Hella Hookah

Keepin' the coals lit, one blog post a time

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"My drink is strong, my hookah sweet"

                                              -Lil' Wayne guest verse from song "Hit the Lights"

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What To Look For in a Hookah Lounge

If you're going to go out with friends for some good ole hookah, make sure you pick a spot that's has everything you want in an awesome hookah lounge. These are just a few of the things I look for:

Quality:

You don't know how many times I've been to a hookah bar where the hookah tasted like burn't ass. The quality and cleanliness of the hookah can make a huge difference on how smooth the hookah is. Not only does the hookah have to be good, but the way the bowl was packed can affect the taste as well. The tobacco has to be packed well and the coals have to be completely lit for a top notch smoking session.

Wait Time:

If you have to wait more than 15 min to get a table at a hookah lounge, somethings wrong. Many hookah bars are understaffed, which means more waiting for you. After your seated, a good lounge will give you your hookah within 15 min of ordering. The overall service has to be good too. The time it takes for the coals to be changed is probably the most important thing for me. If I'm waiting for new coals for a while when theres a hookah to be smoked right in front of me, I'm pissed.

Vibe:

I like my hookah lounges to have a chill environment with relaxing music, comfy seating, dim lighting, and maybe even some belly dancers. You want to find a place that's easy on the eyes. If you walk into a hookah bar and you're greeted by a fat shady looking guy that says " what you want? hookah?", my advice would be to turn around and take your business elsewhere.  

Variety:

A hookah bar with a good amount of different flavors is a plus. Although I do love white peach, I like to try different mixtures of flavors every now and then, and chances are you will too.

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If this ever breaks out at your house when you take out the hookah, I will have to stab you.

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Only you can prevent Hookah Party fires

When people are doing hookah in their privacy in their homes, chances are there will be a drunk guy or chick running around that is one step from knocking over the hookah. Here are some steps to keep the place from burning on fire:

1. Avoid smoking indoors if its an option. The more room around the hookah, the less chance of a disaster occurring. Even if the hookah gets knocked over, since you're outside its an easy clean up. 

2. Buy a cheap floor mat to place under the hookah. A rubber based mat will be less likely to catch on fire and will prevent any burns in the floor or carpet.

3. Proper Hose placement.  Make sure there is ample distance between the path of the hose and obstacles such as drinks, bottles, food, etc.  Also make sure that the hose is located in a place that people will not be crossing through.  Minimizing the potential for hose tangling will lessen the chances of a disastrous hookah fire.

4. Have an extra set of tongs. If some douchebag does knock over the hookah, you still have time to salvage the hookah coals and your carpet.

5. Have extra water around just in case something does spark on fire will save the night. If you don't have extra water, beer or even the hookah water would be able to put out the coals.

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I Need More Hoses

If you're familiar with hookahs, then you've probably seen a hookah with two or more hoses. Many people like having multiple hoses because it's a hassle to keep passing one hose in a big group. Whether a hookah is a single hose or not, they smoke the same for the most part. The only difference is that most hookahs with more than one hose are not autoseal, which means that when one person is smoking the other has to cover up the mouthpiece on the other hose. In my opinion that's way worse than passing around one hose. Some hookah's have the option to add on more hoses, so you just have to buy an adapter. Just make sure that if you're trying to buy a hookah with more than one hose, make sure you do your research.

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Trippy

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The Daily Show's Demetri Martin covers the topic of Hookah in this video clip.

Plus "you're so high right now."

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Hookah talk with my mom.

Me : "The neighbors at the end have a bong in their window."

Mom : "A bong?"

Me : "Yeah."

Mom : "Like... a water pipe?"

Me : "Yeah."

Mom : "No, that doesn't sound right, its probably one of those things, the uh... hooplah."

Me : "..."

Mom : "You can buy those legally and smoke tobacco."

Me : "No I'm pretty sure it's a bong."

Mom : "No it's a hooplah."

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Hookah Headaches

We've all experienced this before.  After a night out with your friends and smoking hookah, you get this massive headache that feels like a hangover you'd have after a night out in Vegas.  You're thinking to yourself, "What the hell, I didn't even drink that much alcohol tonight!"  Well, your headache isn't caused by alcohol, but by too much hookah.

In the same way we can get a headache from drinking too much, we can get a "Hookah Hangover" as I like to call it.

Symptoms are of  course, a bad headache, nausea, and dizziness.

These symptoms are caused by an overload of nicotine in your body.  Your brain's nicotine receptors just can't handle the overload, and go crazy.  What you feel is a horrible headache.

Things you can do to avoid a hookah headache are simply taking it easy with the hookah and not smoking as much.  Also, taking huge hits with the entire capacity of your lungs can overload your body and cause headaches.  Staying hydrated by drinking plenty of water can dilute the nicotine and keep you feeling good.  Having some food in your system can also ease the hookah hangover.

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3collegekids:

The effect of this is so cool! Bubbles are just fun in general, really. If you are bored, have dish soap, a hookah and some shisha available (or I guess this would work with whatever it was that you were smoking), try this!

Fill a small bowl with dish soap, add a little water

Get a straw (a...

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Hookah Hogs

You know what really grinds my gears?  Hookah Hogs.  You know who I'm talking about... that guy that just won't pass the hookah hose for what seems like DAYS.  There really needs to be some ground rules for how long one can hold the hose for.  Like the popular Pitbull song says, "Puff puff pass with your pussy ass."  True words of wisdom ... even Pitbull is fed up with hookah hogs.

The worst type of hookah hog is the guy that isn't even smoking the damn hookah, and rambling on, telling some stupid story no one cares about.  No one cares about your life story man, pass the damn hookah and shut up.

Another classification of a hookah hog that I hate is the guy that spends about 20 minutes trying to blow O's and fails.  "Wait up wait up one more hit, I wanna blow O's!"  No one wants to see you fail at blowing O's for 20 minutes straight, pass the damn hookah and shut up.

If anyone has seen this scene in the movie "Half Baked", then they know what other type of hookah hog exists.  The guy that joins in on the hookah session late, doesn't throw down on the hookah, and cashes the entire bowl by himself without even passing the hose once.  This type of hookah hog makes me want to throw burning hookah coals in the guy's face.

Moral of the story: Don't be a hookah hog.  Be courteous and pass the hose after a few hits.  Or I'll throw burning coals in your face.

[aliciamadgalena]

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Bro, I'm so shished

If you're a newbie when it comes to smoking hookah or smoking anything for the matter, then you've probably wondered why you get lightheaded from puffing on that hose for a good 5 minutes or so. Looking through the internet I found that actually many people are asking questions like "Why do I get lightheaded from smoking hookah" and "Can you get high from inhaling hookah". After laughing out loud for a good minute I realized I had to write this to inform others that NO, you cannot get high from hookah's, unless you add your own special ingredient that is. The light headed feeling is simply caused by the nicotine and lack of oxygen your body is getting. If you've ever heard someone say "Damn, I'm shished.." (pronounced sheeshed), that just means "Damn, I'm feeling light headed". And for people who don't smoke regularly, the buzz you get may affect you more than others.

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half baked <3

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stoned420:

half baked <3

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