John/Joan Buttbert

Kinky Ask and RP blog for Godtier John Egbert, I also draw stuff (kinks are vore, inflation/flattening, chub, and hyper (Background image is by Organicgranite on deviantart) Current M!As: None

[heirsofass]

John Egbert! your friend and fellow retconner, you need help with a question.

What do you do when your balls feel a bit too…..bloated then usually. like your body produced a bit too much jizz recently and you don’t know how to get rid of it?

Is that a trick question, just find someone or somewhere to eject the excess weight yknow?

[heirsofass]

Joan!

[without any warning, reader would suddenly appear with a ZAP, latching onto the female egbert's rear, completely blind to any possible altercations Joan's current state]

Joan! you, mspa reader! need help! Our dear friend John seems to have fallen under the batterwitch’s spell, he’s either swallowing everyone messing everything up, you need help from the one thing that can combat a Egbert!

A female version of that same Egbert!

It’s the only way!

uhm. dude what the hell are you talking about also get out of my shower?

[journeyballs]

No!

[Reader, the small but dexterous creature that they are, scramble and climb up the showering Egbert, their hands hooking under her arms and resting on her plentiful breasts, his phone between his hands so Joan has to look down and watch as he rests his head on her shoulder]

You’re talking about this!!

[Reader then shows Joan a series of photos and videos of what is essentially John, Crockertier, getting into very horny, very destructive situations.]

[these include, but are not limited to: a picture John with a fat, Gut, the first six symbols of the zodiac associated with the trolls plastered on. John with his cock stuck into a building. After slide of that very same building now erupting with cum volcano style. A selfie from John himself, seemingly stolen from reader, currently pinned under his rear in the image to the point only his hands are visible. John on Condy’s ship balcony, spraying vast amounts of Egbert Jizz onto Lowblood and Highblood neighborhoods. a full video of John putting multiple captured variations of their friends under condy’s control through the tiara. a selfie with the condy. a back selfie to show off their fuckmongus rears. And a bunch of blurry images seemingly of reader suddenly taking back their phone and running away from John through what could only be a vast, narrative spanning game of tag where one touch meant complete servitude to the batterwitch, or life as a flattened, stretched out thong. one that reader seemed to win, seeing as he’s here now]

You’re very sorry for springing this up on the showering Egbert, but you recognize that the sheer notion of ‘evil John Egbert’ is, respectfully, game over, and you, despite having the same ZAP powers, don’t have THE power to stop him, or at least reason with him

You know you’ve arrived here suddenly, and you apologize profusely for ruining her shower but….please…

[on one hand, the way reader breathes heavily and talks sounds geniune, he’s afraid, genuinely afraid, of John, for John, for his friends, he’s being sincere, he needs Joan’s help]

[on the other hand, between having to relook at those photos and being next to a VERY naked Joan, it’s obvious reader’s body knows what’s up, and the Egbert can feels reader’s fat balls and shaft rub against her back, which is a bit annoying

> What will she do

[heirsofass]

Joan listens to this all with a very nonplussed expression, her face shifting to intrigue and surprise every so often with the inclusion of more details. With that last plead for help she giggles and suddenly turns around while holding you in place.

"So you came all the way here and you didn't think to check what kinda girl you were asking for?"

She suddenly leans forward and takes that hefty shaft between her massive doughy soft breasts, giving a sharp grin as her eyes suddenly flare red with familiar cybernetic enhancements. She presses one cartoonishly long kiss to that tip before leaning in with her breath heating up your shaft.

"Boo."

[heirsofass]

Joan!

[without any warning, reader would suddenly appear with a ZAP, latching onto the female egbert's rear, completely blind to any possible altercations Joan's current state]

Joan! you, mspa reader! need help! Our dear friend John seems to have fallen under the batterwitch’s spell, he’s either swallowing everyone messing everything up, you need help from the one thing that can combat a Egbert!

A female version of that same Egbert!

It’s the only way!

uhm. dude what the hell are you talking about also get out of my shower?

[heirsofass]

standing by for orders >:B

[glutealgumshoe]

You certainly don't get a figure like this off of eating fruits and veggies, you know! ;)

[heirsofass]

my good pal and sometimes a really scary lady

[heirsofass]

Like a tramp stamp?

well. wouldn't put it like THAT but kinda

[heirsofass]

Need any help with the chip search?

its just a lil red thing that gets slotted into a lil thing on my back :B

[heirsofass]

The anon pops on a fake cultist outfit for comedic effect

It’ll be fineeeee, worse come to worse a little anon magic will fix everything right up, and even not so, maybe indulging a little bit will do wonders

mmmnnn fine, just gotta find the chip here...

[heirsofass]

Because it would be funny, and I think your butt’s bigger as the persona, and everyone’s always horny for the evil side, even if it’s more of a Hyde situation

Urgh fine, but i dunno if i can change back >:T

[heirsofass]

Then show off that Dr Hyde tush!

hey wha why would i voluntarily activate the hungry species ender persona

[heirsofass]

So Joan, is that Crockertier or corrupted self of yours triggerable on command, or do you need some anon help to get that evil ass jiggling?

>:o im not evil, im sure everybody has a mr hyde buried deep down somewhere

[heirsofass]

John and Joan really here with asses big enough to give everyone stiffies, smh

;B

[heirsofass]

do yOu Enjoy hAving A hugE ass Or do yOu thInk it's A burdEn?

bein thick as all hell is pretty amazing, there's just something about having giant cushions back there

[heirsofass]

The anon, suprisingly shorter then Joan, goes and gives one of her asscheeks a soft grab, letting their hand sink in

“Probably can’t, not as hyper as others are, but”

“Wanna bet”

you are awful confident for someone do small, you're gonna end up in some trouble!

[heirsofass]

Joass Buttbert

Prepare to perish

[heirsofass]

Plays Joan’s ass like a drum with my hands

I will twerk you into mush