I have contamination and mutants in my brain

Catgirl Goatgirl Weirdgirl (pfp by @vapboy) (born 2004, you can do the math)

[hustlerose]

Thought you ought to read this. It’s a callout post for Steven Universe. 

[monstertsunami]

sinktaur .. @crazysodomite

[cottoncatkommissar-deactivated2]

How i feel

[cannibalchicken]

[dehydratedbunny]

reblog to do this to the person you reblogged this from

[janmisali]

legalize copyright infringement

[iwontusethis255]

this happens btw

[iwontusethis255]

would yall believe me if i said this was an accident and i forgot tranny was a word let alone a slur

[pymq]

cringe dinner

[catgirl-kaiju]

The year is 2035, The Ratmen have revealed their existence to the world after the leaving The Underground in search of delicious cheeses. President Smash of the United Federal Colonies declares their residence illegal despite a lack of interest from The Ratmen in immigrating to the UFC's majestic sludgelands. Meanwhile, researchers in Neo-Mexico invent a type of body that revolutionizes the world of competitive spikeball despite its intended purpose as a way to make sex more efficient.

[catgirl-kaiju]

Warlord Vos Thresher declares his independent run for Governor Prime in the Northwest United Territories after his warparty successfully invaded and annexed Wyoming into his controlled territories. His platform includes such policies as annexation into the Vos Empire, mercy from his powerful warparty, and increased municipal funding for infrastructure maintenance.

Meanwhile, an excursion to the previously quarantined Manhattan Islands has discovered an uncontacted tribe of water-cabbies driving pre-war yellow taxi cabs retrofitted to be seafaring. Their way of life is nomadic, migrating between the islands in search of their main source of meat, sea rats, and mythological figures they call "passengers". Members of the tribe seemed to be unphased by the arrival of the research expedition, saying they've "seen everything". The tribe, called the YeCebbi, are currently at war with a second tribe known as the Mets. Little is known about the Mets, as attempts to contact them have resulted in the death of 2 members of the expedition.

[catgirl-kaiju]

The United States of America federal government hosts its 10th annual bake sale to fund the repair of US President Pedro Pascal's toilet after an international incident involving the Prime Minister of Mega Switzerland. The Whitehouse has also stated that they are going to be hosting a garage sale later this week to fund a prospective purchase of the Lincoln Memorial back from the Coca-Cola Corporation.

Texas is now rejoining Neo Mexico after yet another unsuccessful attempt at independence following armed action by the Neo-Mexican military to reinforce their ban on slavery. This action was taken in response to a law passed in Texas that would have allowed for Texan businesses to own prisoners of war. Texas returns to Mexico after failure to start a war with any of its neighbors.

Florida is in the news again today as its population of genetically engineered dinosaurs, originally created by Amazonmart-Universal-Warner Brothers-Discovery for their planned Jurassic World theme park, has begun to expand into The United Kingdoms of Alabama, causing tensions to raise between the two nations.

[catgirl-kaiju]

The year is 2045, excavations on mars revealed evidence of a lost civilization. These Martians apparently left little trace of their presence after a global nuclear war and failed attempts to correct a climate crisis caused their extinction, leveled their cities, and left Mars devoid of any life until human teraforming efforts. Experts are dismayed, saying that it's simply too late in this Post-WWIV era for us to learn any important historical lessons from their death and suffering. A collection of Martian artifacts and remains are being transported back to Earth to be displayed in The British Museum.

In other news, a vintage can of Pepsi cola was found embedded in an asteroid in our solar system's asteroid belt. This raises many questions, not the least of which is "Who the hell drinks Pepsi?".

Up next, do computer viruses deserve rights?

[trangoldin]

[voidflower-xcii]

[therenobee]

when I see breasts

[fallingtowers]

there are some pretty good chalkboard gags in the early simpsons seasons but my favorite so far is definitely the one where bart is writing "i am not a 32-year-old woman" like aw honey don't worry. you will be

[parliamentrook]

I can now say with confidence the worst pasta shape to spill in your pantry is acini de pepe

[hymnism]

[delicate-viscera]

what if she was a mousegirl and her name was hatsune squeaku

[chimeracauldron]

out for coffee

[bgm05]

the reason usa birth rates going down is because we have a whole generation of women whose sexual awakening was Sans undertale and none of the men want to wear jorts and drink ketchup and go Er er er

[mino2aur]

do i want to come to "the circus"? (apprehensive) describe it with two adjectives first