I do not write for darkship or proship, fuck you weirdos.
Chapter 3: Wakey Wakey Eggs N’ Snakey!
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Cross-posted to AO3!
The sun shines through the cracks of the curtains, providing a dimly lit bedroom. The small bit of light managed to make its way to my face. I scrunched my nose and turned around on the bed. I let out a small muffled groan and slowly opened my eyes.
Honestly, I'd expected to see the same empty bedroom I've always had. Instead I was met with small yellow eyes staring directly back into mine, I immediately sat up.
It's one of the egg guys Sir Pentious brought with him last night. He must've came over this morning. I smiled at not only the new information, but also the adorable egg boy in front of me. He just sat there on my bed and looked at me with a goofy smile. "I've never seen a living person before!" He spoke goofily.
I opened my mouth to say something, but then heard some shuffling from the other side of the room. Looking over I saw the demon himself digging through my closet. I quickly made sure to properly cover myself with the blanket. "Hey- what are you doing??" I called to the demon.
He stopped and quickly turned around, an equally shocked look on his face. "I- uh, I-" He sputtered for a moment. "I am... looking for one of my egg bois!" He suddenly spoke with the shake of his head, though even I could tell he wasn't too sure of that himself. "Yes, he jumped into your closet!"
I raised an eyebrow at the reasoning, but before I could say anything, one of the egg bois suddenly blurted. "I thought you were looking for a weapon, or something that proves the Liver has different plans!" As he gestured to me. Sir Pentious bit his bottom lip in cartoony frustration.
"Shut up!!" He shouted, pointing a finger at the poor egg. The little guy pouted. I gasped and reached down to pat his shell, and he looked at me with a smile like he just forgot what happened. I turned back to Sir Pentious. "Soooooo... weapons? Something that proves I have 'different plans'?" I provoked curiously.
He just sighed dramatically and frustratingly, putting a hand over his face. "How else am I supposed to know if you want to betray me or not!" He pulled on the skin of his face as he explained. I blinked slowly and mumbled. "Well I don't... is the thing.." Honestly I don't even think I'm capable of physically harming him if I tried, but something tells me saying that wouldn't make him feel any less distrustful.....
"And HOWWW do you expect me to just trust you like that?" With a huff he crossed his arms and turned his back to me. 'The dramatics with this guy, oh my god...' I held in a giggle at the thought. "Maybeeeee because I let you roam free in my place, seems pretty intimate.. I'm sure if I was planning to kill you I wouldn't have done that..." I tried to tease, although it wasn't really appreciated.
He didn't budge. He just stayed silent.
I sighed. 'This isn't going as well as I hoped..' It never even crossed my mind that the demon would have trust issues, but I guess what I summon is what I get so I shouldn't get upset. This could be.. fixable. He just needs a little encouragement!
"...how about some trust exercises, y'know like get to know each other? Tell me about yourself, likeee.. what's your ideal breakfast?"
He was silent for a while before turning his head. "....Well, I like a spread of marmalade on toast... with an omelette.. baked beans and some freshly squeezed lemon juice if I'm feeling fancy!" He eventually leaned into it with a smile, as he turned around and puffed out his chest. Alright, a good start!
"That actually sounds pretty good.." I mumbled, before I went ahead and told him my own ideal breakfast. He considered if he'd like it too, with a small smile but eventually just shook his head, he's sticking to his own answer.
The two of us continued with questions and each other's answers. He learned so much about me, and I learned so much about him. He claimed to be an "overlord" in Hell, which I just assumed that probably meant he's a helluva lot more powerful than the average demon, maybe even got an army aside from his minions. Definitely what I expected from a demon though.. and hot…
He also said he's not surprised that I had summoned him specifically, which.. I tried to interrupt and tell him I didn't really choose what demon I was summoning it just so happened that the offering I chose brought him, but he just kept going. He went on about how in Hell he's very popular with the ladies and even the gentlemen, how they all just THROW THEMSELVES at him like wild animals, but he's just too busy with his work for a love life.. "but I ssssuppose I could clear out my calendar for you.." He smiled cockily, adjusting his bow tie neatly.
'God he's an adorable liar, he actually thinks I believe all this bullshit.. how gullible does he think I am?' I thought as he went on about how he debated on making everyone a part of his harem, but ultimately decided against it. I just let him go on, I didn't wanna burst his bubble. Honestly, for a serpent, it's kinda funny how bad his lies are.
By the time he was done boasting about how he's one of the most powerful overlords in hell, how he's buddies with Lucifer, he was laying on his stomach at the foot of the bed. If he had legs they'd be kicking like a teenage girl when she neglects the kid she's babysitting to call her boyfriend. The egg bois were gathered around on the bed and floor nearby, all staring at him longingly, as if he's just telling a bedtime story.
At some point though he paused and looked out the window. "Wait! What time is it?" I just looked at my clock and answered "uhh.. 8am?" confused. He then let out a shriek and frantically gathered a few of his egg minions, seeming to have forgotten something back in Hell.
"WellIapologizefortherush,dear,butIreallyhavetogoIhaveathingandifidontdoitimgonnagetmyneckslitokaybyeeeee!!!!!" He basically shouted at me before I could process what he was even saying, as he then scrambled into the summoning circle. It gleamed red as he disappeared into the floor. The last few egg bois followed shortly after, but not before they waved goodbye.
I just waved back as I slowly processed what Pentious told me. "...he called me 'dear'!" I beamed as I flew back into bed, and kicked my feet in the air excitedly. Some squealing continued that.
Unfortunately the rest of the day was pretty boring. I got ready for the day, showered, ate breakfast, went to work and came back home like 9 hours later. I then graced myself with a nice, long shower to wash the shame of the day down the drain.
I walked in my room naked, already dried off. I forgot to bring clothes into the bathroom before I got in the shower again.
My room was still a MESS from this morning, clothes strewn about everywhere, things from my dresser knocked on the floor, drawers open and such. Why did my new hot demon boyfriend decide the best way to figure out if I'm gonna betray him or not was to destroy my room? It's just rude....
Oh well, trust issues be damned.
Quickly threw a some clothes on me, but as I pulled my bottoms up my legs I heard some rustling behind me. I turned around and only saw a pile of my dirty clothing in the corner, the one mess that's actually my fault. I stared at it suspiciously for a moment, only to notice it looked like something was moving under it. Baffled, I walked over and snatched a shirt off the top of the pile.
Right there, with a sock lying on his head, was a stray egg boi. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. 'Was he sleeping this whole time?' I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. "What are you doing here? Watching me change, you little pervert?" He looked up at me and then looked around. "Hi, Liver! Where's the boss?" He asked as the signature doofus smile rested on his face.
My demeanor stiffened for a second, I just rubbed my neck and looked at the summoning circle. "Uh. He had to go back to hell, he needed to go do something." And aw man, it was almost as if I told a housewife that her husband had died on the battlefield. He looked up at me again with a gasp and a frown. "What? ...he forgot about me? When will he be back?"
"I don't know, he just kinda dipped, and honestly I don't even think he knew you were in my dirty clothes." I shrugged. He just pouted and looked down at the pile he sat in. My heart broke right there. 'These guys are even more adorable when they're sad!!!' I thought as I quickly bent down and picked him up. He let out a small chirp of surprise as I held him in my arms like a baby. "Awww it's okay, buddy!" I cooed. "You still have me to spend time with!"
He batted his eyes as hope was brought back into them. "I got a few board games, some puzzles, coloring books.." I began to list off, trying to cheer him up and see what he wants to do now. "We can also watch some tv, orrrrr..... I got crafting supplies, we can start crafting stuff for when the big bad snake boss comes back!" His eyes immediately lit up.
Aoh, I did mot know that. Thought Goetia was just their race rather than a family line, makes Stella and Stolas a smidge awkward to look at them. :/
Yea unfortunately, to my knowledge you can correct me if I’m wrong, in Viv’s rendition the Ars Goetia is a family line built of bird-like demons (which are a completely separate species of demon).
To my knowledge Stella isn’t related to Stolas, but I unfortunately have my doubts about them NOT being related at least a little bit. Historically, royal families love inbreeding
Side note but this is sort of the reason why I cannot stand Vassago x Andrealphus, Stella married into the family, Vassago is implied to be one of Stolas’s relatives so that would probably make them cousins in law
Or maybe they’re already related idk again, historically, royal families love to inbreed
Hrm, could I have some Beezlebub x hellhound reader? Maybe her and Vortex broke up and she chose them as her new lover, maybe could include some yandere aspects if you're fine with that as maybe she doesn't want to lose them.
Yandere! Beelzebub x Hellhound! Reader
Relationship headcanons (SFW)
MASTERLIST (find other fanfics here!)
⚠️CONTENT WARNINGS⚠️ Some angst in the beginning. Mention of excessive alcohol and drug use. Possessive behavior and violent monologues but that’s typical for Yandere characters. Some light pet play but nothing explicit.
Cross posted to AO3!
🍯🎉🐝🍯🎉🐝🍯🎉🐝🍯🎉🐝🍯🎉🐝🍯🎉🐝
She was so heartbroken when Vortex broke things off. It was a very sobering experience for her. She may be very inclusive when it comes to lower life forms but she’s still a sin, just the concept of someone lower than her status to be the one to end things… it’s very humbling. It made her feel like she was less than what she is.
So she partied. Harder than she ever had, which is saying a lot. She drank and drank and drank, until she blacked out every night. She over indulged on her own sin until the flavor of her parties became that of ash from a fire.
At one particular party she had been going at it pretty hard. She started to come to, after another blackout, and felt a hand slowly rubbing her back. That’s when she saw you. A single worried hellhound in a sea of drunk & high hellhounds and imps.
🍯 You became the light in her life. You helped her get better the following few months, you’re so sweet and patient with her, and the flavor of her parties started tasting amazing again. She never wants to let this go, to let you go.
🍯 She let you move into her place pretty early on, and your life has changed pretty significantly since.
🍯 You share clothes, though her’s are a little big on you and yours are a little small on her. She doesn’t care though, she just shrinks herself down to fit.
🍯 She gets you breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert every day. Whether it be at a restaurant, take out or made by her, she makes sure you never miss out on a meal! She also always makes sure you have something to snack on if you’re a snacking person.
🍯 You’re consistently dragged along to sin events she gets invited to, even though a few other sins in particular always complain about how it’s supposed to a ‘pleb-free zone’.
🍯 Very protective. She will defend you and the relationship very passionately if and when any of the other sins, or literally anyone else, makes a negative comment. She may even go big boss mode.
🍯 You weirdly enjoy it whenever she’s angry and goes into her big form. She’s just so stunning, even when she wants to rip someone’s head off……and especially if it’s on your behalf…
🍯 She always calls you her “good pup” and leans into the hellhound aspect of the power imbalance. If you’re into wearing a collar with her name on the back and eating from a bowl she’ll give you everything you need to make that fantasy come to life.
🍯 Her parties are crazy but she always makes sure that you’re not hurting yourself or being hurt by anyone else. She can’t have that. Anytime you seem to be blacking out she’ll just replace your booze with water or snatch the drugs away when you’re not looking, and keep you close for the rest of the night.
🍯 She lets you sleep in bed with her. She’s a giant cuddle bug, even if she’s upset with you it’s just a fact that she’s going to cuddle you in bed. You’ll always find yourself falling asleep with the feeling of four arms wrapped around you and soft breathing against your neck.
🍯 She loves buying stuff for you, she’s a big gift giver. She’ll always make sure you have something to remind yourself that she loves you.
🍯 When you get sick she’ll make sure you stay in bed, but she’ll also blame herself. She always knows you most likely got sick from one of her parties, and she just wants to cuss herself out for being so careless, but despite that she makes sure you’re okay and heal as quick as possible.
🍯 Ever since you two met she’s decided that from now on she is going to be the one in control, to be the powerful sin that she knows she is. You are her lover now, and you aren’t going to leave until you literally die. And even then she’ll just pull some strings upstairs to try and get you back.
“You know I love you, pup, right? I literally love you so much!”
“Baby, don’t listen to anyone saying I’m just using you. They’re all jealous they don’t have something as special as we do.”
“I’d never let anyone hurt you, and if anyone tried I’d probably rip all their limbs off and force them to stay alive so we can fuck in front of them, and then I’d kill them!”
I’m open to writing some hellaverse x reader relationship headcanons now!
You guys can just send it in the request box! Sfw and nsft is allowed!
What I will do:
Parent canon-character and child reader, parent reader and child canon-character (PLATONIC+SFW ONLY!!!)
Specific details about the reader (ex: reader with a mobility aid, xenogender reader, reader with a really specific backstory, etc)
Character death and violence
Specific headcanons you have about canon-characters
Reader or canon-character that dealt with any kind of abuse in the past
Pretty much anything else that ISNT mentioned on my “What I won’t do” list!
More “accepted” kinks/fetishes (ex: pet play, dom/sub, power dynamic, degradation/praise, etc)
What I’m iffy about, I may write it, I may not:
More taboo kinks/fetishes, as long as it’s still written as consensual (ex: piss, cnc roleplay, vore, somno, feet, etc)
Themes of suicide and/or self harm
What I won’t do:
Adult x child
Incest
Actual rape
Other weird proship darkship shit
Author’s Note:
I’m still working on chapters 3 and 4 for ᑎOOᗪᒪE ᗰᗩᑎ (sir pentious x reader) and the first few chapters of "ᴍʏ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇʀ" (mammon x reader) but it’s gonna take a while so I thought why not fill the space with simple relationship headcanons!
I do not write for darkship or proship, fuck you weirdos.
Chapter 2: Desperate Measures
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Masterlist (find other chapters & fanfics here!)
Cross-posted to AO3!
The candles burned softly as I placed them on the floor carefully. The smell filled my nose and the dimly lit room at the same time. I paused for a moment to look upon the masterpiece I created.
It was a circle drawn with chalk, it wasn't perfect but it could certainly keep me safe from Seabears. In the center was a simple star I'd draw a lot on papers as a kid. Five lit candles stood idle at each point of the star on the floor.
Quietly, I sat on my knees beside the pentagram and lifted the book from the library. I opened it and slowly began to read a chant out loud. It almost seemed like the Earth went silent as the words slowly exited past my lips.
When I finished, I sat there and quietly waited for a few seconds. Unfortunately... nothing happened. I sighed and my tense shoulders fell with disappointment. 'Of course it wouldn't work again!' I thought with a frown.
I just sat there angrily before I then began flipping back to the instructions page. A sliver of hope boiled inside that empty noggin of mine. '...did I forget something..?' And goddamn it, I did. An offering.
'What the fuck do I use as an offering..?!' I quirked an eyebrow and looked around the dimly lit living room, I thought about it. 'Some food maybe.. but what do demons eat?' I sighed. 'Or maybe an item close to my heart or something?' Slowly, I stood up and began to rummage around.
I picked up car keys. 'No..'
My phone. 'Definitely not.'
A hat. I paused and looked at it.
It was a simple black top hat. I bought it for a cosplay convention once, that was fun. Every now and then I put it on for the silly hahas because of how small it would make my head look, but other than that I never wear it outside unless it's for some kind of costume. 'Well, it has a happy memory attached to it...' A devilish smile rested on my face at just the thought. 'Perfect..'
I sat back down next to the pentagram, gently placed the top hat in the center and opened the book back up. With eyes now closed, I slowly and steadily repeated the chant. And it happened again. The living room fell silent and so did the Earth, at least it seemed so. The shadows on the wall seemed to grow larger as I chanted, my own shadow seemed to loom over me like a monster.
Once I finished, I opened my eyes...only to see nothing again. My shoulders fell as I scoffed and slowly shook my head. "Goddamn it.." I mumbled and rested my hand on my knee as I slowly stood back up.
But as I did that, the white chalk that formed the pentagram seemed to glow a bright red. My eyes widened in shock as I fell back to my knees. An ember of Satan glowed bright in front of me, as the hat begin to shake on the floor.
A smile slowly formed on my face as I eagerly awaited the arrival, eyes now glued to the hat. It shook for a moment before abruptly stopping. A little confused, I leaned in closer and almost immediately a big bright yellow eye opened up on the hat.
It blinked and looked around the room, before a hand then reached out, seeming to come from the pentagram itself. I excitedly bounced where I sat as a tall creature rose from the circle. It looked to be around eight feet. Ooooh a height difference...your fanfic reading ass is probably screaming rn..
It appeared to be a snake-like man, specifically a cobra based off the hood. Eyes spread across his body like wildfire, even seeming to be on his clothes, with the hat and the bowtie.
He was a lot lankier and less monstrous looking than I expected for a demon, but honestly... I'm not complaining. It's not like I had a clear idea of what the demon would look like, I literally had no clue. He bumped his head onto the ceiling and immediately went to bend down just so he could even fit in my small apartment. He blinked a few times and rubbed his head. "Ugh.. what happened now?!" He suddenly shouted and placed his fists on his sides sassily.
He looked around my living room, all his eyes squinted with confusion. I licked my dry lips and spoke up. "Helloooo..." All his eyes widened as he looked around himself before he then looked down at my small ass on the floor.
A little awkwardly, he leaned down to be at eye level. "What- ..are you living? Am I back on Earth?!" He questioned, his voice going up a few octaves. I nodded and gestured to where he...well you wouldn't say stood since he doesn't have legs, but I also wouldn't say he's sitting down....
...he was there, you get the idea. "Yeah, I summoned you." He looked at the pentagram below him. His tail slithered out of the way to get a better look. He went quiet and squinted hard. "...I've never been summoned before.." He mumbled.
I just smiled up at him. "Well how did it feel?" He put a hand on his chin. "Well, it was kind of warm, but also- wait!- why did you summon me?" He then questioned me with a suspicious look.
I rubbed my hands eagerly and my smile widened. "Well..." I placed my shaky hands on my knees and sucked in a big breath. "I've practiced this in my head.." I whispered to myself.
He kept his eyebrow raised at my actions, he turned his head to the side suspiciously. Finally, after a few excited breaths to prepare, I smiled. I've pretty much been smiling this whole time, which wasn't necessarily common with me. "I'd like to see if you wanna be my hot demon boyfriend." My shoulders tensed as I awaited his answer. "..please?"
He stared at me with his mouth agape for several seconds. My smile awkwardly strained as my brain began to prepare for disappointment. His face went through several different emotions, I'm pretty sure this guy just went though the five stages of grief right there.
"...hm." He then placed his hand on his chin and scratched lightly, he actually considered my offer for a moment!! "...is that all, or is there something extra you're not mentioning?" I shook my head at his suspicions. "Other than not cheating on me with another demon or a succubus or whoever else is down in hell with you, or killing me, ......then no..!"
The demon squinted his eyes at me again before he then clicked his tongue. "Does this mean I'm stuck on Earth, or do I take you go back to hell with me?" I took a second to think before I shook my head. "Uh, ..the book said you can freely travel between hell and my apartment with that pentagram, as long as I keep it out at least." I explained, although I was not-so-sure of it myself.
"But it also said something about you being trapped in the outline of my apartment, unless I move the pentagram...which probably won't happen." I snickered softly. Unfortunately my answer earned a frustrated grunt from the snake demon.
He was quiet again, before he then turned back to me with a hopeful expression. "...can I build my machines here?" I nodded casually. "What about my egg bois, can I bring them here too?" I nodded again, but now with a confused chuckle. "Egg bois?"
"Yes, my minions." He placed his palms together with a grin like a cartoon supervillain. I just chuckled again. He's oddly cute with a grin, even if his teeth are yellow like mustard and sharp as needles.
I was about to say something, but were interrupted by a few small figures that jumped out from the pentagram. Little anthropomorphic egg men, they looked to be around the size of a watermelon. They're all so cute too, they have little top hats and little suits to match!!
OUGH! I immediately felt the urge to just pick one up and hold it, but despite how badly I wanted it to happen, I ignored that urge.. They're little demon minions so I assume they aren't as nice as they look. "Aww." Though I couldn't help but coo. They all looked around, confused by the new and unfamiliar environment.
The demon scoffed at my cooing. "No need for that! They're evil, not cute!" One of them looked up at me with his little yolk eyes. "Yeah, we're evil!" He agreed with his boss, in a goofy ahh cartoonishly dumb sounding voice. I let out a small squeal and covered my mouth.
"So..." I looked back up at the snake demon with a hopeful smile. "...is this all a yes, to the hot demon boyfriend thing I mean..?" He seemed to scan me up and down before he then looked around my apartment. He was silent for a moment... "I suppose I could be your boyfriend, though unless you have a heating lamp I don't think I'd be as hot..." He muttered under his snake-y breath.
"That's amazing!" I stood, my head only reaching his chest. "Also what's your name?" "Sir Pentious! And yours?" I told him my name with a wide smile. It's a mystery how my cheeks haven't managed to strain from how much smiling I'm doing. But hey, I'm happy with this.
I do not write for darkship or proship, fuck you weirdos
Chapter 1: Desperate Times
-> Next chapter
Masterlist (find other chapters & fanfics here!)
Cross-posted to AO3!
Ever since I was little I've always wanted to do one thing.
Summon a demon.
Not in a funny way like how teenagers do it as a fun party game, but like legitimately summon a demon. The idea is just fascinating to me and has been for so long. Summoning a creature from the deepest pits of hell to possibly torture those who've wronged me, and I've been wronged by many, many people.
Though I wasn't only interested in revenge, I also was simply curious if a demon would want to be friends with me. It would be so cool if I had a demon friend! I always pictured the dynamic I'd have with a demon bestie similar to Beetlejuice and Lydia from the cartoon. But after my teen years the reasoning for summoning a demon shifted from a friend to something else.
"Good afternoon! Are you having a nice day?" The lady at the counter chirped. I smiled and nodded as I walked past. I made my way down the aisle and stopped in front of the candles. 'I wonder what scent I should get, or what scent they'd like.' I thought as I began sniff testing.
I've actually tried summoning demons before. Many times growing up actually. All never worked though, but a few have caused weird occurrences to happen. Like one time I put a supposedly dead squirrel, I found in the road, on the summoning circle as an offering and the squirrel suddenly hopped alive and scurried off into your vents, and then die in there for real.
There was also the other time I tried summoning and after it didn't work, I swear I kept hearing ghostly voices from across the room every now and then. My parents convinced me that it was just in your head though.
And many, many, many more failures all throughout my developmental years.
Honestly after so long of nothing but failed summonings, I started to think that summoning demons wasn't possible.
But one time really stuck out to me.
The time I almost got it right, and the pentagram on the floor glowed for a moment before stopping suddenly. Nothing happened after, but it definitely set that fantasy in reality. This shit is real.
Now I'm a big believer in the "if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" principle! It's good to keep an optimistic mindset about these kinds of things! Otherwise I may end up with another failed summoning.
I sniffed a couple candles before stopping at one scent. It was strong but also sweet, like fruit. The sticker on the case read "Serpent Gentlemen". I don't really understand the names of some candles but this one seems nice.
A tiny smile rested on my face as I then began filling my cart with multiple of those Serpent Gentleman candles. Although it earned a few weird stares from normal customers, I couldn't care less what they think of me. At least I'm having fun with my life.