Untitled

[handcuffedconvict]

[marc-stripes]

compliant inmate

[helloworldsquare]

Life is better with a deactivated facebook account and your phone on airplane mode. Do both now

[helloworldsquare]

Have no doubt: the campaign to sack Misan Harriman is part of an assault on black figures in public life | Afua Hirsch | The Guardian

Have no doubt: the campaign to sack Misan Harriman is part of an assault on black figures in public life | Afua Hirsch

The move against the boss of London’s Southbank Centre sends a forbidding message about who is and isn’t seen as fit to lead in UK culture,

The telegraph is gross

[helloworldsquare]

Norcross call in the corridor, far away in the north. You had a panic attack. I later learned you were caught by your sister.

Norcross long walk to the station

Long train to Oxford road

Horrid halls

I should have gone to canal street

[helloworldsquare]

When I hadn't a job lined up and mum was ill after graduation

I kinda knew mum was enjoying the sickness identity

I found solace in reading John Hull's book on financial economics

[helloworldsquare]

Staying at upper street

Walking to the library, I saw a couple screaming at each other

I felt like crashing in econometrics paper

Why did I do a hard paper?

Should have done black scholes paper

[helloworldsquare]

The day I went to university, leaving home: screamed at me over a plastic box used for moving stuff to halls

Graduation: still drama, can't remember which parent caused the drama. Awkward moment bumping into a friend at Finchley central station afterwards on the way home

[helloworldsquare]

Osterley, near Heathrow

But before...

VE day celebrations in May 1995, in Hyde Park. A concert, Cliff Richard was there. I was 10 with my mum and maybe my dad.

Met another boy and he was called Syad. His mum mentioned we should come over to her home in Osterley the following weekend.

I remember it was really fun, but I remember knowing the parents regretted inviting me and my mum. Awkwardness, but I had fun even though Syad might have not really wanted to be friends or his parents may have not influenced him to be my friend.

The house was a nice home, large proportion garden, a nice suburban house before Heathrow was built and but after the Piccadilly expanded, making the middle class come here.

I remember it really well-ish, but I didn't really get to go in other people's homes that often as a child

[helloworldsquare]

There is a possibility that Akbar Shamji and Indian Dave had a very intense relationship with Zac Brettler, could have been sexual or intense platonic one, something queer.

I think there is a lot of young people like Zac, who find it easier to live in a pretend world.

I met a Grindr date who said he went to Eton, like fuck he did.

There is a scam artist called Bertie who claimed to be aristocratic and prey on both genders. I think a Grindr date I met a few years ago was a victim of his, he was a sad man who voted for Brexit, so I didn't feel too sorry for him.

[helloworldsquare]

I think I inherited my AuADHD from my mum, in hindsight my dad is pretty neuro typical, maybe dyslexic

[helloworldsquare]

I hated that I had no control in coming out to my parents

A friend called Amy wrote a comment in my birthday card and my parents read it.

Fuck, I didn't get any control on this.

Kids need to be able to tell their parents when it is safe for them

My mum also never respected my boundaries either or my decisions

[helloworldsquare]

I was such a lonely gay boy who was really lost after graduation, that I joined a bible study group. You feel love from these people but it is not real as they never accepted the real me. I sometimes think there is alot of people out there who get trapped like this and don't know how to live their real life.

20 years later, I feel sorry for the younger me, but I also understand what happened. He didn't know what I know now.

Years later, I would find out the boy from the university library who encouraged me to go to his church service was probably gay too

[helloworldsquare]

I had a friend who I met 2003, LSE SU basement bar for LGBTQ night (but there were less letterd than, because we were more blind then)

He was a good friend and I think we were good friends. But he got ick with me in 2011 and I never saw him again.

I think it was because I was dated a much older man or I was an odd undiagnosed autistic person

I tried to contact him over the years but I think he has willingly doesn't want to see me

I am an odd person and I think he has friends who didn't like me in a mean girl kinda way and I was spoken about as some weird person that should be given a wide berth

I miss you, not romantically, I miss the friendship that never came to grow and I miss that I never saw you grow. Or you never saw me grow.

I really wanted to be your friend but we were friends and that was something

Sorry for not asking Ai to do the grammar, I just don't want AI read this

[helloworldsquare]

Does anyone think Indian Dave is still alive? Reading London falling: no public record of his death as Matt Brettler insinuated.