.
“I guess not,” Noah laughed, rubbing her back. “Hey,” he whispered to her, “you don’t gotta be shy.”
You brushed a strand of hair from her forehead, and she peeked out just enough to meet your eyes. Then, with a little sigh, she reached her arms toward you. You took her, her small hands clutching your shoulders as she buried her face against your neck.
“Well,” Noah said, gesturing toward the group, “this is Nick — he’s our drummer.” He pointed to the shorter man with a quick grin. “And this is Nicholas, our bass player.”
“Nice to meet you,” you said, offering a small wave.
Theo peeked up again, studying the two men with a furrowed brow. “You’ve got the same name.” She shrugged, her voice small but curious.
You felt her wiggle in your arms, her silent signal that she wanted down. You set her gently on the floor, and she toddled toward the couch where Jolly was sitting.
“Hi,” she said, looking up at him.
“Hi,” Jolly replied, smiling as he continued to untangle a cord. Theo watched him intently, then reached out to help, her fingers clumsy but determined.
Noah chuckled, his hand brushing your arm as he stepped closer. “So,” he said, voice low, “now you’ve met everyone.”
“Yep, and that’s the last cord, last box — we just gotta load up and get the fuck outta here,” Nick announced, clapping his hands together.
Your eyes shot to Theo. Her mouth fell open, eyes wide in shock. “You shouldn’t say that word,” she scolded, her tone serious. “One time my dad said that, and Mommy yelled at him.” She turned to you, brows furrowed. “Are you gonna get him in trouble too?”
You bit back a laugh, glancing at Nick, who looked caught between apologizing and laughing. “I don’t know, Theo,” you said, smiling.
Nick threw his hands up in surrender, grinning. “Alright, alright, sorry, Mom,” he joked, dramatically trudging to the corner of the room. He folded his arms and faced the wall. “I won’t do it again.”
Theo giggled, pointing. “Mommy, he said sorry!”
Noah smirked as Nick turned back to the group, still laughing. He crouched down in front of Theo, his voice playful but sincere. “I’m not used to being around little princesses,” he said. “I’ll try my best to be worthy of your presence.”
Theo’s grin widened as he ruffled her hair, and Noah laughed in approval. “Thank you,” he said, shaking his head.
Noah’s eyes shift to Theo, “You wanna go see the bus?”
Theo nodded eagerly and hopped off the couch, practically sprinting toward the front door. You laughed, following her outside as she bounded across the grass toward the massive tour bus gleaming in the afternoon light.
Theo didn’t hesitate when Noah opened the door, she climbed the steps like she’d done it a hundred times before. You moved to follow, but Noah’s hand caught yours, stopping you just outside.
“Theo!” he called, his voice carrying easily. “Go look in the back… middle bunk!”
She disappeared inside, her laughter echoing faintly from the bus. You turned back to him, brows raised in curiosity, but he didn’t give you time to ask.
He stepped closer, his hand coming up to cup your face, thumb brushing your cheek. He softly leaned in gently pressing his lips to yours. You froze for a heartbeat, then melted into him, your hands finding his chest, you’d never grow tired of his touch
You both broke apart, laughing softly. Noah’s thumb brushed your cheek one last time as he looked into your eyes, his smile tender. “Guess she found her surprise.”
You shook your head, still smiling. “Thank you for not doing that in front of her.”
He grinned, and you gave his chest a playful push. “Go on, lover boy,show me the bus.”
Before he could respond, Jolly’s voice echoed from around the side of the bus. “Yeah, lover boy, show her!” He smirked, hauling a bags in his arms. “Is it safe to start loading things?”
You laughed, cheeks warm. “Let me grab Theo out first,” you said, already heading toward the steps. “She will go through your things.”
Noah chuckled behind you, shaking his head. “She’s got your curiosity.”
Inside, Theo was perched on the middle bunk, her little hands exploring every pillow and blanket like she was inspecting treasure. “It’s so cozy!” she said, bouncing lightly.
You leaned against the doorway, watching her with a smile. “Alright, explorer, time to let the band get to work.”
Theo pouted but slid off the bunk hugging Princess one more time, “Be good for Noah.” She says, placing the unicorn back on Noah’s pillow. Noah scooped her up, brushing her nose with his. “You can come back and visit the bus anytime,” he promised.
Theo nodded solemnly. “Only if Mommy comes too.”
You laughed, heart full, as Noah looked at you over her shoulder, the somber smile that said he was already missing you both before he’d even left. “Alright, Theo, as much as I’d love to hold Noah hostage we need to let him go.”
Noah gently set Theo on her feet. She looked up at him with those big, sad eyes, and you winced, already knowing what was coming. Her lips trembled, her breathing hitched, and before you could say anything, the tears came.
She lifted her arms toward him, desperate, and Noah couldn’t say no. “Okay,” he murmured, scooping her back up. “I’ll walk you guys to the car, how about that?”
Theo nodded, sniffling, and tucked her head into the crook of his neck, her fingers clutching his T-shirt. You followed them down the stairs, the sound of her quiet hiccups echoing softly behind you.
Outside, the air was warm and still. The guys were waiting near the bus, pausing their work long enough to wave and call out their goodbyes to Theo. She managed a small wave back, her cheek still pressed against Noah’s shoulder.
At the car, Noah gave her one last squeeze before setting her gently in her seat. He buckled her in, brushing a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I’ll be home soon,” he promised, his voice steady. “I’ll send Mom all the pictures with Princess so she can show you, okay?”
Theo nodded, her eyes glassy but calmer now. “Okay,” she whispered.
You climbed into the front seat, rolling the window down as Noah shut the door. He leaned in through the open window, wrapping you in a hug that lingered just long enough to make your chest ache.
He pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’ll see you soon.”
You nodded, your voice barely above a whisper. “I miss you already.”
“I miss you too,” he said, his smile soft but heavy, the kind that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
From the bus, one of the guys called out, “Noah, c’mon man, we gotta go!”
Noah drummed his fingers lightly on the car door, reluctant to step away. “Alright,” he said finally, exhaling. “I’ll see you in two weeks.”
You smiled faintly. “We’ll be here.”
He gave a small nod, then turned toward the bus. Theo’s voice piped up behind you, muffled through the window. “Bye, Noah!”
He looked back one last time, his grin breaking through the sadness. “Bye, baby girl!”
And as he climbed aboard, you felt your chest tighten. ‘Hold it together,’ you thought, ‘it's only two weeks.’
Jolly sat up front with Nick and Nicholas, the three of them trading jokes and half‑serious arguments about god knows what, probably music gear or bad diner coffee. The bus rumbled beneath them, tires rolling steady against the road.
Between laughs, Jolly’s eyes drifted toward the bunks. Noah was still stretched out in his, one arm tucked behind his head, staring out the window.
Jolly stood, stretching, and wandered back. He crouched beside the bunk, “What’s up, dude?”
Noah turned his head, slow, eyes heavy. No smile, no spark, just quiet. “Tired.”
Jolly smirked. “You miss them?”
Noah didn’t answer right away. He reached for the stuffed unicorn sitting beside him, lifting it in the air like Rafiki presenting Simba to the world. “I never thought a stuffed animal would bring me joy,” he said, finally cracking a smile.
Jolly laughed, shaking his head. “Man, you’ve gone soft.”
Noah shrugged, still smiling faintly. “Yeah.”
The bus rattled over a bump, and Jolly clapped him on the shoulder before heading back to the front. “Don’t worry, Lover Boy…two weeks’ll fly by.”
Noah leaned back again, the unicorn tucked against his chest, and watched the world pass by, every mile taking him farther from home, but somehow closer to you.
Noah slowly rolled out of his bunk unicorn in hand as he walked to the front of the bus where every one sat, “I need a favor.”
All eyes drifted to the sparkling unicorn in Noah’s hand, then back to his face. For a moment, the bus went quiet, the kind of silence that teeters between confusion and laughter.
Nicholas was the first to crack. “Uh… what’s up, man? And what’s with that?” He pointed at the stuffed animal like he’d never seen one before.
Noah sighed dramatically. “I made a promise to Theo, and I can’t break it.” He pulled out his phone. “Now, I need everyone to bunch up and take a selfie with her stuffed animal.”
Nick blinked. “WHAT?” He burst out laughing.
“Just do it,” Jolly said, already grinning. “It’s for a kid. First picture of the tour… and there’ll be more. Get used to it. She’ll probably be on stage next time.”
Noah half‑smiled, nodding. “See he get’s. It’s really not that hard.”
The guys groaned but stood up, crowding around him. Jolly grabbed Noah’s phone, angling it for the perfect shot. “Alright, on three. One, two, three!”
He snapped a photo of Noah holding Princess proudly to his chest, then another of Nicholas cradling her like a newborn while Jolly made a ridiculous face in the background. Nick topped it off by balancing the unicorn on the brim of his hat.
The bus erupted in laughter. They huddled around the phone, scrolling through the pictures, each one funnier than the last.
“Okay, I'll take it back,” Nick said between laughs. “She’s kinda a star.”
“She’s gonna love these,” Noah said, smiling down at his phone. “I gotta send them.”
Nicholas leaned back in his seat, smirking. “Honestly, I think those are Bad Omens Instagram worthy.”
Jolly snorted. “Yeah, nothing says metal like a unicorn named Princess.”
Noah laughed, shaking his head. “Hey, don’t knock it.”
Nick raised his hand. “Speak for yourself, Lover Boy.” He taunted.
“Alright can we all fuck off with the Lover Boy shit?”
“Hell NO!” Nicholas laughed.
Noah rolled his eyes scrolling through his phone to find your name. He pressed send and waited for your response, hoping you’d send a selfie back
He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his mouth when your name lit up his screen. The photo loaded first, you and Theo standing in front of your house, both absolutely coated in chalk dust like you’d mistaken the sidewalk for full‑body art supplies.
A second message buzzed through.
Theo loved the pictures you sent… guess you’ll live to see another day.
His laugh slipped out before he could stop it, thumb brushing over the screen like he could feel the moment through it.
series summary: after many failed relationships, you made a pact with the love of your life your best friend on the night before he moved away, that if you were both still single when you turned thirty, you'd give a relationship with him a second chance. ten years pass and life takes you on completely different paths- he's now one of the worlds biggest new rockstars, and you unexpectedly became a single mother. you swore to yourself that you'd never let someone into your sons life if they didn't plan on staying, so you're left having to ask yourself whether a man whose life is spent on the road can ever be the steady presence your little boy needs at home // this is the story i teased here and here
series warnings: the usual with my fics, each chapter will have it's own warnings. there'll be smut, alcohol use, i'm british so i use the word "mum" lmao (but noah will refer to reader as a "mom" when he does, along with any other canonically (?) american characters in the story because otherwise i'll imagine them with my accent)
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ similar to: echoes of night- @httpconcrete truly yours- @jennay
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ join the taglist
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Chapter One coming soon...
[i am very aware this pretty similar to so many other fics out there that i've read and i have tried so hard to search for them because i would like to link some similar stories!! so if you have written a similar story (or know someone who has) please don't hesitate to reach out and let me know!🫶]
A/N: I cried like a mofo writing this, I apologize if you do too.
Warnings: Death, blood, grief, and a very very sad funeral.
Chapter Eight
The next day wasn’t easy for Noah. Ruffilo’s family had his body flown back to Virginia where the funeral would be held and now Noah and the guys had to pack for yet another trip back. Noah wasn’t looking forward to the funeral, he knew it would be hard on him.
Noah hadn’t exactly experienced many funerals except for one in particular, in which his friend’s name was tattooed on each of his hands. As Noah began to pack his bags for the trip back to Virginia, he suddenly remembered Lacy, and remembered that he was going to have to tell her that he was leaving for a few days. He didn’t want to leave her, but he knew he had to for Nick.
As Noah zipped up his final bag and sat it on the floor beside his bedroom door, he sighed, glancing down the hall towards Ruffilo’s bedroom door. It was closed, probably Jolly or Folio had closed it. He could see that it was hard on them too to have lost Ruffilo. When Noah would lay awake at night, he could hear the quiet sobs through the walls at night from different parts of the house. He could see the red rimmed eyes in the morning and hear the raw throat in their voices. If one thing was for certain, it was that Ruffilo was loved, and loved hard.
Noah walked across the street over to Jud’s to tell Lacy his goodbyes. He was nervous as he remembered what time it was, he thought maybe Lacy was still in class. He wouldn’t have another opportunity to tell her goodbye as they were having to leave within the hour. He tapped his foot on the wood of the porch impatiently as he knocked on the door, his heart rate picking up slightly as he heard footsteps approaching on the other side.
Jud opened the door, his face lighting up when he saw Noah.
”Noah! My boy, what a surprise. Come in,” Jud said, stepping aside to let Noah in. Noah stepped inside and Jud motioned towards the kitchen. “Come, have a beer would ya? I owe you one, you know…for your troubles.” Jud said and Noah followed Jud into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
”Thank you,” Noah said as Jud handed him a beer. Usually, Noah would decline, but today, he felt like he would need this one.
”Sorry for your loss son,” Jud spoke up. “I know it’s hard, especially when it’s someone close to you like that. Lacy told me what happened and I…I can’t imagine.” Jud said as he sat across from Noah, popping the cap off the top of the bottle.
”It still seems like I’m in a bad dream that I can’t wake up from. I mean, it was all so surreal…and I saw him…he’s still here.” Noah said, running his hand over his face and Jud gave a small smile.
”The dead linger, he won’t let you forget him.” Jud said and Noah sighed.
”I keep dreaming of him and that god damned pet cemetery behind the house. It’s so weird. Like, I’m sleepwalking. He wakes me up, he takes me there, he tells me not to go past the creepy ass deadfall of trees in the back and then I tell him I want to wake up, and then I do.” Noah rants, his eyes never focusing on anything in particular and Jud ceases all movement at Noah’s words.
”He…tells you not to go there? What an odd dream…” Jud mutters, eyes never meeting Noah’s as he shakily takes a sip of his beer.
”Yeah, it’s strange. Oh, I forgot why I even came over here, I’m sorry.” Noah said, standing from his seat. “I came to tell Lacy goodbye. We’re leaving for Virginia in a bit and I didn’t want you guys to think we just disappeared.” Noah said and Jud smirked to himself.
”You and Lacy got close, have ya?” He asked and Noah glanced over at him, trying not to smile.
”You could say that…” Noah trailed off and Jud grinned.
”You don’t got to hide it from me, boy. I knew the minute she laid eyes on you, you were gonna be the trouble. That’s alright, I know you’re a good boy.” Jud sighed, leaning back in his chair. “She’s out back I think. Messing with something for that damn cat that I told her no chance on. I’ve told her for all of time, we live in too dangerous of a spot. That cat gets out, he’s done for if he gets ballsy enough to try and cross.” Jud shook his head and Noah chuckled.
”I’ll be sure she keeps him confined. Thanks again, for the beer.” Noah said, tipping the bottle back and finishing it off before tossing it into the garbage can.
”See you when you get back son, safe travels.” Jud waved Noah off as Noah went out the back door.
Lacy was in fact not doing anything related to Jonas. She was out back, sitting cross legged on the wooden deck, a sketchbook in her lap and her phone beside her, blasting music while she drew. The sound of the door creaking as Noah closed it softly behind him tore her attention away from the book and she glanced over her shoulder at Noah. When she saw it was him she grinned and scrambled to her feet, placing the sketchbook and pencil on the deck beside her. She jumped up and ran to Noah, throwing her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, burying his nose in her soft blonde hair.
”Noah, what are you doing here?” She asked, turning her head slightly to move her face away from his shirt.
”I stopped by to come tell you bye. Me and the guys gotta go back to Virginia for a few days for the funeral.” Noah said and Lacy pulled away, bending down to grab her phone off the deck. She paused the music and handed Noah her phone.
”I need your number. I won’t survive the next few days without bothering you about something.” She joked and Noah smiled, taking her phone and creating a contact for himself.
”What are you going to use for my contact picture?” He asked with a smirk and she shrugged.
”I don’t know. I was thinking something like a duck because sometimes you make this face…” She teased and he scoffed, rolling his eyes.
”I do not! I can’t believe you’d say that to me.” He crossed his arms with a pout and she laughed.
”You’re kinda doing it right now.” She muttered and he looked down at the phone before opening the camera app.
”Well how about I get an actual contact picture that isn’t something stupid?” He suggested and she nodded.
Noah wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, resting his cheek on top of her head. She smiled up at the camera and Noah smiled too, almost too mesmerized by her beauty to take the photo. He snapped the photo and made it his contact picture, along with sending it to himself in a text message.
”There, I like that picture.” He smirked and she took the phone from him, smiling down at the picture.
”Me too, it’s my new favorite.” She beamed and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
”I’d love to stay and stare at your beautiful face all day but we’ve got to get going. Take care of our son while I’m gone, yeah?” He teased and she nodded.
”Of course I will, what kind of mother would I be?” She scoffed and he chuckled.
”Just have to make sure.” He said before she stood on her tiptoes, grabbing him by the collar of the shirt and pulling him down to her, kissing him roughly. Noah was surprised, but he closed his eyes and kissed her back.
She pulled away and reached up, resting her hand on Noah’s cheek before smiling.
”Have a safe trip. I’ll be waiting for you to get back.” She said quietly and Noah smiled back at her.
”I will.” He said before releasing her and turning away. He began to walk away but stopped and turned back to her. “Oh…and Lacy?” He said and she raised an eyebrow.
”Yeah?”
”Thank you…for being here for me. You’ve made this a lot better and easier on me.” Noah said and she gave him a nod.
”It’s all I can do.” She said and he gave her a wink before walking away.
The trip to Virginia was a long and undesired trip back. Usually travel was fun to the guys and they made the best of it. But this time, without Ruffilo in the mix, it was chaos. The guys barely spoke, no one was happy and knowing what the end result of the trip was, they were all dreading it.
The day of the funeral was by far the worst. When the guys all arrived for the visitation, they were met by the closed casket with the abundance of flowers on top, photos of Ruffilo and other flower arrangements surrounding. Ruffilo’s family and friends were crammed within the tight space of the small funeral home, many people crying and sharing memories with each other.
Jolly and Folio were met by Ruffilo’s aunt that had spoke with Noah when Ruffilo first died. She threw her arms around the two boys, crying and holding them, but Noah didn’t seem to notice. For some reason, he was drawn immediately to the casket at the front of the room.
His eyes locked onto it, the sounds from the room drowned out completely. He could hear his own heartbeat in his ears as he slowly approached the casket. It was a darker wood that was very shiny in the light. The flowers were a deep red with white mixed in throughout. The deep red reminded Noah of all the blood that he saw from Ruffilo that day, the image permanently burned into his brain. Noah walked up and reached out, placing his hand on top of the casket.
The wood was cold to the touch, the scent of the flowers and something that Noah automatically associated with death filling his nose. Maybe funeral homes just had a smell to them, but this was something that he imagined was coming from the body inside. He rubbed his fingers along the top gently, the urge to open it and hold his friend strongly taking over him. His eyes darted down to the latch on the side and he swallowed hard, removing his hand from the top and letting it drop to his side. He clenched his fist, his fingers itching to open it. He could feel his breathing pick up and he could hear whispers in his ear, telling him to open it.
A sudden hand on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts and he jumped slightly, his head snapping down to look at the person beside him. It was Ruffilo’s aunt, and she held a box of tissues in her hand.
”Oh Noah, I’m so sorry.” She wept, taking a tissue for herself and dabbing her teary eyes with it. “I’m sure this has been hard for you boys.” She said and he gave a nod, looking back down at the casket.
”It has been.” He muttered and she sighed.
”I’m sorry it’s closed, but…no one could see him that way.” She sniffled and he raised an eyebrow.
”Was he…”
”Too messed up to show, sorry to say.” She whispered to him and he gave a curt nod.
”I’m sure he was.” Noah mumbled and she shook her head.
”You saw for yourself. I’m sorry.” She apologized again before pulling him into a side hug. “I have to tend to another family member if you’ll excuse me.” She said, pointing behind Noah before walking away.
Noah, Jolly and Folio sat through the funeral service, the intense amount of praying sending absolute fire through Noah’s veins each time he heard a scripture. Noah’s nails dug into his thighs each time, his eyes closing as he tried to keep his cool. All he could see in his mind was Ruffilo’s dead eyes in the Pet Sematary and all he could hear in the back of his mind was Dr. Creed simply answering ‘no’ when Noah asked him if he believed in God. Noah began to question everything in this moment. If God was real, why would he have let such a bad thing happen to Ruffilo? If God was real, why didn’t he stop this from happening? If God was real, why was his friend laying in a casket right now?
At the burial in the cemetery, Noah watched on intently as Ruffilo’s body was lowered into the ground. The family requested that only a select few people could be present for the burial, and the guys made the cut. As the casket was lowered into the ground, Ruffilo’s aunt stepped forward once it was completely lowered and threw a singular flower atop the casket. One by one, the remaining family members tossed a flower onto the casket and walked away, leaving Folio, Jolly and Noah to be the last.
Noah watched as Jolly and Folio tossed their flowers in, his mouth going dry as it came to his turn. He slowly walked up, his feet meeting the edge of the grave where he looked down, seeing the flower covered casket six feet down. Tears welled up in his eyes as he gripped onto the rose tightly, the stem snapping in his grasp. Tears began to stream down his face as his hands began to tremble, the urge to just jump down into the ground with Ruffilo taking over him. He shifted his weight onto his other foot when Jolly walked up and rested his hand on Noah’s forearm.
”Come on man, we’ve gotta go. I know you want more time, but…” He said quietly and Noah looked at Jolly, his eyes clouded by the tears that flowed. Noah sucked in a sharp breath and nodded before he looked back at the casket in the ground and he shut his eyes tightly before rearing back and throwing the flower down into the hole as hard as he could.
Sobs began to overcome Noah as he threw himself into Jolly’s arms, Folio quickly coming over and patting Noah on his back.
”Hey man, I know, it’s gonna be ok.” Folio cried with him, Jolly trying to hold it together for Noah’s sake. Folio covered his face with one hand, trying to shield his crying from their view as Noah openly and quite loudly wailed, Jolly’s arms holding him as tight as he possibly could.
”Come on Noah, we’ve got to go now, they’re waiting.” Jolly whispered to Noah and Noah pulled away from Jolly, turning around to look.
”Who’s waiting?” He sniffled and Jolly nodded towards the men in the background of the cemetery with the heavy duty equipment.
”They’ve got to bury him now and we can’t be in the way.” Jolly said and grabbed onto Noah’s arm, gently pulling him away from the hole in the ground.
Noah turned back, Jolly and Folio dragging him away by one arm while Noah’s other arm reached out towards the hole, the tears still streaming down his face as he cried out, no words leaving his lips as the hole gradually became further from him. He watched as the men with the diggers moved in to close his friend off from the world, forever.
