Happy 'til I Die

R | 34, PNW, Polyamorous, Stoner | Poetic and spiritual; seek and enjoy | Sideblog: @sunflowersoft

[hello-dolly]

We are the vibe

[hello-dolly]

No rest, just wicked

[entheognosis]

[hello-dolly]

I'm up past my bedtime 🌙

[hello-dolly]

Blues

[hello-dolly]

Happy 4th, just not to America

[hello-dolly]

[hello-dolly]

[hello-dolly]

Recuperating

[hello-dolly]

Remember who you are

[hello-dolly]

[hello-dolly]

[hello-dolly]

As a person who suffers with multiple chronic illnesses and autoimmune conditions,

Why is it that weed is always the answer to my chronic headaches and migraines?

I've tried SO MANY modalities for treatment. So many specialists and scans and testing out medications and therapy and acupuncture and massage and even sensory-deprevation tank floats. Nothing has sustainably helped me.

I have PMOS, formerly PCOS. I truly believe my migraines are hormonal, and they spike significantly during my periods. I'm postpartum and on my period today, which has left me with a severe cluster headache above my left eye. I'm in so much pain that I'm nauseous and dizzy, but work demands my attention so I burn out on adrenaline to survive.

But I'm also struggling with hypermobile EDS, cervical instability, and a whole pot of dysautonomia symptoms. My posture is just a fucked as my hormones, and equally causing head pain.

All I can say, is no other healing treatment or modality has ever come close to masking my pain as the weed does. I know it isn't healing me, but it sure as shit relaxes me. And I'm telling ya, its the stress that's gonna kill me in the end.

I'll take ever chance I can to relaxand hope that I can use that mental reset to keep pursuing more fundamental life changes. Right now, weed is about the only way I can survive my work stress. Leaving my job is not currently a real consideration.

[hello-dolly]

Still alive

[hello-dolly]

Baptized in Rage

[hello-dolly]

I am fed up with men who love like idealistic children. I want a real man and a real adult relationship. I want a man with emotional intelligence, discipline, ambition, attention to detail, considerate, who chooses to communicate rather than avoid. Who knows how to discern and make decisions for a family and not just his own ego. I want a man who can bring out my soft side rather than my rage.

I want a man who will provide for me and most importantly create a safe space for raising my daughter. I want a partner and a friend and a confidant and someone who commits to their word and never lies.

I'm so tired of dating people I have to raise. I'm so tired of being neglected and ignored and made out to be the angry hysterical woman for holding men accountable.

I'm so fucking tired.

[hello-dolly]

Playing with fire