Hell is Online Dating

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I love an honest man.

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I love when you know what to expect from a guy just from his screen name.

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Are you trying to tell me that the man of my dreams is a dope-smoking puppy?

Actually...

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Nothing sexier than a total lack of confidence.

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Haven't you ever heard of putting your best foot forward?

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I have a dream that one day this douchebag will lose his nuts in a lawnmower accident.

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This is the only appropriate reaction, in real life or on a gay sex app.

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Some people are really susceptible to suggestion.

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An Arrested Development reference is always appreciated.

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That old cliché.

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Alcoholism amongst gay men is no laughing matter.  But it is a lot of fun.

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At some point, he just gave up trying to speak English.

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Yep, it's 2012, and gay dudes are still soliciting bareback sex with strangers!  Congrats movement!

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It's number one on my list, too.

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Seriously people, don't use an acronym if it doesn't stand for anything.

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As if Sea World weren't gay enough already.

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He was probably too busy digging food out of dumpsters! #occupygrindr