I'm collecting letters people write when they leave/move away from New Orleans. It is almost always transplants. Nothing is more polarizing than calling someone a transplant, its an instant test to see how secure someone is. Why is New Orleans the place people claim to be from but aren't? They get mad when I ask specifics about their time here "well, I didn't got to school here but I've been here X years." If I lived in Paris for 15 years as an adult I'd never said "I'm from Paris" when asked. Why are transplants so sensitive? is it because they find their title derogatory? The other night at a bar a woman came up to me unsolicited, I was there to hang with my friend who was bartending, which I told her. She continued to talk, which was fine for a bit because we laughed over some shared observations at the bar but it became annoying quickly. As soon as I realized this woman had no interest in having a conversation as she much as she had an interest in talking I gave up deep engagement. I figured she'd tire herself out and walk away. I unsolicited heard the story of her life in New Orleans. The other thing that set off alarms in the first few minutes of our conversation is she mentioned "I'm sure you can hear my accent" I couldn't. I told her she sounded like Rachel Green to me. Then I noticed a distinct switch and I joked she was "laying it on" after that point. It was a EUROPEAN accent and she had moments before told me she was from Nebraska or "wild Wild West" as she referred to it. She spent some time making fun of the mid-west and Nebraska for being boring. I decided to join in as I love making fun of places I've never been "What even is in Nebraska? I am not going there!" Her tone suddenly switched to a much more defensive one, "well Nebraska and New Orleans have a lot in common and are very similar." She cited the LOUISIANA PURCHASE. You know, that historic event in 1803? Nebraska was a part of Louisiana for about 60 years. Apparently that was enough time for all things NOLA to make their way up river. She kept saying "the river! the river connects us! We are the same!" Which really irked me so when she for the second time referred to coming to New Orleans on a freight train I teased "coming here on a freight train does not make you anymore interesting to me or any less a gentrifier" This is when the convo really started to turn of course, she was finally listening to a voice besides her own and detected that maybe, just maybe, there are humans on the earth who do not want to hear the story of her gutter punk upbringing. She came her 2 years after Katrina, I pointed out this was the worst wave of people because they came in when our city was most vulnerable and diluted what we had left of our culture. she didn't like that either. She began to make her exit "You know I don't share my life story easily, this is very personal." To which I responded as she was standing up "Yeah, your life story is a VERY personal and vulnerable thing to share with someone because you never know who you are talking to or how they may react."
She walked away. Sheesh.
