since starting the summer i have been thinking about a lot, and honestly it has been solidifying my decision to stay at college next summer.
every summer i have been home, i love my family and hometown friends, but i feel like my time here is done. I am always considering everyone, but i feel as if no one considers me in the same way (if that makes sense).
I always babysit for my tia, she has 3 boys, and i love them with all my heart! they are the cutest, sweetest things in the world. I don't mind taking care of them and spending time with them, but honestly it feels like my tia only calls or texts me when she needs something. Last summer, we would have sleepovers, go to the zoo, the pool, and even the stores like target.
now it just feels differently, she has been going through some things, so i am trying not to take it personally. I take care of my cousins for free because, they're my family, and i love them, but it is just such a big job to take care of 3 kids 6 and under. Yes it is obviously a big job because there's 3 of them and one of me.
So when i was at home, my cousin, G (6), asked me if i could watch him and his brothers while his mom got her nails done, i said yes of course, and when i went over i got them chick fil a. the boys were making a mess so i said, " hey guys please pick up your mess! i don't want mommy to come home to a mess", and G says "you can't tell me what to do, my house, my rules!". I was a little annoyed because I don't like being repetitive and i don't want to be mean and yell at them.
I told their mom what he said, because he said it multiple times, and she said "oh, well it is true, it is his house!", and that just made me so annoyed and upset because I am trying to help, and get the kids settled, and to just dismiss it like its nothing?
A few days after my mom was on the phone (their mom is my mom sister, so naturally), and my tia had told her "Every time she (author) comes over, she always leaves a mess!". Mind you I helped her clean up the food and toys from off the floor, i did the best i could. i literally told her i tried my best to help her clean up, and even told the boys to help pick up their mess.
It is honestly so frustrating when I am helping my tia get some free time for herself, and i get chewed out for no reason.
A few weeks ago my mom told me that my tia said my EYEBROWS were ugly because theyre so thin. FIRST of all, they're my eyebrows, second of all, i do not care.
I don't know what to do anymore, im trying to find a job, so i can have money, but so far its just been babysitting. I also babysit for my tia's neighbor, she actually pays me.
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