La Vérité d'un Rêveur

The Truth of A Dreamer

[heelhil]

It's my 14 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[heelhil]

After all these years...

Crazy how I'm still here, feeling that Tumblr is still my safe space to write everything. Realizing that my first post here is marked on 18th July 2010! Damn, where did these years go by? Though mostly in the last few years, it's just full of Instagram posts. But hey, here we are again.

I decided to feel nostalgic tonight and reminisce about every post. To be honest, I kinda feel lost, like losing myself completely. I just don't feel like myself for the last few years. And looking at this page helped me to realize that I am right about it.

I kinda miss the part of me that's really naive about seeing the world as a happy, dreamy, lovely place, where everything is like the movies. Who was full of crazy dreams and being such a hopeless romantic person. Who was once so full of energy and the resources to make reckless decisions. I wonder where that girl went.

Now, this fat ass just feels so secure yet it gives endless insecurities and is overwhelmed by unnecessary thoughts. I don't like it. I wanna be that girl again. I wanna jump into more grand adventures, make reckless decisions, and feel the warmth in the coldness of the world.

[heelhil]

Kapan lagi bisa foto bareng sama Bang @canro.simarmata ya kaaann! Hihi Banyaaak banget cerita dari pendakian Rinjani kemarin. Seperti hujan, kabut, dan dingin yang tak kunjung habis di sepanjang hari-hari pendakian 😂 Untungnya, ada si jaket ungu nan lucu ini yang selalu memberikan kehangatan sepanjang pendakian. 😌 Thanks @columbiasportswear.id untuk Infinity Summit Double Wall Down Jacket-nyaa! Teknologi Double Wall plus Gold Omni Heat Infinity bikin hangatnya tahan lebih lama jadi ga takut kedinginan lagi! 🙌 Personally, karena gue suka bawa barang bawaan yang light weight dan gampang di packing, saat tau jaket ini packable, udahlah dia jadi favorit gue sejauh ini! 💜 Cukup dipacking ke pocket depan, voila! Kecil tapi memberikan kehangatan maksimal. Haha. Anyway, cheers for having more sun shiny days ahead on the mountains! ☀️🍻 #rinjani #lombok #indonesia #madeforoutside #omniheatinfinity #columbiasportswear #columbiasportswearid #outdoorbabes #womenwhoclimb (at Mt. Rinjani) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnEd9jmO1Id/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Selamat Pagi! ☀️ Semoga belum terlambat untuk mengucapkan Selamat Tahun Baruu!!! Cheers untuk lebih banyak girl’s day trekking & surfing, dancing 💃 , pecicilan di gunung, lari lari (PAGI), selebrasi, jalan jalan sama Ubi, santai santai di pantai, daaaaaaaan semoga lulus (lagi) dari Gedung 3! Have a wonderful year fellas! 💜😘🍻 #newyear #friends #celebration #trekking #surfing #sunsets #graduation Music: Views Musician: @iksonmusic https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm-gqftPtmp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Oh how I wish to have a White Christmas! 🎄 Missing the snow-covered trees and there's just something magical about the crisp, cold air and the sparkling white snow. ❄️ Sending all the love and holiday cheer to everyone out there! 🍻🎉 May your Christmas be holly and jolly, filled with warmth, laughter, and all the things that makes your heart happy! 💫 #hollyjollychristmas #christmas #christmaseve #imdreamingofawhitechristmas https://www.instagram.com/p/CmjoI9KPzcc/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Wohooo! Glad to be back on the summit of Rinjani! 🥰 It definitely wasn’t the good season to climb as you can see that the weather changed in a blink of an eye. Nevertheless, it’s all about the journey and the memories you make with people around you 💕 Hope to have more of this! Thanks @columbiasportswear.id for arranging the Mt. Rinjani Experience 2022. It was a well-spent weekend! 🙌 Happy Tuesday, y’all! Let’s get back on hustling! 💃🍻 #rinjani #rinjanimountain #lombok #summit #7summitsindonesia #mountainbabes #columbia1938 #columbiasportswearid #madeforoutside #mainoutdoor (at Mt. Rinjani) https://www.instagram.com/p/Clz224_vZVG/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Cloudy little hike in Kintamani! ⛅️🏞 It was the perfect weather with such a goodness warmth from this cute purple jacket from @columbiasportswear.id Thanks for the pics and the weekend trip! @baskysoverseas 🙌 #madeforoutside #hiking #kintamani #bali #outdoorbabes #weekends #columbiasportswear #columbiasportswearid (at Kintamani, Bali, Indonesia) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClSsTiBPCfI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

I fucked up. But for what it’s worth, I’ll do everything I can to fix it. And the reason is you.

[heelhil]

Loving this new beach outfit! 🥰 Going on my 4th year living in Bali, somehow you gotta step up your beach outfit game. 😌💪 Cause you know deep down, I bet you still wanna look good at the beach, right? Haha So, I was sooo happy when @columbiasportswear.id launched their colorful Alava sandals! These sandals also match with the hip pack which I often wear to some nights out as well. Haha 😝 Not only I wear them as a beach outfit but also in my daily life. It’s so easy to mix & match them with daily wear. Can’t wait to have more sun shiny days at the beach! Wuhuuu 🏖☀️👙 📸 : @great_hawk #bali #beachbabes #uluwatu #columbiasportswear #columbiasportswearid #madeforoutside (at Uluwatu, Bali, Indonesia) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClFq2jHvOX6/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Can’t wait to go back! Yeay! 🙌 Tanggal 1-5 Desember nanti bareng sama Bang @canro.simarmata dan Mas @bayunoer kita bakal naik Rinjani bareng! Buat yang bingung akhir tahun mau ngabisin cuti kemana, ikut kita yuk! 😌 Cek @columbiasportswear.id dan @mainoutdoor untuk pendaftaran dan info selengkapnya. 😉 Hope to see y’all! 💜 #rinjani #lombok #outdoorbabe #mtrinjaniexperience #columbiasportswear #columbiasportswearid #mainoutdoor #kerjajanganganggumain (at Taman Nasional Gunung Rinjani) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClAkd-OvkFo/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Literally, were wondering around the parking lot and found this gem! 🙌🌈 Thanks ibuk @sheisvanya for the guidance and @voyager_culture for the pics! 🙌🤙🏼 Hope to be back again! #batukaras #hiddengem #surfing (at Batukaras, Jawa Barat, Indonesia) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck0tMcbPDfd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Still a newbie working on her skill on making turns and controlling the board. 😆 Thank you @bonnesurf for keeping up with such a weirdo! Always fun time with you 💕🏄‍♀️🤙🏼 📷: @half.waytoday #bali #surfing #bonnesurf #bonnesurfing #longboard #beachbabe (at Bali, Indonesia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjpNaP0Pgng/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Still in the hype of Bali Ultra Trail 2002 ✨ Kompilasi berbagai macam ekspresi muka yg menggambarkan kondisi hati dan pikiran menuju garis finish yang tak kunjung terlihat di pelupuk mata 😆 Dari senang, ngantuk, bete, capek, senang lagi, komplit! Kalau kalian, gimana ekspresinya saat lagi lari atau naik gunung? Share dong di comment 🙌 Anyway, semoga minggu ini diawali dengan yang baik! 😘💜 #trail #trailrunning #bali #baliultratrail #madeforoutside #columbiasportswearid #testedtough #montrail #outdoorwomen https://www.instagram.com/p/ChQ0hoIP7Zp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Enjoying my last training before the race @baliultratrail.official To be honest, I’m sooo nervous. I’m not used to being in competitions, but hell here I am. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to run 25k around Mount Batur area and I have no idea what I’m getting myself into haha. Anyway, it’s another challenge and all that I need to do is to compete with myself and enjoy the mountain as I always do. 😊 Wish me luck please! And maybe see you at the top of Batur? 😏 #gunungagung #bali #hiking #sunrise #outdoorwomen #columbiasportswearid #columbiasportswear #madeforoutside (at Gunung Agung) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cg6mTJTv8hO/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

You deserved to be loved.

And I can give you that love. The love you deserved.

The only thing I ask is for you to enjoy the ride. There's no need to fight it. It's a waste of time while we could have all the fun in the world! Don't you think?

You will not find what you're looking for unless you're risking it. Be brave my dear and take another chance in life. Your past might define who you are and what you've become but the future is in your hands now. So why bother?

[heelhil]

Pardon if I haven’t been hiking for a while 😆✌️ For the last couple of months I’ve been taking surfing lessons with the one and only @bonnegea ! She’s a 5 times Indonesian Woman Championship along with other competitions she won in Asia. An honor being coached by her! 🙌 I have never imagined that I would enjoy surfing too! I tried surfing for the first time back in 2015 but it was always a one time thing. I didn’t even wanna try to pursue it cause I thought it’s just not my thing and I’m scared of the waves. Though now still scared but able to manage it little by little 🙌 But then, when I met @julie_pelli and she encouraged me to go surfing with her, plus with @pandora.trii - the long gone surfer on her mission to dance on every wave and voila! Here I am, enjoying the waves 🏄‍♀️🏄‍♀️ It’s gonna be a loooonggg way until finally be able to ride the waves myself. Even now I’m still struggling on the basic - putting my feet on the right position when taking off 😂 But hell, cheers to more lessons to learn and the most important is let’s just have the most fun out of it! 🥳💃✨ 📷: @zagotoc #surfing #surfingbali #bali #nusadua #surfergirls #girlstrip #womenwhosurf #optoutside (at Bali) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cco3sPDvMzb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[heelhil]

Funny how it feels like

We're talking to each other on the other line

But it's quiet here

Nothing playing but the song of Asystole