[helldwells]

#HELLDWELLS ⸻          a     highly     selective,     slow-paced,     independent     blog     for     elias ryker      from     altered     carbon,     with     reminiscences     of     the     show & books     albeit     the     character is not quite developed and thus     will     be     extremely     headcanon     based     with     original     characteristics     and     backstory.     elias does have smidgens of takeshi kovacs, as the body was a sleeve for the latter. multi-verse     and     crossover     friendly:     elias     does     have     the     facility     to     be     inserted     in     a     variety     of     environments     and     scenarios.          inspirations     are     taken     from     cyberpunk     2077,     john     wick,     sin     city,     the     godfather,     kill     bill     and     pulp     fiction.

current verses: altered carbon, cyberpunk 2077, dc universe, modern

tags: edits, visage, joo's posts, headcanons

cherished and loved by joo, she / her, androgynous, established may '24.

an     in-depth     study     on:    ethical steadfastness, vulnerability, and complex relationships. the exploration of the broader philosophical questions and moral dilemmas. the desire to seek revenge. struggling with one's own identity. substance abuse as a means to find solace.

CARRD . PROMO . PSD . BANNERS & ICONS . SETTRIGH

[bijameswilson]

Joel Kinnaman as Takeshi Kovacs in Altered Carbon | Fallen Angel

[helldwells]

thinking about ryker and how one day he was a cop chasing corruption, whilst the next he was a murderer in his colleagues' perception. they said his rage did it, that he was damaged under the pressure [ ... ] but ryker knew what really happened, and knew the evidence had been twisted and buried. no one listened, however. quite literally no one. and despite it all, the betrayal cut deeper than the accusation. ortega doubted him, the department blamed him. he was doomed: his cortical stack was removed and his sleeve ( body ) frozen. then his sleeve came back walking, breathing, smiling under another man's consciousness. a sleeve used by another, a sleeve that made ortega come close to it again. and suddenly ryker became a ghost to his own life, watching it continue without him.

when he was back he found shelter ( if you could call it that ) in the burn of whiskey and the numbness of neuro-enhancers. he clung to the haze, to the synthetic fog that softened every memory into something he could half-forget. it became a coping mechanism, or so he told himself. but the truth sat much deeper: he could not stand being himself anymore. there were too many ghosts in one skin. the system had torn apart his life and asked him to keep functioning, as if human identity could be reinstalled, as if he was naught but a corrupted program.

his nights became rituals of controlled collapse. alcohol dulled the guilt he could not escape; the pills quieted the anger that kept surfacing in dreams. he thought if he drank enough, mayhap his mind would finally sync back into its sleeve without splintering. instead, he just became better at pretending he was fine. ultimately, the hurt never left: it settled, reposed somewhere behind the eyes, waiting. and at some point, ryker stopped fighting it. pain, after all, was the only thing that still felt real. everything else ( justice, trust, even love ) had been rewritten, worn by strangers, and sold back to him as someone else's ending.

[lose]

[freakytikigifs]

Joel Kinnaman as Takeshi Kovacs ALTERED CARBON 1.01

[helldwells]

he sat slouched in a corner booth that had seen better decades: the leather was cracked and the table's display pad buzzed with an awful static interference. his overcoat was still wet ⸻ droplets slid from its hem to the floor, but he cared not about it, hanging it on the head of the vacant seat. a cigarette was already nestled betwixt his tiers ( an old habit that was hard to die ) and he inhaled the smoke that spiralled, filling his lungs with fatal toxin that was never ready to arrive to take him.

&. 100 nonverbal prompts. ∗ 53﹕ sender  buys  receiver  a  drink  at  a  bar . - sami! ( @neongrime )

❝ still bringing trouble in a bottle, i see... ❞ his vox was roughened by cheap cigars and cheaper regrets, but a smirk jazzed upon his scarred lineaments, meeting the other's gaze. ❝ like every single night, i'm afraid. ❞ no laments [ ... ] after all, he did enjoy the company of someone who never really asked questions. his gaze averted to the golden liquid, watching it swirl. another bad habit that cared not about dying, another handful of regret that he cared not to worry. he finally reached for the glass and raised it in a half-toast. ❝ to ghosts that won't stay dead, i guess. ❞

[ohisms]

𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺 .    (  a  collection  of  100  nonverbal  action  prompts .   mature  and  potentially  triggering  themes  are  present .   add  “ + reverse ”  to  swap  assigned  roles . )

∗ o1﹕ sender  tucks  hair  out  of  receiver’s  face . ∗ o2﹕ sender  offers  receiver  a  bite  from  their  fork . ∗ o3﹕ sender  places  their  feet / legs  in  receiver's  lap . ∗ o4﹕ sender  offers  receiver  an  earbud  to  share  their  music . ∗ o5﹕ sender  comforts  receiver  in  the  aftermath  of  a  nightmare . ∗ o6﹕ sender  gives  receiver  company  in  the  hospital . ∗ o7﹕ sender  wraps  their  arms  around  a  hysterical  receiver  to  calm  them . ∗ o8﹕ sender  shows  up  at  receiver’s  home  late  at  night . ∗ o9﹕ sender  falls  asleep  leaning  against  receiver . ∗ 1o﹕ sender  wields  a  [ gun / knife ]  at  receiver . ∗ 11﹕ sender  runs  their  fingers  through  receiver’s  hair . ∗ 12﹕ sender  invites  receiver  to  dance . ∗ 13﹕ sender  takes  a  [ picture / video ]  of  receiver . ∗ 14﹕ sender  places  their  head  in  receiver’s  lap . ∗ 15﹕ sender  and  receiver  make  eye  contact  across  a  busy  room . ∗ 16﹕ sender  pushes  receiver  against  a  wall  to  kiss  them . ∗ 17﹕ sender  and  receiver  cook  together . ∗ 18﹕ sender  comes  to  receiver  after  being  injured . ∗ 19﹕ sender  sits  in  receiver’s  lap . ∗ 2o﹕ sender  lifts  receiver's  chin ,  invoking  eye  contact . ∗ 21﹕ sender  overtakes  receiver  in  combat . ∗ 22﹕ sender  finds  receiver  [ injured / bloodied ] . ∗ 23﹕ sender  straightens  an  article  of  receiver’s  clothes . ∗ 24﹕ sender  crawls  into  bed  with  receiver . ∗ 25﹕ sender  rolls  their  eyes  at  receiver . ∗ 26﹕ sender  lights  receiver’s  [ cigarette / joint ] . ∗ 27﹕ sender  is  caught  wearing  receiver's  clothes . ∗ 28﹕ sender  strikes  receiver  with  a  pillow . ∗ 29﹕ sender  writes  a  note  on  receiver’s  skin :  [ note ] . ∗ 3o﹕ sender  wraps  a  blanket  around  receiver’s  shoulders . ∗ 31﹕ sender  runs  and  jumps  into  receiver’s  arms . ∗ 32﹕ sender  shoves  receiver  out  of  anger . ∗ 33﹕ sender  hovers  over  receiver’s  shoulder  as  they  complete  a  task . ∗ 34﹕ sender  is  found  by  receiver  somewhere  they  shouldn’t  be . ∗ 35﹕ sender  curls  up  against  receiver  in  their  sleep . ∗ 36﹕ sender  is  found  drunk  by  receiver . ∗ 37﹕ sender  throws  an  item  of  sentiment  bitterly  at  receiver . ∗ 38﹕ sender  joins  receiver  in  the  shower . ∗ 39﹕ sender  is  caught  following  receiver . ∗ 4o﹕ sender  traces  one  of  receiver’s  [ scars / bruises ] . ∗ 41﹕ sender  twines  their  fingers  with  receiver’s . ∗ 42﹕ sender  barges  into  receiver’s  home  unannounced . ∗ 43﹕ sender  kicks  receiver’s  shin  beneath  a  table . ∗ 44﹕ sender  aggressively  shoves  past  receiver . ∗ 45﹕ sender  kisses  receiver’s  [ forehead / cheek ] . ∗ 46﹕ sender  pulls  receiver  out  of  harm’s  way . ∗ 47﹕ sender  is  found  sobbing  by  receiver . ∗ 48﹕ sender  locks  receiver  out  of  their  room . ∗ 49﹕ sender  brings  receiver  [ coffee / tea ]  in  the  morning . ∗ 5o﹕ sender  rests  their  forehead  against  receiver’s . ∗ 51﹕ sender  plays  a  song  for  receiver  that  reminds  them  of  them :  [ song ] . ∗ 52﹕ sender  takes  a  [ punch / stab / bullet ]  meant  for  receiver . ∗ 53﹕ sender  buys  receiver  a  drink  at  a  bar . ∗ 54﹕ sender  needs  receiver’s  help  getting  in  the  bath . ∗ 55﹕ sender  and  receiver  cross  paths  in  the  kitchen  late  at  night . ∗ 56﹕ sender  twists  receiver’s  arm  behind  their  back . ∗ 57﹕ sender  winks  at  receiver . ∗ 58﹕ sender  is  found  collapsed  by  receiver . ∗ 59﹕ sender  prevents  an  injured  receiver  from  getting  up . ∗ 6o﹕ sender  claps  a  hand  over  receiver’s  mouth  to  silence  them . ∗ 61﹕ sender  cages  receiver  against  a  [ wall / the floor ]  with  their  arms . ∗ 62﹕ sender  storms  away  from  receiver  during  an  argument . ∗ 63﹕ sender  is  found  by  receiver  sleeping  in  receiver’s  bed . ∗ 64﹕ sender  [ applies / touches up ]  receiver’s  makeup . ∗ 65﹕ sender  throws  receiver  into  a  wall  during  combat . ∗ 66﹕ sender  dances  sensually  with  receiver . ∗ 67﹕ sender  strikes  receiver  across  the  face . ∗ 68﹕ sender  places  their  hand  on  receiver’s  leg  while  driving . ∗ 69﹕ sender  pulls  a  chair  out  from  under  receiver . ∗ 7o﹕ sender  catches  receiver’s  wrist  when  they  turn  to  leave . ∗ 71﹕ sender  leaves  an  intimate  mark  on  receiver . ∗ 72﹕ sender  beats  receiver  in  a  video  game . ∗ 73﹕ sender  and  receiver  stand  in  stunned  silence  after  a  fight . ∗ 74﹕ sender  cares  for  receiver  while  they’re  sick . ∗ 75﹕ sender  and  receiver  go  on  a  hike . ∗ 76﹕ sender  is  caught  snooping  in  receiver’s  things . ∗ 77﹕ sender  and  receiver  cuddle  while  watching  television . ∗ 78﹕ sender  throws  something  aggressively  at  receiver . ∗ 79﹕ sender  creeps  up  behind  receiver  to  scare  them . ∗ 8o﹕ sender  and  receiver  go  shopping  together . ∗ 81﹕ sender  helps  receiver  [ dye / style ]  their  hair . ∗ 82﹕ sender  draws  receiver  into  a  kiss  by  the  back  of  their  neck . ∗ 83﹕ sender  is  discovered  having  a  panic  attack  by  receiver . ∗ 84﹕ sender  accidentally  injures  receiver  during  sparring . ∗ 85﹕ sender  grabs  receiver  roughly  by  the  hair . ∗ 86﹕ sender  brings  receiver  to  their  knees  during  combat . ∗ 87﹕ sender  shows  receiver  evidence  of  a  lie  they  told . ∗ 88﹕ sender  winks  [ seductively / mockingly ]  at  receiver . ∗ 89﹕ sender  yells  at  receiver  to  put  their  hands  in  the  air . ∗ 9o﹕ sender  helps  receiver  patch  up  a  wound . ∗ 91﹕ sender  holds  receiver  as  they  cry . ∗ 92﹕ sender  silently  and  angrily  points  receiver  towards  the  door . ∗ 93﹕ sender  gestures  for  receiver  to  sit  down . ∗ 94﹕ sender  pulls  receiver  into  their  lap . ∗ 95﹕ sender  cradles  receiver’s  face . ∗ 96﹕ sender  tackles  receiver  out  of  the  way  of  danger . ∗ 97﹕ sender  has  hidden  an  injury  from  receiver ,  and  receiver  finds  out . ∗ 98﹕ sender  confronts  receiver  about  their  unhealthy  behavior . ∗ 99﹕ sender  proposes  to  receiver . ∗ 1oo﹕ sender  has  just  died ,  receiver  finds  out .

[helldwells]

━━ edit 4 ? ∞

i lay still for a while picking up the scattered garments of my mind

[acecroft]

Altered Carbon | 1x08

[cyberpunkaddict]

Night City, The City of Dreams.

[helldwells]

━━ what type of lonely are you ?

loneliness born of anger you learned from a young age you are not like others, and others hate you for it. you've been mocked and tormented your whole life, and it birthed a violence in your heart. you yell at your younger siblings when they slip up. you don't want them to suffer the same fate you did. at once, you are both miles above and miles below your peers. you are not polite. people no longer dislike you because of you, but for your biting words. it's better this way, after all. at least now you know it's your own fault.

tagged by: @vulpesse ( thank you bun ♡) tagging: @d0llfatale , @stainedpast / @sanatoris , @elizakardel , @rockerb0y, @yllowpages , @piperafterdark , @neongrime , @lucidxxdreamer , @mahmur , @laperlina , @mad-hunts , @innerwar , @channel3, @stagsnobility , @3dgerunner and you!!

[helldwells]

me casually manifesting for more altered carbon verses and muses 🧘 😌.

[neongrime]

“So, you’re into that kind of thing,” he snorts, licking his own busted lip with an amused grin as he leans in to accept the cigarette. At the arcades, the hype man of the two kids yells like they’re at the world championship, and he’s unwillingly dragged back to thoughts of Gus. Cigarette pulls him back to the present as he keeps talking. That kind of joy doesn’t last. “That’s damned bleak, man,” the abrupt laugh that erupts from him makes him choke on the cigarette smoke, coughing up until his eyes water and he’s nearly bent over trying to catch his breath. 

Not that he’s wrong, mind you, if the news reports are anything to go by, giving them a year is wildly optimistic. Technically speaking, even he didn't make it, but one rarely hears it said so bluntly. People are always thinking they are the ones that will make it, they are special, the one exception in a city that doesn’t give a shit. Like Jackie and his promises of ‘the big leagues’, like Gus, thinking Maelstrom would be it, their ticket out of the streets. It’s oddly refreshing, no bullshit. He likes that.

“Seems it’s my lucky day then, don’t gotta pawn no chrome for your nasty-ass bottle,” he swipes it up in one fluent move and takes a swig without even flinching. Not the first time he drank dubious alcohol from a stranger, not that he gives a damn either way, about the contents or how hygienic the bottle might be. “You’ve seemed to have survived this long though, what’s the secret? Don’t accept cigarettes and booze from sketchy randos on the street?” he chuckles again, taking another swig. Some kind of hard and heavily synthetic alcohol burns a path down his throat and warms his wet rag of a body back into some semblance of life— it's unclear if the metallic aftertaste comes from him or the bottle. Of all the things that tried to kill him, it would be funny if sus booze is what does it.

[helldwells]

there was a shoot of a crooked smirk, an absent act of flicking ash from the cigarette with a thumb that knew its way around its structure. ❝ nothing like honest bleakness to keep the joints limber. ❞ he tossed a line of sarcasm, the brims of his vox escaping from a busted tier that howled a punctuation of war. smoke rushed the back of his throat with hellish liquid, burning its walls and the terrain of his vocals. he coughed then ( mayhap too theatrical ), but matching the way the other responded, the kind of agony that demanded applause. he let it ride out, grinning through the roughness, savouring the metallic taste that might be death or just another day in that damn city. ❝ i think the fact that i have no organs repossessed, no synthetic heartbreak, no chrome pawned made me a survivor. all i have is one bottle, four regrets. ❞

he angled a glance over, the smirk never fully thawing the old lines cut deep in his lineaments. ❝ you don't look like you have exactly been kissed by good luck lately, though... if you need a decent hangover, or the cure of it, let me know... all i ask is that you don't bleed on my jacket. i'm trying to keep a low profile. ❞ a light-hearted commentary, but meaningful in its core, even if not fully perceived. he was an observant all-in-all, and there were nuances in the other that caught him fully. mayhap the gaze also spoke what his casual temper did no. ❝ the moment you throw up on me, i'm billing you for emotional damages. but well... at least don't say i never treated you later. ❞

[helldwells]

after many years i got my little elias ryker 🌹 and i cannot stress enough how absolutely good the unicorn backpack looks 😎✌️one day i might buy one just because...

[helldwells]

━━ you are the patron saint of [ ... ]

patron saint of bones patron saint of frameworks. of structures. of solidity. patron saint of things that break. patron saint of things that are left behind. the bones survive long after the body, the building: what is there left for them, when the rest has gone? what do bones do, with nothing to hold around them? who holds the bones?

tagged by: @rockerb0y ( thank you fam ♡) tagging: @vulpesse , @thewrongwomen , @d0llfatale , @stainedpast / @sanatoris , @elizakardel , @yllowpages , @piperafterdark , @neongrime , @lucidxxdreamer , @mahmur , @laperlina and you!!

[freakytikigifs]

Joel Kinnaman as Takeshi Kovacs ALTERED CARBON 1.02

[helldwells]

he felt the gaze long before he acknowledged its source for klaus had a way to fold himself into the silence, with memories clinging to him, too bright, too young, too persistent. ryker, however, was burdened by the ceremonial loss, frustrated by the corruption that left him with his life at stake. the night had never been kind to him, and it was prone to usher him to play villain to keep innocence breathing.

he halted with unfortunate inevitability, the chill of the first day of winter clinging to his very bones. a sigh escaped, mouth nearly bruising the shape of the other's name. he turned then, his stance rehearsed to keep warmth away. it was not cruelty, not pride, but a tragic kind of mercy. ❝ you're not very sneaky, kid. ❞ his very much worked cruelty was anchored by pain he could never explain ⸻ it was a pain that flared every time he had to be cruel, to be rude. he could not let klaus get close ( there were wolves at his trail ), not with histories rewritten nightly in files no one could ever read. the ache stitched betwixt his ribs, unhealable, old as loyalty and fresh as failure.

❝ how many times have i told you to stop looking for me? ❞ he got closer with large steps, halting before the other, spheres locked, lineaments close to intimidate. ❝ find someone else to entertain yourself. leave me the fuck alone. ❞ ( @stainedpast )