Thad couldn’t help but begin feeling a bit bothered by her constant digging for information. First of all, it didn’t concern her in the slightest, and she had probably already heard Maggie’s version of the story. And if that were the case, Thaddeus didn’t feel like he had anything to fight for. “She makes me sad.” he threw out there, the actual feelings that hid behind the thought rose up in his stomach as the words had been spoken. “Fuck.” he took a breath, feeling the upcoming emotional corruption, but at this point there was little he could do about it. “I don’t mean that she’s bothering me, she’s not–– I mean, she is, but it’s not like––“ he let out a grunt. “There used to be times where I loved her. No, I genuinely mean that I think I loved her. No, she was–– oh, shit, no, I would’ve done anything––“ he didn’t quite know how to speak, how to express the story in the way his twisting guts were pushing him towards. “But it didn’t work out, yeah? She didn’t want to be with me, and it didn’t work out. So–– so that’s fine. That was fine. But then she changed her mind and, and fucking shit, I was so happy. No, I genuinely believed that was a great day. I kept holding onto that thought, despite her, uh.. doing her own thing. Fuck, no–– I don’t fucking know, okay? She kept fucking me over and wanting me back and fucking me over and wanting me back and––” he let out a sharp breath. “Suddenly she was telling people I assaulted her.” just the memory made him want to vomit. “I-I didn’t. Ever. No––” he began explaining, but words were getting stuck in his throat as a wave of heat washed over him, pushing at the obvious discomfort and sadness. “That’s why I–– I don’t know, I just see her fucking around and I–– I don’t wanna do this, you know? It’s–– it was bad. For me, for her––” he paused, shaking his head slightly. “No, whatever. Sorry. Uh, sorry ‘bout that the thing with Penny, I didn’t know it would–– yeah, sorry.”
Heidi wouldn’t have been able to say anything even if she’d been given the chance to speak as the words seemed to spill from his mouth. Five seconds ago he just seemed like this chill, too cool for you, nonchalant, kind of guy and now Heidi was speechless. She stared at him, mouth agape. “I...” she started, but felt loss for words. “I don’t know what to do with that,” she finally mumbled, her eyes not leaving his face because honestly she felt a little ashamed in herself for only judging him on the words of her friend, who she was beginning to think wasn’t the reliable source she always thought she had been.