HE WAS A WEAPON. HIS LIFE WAS A WAR.

Formerly a bitch boy vampire; currently a very human, ass-kicking Nightstalker. I hunt and kill suckheads in a shit ton of creative ways. So go ahead, make my fucking day. I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU

[deamonassassin]

Blades and Alcohol (Hannibal/Phoenix)

Continued from here

@hellomynameisfuckyou

[text] Ever played that pokey stabby hand game?

[text] Turns out whiskey makes it much harder to aim haha

[text] See you soon 🤪

[text]: I have...

[text]: Wait, how are you typing?

[text]: Nevermind, come on over.

"Greg! Get the medic! Han's on the way!"

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

[text] It’s not ALL the fingers.

[text] Already in route.

It’s not too long after when the doors of Serenity fly open, Hannibal casually strolling inside. His right fist is haphazardly wrapped in bloodied gauze but he’s otherwise cool as a cucumber. In his other fist is a clear plastic Starbucks cup filled with ice and a distinctly fleshy nubbin that bounces jovially around as the ice shakes and rattles with each step he takes. Taking a seat at the bar he sets the finger cup in front of him and waits for his opportunity to place his drink order with the bartender.

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

What’s that redheaded blur coming towards him? It it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Tyler slamming into him with a tackle hug.

Hannibal can’t help but smile even as a clump of grass and dirt is spat from his mouth.

“Ya know, eating shit wasn’t exactly on my agenda today…but I’m so glad we could find the time to pencil in this precious moment together.”

“What the fuck would I do without you, Birdy?”

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

[text] Fuck yeah. I knew the tacos would seal the deal.

[text] Meet me at 40.719471, -73.987152.

[text] Shit hold on that’s the taco place.

[text] Fuck it just meet me outside in 20.

[ask-alicelockwood]

[ @hellomynameisfuckyou ]

[ text; Hannibal ]: They always do.

[ text; Hannibal ]: Is this a grenades kind of buffet?

[ text; Hannibal ]: Or should I save those for some other time?

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

[text] YES. Bring the ones filled with the teeny tiny lil silver razorblades.

[text] Leave the UV bombs at home.

[text] I’m in the mood to see them bleed before they ash.

[ask-alicelockwood]

[ @hellomynameisfuckyou ]

[text] That’s my girl.

[text] Bring your favorite toys and an appetite. I have an all-you-can-gank buffet waiting just for us.

[text] And after, we’re getting tacos.

[ text; Hannibal ]: You charmer. How could I ever resist all that?

[ text; Hannibal ]: See you in 20. 😉

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

[text] Fuck yeah. I knew the tacos would seal the deal.

[text] Meet me at 40.719471, -73.987152.

[text] Shit hold on that’s the taco place.

[text] Fuck it just meet me outside in 20.

[soupy-sez]

BLADE (1998) dir. Stephen Norrington

[mark-hoffmans]

Blade: Trinity (2004) dir. David S. Goyer

[deamonassassin]

@hellomynameisfuckyou replied to your post: “You rang?”

“Well, that depends…What are we bubbling? Cotton Candy? Lavender Lane? Cherry Blossom? Orchid Orgasms? What’s your sudsy poison tonight?”

She chuckles as she moves closer to the side of the tub. “Plot twist, its actually vanilla and honey. I like to keep it simple on my nights off. That, and my normal stuff is pretty pricey. Come on in, you look like you could use a little TLC.”

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

“Always keepin’ me on my toes, huh?” A grin spread across his face, his worn brown leather coat landing on the misty tile with a dull thud. Each step closer he took was accompanied by a euphony of clothes and weapons hitting the bathroom floor. It took very little coercion to get Hannibal into the tub next to Phi, and he wasted no time in leaning in close, lips barely hovering above hers...only to lift his chin and blow a poof of bubbles off the tip of her nose. “TLC me up, baby. But nothing too abrasive, okay? No scrubs.” 

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

not worth the tassel {greg & hannah}

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

deamonassassin‌:

Keep reading

There was something so amusing about Greg when he was frustrated, like a hot stove she just wanted to keep prodding despite getting burned. She gasped as her hair was pulled, though just as quickly the edges of her mouth pulled themselves into a smirk. One hand gripped the wooden edge of the desk for support, the other finding his tie and winding it around her palm, giving it a light teasing yank. “So what you’re saying is--” It was getting more difficult to keep her composure, body eagerly responding to his talented fingers, a fluttering moan slipping out despite her best efforts. “You’re saying I’m your favourite?” The grin was back, eyes slipping shut to disguise how her pupils had rolled themselves back into her skull. “Let’s go straight to lesson three. And maybe if you fuck me good enough I’ll let you clean up with lesson two. If I’m feeling sweet after all that we can finish with lesson one.” 

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

🎃

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

deamonassassin‌:

It isn’t often that someone can make her blush, but she’s so glad she’s wearing a mask. Phi leans in close to the hunter, purring in his ear. “No need to stroke my ego, Han. I was already thinking about using the collar.” Phi pulls back, grabbing a glass of ‘redrum’ from a passing waitress. “But I do find it amusing that they all think I’d say yes when every before I say no.”

She takes a sip of her drink, offering the unique drink to her lover as she watched the end of the dangerous performance. “Nothing. I worked my ass off to get everything ready for this weekend, and now I’m gonna relax and enjoy it. And what about you? What do you have planned for the night?”

“Hey, I’m just stating facts, not blowing smoke. Though if your majesty permits it I’m sure we could fit in some stroking later.” The way he wiggled his eyebrows was obscured by his mask, but his smirk was just as expressive. “I get where they’re coming from. You miss every shot you don’t take, right? At least they had the cajones to try.”

Happily draining the glass, he reclined back into his seat more, eyes slowly grazing over the hedonistic party that swirled around them as if they were the calm eye of a hurricane. “Me? I thought I’d come scope things out here for a while, hang out with you, have a good time, take a cat nap and then go out and blow the brains out of as many bloodsucking fucks that get in my way, maybe hit a hive if I’m feeling squirrel-y. The ush.”  

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

ask-alicelockwood‌:

As Sweet As Blood Red Jam || Alibbal

[ @hellomynameisfuckyou ]

Arms outstretched, Alice writhed in time with the music, the frothy, dark red tulle of her skirt swishing around her legs as she moved.  Knees bending, she sunk lower and ground her hips in a filthy circle, then followed the same path with a turn as she repeated the motion, leading with her right hip.  Each of the multitude of garnet-coloured rhinestones scattered along the tulle winked in the strobing lights, tossing flickering spots of red onto the dancers nearest to her.

She brought her arms down slowly, dragging them through the air until her fingers brushed the crown of flowers and pomegranates pinned in her hair.  Cupping a pomegranate with one hand, Alice tipped her head back, staring up at the dark rigging that criss-crossed the roof.  The other hand trailed along her neck, then down her chest, before she reached it forward and snapped her head upright.

Her gaze cut through the crowd, finding Hannibal in the VIP area where they’d ensconced themselves earlier.  The whites of Alice’s eyes bled to red, green irises shifting gold as she crooked her finger at him and smiled.  She dragged her lip over the double fangs that pushed their way out of her gums, breaking the skin.  Red trailed down her chin as she beckoned him to join her on the floor, a single drop hitting her chest and rolling into the neckline of her dress, soaking into the tulle.

Tonight promised to be a night they’d remember. A night that would live with crystal clear clarity in their memories no matter how many eternities they walked and clawed their way through together. ...Or at least, that’s what Alice had whispered in his ear to get him to agree to a party. That, and the promise of a blood bath--and not just the corn syrup and red dye #40 versions you see on late night cable TV in October. 

From his perch, Hannibal had his eyes glued on her since the red neon lights around the dance floor had first set the shimmering stones on her dress alight in a dazzle of sparkling embers. His weren’t the only ocular pair affixed on her though, every pathetic wet scrap of flesh in the general vicinity had been drooling and gawking as well. It took everything he had not to snap all their necks and set them on fire. But the former promise of fun in due time kept him at bay.

 Rising from his throne, he heeded Alice’s call. Glad he had chosen a sensible costume in the form of a crimson red smoking jacket overtop a black button up and a black tie. It was way less cumbersome to grow and style a mustache than to don a costume like the guy who had fashioned himself a cardboard robot suit painted in gold that called himself ‘C3-P-bro’ and practically tripped over himself every time he took a step. Which was a good excuse for how he ended up skidding across the floor on his front and nailing his head on the baseboard when he stupidly weeble-wobbled into Hannibal’s path. 

Though he approached the hybrid on the dance floor from behind, he knew there would be no shock or surprise. Alice was always twelve steps ahead of him, especially on a night as carefully orchestrated as this one. Hands finding real estate on her hips, he moved his body in time with hers, lips pressing a kiss to the rivulet of blood that ran down her throat. 

“Looks like you’re having a good time being belle of the horror ball. but if I stick around too long you’ll lose all your drooling dip-shitted suitors. Tragic.” 

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

‘ You don’t have any idea of what I’m capable of. ‘ (Del)

AHS: Asylum Prompts!

“Think I understand it pretty well by now. Werewolf, pointy things, secret society, Illuminati blah blah blah…”

“I stand by what I said. Your left hook is sloppy.”

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

🎃

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

deamonassassin‌:

She raises an eyebrow under her mask, chuckling softly. “It’s cute you assume that was a promise and not a guarantee. And you act like they can’t find someone else to fuck. Just because I said no doesn’t mean I’m the only option in the room.” The last bit is said louder for the others to hear, a few of her girls coming in to take some of their attention away. “Good, this wouldn’t have been as much fun without you, your haunting majesty.”

“You’re right about that. There’s plenty of almond joys and butterfingers to go around, that’s for sure. But you?” Hannibal toyed with the stirring stick in his drink, a grin splattering onto his face as the fire dancers performed a particularly daunting trick. “You’re a king-size candy bar in a land of fun sizes. You’re on the top of everyone’s trick or treat list.” Polishing off his glass, he graciously handed it off to the servers who were always more than attentive. 

“So, what’s the queen of Halloween got on her agenda tonight?” 

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

not worth the tassel {greg & hannah}

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

deamonassassin‌:

“And yet, you’re still wrong. I’m only a few years older than you.” Fingers trail up her knees, slowly making their way to her thighs, spreading them wider and closer to the edge of the desk. His chuckle is more of a low growl as he leans closer, nipping at her lower lip. “How irresponsible of you, leaving yourself unprotected.” Greg leans the rest of the way, closing the gap to kiss her. His digits find themselves at the apex of her thighs, teasing the smooth skin, but only dipping the tip of his index inside before pulling back. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m irresponsible. I know. That’s how we ended up here in the first place, remember?” The kiss sent shivers down her spine and she gradually laid back against the desk, a few forms and a half-empty box of paperclips fluttering to the ground. A smooth leg wrapped around him, pulling him in closer as she writhed against him. “So are you gonna teach me a lesson...or what?”

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

‘ Skin to skin contact. That’s what I was craving, that’s what I was missing. ‘

AHS: Asylum Prompts!

“Shit, if that’s all you wanted I could always chop off a chunk and leave it here for you.”

“Ooor I guess I could try and chop a few days off my trips. Take your pick.”

[vaememes]

✧    AHS   :   ASYLUM   PROMPTS   !  

*  A MIXTURE OF AHS ASYLUM PROMPTS , CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS AS NEEDED .

‘ Do you think I’m full of shame and regret for what I’ve done now, Sister? ‘

‘ Mental illness is the fashionable explanation for sin. ‘

‘ There is no God. Not a God who would create the things I saw. ‘

‘ Your story about little green men? That won’t do here. ‘

‘ They weren’t human. They were monsters. ‘

‘ All monsters are human. You’re a monster. ‘

‘ Let me give you fair warning: I’ll always win against the patriarchal male. ‘

‘ I’ve dealt with bigger monsters than you, ______. ‘

‘ I have a cucumber in my room. But not because I was hungry. ‘

‘ Might we speak privately about the conditions here? ‘

‘ Conditions? What conditions might those be? ‘

‘ Bend me over a bread rack and pound me into shape! ‘

‘ Please. I just want to feel the sun on my skin. I’ll do anything. ‘

‘ You’re a dirty little slut with a poisonous tongue. ‘

‘ The times may have changed, ________, but the nature of evil has not. ‘

‘ I admired her purity. Her innocence. I never had any, even as a boy.  ‘

‘ Now? But the Christians are about to be eaten! ‘

‘ You tried to fly away, so I had to clip your wings. ‘

‘ Are the police pursuing a case against him? ‘

‘ Just a moment. Where are you getting this information? ‘

‘ But there’s mounting evidence that this man is a war criminal. ‘

‘ When I was a child, I’d come home after school to an empty house. ‘

‘ I certainly hope you’re not blaming yourself. ‘

‘ Skin to skin contact. That’s what I was craving, that’s what I was missing. ‘

‘ When they arrived here, these patients were less than men.. ‘

‘ Now, because of me, they’re more than human. ‘

‘ I know everything. I’m the Devil. ‘

‘ I come when I’m called. That’s what I do, _____. ‘

‘ What do you take me for, an idiot? Huh? ‘

‘ You might expect to remain in irons for the rest of your life. ‘

‘ Are you ready for me? ‘

‘ Well, I don’t want to be in your shitty picture, then. ‘

‘ Rubies are the most glamorous of all. ‘

‘ I knew someday I’d meet someone who was worthy of their exceptional beauty. ‘

‘ Look how beautiful they are on me. They bring out the rose in my cheeks. ‘

‘ I don’t believe in God. But I do believe in evil. ‘

‘ So you’ll spend the next couple days here, reflecting on your behavior. ‘

‘ How can I reflect when my hand’s tied down? ’

‘ There’s going be some changes around here, starting with that. ‘

‘ If you’re not going to tell me then I’ll just have to find out for myself, won’t I? ‘

‘ Just remember if you look in the face of evil, evil’s gonna look right back at you. ‘

‘ You don’t have any idea of what I’m capable of. ‘

‘ So I guess you’ve had a pretty great life, huh? ‘

‘ It’s about to end. You get that, right? ‘

‘ Babycakes, I’m only just starting to toy with you. ‘

‘ You’re one tough cookie, you know that? ‘

‘ Every time I think about her, I wanna do things! Bad things! ‘

‘ I want it burned down and the Earth salted! ‘

‘ I’m goddamn plucky, remember? ‘

‘ At the very worst, I’ll live a long life in prison. ‘

‘ I’m clearly insane. I’ll be institutionalized. ‘

‘ God knows, there are some disturbed individuals behind bars. ‘

‘ You have no idea what it means to have lost you. ‘

‘ Why didn’t I listen to you? Why was I so stubborn? ‘

‘ Should I confess and walk away from my beloved Church and my dream? ‘

‘ You think they’d allow you to continue your barbaric practice? ‘

‘ I’m struggling with whether I should renounce my vows. ‘

‘ I tried to resist, but I don’t know where else to turn. ‘

‘ They’ll take you, open up your head, and stir your brain with a fork. ‘

‘ She’s destroyed you. And now she’s destroyed me. ‘

‘ They tied me up and paraded me in front of a judge. ‘

‘ Are they family heirlooms? ‘

‘ I don’t want to be any part of your damn lie. ‘

‘ I can either cut your throat or I can strangle you. I don’t believe in guns. ‘

‘ I’ve succeeded beyond my wildest imagination.  ‘

‘ And her skin, even after I removed it, was cold. And stiff. ‘

‘ Normally, by now, I would’ve removed the skin and head. ‘

‘ You can begin by kissing her cold lips. Don’t worry. She won’t bite. ‘

‘ You’re gonna write about this. You’re gonna win a Pulitzer Prize. ‘

‘ I just want to go outside for fifteen minutes in the sun. ‘

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

not worth the tassel {greg & hannah}

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

deamonassassin‌:

He remains still as she approaches, avoiding his want to stare at her hips that sway with every step. “Of course I looked, even a gay man would look with the way you put them on display.” The Brit’s reply to the puppy treatment is to growl at the woman, repressing a shiver her touch seems to bring out of him. He starts to move his head away from her hand only to pause when his ear was at her mercy. “Its cute that you think everyone I protect is as innocent as sheep.” He disregards the ‘lil’ comment, suddenly in the mood to prove her wrong. Placing both feet on the ground, Greg moves to stand in front of her, shifting her legs to find a home between them. “I don’t know if I should show you what I can do, or kick you out for quoting Yoda.”

“You always take everything I say seventeen steps the wrong way. I wasn’t even thinking about the sheep part. Mostly the ‘old English’ part.” She happily let Greg invade her space, her already way too short black dress ruching higher up her legs. Her hands found his tie, twirling it around her fingers to draw him closer. “Come on. Loosen up. Live a little. Embrace the anger bang.” Her lips a hair away from his she clicked her teeth in the threat of a bite, though the smile that followed betrayed her. “By the way, in the hustle and bustle tonight I seem to have misplaced my panties. If you find them later, let me know.” 

[hellomynameisfuckyou]

🎃

@deamonassassin

It says a lot about their relationship that she can recognize the Nightstalker just by the way he moves, it takes everything she has to keep her air of boredom around those she rejected. Although she’s seen him in a suit before, it never stops from taking her breath away at how well he cleans up, even with the make hiding most of his handsome features.

“Dungeon #82 actually, she says the chairs and tables have softer leather.” She smirks, leaning back in her chair as she crosses one leg over the other. “Well Han, you look good enough to strip down, tie to a bed and ride for hours. Glad you could make it.” The Madame offers the chair next to her, ignoring the failed suitors that were glaring daggers at Hannibal.

“Fire inspector knows best, I assume,” he chuckled, nodding graciously to the server who offered him a glimmering orange drink off a tray as he took one. “Now, now. Don’t go making promises you can’t keep. I can see you’re a...” he looked around, grinning at all the eyes upon him. “...a busy woman. What with dealing with all these assholes.” He gladly took the seat, taking a healthy drink from his glass. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, your spooky highness.”